Worth
by Lighter
Summary: With his happiness on the line Rocky has to decide what's the right thing to do with his life since his decision to live an alternative life style. Does he owe it to his family to remain the sweet, wholesome boy they know or does he owe himself happiness.
1. Guess who's back in town

Warnings: This fic contains a slash theme. To those who don't know that doesn't mean slasher like a horror movie it means two men engaging in a sexual act. Hmm a couple swears here and there nothing major. Bad name calling so yeah we'll just say language. Sex. Aaaand nope that's it. I hope you will all like it. Drop me a review sometime. Lighter.

...

August 21, 2005.

The sky is bright blue, the fall sun shining without heat over head. Crowded streets, packed shopping malls, and fast food restuarants serving well into their stock. But as his silver _Nisan_ pulled into the _Wendy's_ parking lot; the driver's attention is focused specifically on one car, and one person. He thought he was crazy when his car neared the eatery and he spotted a blue _Taurus_ but when he glanced into the back window and spotted a pair of handcuffs choking a stuffed Heath Cliff attached to the rear view mirror, he knew the car belonged to only that one person. Robbie Ballerini. Exiting his car Rocky walks into _Wendy's_ looking around with his glance for the male. He spots him finally at a back table, his back to the entrance, head down as he eats a box of fries. Smiling, Rocky walks over to the table reaching over the downtrotten males head to snag a french frie, cringing when he chewed it.

"Yuck. How long have you been sitting here, these things are stale." Taking a seat across from Robbie, he smiles at him when the frost eyed male lifts his head.

The brunet's expression was priceless as his look of dispair exploded into a wide grin of happiness, right before it deflated once again. "I'm having that fantasy again." Robbie says to himself. Pulling his cup over to him he lowers his mouth over the straw, sucking boredly at his drink. Glancing at the illusion he cocks a brow then removes the straw from his mouth and ponders out loud. "Although my imagination is getting creative with the clothes."

Cocking a brow, Rocky looks down at his clothes; the school uniform from the school of the mentally gifted covers his body with a royal blue high neck jacket and matching slacks, with Rocky's choice of a white t-shirt underneath since the jacket it worn closed. Its a resemblance of a Japanese school uniform. Speaking of which, the slightly risen neck on the jacket was making him hot. Sliding his arm from the jacket, he snickers seeing Robbie's suprised reaction.

"Oh so you're _that_ fantasy." He adjusts his sitting posture like he's really going to get a show.

"Robbie snap out of it," Says the blond while draping his jacket over the seat. Tugging the front of his shirt to allow himself some air against his chest, he then scoots his chair up a bit to lean in and speak as privately to the male as he can. "I'm real."

"Rocky! You're home!" Shouts the ever mood changing male. "When did you get in? How did things go at the psychic school? Did you make any friends? Why'd you cut your hair? But I like that you changed the style." He took a pause for a breath but Rocky cut in.

"What?" The blond asks having only heard half of the rush of words. "And what was wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing," he could hardly keep the joy from his voice. "I just like that you let your bangs brush over your forehead instead of sweeping them to the side. You look great."

"Thanks."

Slapping Rocky on the hand with the back of his he presses. "So how are you? How did things go at the school?"

"It went great." The ninja shrugs. "I met a lot of nice people. There was only one other guy with the same gift as me, we shared a room and had to train with each other." Again he shrugs.

Tapping his foot on the floor, Robbie's silence is loaded as he waits for more details of what his boyfriend did while away for two and a half months. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

Gesturing elaborately with his hands and shaking head he asks. "Well, what else? Did you get along with the guy? Was he your summer love?"

Rocky blinked as he listened to that. Robbie sounded like an idiot. "Robbie... I'm not gay."

Lowering his gaze the male says. "I know, but... I just kind of was wondering." He balls up his napkin the grabs his tray and stands. "I've been here in L.A., _alone_, and wondering what you were doing passed the time. And let me tell you, I was not seeing happy things." He walks his food to the trash dumping it into the covered bin, then returning to the table he grabs his jacket then starts for the door.

Rocky watched him do these things then followed after his lead for the exit. Now that they're away from prying ears, he replies to the males accusations once in the car. "I'm not Sin. I don't jump every warm thing I see and I'm not gay. Why would you worry?" He cocks his head to the side to look at the males face.

Feeling heat rising to his cheeks, he replies with a knot in his stomach. "We... You know how you and me left things. You shoved me off when I wanted you to," he clears his throat as the uncomfortable feeling of what he's saying began to set in. "Be intimate with me instead of me being intimate with you."

Rocky continued to stare with an expression that asked him to continue.

"I kind of thought that... maybe you realized that what happened between you and me was too much on the fly and you've changed your mind." Robbie looks a lot like a kid thats just been mocked by his parents for drawing an ugly picture that he's really proud of.

Rocky straightened himself in his seat when Robbie started the car. He had a thoughtful look on his face but said nothing as he climbed out of the brunet's car and into his own. The silver car followed the blue one back to the college campus and the two walk in silence to their dorm room. The newbies will be coming in a week which meant Colt would soon be Rocky's roommate and Robbie will be out. Rocky's been thinking a lot about what he's left at home when going away to the special school. Three months of hard thinking and he could barely come up with a good enough answer to his many questions, hardly a thing he could do about the nagging words telling him the wrong choice would screw up his life forever, and the other choice pretty much the same nagging only it was on a more personal scale because that voice spoke about his happiness being taken away. And from the way they had left things it really was no wonder why Robbie is confused with their situation.

When in the safety of their dorm room; Robbie chose that moment to give his boyfriend a welcome home kiss. To his dismay Rocky backed away from it.

"What are you doing?" He asked carefully while taking a seat on his bed then removing his sneakers.

Seeing this it clicked into Robbie's head what was going on. "Right. You have to change first, that's really inconsiderate of me." He takes a seat on his bed. "Do you want me to turn on the shower? I didn't use all the water or anything."

Rocky cast the male a curious glance. Was he gonna brush his teeth and floss for him too? He's only been gone nearly three months, although; Rocky could understand how Robbie must feel. He'd been missing about that amount of time and it must have been driving him crazy not being able to see him or talk to him while he was in Japan. Getting up from his bed, he sits down on Robbie. Wrapping his arms around the male he hugs him close, unable to resist rubbing his cheek against the ear. Robbie gave him a tighter squeeze.

"I'm sorry you were worried but, I'm home now and I'm fine." He mumbled.

Robbie leans back from the hug and before Rocky can move he presses his lips to the ninjas. Parting his mouth for a breath before his lips made contact again between Rocky's to seperate his mouth as well. Fingers in the brunet's dark mass of waves that try to curl, Rocky rakes them through enjoying the scent of Robbie's shampoo coming out with each part. Robbie lowered his hands to Rocky's lower back the moment he heard a satisfied little moan from the ninja; he missed him more than words could describe. Turning his body, lifting his leg to bent so that he's now side ways Robbie gains further advantage in the kiss as his tongue taps on the opening and closing door of the blond's mouth. A game of tag then took place as the two boys ate kisses from one another all while watching out for the other persons tongue. Things were going smoothly until Robbie attempted to lay them down on his bed.

"Wait." He mumbled out before receiving another languid kiss. No this is wrong. "Robbie stop." He pushes the male away. "We can't do this."

Hearing the tone Rocky has taken the Canadian could tell Rocky meant more than just the kiss. "But why? I thought that we-..." He stopped speaking seeing the ninja shake his head. "What's changed? What happened?" Robbie didn't want to press the matter but he had somewhat of a right to know why his used-to-be boyfriend is giving him the brush off all of a sudden.

Sighing, he stands to put some distance between them. "From the moment I left all I could think about was getting back and starting a relationship with you and actually being _really_ happy, but then I get there and things came in clear for me." He stops by the closet going inside to grab some clothes, when back out he continues. "This guy name Rakuta had the same gift as me and Kirimoto-sensei assigned the two of us to room together and practice with each other and from the moment I saw him I wanted him. No not just wanted, I _needed_ him. My skin crawled at the thought of him touching me and wanting me back." Pulling his t-shirt from over his head Rocky walks into the bathroom leaving Robbie to his own conclusions.

The dark haired male was shocked for sure, but he didn't understand why Rocky was so 180 about the two of them. If this Rakuta was just a summer love than why not forget him and go back to how they intended to be? He wouldn't be hurt by it, even if the two slept together. But when Rocky returned, fishing through his suitcase he locates a shampoo and soap, toothbrush and tooth paste. Setting them on the dresser he sits down again on his bed.

"I'm sorry I'm rushing this, I'll have to better explain myself when I get back from my parents. But nothing happened between us, me and Rakuta I mean but Robbie when I talked to him he said that he was instantly attracted to me too. We were freaked out because neither of us is gay but we wanted to..." He let Robbie finish his sentence.

"But what does this have to do with us?"

Sighing, Rocky runs a frustrated hand through his hair then shrugs. "The point is I slept with you and I really, _really_ wanted to and I thought it was a genuine feeling but to get over there and have that wash over me again I was just concerned." Seeing Robbie's uncertainty, he explains. "We spoke to Kirimoto-sensei and he said it was natural for psychic's to gravitate towards each other because our minds want to communicate. Since we as people can't understand why we think its more than that and want that person physically to dispel it."

"And you think that that's what happened between us?"

"I don't think, I know."

"But do you know? Do you really know for sure?" He sits on Rocky's bed. "Because I looked into your eyes and you didn't look past me when we were together. We were on the same page, we both wanted each other and it. How can you write it off as abilities wanting to connect."

"Because if it could happen with him it could happen with anyone and if we were together how can you relax wondering if I'm gonna cheat on you when another psychic." Lowering his gaze he adds. "Besides, Robbie you and I both know that I'm not into men. Sin may have been but I just don't feel that way."

"...Oh." Hopes dashed, Robbie swallows hard then gives a shrug. "Hey its alright. I said I wouldn't fight you and I won't. You wanna just be friends we'll be friends."

Nodding, Rocky stands with his toiletries gathered. "Thank you. And I'm sorry, I know you really wanted to be with me but I can't give you that."

Robbie held up his hands as if to say 'say no more'. And he lay back on his bed as Rocky vanished into the bathrooms safety. Life stinks.

Rocky rest his back on the bathroom door; tears fall from his dual colored eyes. He hated to lie like that, though everything he said about going to the school was true the part about him not wanting to be with Robbie was a lie. Truth was, he'd thought about them together and he was happy, but he then thought about the their after and he knew it wouldn't be good for his family if they knew and his friends would be cruel. He didn't so much care about the friends part, but he cared that some angry people would hurt Robbie thinking he corrupted him somehow, or his aunt and he's reaping the rewards. Not to mention his family will disown him or worse. And Arc is coming, he now has a kid to think about. No. Lying is better then being happy. He's been doing it for years what's the rest of his life? Shoving from the door, he drops his boxers then steps into the warm spray of water.

...

Jessica hugged her son so hard he thought his head would fly off. She then landed kisses on his face like a rain storm before backing away to get a good look at him. "You look so handsome, Rocky." It sounded as if the woman were on the verge of tears. "And you cut your hair! I love the way it looks."

"Thanks." He says then walks around her further into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch, he's greeted by his little brother slamming into him for a hug. "Hey Tum."

"Was it awesome?" Asks the younger boy.

Colt, who just came in from the kitchen throws his two cents in. "Were there girls?" He sits on the arm chair but gives his brother a welcome home slap on the knee.

"It was awesome and no there were no girls," he says to Colt. "It was an all boys school."

"Must have sucked."

Rocky shakes his head. "But I learned a lot from the school and made a couple friends. A twelve year old cut my hair. He said he's done it for his brother lots of times so he could do mine if I really wanted it gone. Ironically the kid was bald."

The three of them chuckle.

Just noticing the absence he asks. "Where's Dad?"

"Big case. He said he'll be home later though." Jessica takes a seat at Rocky's other side. "You're staying for dinner," she said without leaving her oldest boy much of a choice. "We're having your favorite."

"Thanks."

"So come on Rock'," Says Tum, his older brother still not used to his deeper tone. He'll always hear that little squeaker their brother used to be. "Show us something cool you learned." Looking about the room he points. "Make that vase float over here."

Shaking his head he stands up. "I'm not gonna do that. Tum tum the reason for going was so that I could keep it down not use it willy nilly, for any dumb reason." Heading into the kitchen he gets himself a glass of water, then comes back. "I wanna be normal, like I've always been. It'd be better if you just forgot about it."

Crossing his arms, he says smartly. "Yeah that'll be easy."

"Hey Rocky," Colt says retreaving everyone's attention. "I'm already packed I just need to move my stuff in over the weekend. So give what's-his-name a heads up."

"He already knows, he's gonna get your single."

Mouth agape, he waves his hand. "W- wait a minute, I get a single?"

"Yeah, the doubles are filled. I checked."

Thinking that over. "Well, tell him to room with another set of guys. I may wanna keep that room any way incase I meet a cute girl or two."

"Jeffrey." His mother says in a stern voice.

"Colt it doesn't work that way. You either have one or the other." Informs Rocky. "Personally, I'd take the room alone." He downs his glass of water.

"Guy's not home eight minutes and he's already back to giving orders." He stands. "Yeah, that room alone is sounding better by the second."

The three watch the male exit for the kitchen. Tum tum gave his brother another hug before dashing out of the house saying that he had a date with Paige. Colt went upstairs to study for a test leaving Rocky and his mother alone. The older boy has never felt so nervous in his mothers presence before. It was almost like she knew his secret and was just waiting to spring it on him that she does, at which point she'll call him a horrible person and cast him out of her life. Bad enough he's a freak but now he has to go and add being attracted to a boy on top of it. Sure he made sure that he and Robbie weren't going to date but that doesn't erase how he feels. Maybe Dr. Maxim can give him some suggestions or insight, anything that will keep him from supressing some emotion that will bring Sin back or worse, a new alter all together. Its been three months and Rocky's noticed little differences about himself that could only have come from he and Sin merging. Like his new taste for meat again. He's been a solid vegetarian for years and the moment they were joined he craved a double bacon cheese burger. In Japan when the others went out for a late night party, he went with them to the club when normally that wasn't his thing. and the brief kiss he shared with Rakuta so the two of them could be sure that what they felt was nothing, proved that deep down being happy in love with a man wasn't completely out of the running. But it is because it will upset his family too much and he doesn't wanna do that. Having his video's possibly on the web is bad enough to damage their reputation, but he wasn't about to be gay to showcase just how badly Maria /Marissa had affected him.

"You're thinking hard," Says his mother at his side. He'd forgotten he wasn't alone. "wanna spill the beans what its about?"

Rocky looks at the woman with a small smile. Then looking down at his lap he bites his thumb in thought. Another one of Sin's habits. "Naah, its nothing serious I was just thinking about Arc." He says completely out of the blue.

"Yeah, weren't we all. He's coming here for a visit isn't he?"

Rocky nods. "Robbie says in two weeks, maybe three. I hope he likes me." He trails off at the end.

"I'm sure he'll love you." She gives his arm a squeeze.

"I got him a present." Says Rocky. "Mini-chucks. I thought we could bond together easily enough if I taught him some moves. We started learning as soon as four so I thought he could do it alright."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Yeah."

The two sit in a comfortable silence. Jessica snapped her fingers, the stands up. From the side drawer she pulls free some letters.

"These are for you." She hands them over to her son. "They came here while you were away."

"Thank you." He looks them over. About five of them. Two from Noelie and one from Emily. He wondered what that one had to say and another from Corin Balsam. He didn't look at the name on the last one to struck by the one from Robbie's cousin. She had been trying to get in touch with him but couldn't because Sin deleted his phone messages. He had to know what it said. "Mom can you excuse me please?"

"Sure. I'll get dinner started. I don't wanna eat to late anyhow."

"Thanks." When she was safely from eye shot in the kitchen Rocky tore open the letter and read.

_Dear Samuel Douglas,_

_You don't know me but I feel like I know you. You've been avoiding my calls, though, I can understand why. I really want to speak with you in person because I have something to give you. I will bring my brother to L.A. to see you so that you and I can speak. Please don't avoid me, I'm not a bad person._

_Sincerly,_

_Corin._


	2. Recapping

Late that night around 10:15 the Douglas brothers are out taking a walk. When Rocky first moved out, along with calling home every week he promised to come by and take a walk with his brothers to catch up on anything that's been going on with the three of them. Its been a while since all 3 of them were able to do it. Colt was usually the one tardy but they always end up doing it the next week its just that Rocky and Tum tum have had more time together than he and Colt. But tonight, since Tum tum has a date its just him and Colt.

"So... what's up?" Asks Rocky shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. He hates getting the ball rolling, he's better in the conversation.

"Lots of stuff." Says Colt absently. "Gradutation was surprising, Dad was the one that got teary eyed." He laughed at the memory.

Rocky laughed shaking his head. "See, you just gave yourself away, Dad never cries."

Smile on his face, Colt retorts. "Oh no Rocky, when the black sheep of the family graduates from high school it moves you."

Not finding that funny, Rocky nudges his brother with his elbow. "Come on, your not the black sheep. Dad loves you, he's just hard on you because he thinks you don't have a direction."

"But that's just it Rocky, I _don't_ have a direction." He scratches his cheek. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about things during the night before bed and I realized that I'm not going anywhere- even Tum knows what he wants to do in life."

"Yeah but Tum wants to be a race car driver, he's not living realistically."

"Tch. At least he knows what he wants to do." Colt then adds. "Real or not, and besides someone gives those guys their jobs. He just needs to be trained."

Rocky looked at his brother a long time then sighs. "What do you wanna do?"

Colt shrugs. "I honestly don't know."

"Come on, even if its just a pipe dream you've gotta want something."

"Music." Colt says staring up at the sky. "I wanna be a rockstar." He then laughs. "See, bullshit."

"Its not." He looks at the ground. The concrete path is practically invisible beneath their feet. "Its that thing you work on acheeving while you're doing something else. Drama, philosophy, art. Colt there are a lot of things you can do to distract you while you work on being a rockstar."

Colt only laughs. "You know," He looks at his brothers barely visible image. "when I was younger I used to want to be a lawyer?"

"Oh yeah, what stopped you?"

Colt shrugs. "I just lost interest that's all."

"Maybe you should revisit that idea. You could be a great lawyer; you've got great killer instict." Rocky pats his brother on the shoulder. "I think you'd make it far in that field."

Colt scoffs. "I don't think so. I don't have the same sense of law that everyone else does. I'd want more than life in prison for people who don't deserve it and I'd suverely punish anyone that thought they were getting away with something by pleading innocent."

Snickering Rocky shakes his head. "Maybe so, but I still think everyone needs some kind of person like you on their side. I honestly don't know what to think about the law. I guess that's why I chose the easy path of being a private investigator. I can work the cases and have nothing to do with the punishments..." He trails off his voice softening. "Especially after what happened to me. I just couldn't think about putting someone away knowing what its like being locked up myself. He or she would be tortured by other prison mates... its too much to think about."

Colt looks at his brother with a faint smile. "I don't mean to say it but, I'm glad you shared that with me."

"What?"

"You know, your feelings about that." He looks up at the sky. "You never share your feelings with anyone, opinion maybe but never feelings and its nice."

Rocky only blinked. Was he really that cold to everyone? He always thought he was warm and approachable but to hear this it makes him feel not so sure. Thinking about it his brothers have always been open about their opinions as well as feelings. Colt never hesitated to show his brothers that he loved them- when the time was needed and Tum was completely comfortable with his feelings. He often told the two of them he loved them receiving a 'ditto' or 'I feel the same' following it.

"There was a party at the _Sunbelt_." Colt's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?"

"After graduation, there was a party. Tum came with Paige saying it was just a coincidence that I happened to be there but we had fun. I wish you could have been there, I'm sure all the guys would have hounded you with questions about living in a dorm."

Scoffing, Rocky says. "Why is it so interesting to live in a tiny room at a college."

"Because its co-ed. I mean, you chose to have a male roommate and I'm choosing to have you so we can live it up together. Get closer, ya know."

"I know. But believe it or not it doesn't work that way. They just assign someone into your room you don't get a choice, so your roommate could be male or female."

"...Seriously?"

"Uh-huh."

"That sucks. I guess it is better I'm kicking Robbie out, I could end up rooming with some freak."

"Imagine how the poor freak would feel." He teased his brother shoving him off the sidewalk. Rocky kind of wished his brother didn't use the word 'freak' around him but Colt wouldn't understand. Besides, you can't change the way you've been speaking all your life in one day.

Shoving him back he retorts. "Dick."

"Whatever." Rocky walks along laughing silently. Its gonna be new having his brother being his roommate as opposed to Robbie, but because of this it will also make it easier on him to stick with his plans not to see him in that way. They'll always be friends.

"Hey Rocky?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you're feeling better about everything? I mean, I know you're still seeing Dr. Maxim, but you said that was just because you wanted someone to listen without making you feel like a creep."

Rocky had to think about that. On the one hand, yes, he feels great inside and out but deep down... deep down he feels nervous at every corner and curious as to whom all saw him on those tapes when he was younger. What if some perve approached him someday because they recognize him? He didn't know what he'd do. He honestly didn't know. Maybe he'd use his gift and hurt the person, maybe he'd shut down in front of them and have them take advantage of him or worse hurt him mentally by making fun of a young boy who couldn't defend his self. There were too many problems for him to ever really be fine. But as for living in the now, he feels great. Minus a few emotional problems with his happiness due to lack of love-life because he's made the wrong choice of having it be with a male.

"Yes. I feel fine." He replies easily.

"Really, really?"

"Yes, really."

Nodding, his brother says. "Good. I don't like seeing my brothers upset. It makes me wanna hurt the person who did it and since she's already dead it just makes me angrier."

Rocky found that as an odd thing to say, but he agreed on one thing. "Yeah. I don't like seeing you or Tum hurt either."

"Thanks." He grins. "Happiness is all that matters now, because everything is over."

"Maybe not everything."

"What'dya mean?"

"Its this girl, Corin... Robbie's cousin. She wants to talk to me about something she found and wants to give me. I don't know all the details." Rocky sounds distant. "I could have called her ages ago but Sin kept deleting my messages. I got a letter from her today."

"You shouldn't see her, what if she's as sick as her mother?"

"That's what I thought, but she sounds nice and besides Robbie loves her. She's lived with his family since the two of them were little kids because Maria was mentally ill." He never could get Marissa out before he said Maria. "I wanna know what she has, I want to end all of this before I spin out of control because people keep bringing a new this or that to me. Do you know what I mean?"

Nodding, Colt says. "Yeah. Its like... you've broken your leg and you think that's it but the doctor keeps coming in telling you there's more rather than just getting it all out of the way."

Cocking a brow, Rocky says. "Its not like that all."

Colt shrugs. He tried. "But I do get what you're saying."

"Good. We better get home before Mom worries." He checks the dayglow on his watch. "11:07." He tells his brother. "We've got enough time to get back."

"Alright."

The two turn on their heels and head home.

"Rocky. How was it really at that school, you know with motherly ears gone?"

Rocky laughs. "Seriously, it was all boys but it was fun. I love Japan and it'd be really awesome to live there someday."

Colt shakes his head. "Naah, I'm better suited for places where I speak the language better. I might move to New York someday though."

Rocky nods. He could see that. "It was weird though, being there..." His voice sounded like it were being taken into a dream. "I was completely surrounded by comfort and happiness because I was with people like myself. I didn't feel the need to shy away or hide myself just so people didn't freak out. I was encouraged to be me. Which is why at some point I felt a little scared... I started to see why Maria did what she did... like anyone different she wanted not to be alone. She wanted to be surrounded by people that were just like her so she could finally relax... finally smile."

"Rocky, what are you saying?" Colt asks with a hint of what sounded like disgust or fear in his tone.

"I'm not saying anything because just as soon as I realized what I'd been thinking I felt sick to my stomach and threw up my lunch." He held his stomach with the memory.

Sensing a bit of what was going on through his brothers head Colt puts an arm around Rocky's shoulders. "Hey," he says in a nice voice. "Your never gonna become Marissa, you may wanna feel accepted but you'd never do anything like she did. I know that."

"Yeah, but do _I_ know that." Rocky asks. "I can't trust myself sometimes, its like if Sin was able to use my gift to manifest himself then who knows what else may come of it. I need to attend that school a lot more to understand myself better so that I don't make the same mistakes she did because of confusion."

"Well why not skip a year of college, go to Japan and attend school there a full year." Suggest his first brother. "It couldn't hurt."

Rocky shakes his head. "No. I think its better I just keep up with my normal routines, too much stimulation might make things worse."

Colt laughed at that. "Which is why you rarely have sex. Rocky, you need to feel the fear and go for it man. Just go for it."

"'Go for it', huh?" He thinks about that. "You know what Colt. Maybe I will. What harm could it do?"

"Exactly!"

"And, I have a right to be happy too- at least for a little while."

"Maybe even forever, who cares- its your life. You have to keep remembering that."

"Right."

"Alright, now that that's settled let's get home before Mom kills us."

"Right."

The two laugh and woot while taking off on a sprint to their home. Colt can't wait to leave and Rocky can't wait to get back to the dorm and tell Robbie the news. Maybe he can't be happy forever like Colt says but he could at least have happiness for a week. Until Arc comes, until Colt arrives at the college. A week of freedom to be himself. He wasn't sure he was ready to handle something like that. _Feel the fear and go for it._ Harder goals have never been spoken.

...

Rocky had been running over the conversation in his head the entire trip back to campus. He was going to tell Robbie the conditions and hopefully the Canadian will want to go along with it. Rocky had nothing more to offer other than himself completely and he just didn't think he was ready for the entirety of that. His brothers, his parents and friends, it effects everyone around him. Why does his happiness have to ruin the lives of so many people? He never asked to see a friend and more in the one person whom he should flee from considering the males background with the person who had harmed him. But he can't get past the fact that if it weren't for Robbie he never would have been found- well, maybe not never but not as soon as he had been. Robbie made him feel like he wasn't special, like he wasn't someone to look after though he did want to do it, he didn't do it to such a degree he felt that he was right back in that cell. This has to work. A week of complete happiness. His happiness.

Opening the door to his dorm room, Rocky froze dead in his tracks. There on the bed to the right is Robbie, on top of some moaning stranger- a blonde of all things! Rocky is frozen, completely stuck in place as he watches this mound of flesh moving together on a bed. They haven't even been broken up for a day and this guy has already moved on. No. He can't be hurt by this, he isn't. Its laughable really. What did he expect that the guy was so into him he'd wait around forever, that was unlikely. Not to mention there was the fact that even if they were together it will be a time limit. Shaking his head to regain his senses he notices something as Robbie sits up.

_Red hair?_ Looking at the door number he notices for the first time that he's got the wrong room- wrong floor actually. Realizing this, his mouth opens and before he can stop it a laugh escapes his mouth. "I'm sorry." He holds up a hand leaving before the couple can figure out that someone else was in the room. Rocky made it to the stairwell just as the door reopened causing him to laugh harder. He had been wrong the whole time. Not only that but he just saw two people having sex which for some reason no matter how old you get is still funny. He didn't think he'd ever grow out of laughing at the idea of two people wanting to touch each other that way. It was always a different matter when you're the one doing it he supposed. He didn't feel awkward when he'd slept with Emily or Paula years ago and he didn't feel weird sleeping with Robbie only two or so months ago. But let him have seen those doing and he would have laughed. Especially catching two guys. ...Two guys. There's something wrong with that. There will always be something wrong with that, it won't change. People just can't accept it, they never will and yet he's gonna throw caution to the wind and do what he pleases. What kind of selfish way is that to live by. But he has to do it, just seeing how jealous he got from thinking Robbie was with someone else proved that what he felt for the male wasn't just because his gift wants to reach out to Robbie's.

Opening the door to _his_ room, Rocky tosses his car keys onto the desk in the corner of the room. Kicking off his sneakers, he quickly undresses then falls into bed. He's more tired than he realized. Closing his eyes he pops them open again looking over at Robbie's bed. The brunet is sleeping soundly across from him, face content, not a care in the world. Rocky smiled fondly at the male. Ruining his life is one thing, but two lives seems pointless. Rocky doesn't need to worsen Robbie's pain by being his borrowed-time-boyfriend.

_**I'm sorry Robbie.**_ He throws the words to the boy's mind.

The Canadian stirred as though he'd heard Rocky's words in his dreams. Rocky panicked a second but when the boy's eyes open he just stares at him in the darkness.

"How was your visit?" He asked the ninja.

"Great. We had stew."

"Lucky. I haven't had mothers cooking in years."

Snickering, Rocky says quietly. "It does suck doesn't it."

"Yeah." Rolling over onto his side from his stomach; opening the blanket Robbie pats the bed. "I know we're not together but come snuggle. It'll help you sleep."

Rocky shakes his head in dismay, hoping the secret smile on his face isn't seen. "Alright." Getting out of bed, he climbs into bed with the male, wrapping his arms around his waist, his head tucked under the boys chin. This is nice. Usually he does the holding. Closing his eyes, he smiles softly at the gentle caressing Robbie is giving his back with his fingers.

"I'm sorry too." The other male says quietly.

"About what?" Rocky feels weight on his eyelids. Sleep is kicking in quickly.

"Wanting to be with you. Hoping you'd give 'bi' a chance." He places a kiss on Rocky's forehead. "It was rude of me."

"It wasn't... I actually," His words stretch in a yawn. "really wanted to be with you too."

Blinking Robbie asks. "You did?"

Rocky nods, tilting his head up he kisses Robbie on the lips. The brunet is immobile in the kiss, at first but seeing that Rocky has pressed into it, he parts his lips joining in. The kisses are sleepy, heavy, filled with secrets and want. The softness of the touch of their tongues is like melted ice cream between the warmth of their mouths. Robbie wanted more than anything to lay himself over the ninja when his groin twitched to life, but he would take no more than Rocky gave him. He wants to be with him but as he said in the beginning whatever Rocky wants, Rocky gets. And if the male wants only to kiss, Robbie will just sit and enjoy it. But God why does the ninja have to have such an irresistable moan. Before Robbie could scold himself, his hand slid idly up Rocky's night shirt locating a pert nipple to tweak between his forefinger and thumb, rolling it about between them. Reveling in Rocky's sighs, Robbie pinches the nub between his index and middle finger rubbing the pad of his thumb over the flat of the other boys nipple.

Rocky's tongue curled around Robbie's trying to forcably keep it in his mouth to suck on like a gummy candy.

"Robbie," Rocky says against the other males lips.

"Mmm?" He couldn't exactly speak while his tongue is being massaged in ways he couldn't speak of.

Ceasing their kiss, Rocky grabs a hold of Robbie's menacing hand. "A week."

"Of week?" He steadies his breathing.

"To be together. Arc will be here Colt will be here and in the meantime til then we're free to just be together... if you don't mind a timelimit." There was hope in his words and Robbie could tell that if he looked into those dual colored eyes there would be hope in them as well.

"A week sounds like a month to me. I'd take you for even a day."

Smiling, he says. "You would?"

"Mmhmm." He nods leaning over to kiss the ninja again. "Here I thought I was getting away with murder by letting you kiss me." He kisses him yet again. "And can we do anything during this week?"

"Anything."

"Starting now?"

"Maybe tomorrow, right now I'm fine with just kissing."

"Deal. But," Climbing on top of the male. "we can at least pick it up a notch." He moves his hips comfortably around Rocky's.

Snickering at how easily amped up the male got, he nods. "Alright, besides I'd feel weird if you didn't. Anyone I've ever dated has always invited themselves to touch me or kiss me whenever they want. I always thought a person should be invited at least for a month or so, but its happened so much I've just kind of accepted it as part of human nature."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" Asks Robbie. "I didn't know you were Jewish." Lips on the blond's neck, he moves his hips up and down, glad that the material on boxers is so thin.

"I'm not. I'm just telling you that you don't need to feel like you need my permission to touch me," His words pause when Robbie kisses him on the lips. "you're my boyfriend and its your option and mine. Don't be skittish of it because you know what happened to me." He said further to clear everything up.

Looking at him, hands in his blond hair Robbie says sweetly. "I won't treat you like a victim, even if you should act like one."

"Thank you." He pulls him into a hug.

Laughing into the pillow he says in a muffled voice. "You're making it hard to... stay hard. You're just to damned cute."

"Good!" He laughs.


	3. Outside help for an inside job

A.N: And so closes the last of the graphic scenes the rest will just be mentionings but this has been running through my head like a steam engine so I figure why not share it ya know? It might be someone's favorite scene, it might not but either way since its at the end you can feel free to skip it its right after Charlotte Reeves chunk. Enjoy the chapter! Lighter!!

...

"Hi, Dr. Maxim." Greets Rocky, taking a seat on the long beige couch. Looking at the arm of the chair he wondered when the man had changed it.

Its the next day since he's gotten back from Japan and he needed to talk with the doctor as soon as the office opened at 10:30 that morning. Rocky has been going over this scenario and that about how people would react if they knew about his deal with Robbie and it was starting to eat at him. He needed to bounce idea's off of someone else for a while and who better than his shrink. The green ninja spent most of the night looking at his part-time-lover sleeping soundlessly beside him on his bed. Rocky had gotten back into his own once their make-out grind session was done. The two talked about nothing for a while then the Canadian was out for the night. He has never been so physically satisfied just by being touched by someone and Rocky's never felt so happy in someone's company. Everything he feels for Robbie is honest and true and he's sure the other male feels the same way.

"You're looking well this morning; I didn't realize you were coming back today." Greets the man warmly. Secretly he's missed the blond. He likes to listen to Rocky talk, he likes the way the confused male really mulls over things in his mind when he explains them to him. Rocky has to be one of the best patiens he's ever had.

"Thanks. I actually got in yesterday, though."

Nodding, he silently offers a reeses from the bowl of candy sitting on the desk but Rocky waved it away. "Oh. How was your trip? You said you were going to Japan for something?"

"Training for my gift." He mentioned quickly. He didn't wanna get into that, he just wanted to forget about it and move on with his life. "But, the reason I'm here is because I wanted to talk to you about something I've done- or I should say that I'm doing."

"What's that?" He picks up a pen twirling it between his fingers, waiting for the boom.

Taking in a breath to steady his nerves he says quietly. "Its got something to do with happiness, _my_ happiness." He emphasized. Lowering his gaze to his lap, he then looks the man square in the eyes and says. "I'm falling for someone and as a parent I wanted to know how you'd react to it."

"That's fine, but first you have to tell me what it is." His interest is spilling over now.

"What if... what if I told you that I'm falling for my male roommate?" He phrases it.

Dr. Maxim smiled at first then he processed the sentence turning his smile into a thin line on his face before pursing his lips as he watched Rocky slowly nod when he'd realized that he understood what he said. "When did this happen? How long has it been going on?"

"..." Thinking it over, he replies speeding through it. "Recently- I mean, the attraction was off and on for me but for him I think he said it was right around the time I went missing that he felt it the strongest, but he kissed me one time before I was taken and during that time I thought about him and I-..."

Waving a hand, he says quickly. "Slow down, I'm in no rush." He chuckles. "Explain it all to me at your speed."

Letting out a sigh, he says more calmly. "Robbie first became my roommate sometime first semester last year, we were friends right away because he was an honestly good guy, I thought. Time went by and at some point he ended up calming me down when I freaked out about missing time for the first time when Sin was trying to take over my subconscious. But I never noticed him until he gave me a massage to ease my headache... he kissed me. Not on the lips on the neck and jaw." He blushed a bit saying something like that to someone. "Robbie told me that I kissed him in return but I don't remember doing that which means Sin must have done it. Anyway, when I was taken I kept thinking about all the things and people I would never get to see again and he continued to pop up in my mind, even Maria noticed my thinking about him... it was part of the reason she had raped me with a sex toy just to make me afraid of it. I think she succeeded in doing the opposite."

"Do you think that maybe what happened to you is the reason you've decided to be a homosexual?" Asks Dr. Maxim as he took in the boys words.

Shaking his head, Rocky defends quickly. "I'm not gay Dr. Maxim, I just... have feelings for Robbie."

"Mm." He intoned. "Emotional? Physical? Mental?"

Rocky knew the answer to that easily. "Its all of them. I can honestly say that." He begins to figit in his seat; fingers pinching at the fabric of the couch. "It started out mental, even when I pushed him away I kind of kept thinking about him, then it became physical, now its emotional."

That caught the mans attention right away. "You've been intimate?"

The blush said it all. Rocky looked completely uncomfortable as he spoke. "One time" He clears his throat quickly. "with inner connection and twice without. It was just a release once bare and the other over the clothes."

Now it was the doctors turn to be embarrassed. He didn't need such graphic detail but it was intersting to know. "Most young men in college like to experement with same gender sex, women too."

"Yeah but Dr. Maxim I'm not experimenting. I'm not bisexual, and I'm not gay, I like women but... I like Robbie too." He defends. "And that's my problem... what if I wanna say fuck it to everyone and be with him as long as he wants to be with me. What if I don't care that people call me gay even though I'm not. How do I deal with that? How can I be part of that without hurting him from harrassment or my family from the humiliation that their son is seeing a man."

"That is a problem." Says Maxim calmly. "Do you plan on telling them?"

"If I decide to be with Robbie longer than our deal."

"Deal?"

"We call it the _week-end love_. The two of us are gonna date each other privately over this week before everything comes down on us."

"Telling everyone?"

"No, its because after the week we'll be just friends. My son Arc comes to visit so he can get to know me and I can get to know him; Colt comes to live with me at the dorms." He shrugs. "Stupidly, I said when he gets to college he and I can share a room and he thought it was an awesome idea. He thought college would loosen me up." He laughs a bit. "Out from under mother and father's thumb and yet I still feel like everything I do I need their permission."

"That's why you can't be with Robert, you think they won't approve."

"No, I know they won't. They're very strict in tradition and would never so much as compliment someone of same sex relationship without saying bless your soul or something afterwards. I think that its really kind of rude. I wouldn't want someone saying something like that to me when I already feel blessed. It makes it all seem really empty to love someone honestly just because you're the same gender." He swallows. "If a straight couple can make-out at the park why is that ok? But let male and male or two females so much as hold hands and the world laughs or says things like bless your soul. Its gonna hurt to be happy in that kind of environment."

"Mm." Intones the man.

The two of them sit quietly a moment, collecting their thoughts. Rocky wonders how much he can tell the man before what he's saying really settles in, and the doctor wondering many things about the young man.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel that your masculinaty has been taken away from you since Marissa Balsam raped you?" The doctor's words are full of weight both curious and slightly accussing.

Rocky laughed strangely for a second. "I thought you might say something like that. But you know the answer don't you?"

"Do I?"

Nodding, he says. "Forgive my bringing your son into this conversation but, Dr. Maxim, if Sinclaire were alive today and he told you that he was still very much in love with me and I returned those feelings for him having merged with Sin; would you concider him gay because of what happened between us- that it would pass once he realized it was all over and he is infact a man and should be with a woman? Or would you allow him to love me because you pity him? Would you hate the idea and put your son in therapy with you or another doctor until he's come to his senses?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes. Honestly."

"Professionally speaking, I would believe that he feels more comfortable with a male-male relationship due to what's happened to him. Any psychologist would tell you this. But as a father, if that were my son's decision than I would accept it whether he were 6 years old or 32. Parents want their children to grow old and have children of their own so that they can witness the joys and pains of parenthood, so that they themselves can become grandparents and have another special little someone to love and pamper now that you're out on your own and an adult." His eyes show sadness for a moment. "Sinclaire was my only son, my wife and I divorced after he went missing for longer than a year... I would have wanted to watch him grow up and leave our home, come back in some years with kids bouncing all over the place." Dr. Maxim laughs.

Rocky smiles.

"But even if that day never came because he's decided that he would like to persue a gay relationship, I would love him no matter what."

"Hn. I wish you were my father. Hearing that makes me feel good. Like no matter what I decide you'll never change how you feel about me." He cast his blue green gaze out the window behind the man. "Robbie makes me feel that same way."

"You think your parents won't love you anymore?"

"I honestly do think they'll disown me." Rocky's eyes well with tears. "My whole life I've been labeled into a personality; I know its wrong to live by what others think of you but this isn't just anyone, these people are my parents and my brothers; I want them to be proud of me and know me but..." He shrugs. "I can't even remember when it started happening, Mom wanting me to remain her baby, Dad wanting me to be a man, Tum tum looking to me for answers even though he's branded me perminantly miserable, and Colt he thinks I'm a butt-in who knows it all. In reality I don't know anything, I don't wanna be a baby because I'm not- I have sex, I live away from home, I drive, I vote- I have a kid! ...As far as being a man- hn, I'm no man. I'm confused, not a man."

"And your younger brother?"

"I would like to tell him that I'm sad about a lot of things, but he couldn't fix them. Only I can, but fixing them would make everyone else unhappy because it goes against their image of me. I never got to be me, I'm not even sure if I'm in there anymore, honestly."

"Do you feel yourself with Robert?"

"Yes. He called me funny," he smiles. "can you believe that- _me_, funny. Mr. know-it-all, level-headed, crybaby, baby. He likes just having me around, no jobs to do no way to act... just me."

Dr. Maxim nods.

"I'm starting to think that if I died, was I ever worth anything to my family other than the labels they placed on me? What would they miss, me or the jobs I had in their minds."

"I have no right to tell you what to do anymore than your parents or brothers but Rocky... happiness can only be accomplished when the mind and soul are in harmony, its not good health and comfortable living. Its all you."

"You're saying I should go for it."

"I'm saying, you find your joy and decide that its who you are and what you want, no one else."

Smiling, he stands. "Thank you. I'm really gonna think about that. All of it."

"And your secret?"

"I'm still considering what to do about that, long term or part-time. But if I decide the latter, please don't leave my side."

"Hmhmhmhm. I won't choose sides, I'll only guide in the right direction."

"I'll take that as a yes." He laughs. "I have to go okay, I'll see you sometime next week. Hopefully with good news."

"Mm. But Rocky can you think about something for me?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Nursing syndrome."

Rocky blinks. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe this love for no other male than Robert is a result of him being your nurse; in the army when men are badly wounded and someone cares for them for a stretch of time they begin to develope feelings for them, whether they're single or married."

"But Robbie never nursed me back to health." Rocky defends.

"True. But he was a big part of your rescue. You said had he not put up that flyer and visited his aunt, you might not have been found as soon as you were. You may have even been killed." Seeing the thoughtful look on the males face Dr. Maxim goes on to say. "He also helped you during your first black out and saw Maria with you at the club. Robert has been in and out of your life but mostly in good light... its possible these feelings come from seeing him as the rock you've always wanted from your parents or brothers."

_The... rock I've always wanted?_ He thinks hard about this. _Could he be...?_

"I'm not always right, son. But I just want you to think about it before you make any snap decisions that you think will ruin your life."

"O-.. kay. Good bye, sir."

"Bye."

Rocky leaves the room and office.

_Hm. I would have been happy if you loved him Sinclaire. I really would._ Thinks the man as he remembers his departed son.

...

"What do you think about smoking?" Asks Colt glancing through a mini-mart window.

He and Tum tum are taking a walk together since the younger boy couldn't make it the other night. Only this walk is taking place in the afternoon since its the weekend and neither of them had anything else to do.

"On who? You?" Asks Tum stopping when his brother does.

"Yeah. I wanna do something wild to celebrate my freedom from the watchful-eye-of-the-law we call Dad."

Paige shakes her head, arms crossing over her chest. "Naaah, you've really gotta have a look to pull off smoking. And you definitely don't have it."

Mouth agape, Colt swats the girl on the side of the head. "Excuse me princess, but what makes you such an expert on _the smokers look_?"

Fixing her fly-aways with one hand, she then shrugs it. "I've seen tv and everyone on it that smokes is roughed up and tossled, you... you're practically prince charming with the wrong hair color- since most prince's are blond."

"Ahaha, that's where you're wrong know-it-all. Prince Eric, brunet. Aladdin became a prince, brunet. That dude from _Beauty and the Beast_, bruuuunet." He let it drag just to rub it in. "And let's not forget-.."

Plugging her ears she says. "Okay, okay!"

Tum tum snickers at their antics, shaking his head. "Colt, you know Mom would snap your head off if she found out that you smoked- you know she would."

"Yeah," He says defeated. "How 'bout alcohol?"

"You're not 21." Informs his little brother with a smug smile.

"But I look 21."

"No you don't!" Tum and Paige say at once.

Slapping a hand to his forehead, he groans in frustration. "Why did I bring you two with me? Why?"

The three continue their walk chatting about this and that when Paige stops dead in her tracks. Eyes shining with mischief, the spunky portugues girl wabes her hands to the two boys. "Hey Colt! Look at this!"

"What is it?" He calls over his shoulder without stopping.

Rolling her eyes, she snaps at him. "Just come over here!"

Sighing in agitation, Colt walks over to where the girl is standing; Tum tum in tow. "What princess?"

"Look." Her grin widens almost enough to show top and bottom teeth.

He and Tum look at the window of a very small building and there in big bold letter reads: Tattoo parlor.

"It is easy to hide." Comments Tum tum.

Joining in Paige says. "It is something just about anyone can pull off."

Smiling just as huge as Paige, Colt says in a distant and happy tone. "Fuck me. It never dawned on me at all. This is perfect! My swearing into manhood-" he shakes his head then corrects himself. "_freedom_. A tattoo!"

Further inspecting the window Tum tum taps the glass where a piece of paper is taped. "Got 75 buck?"

...

Shaking her head, Paige touches a finger to the bandage on Colt's right chest. "What they won't give you for 75 bucks. Does this hurt?" She asks poking it harder.

"Yes!" He smacks her hand away. "So quit touching it."

"Sooorry."

"It may hurt but when you take the bandage off you're officially the coolest guy I know." Says Tum handing his brother his shirt back. "No one I know has a tattoo."

"Meanwhile, you'd better hope that kanji says 'freedom' and not 'chicken soup' or something. What do American's know about that stuff anyway. You copy some sign from tv and suddenly you're an international tattoo artist." Paige shrugs a hand.

"It'd better say freedom or that guys got a lawsuit on his hands." He smooths his shirt down over his torso. "Anyway, I'll ask Rocky, he can read this stuff."

Perking up as though he'd just remembered he has two brothers, Tum tum asks. "Where is Rocky anyway, I thought he said he'd meet us at Wendy's for lunch."

"He said if he could." Standing from the park bench, Colt places a hand over his pained chest. "Shit. When does this stop stinging exactly?"

"Shouldn't be long, a couple days maybe a week." Answers Paige falling into step with the two males.

"That's just what I need, avoiding showers for days."

"No one asked you to get it." Chided Paige off-handedly.

"You said a tattoo was a good idea!" Snaps Colt.

"And did you know that you can hang glide with an umbrella?" Quips the young girl.

Narrowing his hazel eyes at her, Colt points in any random direction. "Go home Paige. I'm through playing with you."

"Hey, she's my girlfriend and only I can tell her when to leave."

Taken aback, she asks. "Since when?"

"Since forever!" He grabs her hand. Giving the girl a quick kiss on the lips, he whispers in her ear. "Please just go, I don't want Colt riding me all day because of you."

Rolling her eyes, she throws her hands up into the air with exasperation then turns on her heals and leaves.

"Call me okay?" Shouts Tum.

"I will!"

The brunet could have sworn he heard her mumble a 'not' after that but he may just be imagining things.

...

"Have you seen my notebook- the electronic one?" He looks under the bed not finding it.

"I put it on the desk." Robbie points with his pen.

Popping his head up, looking over the bed sure enough its sitting there on the desk top. "Thanks." Walking over to the desk, Rocky snags the book then heads for the door.

"Hold on." Robbie sits up, pen going into his mouth as he speaks. "I have to ask you something."

"Real quick, I have to get to class."

"Long story short my uncle is getting remarried for what must be the 12th time, and my mother being dead in love with him wants me to be there."

Rocky waves his hand as if to say wrap it up.

"I wanna know if you'll come with me. Its in the middle of the week, you and I can be in Connecticut, at my house, chatting up the parents and relatives. It'll be fun." After a thought Robbie throws out. "And you'll have alone time with your son- which still sounds weird saying." He shakes his head.

"When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning around 8, can you cancel your classes?"

"Oh sure, what's one more week of missed assignments." He opens the door. "I'll think about it." Says the Douglas boy right before the door closes.

"Huh? That was kind of cut and dry." Figuring it to be his imagination, he returns to his school work.

Charlotte Reeves is known for many things. A. Her long, beautiful bouncy brown hair, B. Her long winded conversations, C. Her boyfriend, star pitcher for the baseball team The Robins, Darren Whitelaw and D. Which should be considered 'A', that of which is the girls need to gossip. She felt it was her duty to keep the world apprised of itself so long as there are things going on someone has to tell the masses what it is. She wouldn't say she's a snitch- far from it! No Charlotte considers herself more _informative_ than anything else. It was her mission to tell the Dean that certain students planned on getting high in his office on a night when a dance was being chaperoned by the mans attendance, her mission to tell her mother that her 16 year old sister had a 3 week long baby scare two months back and her job to let students know what other college mates were doing in their rooms or saying about other students when they thought no one was listening. So on a night when the dorm 2 Baxter House were sitting down for a college football game she choose to take a walk around the halls, ear in the outstretched position just incase some students chose to stray behind the group activity.

So far the night was dull at least until she got to the fourth floor where she heard the tell tale sounds of pleasure beyond the door of a room. But the thing was who was it. She only knew a few people in this hall but no one in this room. Maybe she could guess.

_Now let's see... Marcie sleeps room 2 with Eurika Berkly. Alessandro is in room 5 with Chester... Now across from them is Allan and Sissy. So then who... oh... whooo?_ That's when it hit her. She knows this room. Everyone came by to mock the boy when they found out he was the reason that Rocky left the school and was abducted last year. Robbie Ballerini. Trouble was, which boy was in the room doing the nasty? Pressing her ear closer she tries to catch more sounds of passion. It could be either boy. Rocky's voice is kind of nasal and soft, kind of like he yelled really loudly once and it blew out and never quite got its volacity back and Robbie, he's got a simple voice kind of like everything is a joke and he's being a smartass- she hates guys like that. The guy also has funny sounding vowels like his family might be French Canadian rather than just Canadian.

_"Faster."_

She heard Rocky's voice. Finally pay dirt! But whose the girl? _Those damn jock-heads, keep it down! They have no respect for a snoop._ Ear pressed closer to the door since the two have picked up and wouldn't hear a slight bumping against the door should her ear make contact a bit loudly, Charlotte hears a slue of moans, pants and groans pick up none of which sound female... infact they sound almost...

Her eyes widen to the point where they could fall from her head. It couldn't be? It just couldn't!

_"Ah! Rocky!"_

It is. _Rocky and Robbie are lovers... This is just too juicey._ She licks her lips with excitement hands rubbing vigorously.

2 hours earlier...

Rocky walks into the dorm building after his psychology class, head low as he's spent most of class thinking about what Dr. Maxim had said to him about having nurse's syndrome. _Do I see Robbie as a rock for myself? Minus that thing for Rakuta that was based on our gifts I've never been attracted to a male, and never will. So why Robbie?_

"Heeey Douglas!" Says Roger Jax. A brauny guy with a mushroom cut around his head. "Come watch the game with us. We've got popcorn and soda, I'll get you a seat on the bed so you don't have to take the floor."

Looking past the male into the dorm room two door down from his, he shakes his head. "Naah, I've gotta do a report and I really need to catch up with classes after that summer I took off."

"Suit yourself, heey goodnight man."

"Good night." He walks down the hall, shaking his head in dismay of hearing the lively males as though the door to the room weren't closed at all. "This place needs thicker walls." He says to no one as he pushes open the door to his room. He didn't have to look hard to find the brunet; Robbie's sitting on his bed legs at either side of the twin bed, schoolwork in front of him.

Glancing up from the opened door, he gives Rocky a smile from behind the pencil in his mouth then spitting it into his hand he says. "Hey, you have a good session with the doctor?"

"Yeah... He told me a lot of interesting things about what I might be feeling towards you."

Tossing his right leg over to the other side of the bed so that he's now sitting normally, Robbie asks. "You told him about us?"

"I felt like I had to tell someone and I have to tell you it felt really great. Getting it out there made it sound so... official."

"What?" He follows the other male with his eyes. "That we're part-time lovers?"

"No, about possibly being lovers for however long we can be together." He explains. "Until we decide its over. No timelimit, not a care in the world of who thinks its wrong..." Rocky is silent while dressing, when he comes from the closet, he walks over to his bed sitting down in front of the brunet. "Just us, focusing on us."

"And? What did he say?"

"He said we shouldn't care what other people think and we should just go for it."

"I like this man." Declares Robbie.

"Yeah well, _this man_ doesn't have to deal with the consequences of people coming down on him right before they toss him to the curb." He falls back onto the bed.

Twisting his mouth back and forth, Robbie kicks Rocky's foot lightly with his own. "Hey, you can't make everyone happy all the time. And even when you do make everyone happy someone loses out i.e. us."

"Yeah well, we can afford to be unhappy."

Blinking in shock, the Canadian stands reaching out taking the blond's night shirt in his hand pulling him to a stand as well. "Hey, don't talk like that." He wraps his arms around his boyfriend. "I can be unhappy, sure, but you... you need some happiness for a change. You have one shitty month after another, and its not fair."

Nuzzling his cheek against Robbie unrulely hair as he mutters. "Life isn't fair."

"No, its not but its full of chances to just get by because your happy. Rocky," He presses his forehead to the males. "You've been living your life loving people for so long you've forgotten what being loved really feels like and I wanna be the one to give that back to you, so let me. I'll be there for you no matter what happens in the end because at least we'll have each other if no one else."

Robbie presses his lips to the ninjas, a quick kiss with mouths closed before he parts his lips giving the male's bottom lip a little suckle as they continue. Rocky was the first to peek his tongue into the other males mouth to taste him; tilting his head to the side Robbie does the same. He prefers to let Rocky take the lead in any intimate thing they do, he doesn't want to force him even a little whether Rocky would have a flash back or not. Wrapping his arms around the brunet's back, Rocky presses their hips together. There was no mistaking the fact that the blond very much wanted him as a familiar lump presses into Robbie groin.

"Rocky can we-...?" His mouth is shut from contact with the blond's who in response nods.

They seemed to need a moment before they could pull apart but as soon as they were unhinged, Robbie searches the drawer for a condom and lubricant, making a bit of a mess as he shuffles his hands around for it. Snickering, eyes glancing at the frantic male while he undresses Rocky mumbles something Robbie couldn't understand; turning his head a glance he asks.

"What?"

"I said third drawer in the corner on the right." He kicks his pajama pants under the Canadian's bed.

"Found 'em." Announces the dark haired male, tossing them onto the bed beside Rocky, who sat down, he undresses quickly then pounces atop the blond making room for himself between his thighs.

The two let out a moan when Rocky's hips rock up against Robbie's when the ninja hooked his leg around Robbie's back. Raising his knee to the leg that meets the one elevated by Rocky the two grind their hiprs and groins together slowly to further erect themselves. Their kissing is almost a not really since they can't seem to stop the hisses, pants, and sighs from the friction building between them. Other leg around the brunet's back; Robbie grabs Rocky by the hips lifting him up to carry as he gets a better angle on the bed, instead laying down sideways they can have the full length of the bed. Snickering, Rocky fishes the avalanched items from under his back. Handing them to Robbie, the other male lays down beside the ninja opening the condom. Slipping it down over his index and middle finger, he applies an amount of lubricant over them coating it thuroughly. Watching attentively, Rocky straddles the male's torso then leans over kissing him once again, only now there's more fever behind it. Rocky tensed for a bit when he felt Robbie's left hand part his cheek, the right hand moving in from around the other before the slippery covered fingers slide into him. Robbie ceased movement from his fingers then waiting for Rocky to relax; enjoying the view of the ninja panting over him with his eyes closed, Robbie snapped out of it seeing a nod from the blond for him to go ahead with the stretching.

Mouths together again; Rocky's hips press back onto the intruding fingers enjoying the sensation of them sliding in and out of him so easily. Robbie left hand caresses lovingly along Rocky's spine sending vibrating waves of pleasure up and down the blond's back if he only knew how good it felt he would stop before he killed the ninja.

"Are you ready?" He whispers between kisses. He takes his fingers from the male when Rocky moans an 'uh huh'. Condom off, he opens the other slipping it over his amount careful to do it right. Once secured he pours the lube into his palm coating it over his member afterwards not missing a single area. Rocky whose been kissing Robbie on the neck while the brunet worked moves his hips back when Robbie's hands guide them down. It took a moment and with a bit of resistance Robbie was once again inside the Heaven that is Rocky that burned with the heat of any fiery underworld. Switching positions so that Rocky is on the bottom, Robbie pulled his hips back then thrust into Rocky with as much withhold as dog would seeing a Thanksgiving turkey sitting out on the table unsupervised.

Rocky cried out, spine arching as his hips dip for Robbie to thrust up into. Head tilted back, he barely registered Robbie kissing and sucking on his exposed throat until his gasp cut a little sharp from the brunet nipping into it. They moved together like a well oiled machine one rising while the other fell, it was beautiful. The football viewers in the background seemed to be egging them on with their shouts to the players in the tv.

_"Go! Go! Go!"_

"Faster." Rocky begged in a breath with quick comply.

The bed groaned beneath them wishing to not hold the weight of two people, muchless two people moving as they are. They both hold onto one another hard enough to leave imprints of fingernails in the other persons skin. Robbie pampered Rocky's chest, caressing the whole before tweaking the nipple between his fingers. Leaving trails of kisses from his neck to his collarbone, Robbie whirls his tongue around the protruded bud when his lips meet up with it. Hips never stop moving, only now they've really begun to dig in since Rocky has begun thrusting into his gripping hand. Robbie's lips fall upon the blond's tattoo that reads: The art of before written largely SIN underneath the tiny sentence. Rocky was supposed to get it removed but he kept forgetting.

_"Come on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah!!"_

Robbie hadn't even heard himself say the ninjas name before they both collapsed onto each other in release kissing slowly while catching their breaths, heavy breathing calming them to sleep. Its a shame it would all end in a week.


	4. Setting a date for disaster

Later that night.

Looking at the arm around his shoulders, Rocky then turns his gaze to the face of the owner of those arms. Protective, strong, soft arms that belong to Robbie. His Robbie. For one week. One, short, week he gets to feel this security and happiness and yet fear courses through him everytime they're alone like this.

_Why do I shake when we're alone? Why can't I let him touch me in private without feeling like I'm commiting sin? I care about Robbie, that's enough, and it should be enough for everyone else too; so what if he's a male like me. I don't feel like a woman because I'm with him or this. We're just two guys who care about each other in a strong way to show it both emotionally and physically. So then why can't I stop shaking when we're alone. Robbie touches me in public I don't feel anything but companionship and good buddy nature but when we're alone..._ He frowns when Robbie takes in a deep breath before snuggling him closer to his bare chest. _I can't stop feeling like I'm gonna lose myself... and like it. Should I just stamp the label: Gay on me? I know what it means to me but to everyone else it means well- everything else and it shouldn't. They won't take it well. Robbie was beaten up just for admitting he liked me; imagine what would happen if they found out I like him back. They'll think I'm currupted- that he made a mess out of me because I'm __**fragile**__._ He could feel himself making air-qoutes around the word. Rocky feels anything but fragile and he sure as hell isn't gonna let people call him a faerie or something else nonsensical.

Rocky's hands come up into Robbie's mess of a hair style to twist at the half-curls with his finger. _I just wish I didn't like it so much when you touch me, this would be easier to break off if you weren't affecting me this way._ He takes a brief whiff of the males slow rising chest. It doesn't smell like anything really, but there is a hint of his own scent on him from when he... Anyway, Rocky peeled Robbie's arms from around him then turned around so that his back is facing the other male. After a second thought, he turns back onto his other side; with a brief shove he pushes Robbie onto his back, straddling him once this is done. _He wants this from me... I know he does I can feel it everytime he kiss. To be on top would mean control... control... I do what I want._

Even now Rocky feels his heart beat picking up from the thought of taking the lead and giving rather receiving. The bundle in his chest comes alive with thoughts of what he would do to the male beneath him, how much pain he would cau-...

Shaking his head, Rocky removes himself from Robbie's hips resting back on his side of the, shoved together, twin beds. "Stop thinking like that Douglas," He whispers into the darkness around him. "you _don't_ wanna hurt him. He's _not_ Maria; there is no payback to be had for someone else's wrong doing." His dual colored eyes turn a gaze to the sleeping figure. He moves the blanket away revealing Robbie's naked body. _And yet... If I wanted to hurt him, he would let me._ His finger traces down Robbie's side to his hip.

Robbie's hand comes up to Rocky's face, cupping his cheek with it.

Not acknowledging the hand in the least, Rocky says in a flat-tone. "You would let me, wouldn't you?"

"..." Leaning the male down to him, Robbie places a gentle kiss to the blond's lips then moves him away and whispers. "Yes."

Eyes tearing, Rocky sniffles back a running nose before he let's himself cry.

The next day. Neither boy spoke to the other since last night. They showered, dressed, then went to thie classes. Rocky spoke a great deal during his P.I. class; they had a lab that day in an old storage hold set up to look like a crime scene. Rocky caught every obvious forensic item that a normal investigator would catch and all the ones that would go over looked, such as asking the labs to run a check on a bullet mark that hit the frame of the bathroom door. A ballistic would identify the gun model which will shorten the search process due to registery of the firearm. Granted the gun is registered. But when returning to the room he shared with his part-time lover, the most he offered him was a nod of a hello before he left for his next class. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Robbie its just that... after last night he kind of feels like he's going to do or say something wrong.

_Hn. What could be more wrong than wanting to hurt someone you care about?_ He thinks while keeping an ear open to the instructor. _He said 'Yes' to my unasked question. I didn't say it through my gift, it was just normal thinking and yet he answered me, like he knew what I was thinking on his own. How can he say something like that? Does he feel like he owes me? Does he feel guilty for what Maria did to me and thinks its only fair I take it out on him?_ He types into his electronic notebook when the instructor finishes her lecture. _I wouldn't actually do it, would I?_

A finger on his shoulder, tapping it caught his attention. Turning his head, he smiles kindly to a tan-toned girl name, Ellis he believes. He met her once in the cafeteria but they only spoke for a second because she was asking him about the homework having noticed him in her class. She's a pretty girl: dark brown hair with no highlights, curly yet, loose. Her big brown eyes are too cute for words the way she bats her lashes over them with that puppy dog look on her heart shaped face. Most guys don't notice her really because her breast are nothing special but she's fun to be around, and from what Rocky knew she has a boyfriend because someone picks her up from class every other day. They must be going out together.

"You wanna go out for pizza sometime with me?" She asks, her voice low so the teacher doesn't hear her.

_So much for my boyfriend theory._ Thinks the ninja. "With me?" He says playing dumb.

"No, the guy next to you." She rolls her eyes. "Of course you. It'll be fun." Nudging him with her elbow, she adds. "I haven't seen you really getting back out there since that whole thing last year and its kind of breaking my heart."

_Great, I'm a rescued puppy case._ Thinks Rocky. _Although, with her as my girlfriend it would keep people from thinking about the bigger picture of Robbie and me sneaking around like we do. It'd be nice to have someone once the end of the week comes. It will be lonely... if only a little._

"I can tell you're thinking about it." Ellis cuts into his thoughts. "Do you have an answer- I mean, there's no rush or anything." She shakes her head; ponytail swinging as she does this, waving her hand. "I was just asking."

"...C-... can you give me a week to think it over? I'm not sure I'm ready to date just yet."

"I don't blame you," Her hand comes down onto his shoulder compassionately. "I heard it was really scary."

_What, watching a screaming woman get dragged into a basement by a nutcase while a house burns down around you, no what could scary about that._ Thinks the Sin in him.

Rocky likes to seperate those thoughts from his own. He doesn't want to be a sarcastic bastard like Sin, or full or snark like Colt. Not that he wants his brother to change, he's used to him being that way and it isn't like he's always like that its just when he gets really excited over something.

"Thanks for understanding." Says Rocky then returning to his work.

Ellis seemed pleased with that and began her work as well.

"I know being accepted into college is the key thing here but part of me is wondering what would it hurt to take a year off." Says Colt's girlfriend Olivia, tapping her straw in and out of her McDonald's cup, the straw makes a _skrinking_ sound as its pulled up and down, before its lifted from the cup and dangled over the raven haird girls titled head to release the captured soda within.

Colt, who is listening to the girl, barely, taps his finger to the table hoping for the best result to come from what he's about to say. Clearing his throat, he looks the girl straight in the eye then says firmly. "Olivia."

"Hmm? What?" Setting her straw down she takes her boyfriends hand into her own, looking into his hazel eyes with passion. "What is it?"

"I think we should break up."

Colt had this planned from the get-go. Whomever he is with before his college days begin he would dump them so that he could be a free agent when the time comes and not be weighed down by his highschool days. So whether he cared for Olivia and her chatterbox, mainly skirt sporting ways, its over between them. Hopefully. And he got his answer, as his sweet girlfriend lifts her root beer soda from the table and tosses it into his face.

"You're a creep." She says before storming away.

"I still wanna be your friend too." Colt comments while whiping down his shirt with a handful of napkins.

This is just what he needs, to walk around with soda stains on his clothes. She couldn't drink _Sprite_ or _Seven-up_ like normal people. A girl a table away laughs at Colt, shaking her head in dismay. She may not have heard the conversation but she can guess what happened. A break up. Colt looked up at her, smiling into a laugh himself. It must look pretty funny actually.

"Bad day for a white t-shirt, huh?" He says to the girl.

"I'll say." She replies.

With a guester of his tilted head, he says. "Care to join me? Or do you prefer voueyorism?"

"No, the view is fine over here. But, since you look so pathetic." She says getting up, bringing her left over fries over with her. Taking a seat at the table, she holds out a hand. "I'm Maggie."

"Colt. My real name is Jeff, but I prefer Colt." Colt shakes her hand.

"Oh, nickname or are you just nuts?"

"Nickname, but I am nuts though." He laughs, smiling that Maggie laughed as well. "So how come I haven't seen you around before- you just move here?"

"Nope, lived here all my life. I go to the other school if that's what you're asking."

"Oh."

Looking at the door where the departed girl just left to, Maggie asks with a raised red eyebrow. "So, to sate my curiousity, did you and your friend just break up or was it a fight?"

"Depends on what you're asking."

"Come again?"

"Did we break up- I'd like to ask you out?" He indicated. "Or, did you break up, you're a cheating creep?"

"The former- wait, don't get me confused." She blushes a pretty shade of pink. "I was just wondering; I like to stay in the loop of life's little soap opera's."

"Oh. Well, we just broke up. No special reason behind it. I just thought we were going in different directions that's all."

Maggie nods. The two of them look at each other for a moment, almost lost for words until the girls watch beeps jarring them back to where they are. "Shoot, I got class. See you around Colt." She let his ninja name dangle like a set of house keys she's teasing him with.

"Class?" He questions. "Now?" But school's out for the summer how can she?

"Yeah, college class. Lit 103." She explains. "So long." Her red hair swayed across her back as she walks out of McDonald's.

"College." Colt grins to himself.

_I wonder why Rocky's been giving me the silent treatment._ Robbie comes up to the door of his dorm room. Sounds from the other end alert him to the ninja being on the other side. _Is he mad at me?_ He wonders turning the knob. _Hn._ Robbie smiles walking into the room, closing the door after himself. Sliding his laptop carryall from over his head he lays it onto his bed, keeping a glance at Rocky while doing so.

Rocky is busy packing his suitcase to leave with him later to Connecticut to see his parents and go to the wedding of his uncle. Robbie couldn't believe Rocky agreed to come with him. He'd expected laughter, a scoffed out 'no' at the most. But the ninja said he'd think about it and he agreed to come.

_Here's the problem with being bisexual._ Thinks Robbie retrieving his own suitcase. _The moment you do the gay part of it you find the cutest guy in the world and can't seem to control yourself from touching him. And its because of that straight people think gays are only after sex and the next hot ass that walks by. But what I don't get is why its ok for them to do it._ He drops the suitcase on the bed, unzipping it, pushing it open so he can pack his things. _Straight guys can't seem to be with one person for more than two days without turning their head to watch a cute female tail walk by; or worse groping them in public as if anyone really wants to watch that-... then again, older guys with a youth fetish might, people who like to watch the slightest bit of human contact will stare- quite frankly I would never make a public display of someone I love, its just ignorant._ Looking over at Rocky he smiles. _I hope I didn't do anything wrong, I can't remember if I did... He sure is cute when he's not talking, though, Rocky's pretty cute doing anything. Hmhm, I love the way he moves his lips without saying anything, kind of like he's talking to no one or sorting something out in his head but he can't seem to do that without moving his mouth. The way he laughs, is adorible; its so dry, but I know I can get something bigger from him if I work at it. After all I'm hillarious._

Robbie's dreamboat walked past to get to the bathroom but his journey was cut short by Robbie grabbing a hold of his wrist.

"Rocky?"

Rocky didn't say anything, he didn't attempt to snatch back his wrist, just lowered his eyes to the floor like something interesting were there.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I hurt you last night?"

"No."

"Than what's with the silent treatment?"

"Its not something you did... its something that I did?"

"_You_? What could you have done in such a short amount of time?" Robbie asks walking around to face the ninja. "Unless you tried to gut me in my sleep, I'm fine."

Rocky didn't meet Robbie's icey gaze, he kept his eyes lowered to the floor. "I feel like... I feel like I don't deserve to b with you."

"Why?"

"Last night I was thinking about us and... and you need to be with something that will make you happy and can love you like you want them to."

Taken aback, Robbie releases Rocky's wrist to take his hand. "How do I wanna be loved?" He asked with humor behind his voice. "Tender, hard?"

"Its not funny. You need someone that you can appreciate outloud, someone that can be appreciated outloud and I'm a tightwad and can't give you that."

Blinking, Robbie's lips wrinkle back and forth trying to hold back a laugh but it slips out anyway. "Ahahahaha!!"

Looking at him, Rocky frowns, brows knit together in anger. "What's so funny?"

"You really do worry about the smallest things. Its really cute." Says the Canadian. Wrapping his arms around the ninja's shoulders, he turns them so that Rocky is standing where he was and he is standing where Rocky was then walking toward him he backs the blond to the wall. Pressing his forehead to Rocky's, he rubs the other males back. "You wanna know how I'd appreciate you outloud?" He asks in a whisper. He can feel Rocky begin to tremble against him. "I'd make you laugh, I'd talk to you... I'd do all the things we do in privacy minus the making-out and touching you in naughty places and I love loving you like that. Rocky we don't have to hold hands or kiss in public to feel like a real couple, we just have to be together and that's more important to me than any make-out session with some girl I'm dating."

"But what if I hurt you... I mean physically. What if I damage your brain with my gift out of spite for your Aunt? What if I..." He trails off.

"What?"

"...What if you want me to be, you know, on top and I... end up raping you."

That he didn't expect. "Ro-... Rocky, it wouldn't matter." He says quietly.

"How can you say that?"

"Because I'm me and I know what I want... how much I can take... If you wanted to hurt me, or rape me than you're allowed to. I will let you."

"But why?"

"Because its you. I'd give you anything I could." He kisses Rocky chaste on his lips.

The air in the room grew so thick around them it was as if the world didn't exist, as if nothing and no one is alive but them, right there in that one spot they're standing at.

"If you want the shirt off my back," Robbie continues to whisper sweetly, he's caressing Rocky's neck and jawline with his finger tips. "a kidney... to hurt me. I will give it to you." He kisses him again. "Because its you."

Rocky's breath studders out when Robbie's kiss moves to his neck. "Its wrong to think like that."

"Maybe. But I don't think so... There are so many ways to love someone, this is my way of loving you."

Legs weak, Rocky leans into the male arms wrap tightly around Robbie's waist. If only he could live like this forever.

A loud knocking at the door seperated them as if a fire had brewed between their bodies threatening to burn them.

"I'll get it." Rocky says pacing over to the door. Turning the knob, he's a bit shocked to see Ellis standing there smiling at him. Smiling back, though, maybe not as strongly as the young woman, he says. "Yes?"

Robbie walks over to his bed, pretending to continue with his packing but he's actually looking out the door to see who came by. He's never seen this girl before but judging by the way she's looking at Rocky he can guess her intentions. He knows he shouldn't be jealous, but he can't help feel a tightening in his chest.

"Hi, I wanted to know if you wanted to get some pizza with me and some friends." Ellis asks, hardly keeping her cheeks down from smiling. "We're having Pizza Hut, but if you like Domino's or something else, I'm sure the guys'll go along with it."

"I can't. I mean, I'd like to but I can't." Rocky says half heartidly. "Robbie and me are kind of going on a trip; can I take a rain check though?"

Down trotten, she asks. "Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll be back in a week, we can hang out then." He offers.

Brightening again, she claps her hands. "Okay, great! A week. I can wait that long, and in the meantime can you think about what I said?"

"I will."

Giddy, she slaps him on the shoulder then peeks past him to Robbie waving a goodbye/hello to him before dashing off. Closing the door, Rocky shakes his head.

"I feel bad. I might be leading her on, I'm not sure if I wanna date at all really, and now Ellis comes along." He heads to the bathroom to snag his toothbrush like he planned to before. He went from feeling so great to feeling like a creep in two seconds flat.

"She certainly is hungry, isn't she?" Robbie comments. "I mean, when did she talk to you?"

"Just twenty minutes ago." He drops the brush into his bag then zips it up.

"Mmhmm. Hungry."

"And you're not?"

"I'm allowed to be we're dating."

"Not for long, then you'll go right back to sneaking kisses from me like you did before."

Offended though not really, Robbie turns around. "Hey, we both loved it when I snuck kisses from you. Otherwise we wouldn't be here today."

"Whatever." He laughs. "Is there anything I should know before we get there? Eye contact to avoid, words to say?"

"No, we're freaks. You should fit right in like one of the family."

"Thanks."

Robbie snickers to himself. Bag packed, he sighs in question. "What now?"

"Airport. I told Colt to tell Mom why I won't be here when he comes, I hope he remembered." Hoisting his suitcase from the bed, he walks to the door. "I've got everything, are you ready?"

"Yup. I'll call the cab on the way down." Turning off lights and closing doors and the window; Robbie follows the male out the door.


	5. Leaving the nest

A.N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you like the chapter this story is going to be very depressing in a while so enjoy the happiness while its there haha. Lighter.

...

Tum Tum sits on his bed watching his second brother pack for classes this semester. Tum Tum doesn't get the college thing. What's the point of having to choose when you take classes when you could just do four years of it like a normal session of school. Either way he knew that he wasn't going to be taking his classes at college right off the bat, he would wait a season and take the next one. But wait, wouldn't that make college last longer for him? His head hurts.

"What do think?" Asks Colt holding up the wooden guitar. He's been practicing with a lyrical guitar for ages and he's pretty damned good if he could say so himself.

"About what?"

"Should I bring it with me? I mean, if I start a rock band or something I'm not gonna be using it." Positioning the instrument against him, he strums a couple bars of a song he remembers the cords for.

"Maybe you should bring it to serenaide girls," Says Tum grinning like a goon. "You did say you were breaking up with Olivia, right?"

Ceasing his one man jam session, Colt nods. "I did and we are officially broken up." Setting the guitar down on the bed, he sighs. "I met someone else too, right off the bat. Her name is Maggie."

"Boy, you work fast."

"Hey, she came up to me." Colt corrects with a pointed finger. "And you know what the best part is?"

"She has a best friend that doesn't mind threesomes?"

Cocking a brow, Colt shakes his head. "No. She goes to college- and don't be so fresh. I don't want mom and dad thinking you got it from me."

"What difference does it make? In a week you'll be hours away from getting into trouble no matter what I blame on you." He dodges a swat to the head that Colt aimed his way. Snickering, he stands up backing away from his brother, finishing his sentence. "By the time they get there, they'll have forgotten what they were mad about."

"Even still." Going to the closet he weighs the option of a collar dark blue shirt to a pea green t-shirt. No contest. Tossing the t-shirt into his suitcase, he heads to the dresser for one last pair of jeans.

The blue ninja figured once he got to college he would shop for new clothes since what he planned on wearing he didn't want his parents to see anyway. Something mesh would be right up his ally since he got this new tattoo, he wanted girls to look through his shirt at his well built chest and his new found tag of freedom. He's gonna have to bat them off with a stick. Not that he plans on dating more than one girl until it doesn't pan out for either of them, but you know its still nice to know you're attractive.

"Where did Rocky say he was going again?" Asks Tum; remembering watching his oldest brother pack for college was well he feels a bit of the same old sadness creeping up on him.

They'll be reunited and he'll be left behind for a good year. Sometimes he really hates being the youngest, he wished Rocky or Colt had his problem but then again, maybe being older they have their own problems to deal with. Its too much to think about.

"Somewhere out of state with that creep Robbie." He answers automatically while inspecting dark jeans over light.

"Oh... that's weird."

"What is?"

Tum shrugs. "That Rocky would spend so much time with someone just because they're friends. He's never shown any special interest in his friends before."

Laughing, Colt says. "That's because Rocky barely keeps personal friends unless they know all of us."

Twisting his mouth in thought he says. "I guess your right."

Tum still thought it was strange, though, Rocky told him that he might... that he might be gay but was he serious? It didn't matter to him, he would love Rocky if he grew another head but what about everyone else? Colt gets on him when he leaves video's of popstars on the tv when the only reason its on at all is because he thinks the singer is a knock out. Tum doesn't even wanna think about what their parents will say. Rocky is on thin ice if he plans on getting away with 'switching teams', as they say.

Tum grunts when a pair of jeans smacks him in the face. "What the-...?!"

"Why do you look so serious? I'm not dying Tum, I'm going away to live at the school- which, trust me, I can't even believe I'm saying." Shaking his brother on the shoulder in a comforting way, he says. "I'll come by whenever I can."

"Thanks." After a second thought he says. "Hey, maybe you shouldn't be so mean to Robbie. I mean, he's Rocky's friend and Rocky really needs a friend when we're not around- not saying he's some needy case or anything but, you know, just give him space with the insults against him."

"I'll keep that in mind." Though it sounded sarcastic.

"Thanks. And thanks about the visiting thing."

He meant that but that wasn't what was on his mind. Rocky and Robbie are. How can he keep such a big secret if his parents find out where Rocky went. He's never been good at lying because he does some sort of thing that gives him away. Tum wishes to know what it is so he can try to prevent it from happening. But, if Rocky calls when he's supposed to maybe their parents won't find out he's gone at all. May his luck hold out.

"Hey Tum," Colt's voice has a certain tone to it; Tum Tum know what's coming next. "now that I'm gone and you'll be the only one in the house... you gonna try having your first time the minute mom and dad leave?"

Tilting his head in disbelief that his brother would say something like that, Tum Tum stands to leave. "You're sick."

Laughing, Colt calls out the door. "I may be sick, but you know you've thought about it."

The younger boy plugs his ears as he walks downstairs. He doesn't need that right now. Not when he really was thinking about it. An empty house, the knowledge that his remaining brother would not come home at some random time embarrassing him to no end if he caught him and Paige. Sure he thought about it, but that doesn't mean he's interested in DOING it anytime soon. What does Paige think about it? Is she too hard up for that type of emotion? Is he putting to much thought into it?

_I am thinking about it too hard- thanks a lot Colt. But Rocky and Colt have had sex before and they didn't stay with the people they had sex with. Not like I wanna break up with Paige or anything, but still... who knows how she would take it if we do, do it, and sometime along the line I'd break up with her- worse what if she breaks up with me? Will I latch onto her remembering that she was my first time?!_ He bites his fingernail wishing it were a piece of candy or a twizzler like he ate when he was younger. Those twisted, strawberry ropes really helped him think- and they were delicious but that went without saying. They've got all these new colors and flavors now. _Yeah, twizzlers are all right._ Thinks the boy.

Even at age 17 he's easy to distract with food.

...

"Which house is yours?" Asks Rocky walking down the sidewalk of Cyprus Lane in Connecticut.

The place is greener than he would have guessed, its also very beautiful. Rocky's never been out of state before- not to anywhere still in America anyway so this wasn't just a trip to some wedding or to see his unknown son, is like a mini adventure just like when he was younger and he and his brothers had all kinds of adventures over the summer. Aahhh youth. A rock stopping the wheel of his suitcase caught his attention back to where he is and what he's doing.

"None of 'em." Replies Robbie casually. "I don't even live on this street." He looks around at all the familiar things in this neighborhood.

Surprised by this, Rocky looks over his shoulder at the disppearing cab they took from the airport. "Then why did we get out so early?"

Smiling, Robbie moves his bag to his other side. Reaching out a hand, now that he has easier access, he takes Rocky's hand into his own. "So we could be alone for a while."

Bewildered by that statement, Rocky then blushed feeling the warmth of the Canadian's hand. He didn't even notice that the Connecticut air was so nippy until he felt a warm contact.

Mischief written all over Robbie's face, the male asks. "A blush I see, does that mean you wouldn't mind if I gave you a little kiss?"

Swinging his elbow out, though, keeping their hands linked, Rocky retorts to that comment by saying. "I thought we were supposed to be a secret?"

"Hey, that was L.A. no one knows us here- well, I should say no one knows you." He tilts his head to the darkening sky. "People know me, but let them see- I could use the scandal to boost my 'that boy ain't no good' ratings."

Rocky laughs, but shakes his head. "No, I'll pass. But, you could tell me something about Arc. You know right, he's lived with your family his whole life."

"Yeah, but when I left he was two" Robbie shrugs. "so far as I know, though, he really likes super hero's and _Frosted Flakes_. He spent his first full sentence stuck on that stupid phrase, "They're grrrrreat", we didn't know whether to laugh or scream because we were tired of hearing it. In the end we laughed because that kid had some kind of timing for when to say it." He snickers.

Chuckling, Rocky thinks that information over. _Super hero's and flakes. Got it._ Looking at Robbie, then turning away when seeing the red tint coloring the males nose from the nip in the autumn air.

Robbie can be really adorible when he wants to be. Rocky would never tell him that, though, its one thing to like the guy and think they're great- all around the best thing that's ever happened to you, but its another thing all together to be attracted to a man. He isn't gay and he can swear on it. Though, with the way his heart picked up its hard to tell whether his heart is lying to his head or his head is lying to his heart.

"What else, what else?" Robbie's voice snaps Rocky from his musings. "He's a screamer- but hopefully he grew out of it... Hmm, loves the water... afraid of cats- guess he doesn't trust them or something. And he'll pretty much eat anything you put in front of him."

"He sounds easy to get along with."

"He is- and you are so you two should fit together like a hand in a glove."

"I hope so." He begins to think up greetings for when he meets the boy.

Letting go of Rocky's hand he points. "There's my house!" Huge grin breaking out on his face, he takes a few steps past the blond. "Come on, the lights are still on so my parents should be up to let us in."

Rocky heard him, but he was too busy looking at his empty hand and feeling just as abandoned, suddenly, without the brunets warmth there. _Crap... I think I am falling in love with him._ He stops walking all together as those words wash over him. _What have I gotten myself into? Sex is emotional, yet, it can be meaningless... but emotional is... is everything._

Seeing that there was no extra set of foot steps behind him, Robbie doubles back, snatching Rocky's hand up to drag him three houses down. "I said _come on_, not daydream about me. You wanna get eaten by the seasonal bugs or something?"

Snickering, Rocky firmed his grip on the males hand speeding up his pace to catch up so he isn't being pulled. So he's falling, so what, maybe he's wrong to feel afraid by it. By what the world thinks about him and how he experiences his happiness from whom and what. Its no one's business but his own, after all.

...

"Well for goodness sake, you're turning red in the face." Says Robbie's mother the moment she opens the door getting a load of her son. "I thought you were taking a cab here, you looked like you walked."

Taking the verbal abuse with a smile, though, looking quiet assalted when the woman pulled him to her for kisses and hugs, Robbie manages to pull away long enough to say. "Mom, Mom please... we have guest."

"Where?"

Rocky, who was quite happy just watching the mother and child treat each other like football players during a game, he came from around the door frame with a wave. "Hello, Mrs. Ballerini."

The woman blinked her brown eyes as if she were seeing things, she grew very quiet.

"Mom," Robbie says, arm around the silent struck woman. "this is my boyfriend, Samuel 'Rocky' Douglas."

Both Robbie's mother and Rocky were floored hearing that. How could he say something like that!? Was he insane?

Grinning with mischief, the male continues to say. "He was the first guy I met at college and he's been my best guy friend since." He said as if to correct his term used before.

"Oh," says his mother, hand to her chest. "you meant male-" smacking her son on the shoulder she says. "Stop being fresh." Attention on Rocky now, she says. "He's been like that since he was seven. "Mom what's a peepee look like-... because I think I did it on the bathroom floor"."

Rocky chuckled at that.

"Come on in, you're letting the warm out." She ushers her son and his guest in. "Your father is gonna die when he sees you. You know you treat us like we don't exist now that you're at your fancy college. I'll bet Sam sees his mother before she starts to feel abandoned- don't you Samuel?"

"I try. But I do call every other weekend."

"Such a good boy." She opens the frige. "You want something to drink or eat- have you eaten Ivan?"

Robbie winced at his first name. "No, we haven't eaten yet. But I don't want you to worry about that we can get something to eat at some joint that's open late."

"'Some joint open late'" She mocks. "How long will you be staying, Sam? Are you visiting relatives?"

Rocky shakes his head.

"No, Mom, he's coming to the wedding." Robbie makes a face at the woman. "That's why I invited him, he's my plus one."

"Well forgive me, I thought you were gonna bring a nice girl you met at school. You've decided to bring a male friend."

Rocky felt really uncomfortable. He didn't know Robbie didn't tell his mother about him being his date to the wedding. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"But whatever my son wants." Pinching his face between her hand, she gives it a shake.

"Thanks." He smiles. "By the way, my mom's name is Edith."

Rocky nods.

"And my Dad is Iggy- don't ask."

"Well, your room is as it was, Sam will you be staying the night or getting a hotel?" Asks Edith.

Rocky shrugged. This was all getting a little too strange for him.

"Mom, come on he's staying here. He can sleep with me." Robbie glances at Rocky causing the blond to blush.

"If he'll be comfortable on a fold out?" The woman looks at him with question.

"No, its fine."

Tossing her plump arms in the air, she declares. "Its settled then. Welcome to the house, Ivan sweetie can I talk with you a moment." Her hands scratch her light brownish orange hair. "Make yourself at home; Ivan's room is the second door left up the stairs."

"Thank you." Leaving them alone, Rocky heads upstairs in the strange home.

Its beyond weird being in another person's house without the person that invited you around. Like at any moment someone will pop out of a room and scream BOO sending you toppling head over heels down the stairs. Rocky can hear heavy breathing coming from the first room he passes. Its light though, feminine. He wondered if it were Corin's room. Arc is four it could easily be his little breaths he's hearing. Temptation was killing him, but he couldn't peek it would be rude if it were the wrong room. He's never dealt with living with girls before, and he isn't about to get off on the wrong foot either.

"Second door..." He whispers as he reaches it. Turning the knob, he opens the door then walks inside.

Robbie's room is very warm and cozy, filled with things that the male either worships with his very being or likes at the moment. Bands on the walls, a jersey from a sports team he was on in High school because Robbie surely isn;t playing any sports at college. The bed is a queen size, covered with hockey sticks and pucks which gave away the sport the jersey belongs too. Setting his bag down on the floor, he takes off the light jacket he wore and draped it over the chair at the desk. Sneakers off, he sits on the bed glancing at the alarm clock. 12:18 a.m. He didn't even feel tired. Quickly he changes into his pajamas so that Robbie doesn't ambush him upon return should he be half dressed. And feeling the effects of being in a foreign place, he'd latch onto Robbie and let him do as he pleased. Speaking of said male the sound of foot steps approach the door. Rocky sits on the bed watching as it opens.

"Good, your dressed." Robbie says stripping off his shirt. Crossing the room he grabs a pair of pajamas from the dresser. Taking off his street clothes he slips into the nightware then crosses the room to the bed. Falling onto it, he lets out a relaxed sigh. "You don't really want me to lug that fold out in here do you?" He scratches Rocky's spine lightly through the shirt.

Shaking his head, Rocky removes Robbie's hand then scoots to the headboard. "What did your mother wanna talk to you about?"

Robbie was oddly silent for a second before he smiled and said. "Nothing."

"I saw you frown for a second, she must have said something important that she didn't want me to hear and I wanna know what it was."

Sighing, Robbie rubs his eyes in defeat- frustrated defeat. Sitting up, he talks over his shoulder. "She wanted to know what _I_- a relative of my insane aunt, is doing being friends with you- victim of my aunt. She thinks that I'm asking for nothing but trouble. Tch, wait until she finds out we're dating, she'll _really_ flip."

Rocky lowered his gaze to the blanket. "Oh."

"Aaaww, Rock'," climbing to the top of the bed he wraps an arm around the saddened male. "She doesn't dislike you or anything, its just uncomfortable being around someone your sister tormented- she feels guilty. The family should have watched my aunt a lot better than we did. If we had you could have been ok."

"But why should she feel guilty over that? She didn't do anything and if anyone should feel guilty it should be me... I got Maria killed in a fire. True, she was a complete monster and needed to be jailed for what she did to me and all the others but I never want for anyone to lose their life."

Robbie presses Rocky's head onto his shoulder, and he caressed his lovers blond hair. "No my aunt was evil and what happened to her was punishment that she had coming to her. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything."

Rocky supposed that was true. And really it was that boy who dragged her back down into the bombshelter she used as a prison.

"You're right. But you should tell your mother not to feel guilty or weird around me. It isn't her fault."

"Will do." Scooting his butt down a bit he lays on the bed, pulling Rocky into a lay beside him. "You sleep now, we're gonna need it for when the rest of the family shows up. We're loud, we touch people and don't care, and I should warn you if you don't learn how to eat like you're starving to death you'll never get a thing in your mouth."

Laughing, Rocky snuggles into the male. "Sounds great. I've never been bombarded during a meal."

"Oh then you'll love it." He snickers then presses his lips to Rocky's cheek. "Goodnight, frostbite."

"Oh really funny. Goodnight freak." He pinched Robbie's groin to show him what he meant.

"Hey, don't go to the place unless we're gonna do something."

Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, he replies. "Alright, alright. Goodnight, Rob'."

Snuggling into the blond he hums an "Mmhmm." Before closing his eyes waiting for sleep to take over.

Rocky only hoped he could get to sleep. Its a long way away from morning.

During the night; anytime Rocky would figit Robbie would tighten his grip around him, his uncrushed arm allowing his hand to automatically stroke the blond's hair as he slept. Rocky didn't mind, he held him tighter as well, his head resting against the Canadian's chest. He just hoped that no one walked in on them, it'd be kind of hard to explain the fact that the two of them are holding onto each other and in the same bed by accident when Mrs. Ballerini clearly offered a fold-out for him to sleep on. Tomorrow. He will definitely use it tomorrow, but for right now he wants to be held like this. Rocky felt strange vibes coming at him here and there in the home. Its cozy, but almost too cozy to be comfortable in, if that made any sense at all. Maybe its just his nerves.

_He said he'd do anything for me, because its me... please don't turn out to be crazy Robbie. I... feel like I need you._ A small smile formed on his lips admitting that to himself, and with that thought out of his head, he places a chaste kiss the males chest then closes his eyes drifting


	6. On the outside looking in

Rocky wondered if he was becoming an insomniac. He can't sleep and its not even close to morning yet. It could be the side of the bed he's on, or the fact that he's in a strange home that he just can't seem to keep his lids closed. Robbie, however, is sleeping like its a drunken hangover. Finally tired of sitting around waiting for sleep that isn't coming to wash over him, Rocky sneaks out of bed and grabs his computer carrier pulling out his electronic notebook. He'd like to get some work done but he's unsure of the density of the walls in the Ballerini home. What if his rapid, and he's often told hard and loud, typing wakes the family. That'd be a really bad introduction to the rest of the family- bad enough he's dating their son now he won't let them get sleep because he can't.

_Better take it downstairs._ The sleepless male decides.

Slipping out of the room, he looks up then down the hall. There's a night-light plugged into the socket in the center of the wall illuminating the hall. That must mean Arc is potty trained. Rocky wondered for a moment if it would be alright to crack doors until he locates the sleeping child but he didn't wanna risk it, plus Robbie has a female cousin and a girl's room is sacred when it comes to un-announced entry. Down the hall he goes reaching the stairs he decends them then travels into the kitchen; that should be far enough away from the family so he won't disturb them. Flipping up the computer screen he opens his documents to the draft of a novel he's been working on. Rocky loves creative writing and considered it his throw away course at school but truthfully he would like to be a novelist. Someone that people would adore because he'd really make them think with his mystery novels and let's face it he should be a master of the subject with all the new twist and mysteries he's finding out about in his own life. He often wondered if he should make his life into a story, he wouldn't read it but someone might.

The main character of the story's name is Jordan Montanna and the mystery is the room he falls into under his home where he finds a body, but not just a body a strange man he's never met has been living under his home. Rocky has been typing this story for a year and a half until last years end and this years start when his own batch of problems began. Jordan is 16, B average student going on a C since failing a test- he'd been over hearing Colt get yelled at by their Dad that day when he typed it in and he lives in Seattle with only his mother Leslie after a bad divorce. Jordan is also a blond like his own hair color, and is 5'9". The most noticable thing about the main character is his being in the band playing the trumpet. The last scene he's typed out was Jordan riding his bike to the store for some pet food for his goldfish 'Lady Tangerine'.

"Let's see." Rocky's voice is quiet as the mood of a dark and sleeping house calls for it.

Fingers in the correct placement he begins to rapidly fill the empty space of the document with words that are filing out of his head. Going back a word he corrects his spelling then continues on. Progress was steady for him so much so he didn't even realize that daylight was beginning to shine through the home until he saved his draft with Jordan coming home from school and finding the door unlocked and a plate, once covered with food, now sitting in the sink when his mother works until 5:00. Letting out a satisfied sigh, he stretches his arms over his head to get out the cramps of his sitting position. He wouldn't say good posture is the best for typing very long but he can't help it. Like Colt said he may have been born with a rod up his back. But better that than a granny's hump. While closing the screen he wonders why oldmen don't get a hump- must be a woman thing. Scooting the chair back, he leans forward resting his forehead on the wooden table top.

_That's right Rocky, fall asleep now that its morning._ Eyes closing, he sighs as sleep waves begin to cloud his mind. _Better than sleeping at night when no one is awake to watch out for you- hn, you'd agree with me wouldn't you Sin, poor kid couldn't catch a break.  
_

A man-made sound resembling a motorboat sounds through the hallway downstairs; the pitter patter of little feet pad quickly along the polished floor. A ninja instinctively turns his head at any sound whether it be a threat or not and he watched, head still resting on the table, as a young child twirls circles in the living room a toy boat in his hand- he being the cause of the noises. Normally, Rocky would have straightened himself and greeted the person but this isn't just any person... this is... Him. Arc. His- Rocky Douglas' son. He never would have thought a title like Dad or Daddy- father would ever come his way. Not that he didn't think he would never settle down, he is after all raised right. But a child made without love is strange to think about. Will Arc love him some day, will he have to marry just to find a mother for the boy- no he didn't suppose he had to because in this day and age people are raising their children as single parents all the time. So there's no reason why he can't. But what if things progress with Robbie, then what? Too many thoughts and feelings.

_Uh-oh. He sees me. Now what?_ Sitting up, he awaits the encounter.

The young boy about 2'9", its hard to tell with kids heights, his hair bright blond just like the boy's mother although Maria's true hair color is brown so whose to say that Arc doesn't get his hair color from his grandmother. Even from the distance he can see the boys piercing blue eyes the Balsam family trait as both Maria and his boyfriend have the eyes. Arc's chubby cheeks resemble his own from when he was a kid, and his cock of the head from curiousity also from him. He looked like a lost animal staring at the stranger in his aunt and uncle's kitchen. Their eyes are locked as they wonder who will make the first move; to the ninjas' surprise Arc snags up a handful of his pajama shirt slipping it into his mouth and he chews on it gingerly. That proved it if nothing else that this boy is his son. When Rocky ws a child he had a nervous habit of chewing on his shirts completely ruining them it took him a while to grow out of it but when he did he never looked back on those nerbous days becoming the solid level-headed male that he is now. He hoped that Arc could overcome his nerves as well.

Cautiously the young boy moves forward into the kitchen, right up beside Rocky, where he can get a better look. They must have stared at each other for minutes before Rocky took a hold of the shirt and tugged it free from the boys mouth wiping a bit of saliva, that pooled at the corner, with his thumb causing a smile to spread across the boy's mouth.

Twisting from left to right, the young boy asks. "Are you my cousin too?"

Unable to find his voice, he shakes his head.

Hands on Rocky's thigh, Arc leans up into his face then asks. "Then who are you? A bad guy?"

Chuckling a bit, Rocky again shaks his head. "N-.. No, I'm not a bad guy. I'm a friend of your cousin Robbie," shaking his head to correct his words he says. "Ivan." He has to remember that Robbie's family calls him by his first name rather than his preferred middle.

That took the suspect from the boys eyes, which brightened with glee. "Cousin Ivan's home?" He asks sliding into one of the empty seats.

"Yeah, he's upstairs sleeping- like little guys like you should be." Rocky repremanded. "How come you're awake so early? Aren't you tired?"

"No I always get up early so I can play bounce on the couch." Cupping his mouth with both hands he whispers. "Auntie Di' doesn't like it when I jump on the cushies."

"Ohhh." Rocky smiles. _A trouble maker._ He should have known that's how his kid would turn out. His kid. It still seems so strange. Could he really tell the boy who he is to him or will he leave it alone and just become his friend.

Arc begins to swing his little legs beneath the chair, his arms bent on the table resting so a finger has a perfect angle up his nose. If he put it in his mouth that would be it for Rocky's appetite. So he came up with a better solution. Taking the boy's hand down from his face to remove said finger, he says with a saleman's smile.

"How's about I make you breakfast. We can eat together and talk- man to man."

"Can you make pancakes?!" He was so elated at the thought he nearly fell from his seat popping up so fast.

"Yeah, I can make that. Will you help me?"

"Okay." Sliding from his seat, he rushes into a closet in the kitchen that's actually a pantry and grunts and strains while reaching for a box of mix.

"I'll take care of that," says Rocky picking the 4 year old up from the floor placing him carefully atop the counter. "Don't move okay, I don't want you to fall. I'll get the things together and you instruct on how to make them."

With a thumbs up from the child Rocky got the mix from the pantry, butter from the fridge and some raspberries he spotted from the back. A pointed finger to where the pans are located and breakfast was underway.

"And then we plate it." Rocky lowers the last pancake onto the boys plate. "How did they turn out junior chef?"

"That's a pancake?" Asks the boy cocking a brow at the food. "Aunt Di' makes mini squares."

"Squares? Okay." Looking about the kitchen for the knives, Rocky finds them in the third drawer by the fridge. Setting the knife onto the counter top he grabs a hold of the young boy by his underarms setting him down on the floor. "You wait at the table and I'll bring them over, alright?"

"Uh huh." Arc gives a hard nod then heads for the table.

"Do you like syrup?" Rocky asks, flipping another set of pancakes over on the pan. Once done doing that he paces towards the pantry for the syrup.

"I like it, uh huh, I have mine its strawberry."

Rocky locates the strawberry syrup then brings it over to the counter to cover Arc's soon to be sliced cakes. Cutting them with care Rocky wouldn't have noticed Robbie coming in if Arc didn't announce him with an excited whail.

"Ivan!!" He claps his hands then gives his cousin a thumbs up.

Smiling at the boy, Robbie gives him a thumbs up as well. "Heeey buddy, are you gonna do good in school when you go?" He asks casually while continuing over to Rocky at the stove.

"Yup. I practice every time. Wanna hear the alphabets?"

"Sure go for it."

Sucking in a lung full of air, the young boy starts to sing. "A-B-She-D-E-F-Gee-Ach-I-J-K-N,N,N-O-P-..."

Rocky kept his laughter down hearing the boys take on the alphabet. It really does sound like a slue of N's when people say it to you quickly rather than slowing it down. He tenses a moment when Robbie's arms wrap around him and said male plants a kiss on his cheek. Shrugging him off, Rocky gives his part-time boyfriend a warning glance to cool it infront of the kid.

"He's in his own world, he always gets stuck on X thinking he said S over and then he starts over from there." Robbie says as he watches Rocky cut into the 4 year olds breakfast then dump syrup on it once done. "Mmm. Strawberry." He pokes a finger in it sucking it off, repeating the process he offers the finger to Rocky who gives it a quick lick and suck right before shoving the mischievous male away. He acted as though he loved putting Rocky in awkward situations- kind of like a game to see where he could get him to be open about their relationship in public. "Good right?"

Nodding, Rocky says in mock anger. "You're pushing your luck Ballerini."

Hands up in defense he then grabs the plate backing away. "Here you are Arc."

"Thank you mister." Says the boy picking up a pancake square with his fingers.

"You're welcome," A thought dawned on him. "And you can call me Rocky."

"Like that Power Ranger?" He asks over a mouthful.

"Yeah, like the Power Ranger."

"That's cooooool!! My name is Arc Elias Balsam and I'm 4 years old. I live at-..."

Giving the boy a kiss on the head, Robbie says to the boy. "Leave it at the name unless you're in trouble remember?"

"Uh huh." Arc pops another pancake into his mouth.

Taking one from the boys plate, Robbie really looks at his cousin. He never would have noticed without meeting Rocky but his cousin and the ninja do look frighteningly similar. Its one thing to say someone is your son but to actually see it with your own eyes is mind-blowing! How could his Aunt be such a bad person as to rape Rocky and keep the kid. Its disgusting and wrong but at the same time he can't be mad that he got an adorible little cousin out of it.

"You want some? I'm making raspberry."

"If you don't mind."

Shaking his head, he holds out a plate to his boyfriend. "Naah, here you are." He turns the stove down. "When do your parents usually get up?"

"Don't worry about them, they'll stagger to life someday. Come eat with us."

Rocky twists his mouth in thought then nods. "If you're sure."

Turning the stove off, he takes the remaining cakes then walks over to the kitchen table to join his lover and son. If Rocky were on the outside looking in he would be sickened at the scene in some sense. An unknown father and his child, the boys cousin as his boyfriend its sick and weird. But on the inside it feels nice and warm, and somehow right. Rocky couldn't help notice that Arc's middle name is the same as his own and that bothered him a bit knowing why but at the same time he couldn't be mad. It would be rude to penalize the boy for something he couldn't help- which was being born by a sick woman for a sick reason. Rocky couldn't help but think for a moment that if the woman were alive today he honestly would want to hurt her and the thought of that scared him more than a little.

"Wanna go to the park today?" Robbie asks.

"Okay."

Arc was in his own little world as he ate.

"Arc? You wanna come buddy?"

Looking up, he nods. "Uh huh."

"Forgive him, he's never had pancakes with fruit in it."

"Its okay." Rocky snickers. All that quiet concentration just to eat reminds him of his little brother. Tum calls it being in the zone.

Breakfast went along so great with the three of them it seemed like the perfect moment and with perfection things tended to ruin themselves to dispel the notion that anything can be perfect. The cause of the rip in perfect happiness is from a pair of brown blue eyes open them in the living room. Corin watched Rocky and her cousin enjoying breakfast and each others company. The girl has never seen Rocky before but she's heard so much about him from her mother she was almost upset at herself for thinking her rival is somewhat cute. When Corin was growing up her mother was forced to write the family letters when she was placed in the institute where her aunts and uncles consists of kind things and nothing much else to say interesting hers consisted of comparing her to Rocky who was proclaimed to be a psychic like herself, her mother also adored Robbie because he has a bit of gift himself. To her mother, being a mentalist was everything because it was all she knew growing up and no one understood her pains so it was her goal to gather all of them so they could live in a world where no one would treat them differently. It was a cruel and hurtful dream because it isolated her own family from her love and she liked it that way because to her it probably gave them a chance to see just how she's felt her whole life. So Corin couldn't allow herself to be angry at Rocky or Robbie she just wanted things to be normal now that her mother has passed. But there was one thing she still had to do in order to ease her own sorrows and pains. Something she wants to give to her mother.

Putting on a bright smile, Corin walks into the kitchen her pink night gown swirling about her legs. "Good morning Ivan, Arc..." Looking surprised for show she says. "I didn't know we had company. Who are you?"

Rocky could have died from fear right then and there as standing before him is his abductor, his tormentor. Maria. Her blonde hair and blue eyes drill holes in him as he stares back barely able to shake from the fear that's coursing through him. Its as if his body is saying be afraid but at the same time don't move or she'll kill you.

"Don't you know? This is Sam Douglas." Says Robbie. "He said you've been trying to contact him for ages, so don't play dumb Cori'." He winks at the girl to show he's teasing her. "Rocky this is-..." He looks at him, confusion in his eyes at the sight of his lovers horrified gaze. "What's the mat-.." His outstretched hand touched Rocky's shoulder.

That was all the ninja needed before he tore himself away from the table. "S- stay away from me!" He shouts with fear and anger in his tone. "Robbie don't let her get near me!!" He lowers himself to the floor, hands over his ears. Rocky curled in on himself as if to hide away in his own body.

"Wha-... what did I do?" Asks Corin surprised by Rocky's reaction.

Robbie shrugs while getting up from the table and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend who jumped at first but then wrapped his arms around Robbie when he realzed whom it was. He was whispering in the faintest tone for Robbie to keep her away from him.

"I will. I will. Come on, we'll go upstairs and rest for a bit, you look tired." Robbie looks at Corin pleading with his eyes that she make herself scarse until they're gone.

Nodding, the confused girl exits the kitchen heading for the downstairs bathroom. Arc had started crying from all the commotion, but was easily hushed by Robbie's soothing words to him that everything was alright. Upstairs Robbie closes the door, then sits down on the bed next to Rocky who is still steadying his nerves.

"What happened?" Asks the Canadian.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like that. Its just that Corin looks exactly like Maria."

Confused further, Robbie shakes his head. "That's not possible, my aunt and cousin couldn't look less alike if they tried. She takes after her father."

Rocky shakes his head. "All this time, all this time she was using her own daughter as a doll to torment me. If she had been caught..." He trails off.

"I don't understand, what do you mean used her as a doll. Corin's never met you."

"Robbie, your aunt was a powerful psychic she could do anything within her power so laying a face over someone's mind would be no problem."

"Huh?"

"Its in the brain, its like magic. If you know a trick well enough your eyes won't be fooled by it. But if you've never seen it than to you a card could disappear and reappear in and out of thin air. And with that technique she made herself look like her daughter- she used her like a doll. If I described my attacker to a sketch artist and cop they'd pick up Corin thinking that she's Maria, and when she goes to a jail her mother is still free to come after me as she sees fit whether Corin's ever met me or not, if I'm saying that she's the one how can they not believe me- especially when Colt and Tum tum saw her too."

Taking that all in Robbie sighs in frustration. "That's so sick." Hugging Rocky, he caresses the males back. "I'm sorry she did those things to you. But you don't have to fear Corin, she's nothing like my aunt and she has a boyfriend who she's very in to." He snickers, cheek nuzzling Rocky's.

The blond smiled faintly. "It just took me by surprise... I'm alright though." He removes himself from the hug. "I think I scared Arc though." He felt ashamed.

"Don't worry about him, he's a tough kid. He won't be down for too long."

"That's good."

"Wanna go down for breakfast?"

Shaking his head, he stands. "No. Can I take a shower, though?"

"My home is your home, go right ahead."

"Thanks." He leans over giving the male a kiss on the lips. "I don't deserve you."

Robbie only laughed at that. Rocky couldn't be more wrong. As he watched the blond leave he wonders momentarily what to do about Corin. Does she still wanna talk to Rocky and what about?


	7. Setting up the perfect situation

A.N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it means a lot to me to know what you think. I'm sorry it took so long to update but my computer has been down forever. Thank you so much for being patient and if you sent me an e-mail I'm sorry I didn't get it because has my old e-mail attached to it and I don't have that account and they refuse to take my new one.

..........

Rocky finished dressing after the comforting, though, maybe a bit too hot to bathe without getting scolded, shower. Searching the bathroom he located some scrubbing bubbles and a sponge to clean the tub, once he had everything situated the ninja exits the bathroom and on steadier nerves he walks back downstairs into the kitchen.

"Well, good morning." Says Robbie's mother.

"Good morning." Seeing his lover's father he walks closer to him holding out his hand. "Hi, I'm Samuel Douglas your son's friend."

"He's Ivan's _plus one_ at the wedding." Explains Edith sipping her coffee.

"Nice to meet you son." The man says kindly with a firm hand shake.

"Same here."

"Would you like some breakfast?" The woman gets up from the table.

Hand waving away the offer, Rocky replies. "I've eaten already, thanks."

"So polite, it's different but I don't hate it." She sits.

"Scaredy cat made me breakfast." Says Arc dancing a teddy bear on the table.

"Scaredy cat?" Rocky questions.

"Because when you saw my sister you screamed like a scaredy cat? Did she startle you? I cried once when I was startled but that was when I was a baby."

Brows arched in mock anger, Rocky replies. "Yes, she startled me- that's all." He smiled and pulled the girl, that is standing at the table ready to take off should her presence aggitate the male again, over to him into a one-armed hug. "See. We're friends."

Corin blushed fiercely at the close proximity of the, undenyingly, handsome male didn't help that she can smell the shower he took on him giving him a peachy scent.

Arc looked them over suspiciously then said. "Okay. I'm glad, my sister is nice."

Looking Corin in her startling blue eyes, Rocky says. "Yes she is; so no more scaredy cat?"

This took Arc longer to think over then he answered. "Okay." Getting up from the table he enters the living room laughing at the cartoon left on the television before even seeing what it was.

Releasing the girl as though she were a lamp he was considering buying but changed his mind, Rocky laughed a bit. "Kids can be so cruel."

Edith nods. "He has a personality that one, but he's a good kid." Curious the woman asks. "What's this about Corin scaring you, though?"

"Uh, well... you see..." Rocky's glance caught sight of Robbie at the backdoor window waving him over. "Excuse me." He says exiting the kitchen. Once outside he looks around until he hears a 'pssst' to his right, heading the way a pair of arms come around his neck and warm lips are planted on the back of his neck.

"Help me wash clothes?" Robbie asks while, from behind, leading Rocky to the small shed that holds the washer and dryer.

"Alright."

"I got your clothes from the bathroom, don't worry." He assured his lover incase he was wondering.

Rocky had been wondering where the male had gone off to having not seen him in the living room or kitchen; feeling another quick smooch on the back of his neck he snickers pulling himself away. "Cut it out, do you wanna get caught or something?"

"Yyyes. Let them catch us, Rocky I garuantee that my family doesn't give a flying fuck about me and what I do," Pulling open the door he steps inside the home-detached laundry room. "or with who." Opening the washer he unloads the machine setting the wet clothes atop the dryer to clear the washing machine.

Watching him a moment, Rocky opens the dryer pulling out the freshly dried clothes holding them securely in his arms while giving Robbie space to toss the wet clothes into the dryer. Once the space is cleared Rocky sets the dry clothes on the dryer then begins folding them while Robbie loads the washer with the dirty laundry he retreaved from the bathroom and bedrooms it would seem because when Rocky left his clothes in the hamper they were the only ones inside.

"You just relax here and don't worry about what anything thinks of you."

"Arc called me a scaredy cat." Rocky whined a little. "I've gone from nice stranger to chicken in twenty minutes, that's gotta be some kind of screw up record."

Chuckling, Robbie shakes his head. "Lesson one about children, they're quick to call names and place labels on things but that's only because they're young and are still trying to figure the world out, ya know what I mean?"

"Mhm." Handing Robbie a box of _Tide_ laundry powder that he's pulled down from the shelf just in his reach, he then starts up the dryer. Cocking his head, he just notices that he doesn't have on a coat and yet he's warm. Looking around the room he spots a small box with glowing red bars across the top. "Oh cool, a portable heater. I didn't know they made those."

Not looking at what he knows the male is talking about, Robbie says. "Yeah. Its a little hot in here though, it feels like my back is frying."

Frowning he says teasingly. "Nice try, take your shirt off and I'm out of here."

That got an honest laugh out of the male. "Oh 'cause you're so worth hitting on every second. If anything, you should be constantly throwing yourself at me." The machine is turned on. Walking over to the heater Robbie turns down the setting then fans himself with his hand. "Rocky?"

"Hm?" He takes a seat beside Robbie on the small bench beside the door.

"You seemed really scared of Corin-.."

"But I'm over that!" He explained quickly. "It was just a shock to see the resemblance."

"Don't worry, I know but.... what I meant was.. I wanna know how you felt about it- what my aunt did? You talk about what she did with Maxim but do you explain your feelings to him?"

Shrugging, Rocky shakes his head. "I can't say. I don't remember so much what we talk about because most of the time I'm just eager to get away."

"Rocky, I'm not trying to get under your skin or anything but you need to understand that you can't hold your emotions in the way you do, its not good for you." He rubs the males back.

"What are you saying?"

"You explain your feelings, you show some sort of acknowledgement of it on your face but its hollow."

Eye twitching Rocky calms the feeling stirring in his chest. "Robbie, emotions are dangerous if you don't know what you're doing with them, they hurt people and yourself... is it so wrong that I like to control mine."

"No."

Rocky's hand scunched at his side and again he calms it. "Why?"

"Because someday you're gonna tell me that you love me.... I want it to come from somewhere that scares me to be loved like that right before I return the feeling." Standing he looks down at the emotionally stunted male to say. "I'm not asking you to do anything for me, or that I want something from you... I want this for you."

Breathes coming in and out shakey, Rocky looks down at his lap to avoid eye contact with his boyfriend. "And what if I don't want to feel, what if I like being emotionally mechanical? Do you really wanna deal with someone who can't hold back their anger? So that they might hurt you badly someday because they couldn't keep it together!"

"....Yes. I meant what I said back at school, I'll let you live... I'll let you be whoever you are with me- no hiding, not even a little."

Rocky glares at the dark haired male tears forming in his eyes suddenly. "Why are you doing this?"

Blinking, Robbie smiles faintly. "Because I saw you for the first time when we had sex for the first time.... and you looked at me and smiled, you said you feel clear like everything makes sense and everything is quiet. Hn... hahaha can't I love you enough to want you to be clear all the time- even without me."

Sniffling, Rocky begins to laughs quietly while tears stream down his face. "Fuck you Ballerini."

Snickering as well, he kneels down popping his forehead to his lovers. "Don't rush it, let it come when it comes."

A buzzer turns both males heads in the direction of the washer. The cycle is finished.

"Why is quicker to wash clothes than it is to dry them? Shouldn't it be about even?" Ponders the brunet while getting up to open the machine. "Wanna get some hot chocolate?"

Sucking a shaking breath in and out, he wipes his face but shakes his head. "I wanna talk to Corin, though, I wanna know what she wanted to tell me that Sin kept me from getting her messages. He didn't even know because he just ignored her."

"I'm kinda interested in what she has to say myself. Can I... sit in on it or no?"

Shaking his head, Rocky stands up. "Naah, what's Arc gonna think if he sees my boyfriend covering me during a conversation with his sister."

"Okay." Lifting the basket under his arm Robbie exits the shed glad to feel the cold encase him, the warm in the shed was beginning to get annoying. "Hey Rock', think I can balance this on my head?"

"Hahaha, I wouldn't try it."

"No? You just challanged me Douglas, now I have to." He raises the basket of warm folded laundry. "It's on your head if the clean clothes fall to the dirt." Arms out he tried to balance the heavy basket.

Watching in amusement Rocky snickers at the stupidity of it all; there's no way Robbie isn't gonna drop that basket- well, maybe there is something that can prevent that. Looking at the basket, his dual gaze focused on it the plastic holder straightens out while the Canadian rocked and wobbled back and forth on the trip back to the house.

"Ta-da!" He takes the basket from his head. "Pay up, non-believer."

Arching a brow, Rocky glances into the house to be sure the family has vacated the kitchen and once assured the ninja leans over placing a kiss on his boyfriends cheek.

Hand to his cheek Robbie says. "How dare you! Again you're stealing kisses? Apology accepted, though," Hand out he then says with a smile. "Five bucks sounds about right."

Blinking, Rocky digs into his pocket for his wallet. "Guys got no sentimental value. Here."

"Thanks." Taking a step back he nods at the object. "Now get the door, my arms are kind of tied up."

Opening the door into the kitchen, Rocky bows his head. "After you."

Stepping inside Robbie stumbles a bit. "That's coming out of your paycheck, Douglas."

Laughing, Rocky only shakes his head following him in.

* * * *

Colt sticks out a finger as he walks the aisle of the public library in the city. He's looking for something to read until classes start. He hasn't seen Maggie anyplace around the city so he assumed she must be at school working hard or something. _Vampire books? Weak. Books about storms? ...That might be interesting. Snow storm, rain storms, electrical-..._ His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of constant snickering he's been hearing as he walked around the library. _Where is that coming from?_ Exiting the shelf area he spots the sorce of the laughter. Baha and Chris. Colt got lucky when Darren went off the college and took that duck-lip goon Hank with him, but these two are from his grade so he has yet to be rid of them.

The blue ninja would have thought they'd have grown out of this teasing behavior by now but they seem to be unable to break away from childish habits like teasing, though, when provoked he could be no better than an eight year old. But today he wasn't going for it, he's just gonna strole up to them and sort the problem out. Walking the distance of the shelves to the table, Colt places his hands down atop the wooden surface then looking the black male in the eye he says in a cocky tone.

"Alright, Baha, I'll take the bait. What the hell is so funny?"

The chubby male grins, his puffy cheeks puffying out moreso from the act. "Oh you know the usual."

"Saw your mother naked again?"

Chris stooped his head and began to laugh into his palm until his buddy threw him a testy glare.

"No. I was just laughing about you and your dumb family."

Colt didn't show any sign of being phased by that; let Baha say what he wants because as the male said this is his usual bought of stupidity. Sighing, Colt straightens and says. "Well, if that's all you've got- see ya."

"Hold it!"

Rolling his eyes Colt turns around. "I don't have time for this so if you're building up to something please speed it up."

"I just noticed that you're growing your hair, that's all."

Absently running a hand through his slightly longer hair. "What about it?"

Baha shrugs. "Nothing, I'm sure you'll look very pretty to whoever you try to attract."

Noticing the word used to describe him Colt cocks a brow. "Excuse me?"

"Its just that brother's tend to learn from the oldest- follow examples, habits..." He waves his hand as he speaks as if to show that he was drawing the conversation out. "I guess Chris and I was just wondering if you plan on being a bottom or a top when you get your first boyfriend?"

Chris burst into a hard laugh.

"....You're an idiot and I'm not gay. See ya."

"Oh, well for our sakes ask your big brother which he is the next time you see him, Chirs and I wanna know which jokes are best to use on him."

"Still- with this joke?" Colt can't seem to tear himself away from this pointless taunting. "Rocky isn't gay either."

"Not what Darren told us."

"Aaa, Darren. In other words your friend thinks he might have a shot with my brother because we have a history of violence?"

"Not at all," He rubs his chest slyly. "Darren's girlfriend just told him an interesting bit of news and he wanted to share it with his closest friends knowing it would reach the right person from there."

"Why did I stick around and listen to this? Why? I tell myself time and time again..." Colt mutters while walking away.

Watching his departure, Chris cups a hand beside his mouth then calls out. "Tell your fart knocking brother Chris and Baha said 'we always knew it'!"

Colt flipped them off and kept going.

* * *

Rocky spent the morning helping the family around the house while they got things ready for the relatives that will be staying in their home as oppossed to the ones who will be staying in a hotel; afterwards he walks down the hall to Corin's bedroom knocking on the door.

"Come in." She says in an odd voice.

Opening the door, Rocky sees the reason for the tone is that she's listening to music. Lifting a hand to offer a hello he walks further inside. "Hi. You... you said that you wanted to talk to me, to give me something?"

"Can you please close the door."

Rocky was hesitant; closing the door with someone that looks like his tormentor wasn't exactly something he wanted to do everyday or anyday but as far as he knows Corin is harmless even a little cute as she danced about the house singing to herself while he and the family cleaned. Walking over to her vanity he sits down on the little flower print cushion seat.

"What I wanted to give you was something you probably didn't know my mother had."

"Hmm?"

"Your life."

Blinking, Rocky says quietly. "I don't understand."

"I can see to it that you get your life back and you'll hopefully allow me to give something to my mother in return."

"You're gonna have to explain to me better what you're talking about. How can you give me back my life?"

Corin removes her headphones from around her neck setting it down beside her on the bed, straightening up from her position on her stomach she looks Rocky in eye. "...Its... hard to get out but I... I saw a tape of you in my mother's bedroom one day when we went over to her home after she was committed. I didn't think it would be right to give it to the police because they might have played it and that would have humiliated you." Standing, she turns reaching under the mattress of the bed pulling out a video tape she hands it to Rocky. "They have all the others. I... you seemed so scared and lonely and my mom was...." She trailed off. "Either way, I had to give that to you and tell you that, if there's anything that you would like to get out- anger, sadness, questions... I may not be able to answer them but I can take them as if you were talking to my mother."

Looking at the video tape in his hand, he wonders exactly what's on it- he knows, but he wants to know for sure. Standing he walks over to her television sliding the tape into the VCR turning on the set and the VCR. The video starts and there on the bed is Marissa and she's holding Rocky in her arms like a mother would their child, one hand caressing Rocky's hair the other tightening its grip around him.

"Lo-..."

_She spoke!_ Rocky's eyes widen.

Shaking her head rapidly as if trying to clear the fog she tries again. "L..l.. ost but-.. terly." The woman's voice is thick like concrete to a baby's hand. "L.. lost ...butte-..."

"That song....." Rocky says absently. "She's the one I heard it from." Tears in his eyes Rocky leans forward pressing stop/eject, when the tape came out of the VCR he pulls it out of the machine then leaves it on the floor, standing Rocky raises his leg over his head dropping it down over the video his heel smashing it into two halves with unfixable bits crumpled in the center.

Startled Corin placed a hand to her chest. "I'm sorry." She says not knowing why.

"When my memories started to return I heard this song on tv, its the very song your mother tried to sing right there."

"You got all that from two words? I didn't understand any of it."

Rocky shakes his head. "I remember, now, I remember that she held me for an hour while she sang that song to me telepathically after she tried doing it with her own voice and failed. .....The entire time she sang she was crying over me, it was silent I just felt the wet and I didn't understand any of it then but afterwards she brought me home and I just let it go- like it never happened, I let it go and I forgot about it like an idiot because if I had remembered I never would have allowed her to take me from school when she did."

"You can't keep running these circles, Samuel.." It felt weird using his name outloud when she's read letters from her mother identifying him. It felt as though she had no right to know him in any way because of her mother's sick connection and interest in him that she had to tell her own daughter about it. "Please."

"Marissa, your mother, stole you face and came after me as a girl named Maria." Seeing the confused look on Corin's face he explains. "Its like a glamour, you can fool a persons eyes to believe they're seeing something that isn't there."

Corin looked frightened and mystified by this. "But why?"

"So that I wouldn't recognize her and run. Since I grew up I got stronger and would have easily been a match for her but if she tricked me she could get in and she did. I kept thinking that I know her somehow but my mind had blocked her out so hardcore I actually split into another person- he's the one that received and deleted your messages to me."

"That's why you never called or wrote back?"

He gives a single nod. "In the end, what killed your mother was the pain that I- someone like herself, was fooled by her trick and forget about her. It ate her up and killed her."

"All she wanted was a world where people with the same gift as her could live without fear or hatred, she wanted to gather you all up and live in a giant home together," Corin laughed dryly. "She hated me, her own daughter because I wasn't a gifted mind. All I heard about was you- always.... I hated you at first, did you know that? I thought that if I ever met you I would tell you off, maybe even slap you but, I can't hold onto anger of someone I never met. But please, for the both of us, lets get some closure on the whole thing. You tell my mother, through me, what you've always wanted to say- or do, I can take it and you... you'll give me your word that you... forgive her."


	8. Fighting Demons

A.N: Thank you very much for the reviews. *hugs*

Warnings: Violence (mild) some language and thats all.

...............

"For...give h...er." Rocky said it as though he were trying out the words for the first time. His gaze has become blank.

"I know its asking a lot but, please hear me out about this?" Her ice blue eyes are sincere with pleading and want. He seemed to be listening so she went on. "Honest, most people have very serious trauma's due to the fact that they never get to really know what happened to them or why- who did it.... and because of that there's no closure. But for you, you know everything that's happened to you, possibly why it happened and definitely who the one was doing it but.... you only know my mother from what she's done. You said it yourself she tormented you with my face."

Cutting her off Rocky shakes his head. "Its not just that. I had D.I.D. for years, _years_ without ever really knowing until he came out of my head- my brain actually manifested him because he wanted to help me get out of my prison, but no not me I didn't want any help with anything because as far as I knew _I_ was incharge of my life not this figmet of my imagination claiming to be me." He points a finger to himself. Water in his eyes he sniffles and his voice shakes with threat of verbal cries.

"And then to find out that half to the time it wasn't me, that I've been hiding things even from myself because I was too weak to handle it..." That was all he needed Rocky starts to cry, head lowered, eyes shut as tiny sobs come from him.

Bravely, Corin crosses the distance between them placing a hand on his shoulder. "Its good that you cry, its good that you show emotions about it. No one ever got better from penting themselves up."

"No you're wrong!!" He shouted in a low voice so no one in the home would hear him. "I... can't.... What is wrong with you people? Can't you see that its dangerous to feel things!?"

"It can't be-..."

Smacking her away he sits back on his butt scooting away from her. "It is!"

"Why!?" She hollars back.

"Because you're _not_ her, you're NOT Maria, and you never will be... There is no revenge, no redemption.... there's just nothing."

"But you can pretend can't you? Can't you?!" Holding back her own tears, she refuses to break eye contact with the male. "You... I should hate you! You stole my mother from me! All I...." She sniffles. "All I ever wanted was for her to love me, only me- her daughter, her plain, ordinary daughter." Shaking her head in dismay she says. "But she never did. All I ever heard from her was about _you_; Rocky, he's so great, he's so wonderful- I couldn't take it! And whenever she wasn't around me she was in and out of pychwards trying to escape insanity that her gift was giving her." The girl is visibly shaking. "....You'll never be five years old, watching you mother while she dyes her white hair back to its normal color while she gives you cold glares and talks down to you about someone you've never met. It wasn't just you, it was Ivan as well. She would always talk about him and how, even though he isn't the same as you two are, he's still a wonderful boy- that he just needs nurturing."

Rocky listens to her, trying to imagine what it would be like if his mother looked at him coldly and talked down on him. It hurt him. It was like someone stabbed him in the gut suddenly with a long sword and didn't stop pushing up until the tip of the sword pierced his heart. Lowering his head, he blinks a sprinkling of tears to his lap. "I'm... sorry, Corin."

The girl nods. "So why can't you do this? Why can't you pretend that I am my mother? Tell her off! Make her hate what she's done to you! But when you're done.. once the last words have left your mouth.... you forgive her and never look back."

"....Corin...."

"Maria." The girl corrects. Its weird that her mother even made up a name for this new persona with her face, but Rocky's gift may have split him in two because he could not cope with it, so who was to say that the same could not be said about her mother? She's been around a lot longer than Rocky has, it seemed the boy only just started using his gify; from the close range she got to him when touching his shoulder she could see the bits of white hair starting from where he must have used his gift for a large amount of time.

Rocky though this was completely stupid. It won't make him feel better, it won't solve anything but... if it will make Corin leave him alone it was worth a shot. Sighing silently, he looks up into her eyes... the eyes that held his own so many times keeping him paralyzed with fear of what was to come his way. He can feel himself begin to shake as well; calming his nerves he speaks in a broken soft voice.

"I know now what you wanted in life, Maria.... its what everyone different, lonely, or filled with friends wants. To be noticed, to be alive.... empty is the worst feeling in the world. It holds you, it held you and you embraced it instead of shoving it away. I know what its like to do that... rather than letting something go, I'll think about it and it won't make sense to me so longer I hold onto that thought until it turns into a feeling" His word drifted so strongly the 'feeling' almost didn't come out. "and that's when a simple thought turns on me and hurts me, when its a feeling- an emotion. I.... I can't break down, is what I tell myself but in the end I'm always crying silently, wiping invisible tears while I smile at everyone smiling at me. Honestly, Maria, I think that I would have rather known the isolation you did instead of having so many people look to me like I'm some hero or perfect being because I'm not. I can be cruel, almost vengeful but.... I stop those feelings because its easier to just be happy than to let things get out of hand so, haha" The laugh is a dry sound. "I guess I just contradicted myself, huh, better to be happy than have the world isolate me for who I might truly be."

Confused, Corin listens with open ears and heart.

"That day you met me at the park, I could have stopped you from taking me but... when you looked at me, I saw myself in your eyes and because of that I wanted to go with you, I wanted to know why you looked that way." Curling in on himself he swallows audibly hard. "So, we went to your house and you held me like my mom would." Again he laughs dryly. "You sang to me this song I've never heard before it was sad but not sad. ....You tried singing with your normal voice but it was thick and weird, I wasn't used to that- not when you sounded normal one minute and then like a monster the next, I freaked out and ran, and instead of you leaving me alone you.... you came after me again giving me gifts; you always kept saying we were alike but after meeting you I didn't think so anymore."

"Why?" Corin asks.

Startled, Rocky looks at the girl as if he just noticed she was in the room with him. "Don't you know?"

Corin shakes her head.

"I held so much distance in my heart to keep people out, but in your heart was the distance people put there to keep you in. You wanted to inhale me so that I fit in there... I was just a little boy, how could I be all that for you- a grown woman! You couldn't resist could you, you couldn't just hold me so we could each others loneliness." He starts to cry again. "You raped me, you took my innocents and held it with power that you won over someone who lived the mirror of your life as a gifted mind. I didn't..." He paused to school his feelings. "I didn't deserve that, and I didn't deserve to be touched by all those other kids nor they by me- what was wrong with you?"

He seemed so serious about the question Corin had to answer. "I don't know.... I was.... hurt," She tried to think of what her mother might say, how she might have felt. "I hurt myself by hurting someone like myself in the sense that were are both different."

"Bullshit! What did that have to do with video taping me!?"

"I had so much going on in my life that I wanted to remember the good parts."

"You wanted to... raping an innocent child and having others do the same, you call that a good part?!" Gaze hot he focuses on Corin.

Corin's eyes widen with fright as her mouth drops open, her jaw dropping painfully low threatening to snap apart if the invisible grip didn't release itself.

"You didn't have any right to do that to me." Rocky cried.

Corin began to whimper as the sound of her bones creaked in her ears.

Startled back to reality Rocky released his hold on the girl. "I'm sorry, Corin. I... I can't do this anymore."

"No!" She's holding her jaw closed, speaking through her teeth, fear still in her eyes. "No please go on."

"But I almost hurt you, doesn't that bother you?"

"No, please go on."

Rocky lowered his eyes, better to take it out of the carpet should his gify flare up again. "Why did you have to rape me?"

"I don't know."

"You have to! ....Because I can't accept that it was for no reason, it will kill me." And he meant that too. He had to accept that everything in life had a purpose- even pain. But to say something was for nothing, something that hurt and changed him so much... he couldn't take it. "Please Maria... please tell me.... why?"

Corin is silent listening to Rocky beg her to tell him something she wasn't sure she knew. Closing her eyes, she reaches into herself and thinks of her mother. Marissa Balsam, posing as her but by a different name. "When I took you, anytime I was with you.... I saw that you were cared about and I..." She bit back her words because to her it is not true. She loves her mother very much regardless what she's done to her which is why she'll endure any pain for the woman, a broken jaw, bones, heart attack just to show the woman that she was not unloved, nor alone. "I was never cared for. I was watched, poked and probed, laughed at by others when they knew I was a mute but you, you had it all- the gift and a life. I wanted to break your spirit until you felt that _I_ was all that you had left."

"Than you're a fool because I never would have cared for someone hurting me like that- I just can't have."

Corin gets up crossing the room for her box of tissues taking one for herself and extending the box out to Rocky.

"Thank you." This was actually really weird for him. He couldn't keep that from his thoughts as he blew his nose. Speaking to a Maria look alike and having her be nice to him. It heady and making him very tired. But its nice that he can keep a clear head without feeling Maria's gift pulsing over his brainwaves while she spoke to him. It felt safe, like there would be no tricks. "Maria... you caused me so much pain and suffering that honestly I didn't care what happened to you after a while but when you died I... I died a little too. I felt your pain, so much it hurt to acknowledge but now that I can, I can actually say that I'm sorry about everything you've been through. I would change the part of your life that had me in it, and all the dumb mistakes you've made so that this wouldn't have been the outcome, so that you wouldn't have pain."

Corin looks surprised.

"Nobody should feel alone, with just one person in your life ...it can make so much of a difference. And they aren't always going to be the ones to pick you, so you pick them and hope it works out but if it doesn't try and again and again until you get that person that looks at you and holds you and says... 'no matter what'." A smile crosses his face and he actually laughs, honestly. "You know its funny but, I... hated you so much that I've done to you what you did to me- taken away your humanity so that I could hate you and not look back at what I said or did to you afterwards but... its not ok to think that way or feel that way. For that, I'm sorry ...And... I didn't think it were possible to but... I forgive you." He laughs to himself. "I really think that I do- feel that I do...." He corrects himself.

Corin nods as if to say "Go on!"

"You made a mistake but out of it came Arc and he's such a great kid- a bit mean spirited mind you, but great. And you have an amazing daughter, I only wish you got to know that and I hope my forgiveness can give her some comfort that maybe you will." He looks at Corin. "But, to tell you the truth if it weren't for you... I never would have found Robbie and he and I never would have ended up together and he makes me so happy that... I wish I could have him forever."

Corin is stunned again by the things this boy is saying. He and Ivan? Does he mean? No he couldn't mean that, its crazy- not being gay but... how can he date him?

A knock on the door calls their attention and said male pushes open the door. "Hey," He says to Corin and looking passed her he sees Rocky and smiles. "Hey." He greets him as well then turns his attention back to his cousin. "Mom wants to know if you wanna go shopping with them, while Rocky and me take Arc out?"

"Sure, let me get my coat." Standing, she walks over to Rocky and hugs him while stooped over. "Thank you."

"Thank you." He says in return for the light feeling in his body. It really does feel good to finally breathe again.

Letting go the girl grabs her boots from under the bed then dashes out of her bedroom passed Robbie who's walking in. Rocky stands slowly from the floor as though he legs hurt from sitting on them for so long.

"Did I miss something?" He points over his shoulder with his thumb.

Cocking a brow Rocky says with a sly smile. "You were there the whole time."

"No I wasn't."

Nodding, he wraps his arms around the males torso. "Yes you were, I felt your energy." He smiles adding. "Its a ninja thing, that way no one can ever sneak up on you."

"I'll have to remember that." He kisses Rocky atop his head. "And now that you're all light weight, feel up to the park?"

Taking in a deep breath, eyes closed, smile never leaving his face Rocky says softly. "I'd rather sleep, but okay."

"I washed and dried one of my coats for you incase it gets colder."

"Sweet. My first official piece of boyfriend gear." Detaching himself from the male he winks at him before exiting the room.

Cocking his head he smirks. _'Damn bratty cousin, giving my lover his smile back- I wanted to. But, it can't be helped I'll just have to reap the happy rewards.'_ Heading out the door, he pulls it closed behind him.

* * *

"Hello?"

Darren Whittle, 21 years old, sports scholarship in baseball living in a dorm on the campus of the California College. Girlfriend for 2 years Charlotte Reeves, who majors in Math planning to become an accountant for a business someday- former cheerleader. Finger in his exposed ear, the blond male scratched a hand over his blemished cheek waiting for whomever is on the other end to get on with it already.

"Darren. Its Colt." The Douglas boy was practically seething through the phone.

Grinning from ear to ear, the male sits up more straight in his chair at the library of the school. "Well, well, I guess Baha gave you the news then?"

"Oh what, you mean your new childish game that you're trying to play with me and my brother?" Colt retorts. He is not happy even a little and he was sure that if he were anywhere near the prick he would surely send him to the hospital with one well placed punch to the face. "I've heard the rules; get us workd up so we're scrambling around trying to dispel your rumor while you walk around laughing it up, no thanks. But I will tell you this, back the hell off my brother or you and me are gonna have some problems."

"Oooh, I'm shaking in my seat. You know Colt, that ninja stuff may have worked when we were kids but its not gonna get you too far now. I know a few good moves myself, its called right and left hook. Me and Sid have been hitting the boxing mat at the gym."

"Did the bag tell your fist its sowwy for hurting you?" Colt laughed.

"Watch your mouth or this so-called rumor won't just be funny amongst my friends and Charlotte it'll be around the entire campus."

Again Colt laughs. "You know what, Darren, I don't even know why I gave you the satisfaction of a phone call. No one will believe you because its not true; and should there be an idiot that thinks so they only need to watch my brother to realize what team he bats for."

"Too bad for them its a guys." This time it is Darren who's laughing. "Wh- what was it that Char' told me?" He can barely get his words out over his laughter. "Your brother actually wanted him to go faster, called out his name and that kid did the same."

Bitterly enough, Colt felt a flash flicker past his eyes and he shook it violently away, hair sweeping about his head. "Good bye." He hangs up. Flipping his phone back open, he speed dials his little brother. Tum tum has been acting weird lately, asking all these questions about Rocky. If he knows something there are ways of making his little brother talk. "Tum tum, I need to talk to you."

"Alright, where are you, I'll drive over."

"Ahaha, and then Dad will shoot you, take your bike you know you don't have a permit yet."

"I have a learners, and I say that warrents me any practice that I can get in."

Colt thought that over. He said the exact same thing to him when he was getting his licence. "Hey, its your head not mine, take the car."

"Sweet. Where are you?"

Colt can already hear the male shuffling around wherever he may be in the house. "Phily Cheese."

"What are you doing there?"

"Starving, what do you think. Get down here."

"Okay.... where is that again?"

Sighing restlessly, Colt shakes his head. "Forget it, I'll get something and come home. Don't leave." Flipping his phone off, he climbs into his car to grab his wallet from the arm rest between the seats. 12 bucks is worth it for the information, though, he can't believe that he can still bribe his brother with food. Older but definitely not wiser that Tum Tum.

...............

"Mmmm. God this is good, I haven't had one of these in so long. Thanks Colt." He takes another huge bite.

"Uh huh. Hey Tum? ...You know how you before when you asked me about Rocky going off with Robbie... what were you getting at?"

"I told you, nothing."

"Right. But really, between us, what were you getting at?" He leans over the table, hungry gleam in his hazel eyes.

Mimicking the look, Tum Tum leans over to do the same. "I told you nothing, it was just something Rocky had asked me about early this year, that's all."

Sitting back Colt waves his hand out. "There, see, now we're getting somewhere." He's quiet a moment until he realizes his brother isn't going to talk. "Well, what was it?"

"He told me not to tell."

"So what! Do you always do everything Rocky tells you too?"

"I don't see why not; Rocky's not as bossy as we think he is and even when he is he's actually, usually, right."

"Let me be perfectly blunt. ...Tum Tum... is Rocky gay?"

"No."

Letting out a huge breath of relief, Colt pats his brother on the shoulder. "That's all I ask." Getting up, he grabs his coat. "I'm going back out. Tell Mom, I'll be home for dinner."

"Fine, but wait,"

"What?"

"Why are you suddenly so interested in something like that?"

"Its just stupid Darren and his dumb friends at it again; they said his girlfriend heard Rocky and that idiot Robbie one night." Shrugging, Colt says. "I didn't believe it but, y'know, just good to make sure sometimes."

"Oh."

"Bye."

Tum only raised his hand to say 'got it'. _'See Rocky, I didn't break my promise. He asked if you're gay and you're not. I didn't hear anything about if you fell for Robbie and might want to date him. Mission accomplished.'_


	9. Learning the ins and outs of a lover

A.N: Thank you so much for the reviews its means a lot to me. I didn't know other countries were reading this too Hi! ahahaha. I noticed the story chart or something like that and thought that is so cool. Music and fanfics bring people together *hugs*

...

"Tell me more about you." Robbie says when they've both dropped themselves onto a swing seats at the park.

The weather was more chilly than Rocky expected, and he shivers beneath a large goosedown coat and a blue knit-hat atop his head. Even with Robbie's jacket he can still feel the cold in his bones and he attempts to shrink into as much as he can.

Blinking at the sight of the turtle beside him, Robbie looks down at his light sweater then smiles. "Guess I should have given you my gloves too." Chuckling he rubs Rocky's back. "I forget you're not really used to the cold like I am."

Scoffing, Rocky turns his dual gaze at the 'eskimo' to say. "Glad you can poke fun- and stop rubbing my back you're raising the jacket up at the bottom."

That only seemed to make the Ballerini boy laugh a little harder. "I'm sorry." Smiling fondly at the blond, he holds out his hand. "Gimme your hand."

Rocky looks skeptically at it but reaches out for the offered hand, then tucking the other one into the sleeve. A frown crosses his expression. "Why do you get to be so warm?"

Robbie shrugs holding tightly to the hand. Scooting his feet back in the sand below he starts pumping his legs to get the swing to move but is jerked gently back by Rocky's lack of movement. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Rocky says almost grouchily and very much still scrunched into himself.

_'Cold cranky? This guy just keeps up the cute coming, doesn't he.' _Thinks the brunet. "Come on, swing; it'll take your mind off the cold."

"Alright." Scooting his legs back as well, he wonders briefly how swinging, of all things, could keep him warm when he's gonna have wind whipping in his face.

"As I was saying, I wanna know more about you. I know that you're half Japanese and that you live in L.A.; but there's gotta be more than that."

"I don't know how to talk about myself; just ask me things and I'll answer them." He says, muffled with his mouth beyond the neck of the jacket.

"Okay... Let's seeeee... What do you like to eat or drink? Any favorites?"

Nodding, Rocky says. "I mostly like brown soda's and clear ones, I've never been a big fan of fruited, but as far as favorite drinks go V8 and instant powdered teas have always been my favorite."

"I mostly like cream and Sprite, not much else."

"Foods are... soups I guess, and pasta. I never get soup much though because, you know, living in L.A. there aren't many- if any, cold days."

"I'm more into breakfast than other meals, but I've always been attracted to sea food."

"Have you ever had sushi?"

Shaking his head. "Not the real thing from the homeland, but California sushi is just as good."

Wide-eyed, Rocky shakes his head. "Its completely different!" He declares. "Huh... I'm gonna have to take you to a place where you can get it in its true form." He kicks his legs out getting more height than before. Spotting Arc in the distance under the dome shaped jungle gym, he smiles. "He likes building sand sculptures in dirt?"

Confused by the conversations change in direction Robbie looks off to where Rocky is staring. "Oh yeah, he likes making turtle families. He'll get about five done then sit there and make them talk to each other."

"Hahaha, that is so cute."

Admiring the look of the ninja as the peek of bangs under the cap rise and fall with his movement, Robbie shakes it off. "Yeah it is..." Returning the conversation back to them he asks. "So, what about music?"

"I like anything I can meditate to." Rocky says abruptly.

"Meditation? Eh, I don't know if I could do something like that. My brain won't shut up long enough for me to relax."

"I should teach you how sometime, you'd love it."

"Naah, with you in the room my brain definitely won't shut up."

Rocky only chuckled at that.

Smiling with his mouth, though not his eyes, Robbie asks in a bland but heartfelt tone. "Did you always hate compliments or did it start around the time Maria was harrassing you?"

Rocky shrugs. "I'm not entirely sure when it happened but, I don't know, I just think that if you're gonna say that I look good or whatever you should take it up with my parents. I mean, to me, with looks, I'm just keeping up what they gave me; I want for someone to compliment _me_. Hn. Plus..." He trails off a second then continues. "I get kind of shy about the reply, 'thank you' has always seemed weird to me because why am I thanking them- for noticing? Not likely because I don't really care that they noticed. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah."

Looking at the male, Rocky then says quietly. "You know, back there with Corin... the reason that I agreed to forgive your aunt is because of you. I thought about how you loved her enough to not want to believe that she would do the things she'd done, and it made me sad to realize that I've stopped seeing her as a person by demonizing her worst half; and that isn't, in a way, fair. It made me think that my hurting her hurt you in some way. Even Corin, whose never had any good contact with her found herself loving her, so for _you_ I had to forgive her. You've become an achor for me, Robbie, and because of that I want you to be happy."

"...Thank you."

Grinning faintly, he nods with an affirmed assurance. "You're welcome... So, my question to you is an obvious one- when is your birthday?"

"July 9th."

"Mine is November 13th."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I think so." Looking over to Arc again, he follows him with his eyes as the boy dashes over to the merry-go-round. "Is Arc a busy-body?"

"Isn't every four year old?"

"I guess so. I remember Tum being such a pain all the time with wanting to go here with me and Colt, or wanting to go there alone. But he was so much fun to hang out with, so we didn't mind."

"I kind of wished for brothers and sisters but then again, I loved all my parent's attention solely for me. Before moving to L.A., when my aunt went to the institute, Corin was dropped off so then I had a sister. She cried a lot asking when her mother was coming back and things like that... she even refused to eat after a while."

"That had to be tough having your mother gone so suddenly."

"Yeah, her father too and knowing what people all over the news were saying about why that was." He sighs. "But I perked her up by making jokes and always lugging her here and there with me until she couldn't help but laugh and join in. My friends thought I was nuts to keep bringing my cousin everywhere with me but so what, that's just what I wanted to do so I was gonna do it."

"Ahaha I wish I could think like that, with me, I'm always thinking how what I want to do will effect others and then I end up not doing it."

"Kind of like now?"

"Yes, kind of like now- buzz killer." He smiles.

"Again, I'm asking gently; why not just be together?"

"Because it could hurt us, _you_ most of all. And I love you, so I don't wanna see that happen."

Robbie snickers a minute. "Its true. I hate violence, I'm the worlds biggest push over because I'd rather make peace and all that."

"That's a shame to hear, I love fighting. Its the one thing that I can claim for myself from the side of me that's Sin'. Everytime we went to my grandfather's cabin I would be in my element, having fun and laughing, it was always a good time... then I'd get home and it'd be back to school and back to an odd life that I was trying to rid myself from."

"Hmm."

"But," With more spring his his step he sticks his legs forward so the swing jets out. "with you as my friend there's no way I'm gonna be down; everything is over and I can breathe again, really breathe. I might even tell Dr. Maxim to cancel my sessions since I won't be coming in."

"That's the spirit!"

Looking over at Arc Rocky drops his weight down so that the swing stops moving, releasing Robbie's hand he stands up.

Alarmed, Robbie stands as well then asks. "What? What is it?"

But Rocky takes off running. Doing the same the Canadian sees up ahead his cousin and a man from the area talking.

_'Oh no, that must be it.'_ Pushing his legs a little harder to speed up he manages to get to Arc a second after Rocky and in that instant he grabs his lovers arm to stop him from lunging at the man. "Rocky wait!" He shouts hoping the adrenaline hasn't deafened the male.

Smacking the man's hand so that the candy he is holding out to Arc falls to the cold, dead, grass. Rocky glares at the man. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded to know.

"What? I just-..."

Cutting the man off, Robbie says to Rocky after giving him a shove to snap him out of his head-strong raid. "Rocky, _relax_, this is Mr. Chaplin and he's really nice. He lives right across the street, and plays with the kids all the time."

"Don't most preditors live 'right across the street'? And anyway he shouldn't be offering kids candy muchless thinking its alright to come up and play with them without asking permission first."

"Who are you, young man?" Asks Chaplin. "Never in my life have I been accused of such a thing. I would never do any harm to a child."

"None being monitored anyway, right!"

"No." The man sounded on the verge of tears by the assumption that he is a child molester. He's lived here his whole life, he has a son of his own- granted his son is living with his mother now but he visits him over weekends. How can this boy come along and just throw insults around- especially ones so serious.

"He doesn't mean anything by it, he's had a very rough past. Please don't take it to heart, Mr. Chaplin."

"Come on, Arc, we're leaving." Rocky says taking the boy's hand.

"How come?" The child pouted down at the dropped candy.

The ninja pauses for a moment then replies with something that's not entirely a lie. "Because its time for lunch, we're going to have McDonalds. Is that ok with you?"

"Yay! Woo hoo!" He throws his empty hand into the air following the male.

Robbie watched them leaving but he then turns his attention to Mr. Chaplin. "I'm sorry."

"That guy a friend of yours, Ivan?"

"Yes- actually, he's Arc's father."

Wide-eyed the man looks at Robbie. "His _father_? I thought he was _absent_- ha, and nevermind that, that boy couldn't be any older than you!"

"Its complicated." Robbie glances back at them. "But my aunt did some pretty bad stuff to him and its got him completely hauled up in a bad place, that's why he's super protective of Arc."

"Protective or not, that's some serious stuff he's spitting at people. I'd advize him to watch hisself."

Nodding, Robbie says. "I will. But really, please, don't take it too hard." Patting the man on the shoulder, he smiles and says. "You just keep being that nice old man with the strawberry candies. Rocky is only visiting Arc and me then we're going back to L.A."

"Aaa." Intones Chaplin. "How is school for you, Ivan? You making good grades or scamming on all the pretty girls?"

Blushing, Robbie shakes his head. "No, no I'm not scamming pretty girls. I'm seeing someone, though, but as far as grades go... well... I'm still trying to find my direction in life."

Patting Robbie on the back he turns slightly to gesture that he's leaving. "You'll figure it out."

"I hope so, the stress is really starting to get to me." Waving he starts away. "Bye Mr. Chaplin."

"See you around, son."

Catching up with Rocky, who's getting pretty far down the street, though, slowly since he doesn't know the neighborhood. Robbie wraps his arms around the pouting male's waist before nuzzling his cheek to his. "Dude, you've gotta get a life."

"I don't 'gotta' nothing." He flashes him a dangerous glance.

Falling into step with him, Robbie decides to push the issue... just a bit. "He really is a nice man."

"I don't care, nice men lead to NOT nice men, and I don't want Arc to grow up as one of those people who just talks to anyone."

"Well he can't be afraid of life." Robbie retorts.

Rocky said nothing only kept his attention forward.

Robbie watched his face a moment, but with a shrug walked on in silence with the two. He supposed Rocky would get over it eventually.

"...I'm sorry. I just" He pauses. "I just don't like that fact that the world is so unsafe, but you're right, I can't go around accussing everyone of being bad. That's not how you heal and its not a healthy way to live."

Blinking, Robbie smiles. "I love that about you, you sum up exactly what you're thinking and say it with sincerity. Its a good quality in a person, makes me feel all safe and secure."

Scoffing Rocky repeats. "Safe and secure. Some people find it annoying."

"No. Not me, I meant what I said, its a good quality and I love it."

Rocky thought about that and with a confident grin he says. "You know what? That's the first _real_ compliment I've ever gotten; thank you."

"Ahahaha you're welcome."

"There's the store." Arc points as they walk by the restaurant.

"Oooh, let's see if they still have those race car toys." Says Robbie looking both ways then crossing the street. "Buddy system." He calls moving his hand behind him for Rocky to take.

Unsure a moment, he remembered what Robbie said about being free in a place like this because no one knows him so who cares what anyone may see or what they may think when seeing it, its his life and if he chooses to live it with a male- even for a short while, that's his business and no one else. Taking his boyfriend's hand the three of them cross the street.

...

Colt opens the door to his new dorm room. His intentions are pure and hopefully the end result will be a good one. After all, there's nothing wrong with doing a little follow up, a person can never be too suspicious until any little indicator to a bad outcome is completelty snuffed out. So with mock gloves on and a fine toothed comb he searched the room from left to right in search of some kind of evidence that might contradict what his younger brother had told him. With any luck he will find nothing and with that he'll drop the matter completely but if he finds something well... well, he doesn't actually know what he intends to do but it will be something.

Looking through the desk he locates some pieces of candy, some loose change, and a rubber band ball. He thought people stopped doing lame things like that but guessed not. In another drawer he finds some pictures he assumed were Robbie's because he's never seen any of these people before and he knows just about the same people as Rocky and Tum Tum. Surprisingly enough the pictures are all of girls, minus the one of Rocky that his father used to flash over the news; tucking it into his pocket he doesn't care whether the double dipper notices its missing or not, he should not have pictures of his brother.

_'I'm not gonna count that as evidence because I have lots of pictures with male friends.'_ He mentally notes, but still he's keeping the picture. Abandoning the dresser, Colt moves over to the drawers. People usually keep pay dirt in a dresser or under the bed. Rifling through the clothing both Rocky's and Robbie's he finds nothing out of the ordinary so he leaves it alone. Lowering himself to the floor he searches for boxes that might hide secrets only to come up with a new pair of Nikes under the Canadians bed and some comics and handheld games under Rocky's. _'Guess he never kicked that gamer habit.'_ Looking around for another place that secrets lie Colt comes across the closet. _'Bingo.'_

...

"So there we were, trapped on this huge ship with all these bad guys around us." Rocky says to his son.

Eyes wide, Arc chews gingerly on a french fry. "Then what? Did they kill you?"

"Dummy. If they killed Rocky he wouldn't be sitting across from you, would he?"

"He might. Ghost are real." Answers Arc.

"No. I'm not dead," Rocky responds in a playful tone while giving the boy's hand a shake to show that he's real. "But we thought we'd be dead for sure because this Snyder guy was no joke, he pointed guns at us."

"Wow." The boy says in awe.

"But we weren't scared," Rocky adds very casual like the guns were made of toilet paper and the threats to them paper cuts with said paper. "infact, we got out of the cell when I remembered something that our grandfather taught us." Seeing that the boys attention never waned even a bit he goes on. "that everything around us can be our friend."

"Even snakes?"

"Even snakes. It was because of that that I noticed that there was a phone in the room, so I used it to call the opperator- not really sure who was on the other end, but we had to do something to get out of there."

"Did he know it was you?" Robbie asks, enthralled in the childhood tale as well.

"Not at all, I disguised my voice to make it sound more grown-up and said that... I don't know, I was doing a phone check."

Laughing, Robbie sips his soda. "There's no way the guy went for that."

Nodding Rocky says. "Yes, he did. And when I hung up the phone he called back asking if it were a real phone check so I told him as myself that the guard had stepped out of the room a second and when I called the guard outside in, I whacked him over the head with the receiver and we took off."

Nose scrunched in wonder, the boy asks. "What's a receiver?"

"That's the part of the phone that you talk through." Rocky answers reaching over the table to wipe, with a napkin, some barbecue sauce from the boys mouth.

"Thanks." He licks his tongue out to where Rocky had wiped as if to salvage some sauce or remove the sticky sensation left behind. "Then what happened, Rocky?"

"We fought many battles on the ship, this guy and that one, coming after us at every turn; we even had to make our own weapons out of junk lying around."

"Did you find your grampa?"

"He more or less found us while we escaped, but he helped us out in the end by defeating Snyder."

"Cool... Did all that really happen?"

"Mhm."

"Where's Snyder now? Can I go kick him in the knee for picking on you?"

"Hey, you picked on me too, remember 'scaredy Rocky'?"

"But I was only playing, this man was a mean bad guy." Arc states in his own defense to name calling.

"Naah, you can't kick him. Snyder went to prison and, he was released but he's a dish washer at a restaurant for reformed offenders."

"What about those three funny guys that kidnapped you and your brothers?"

"Fester got a job as a janitor at the airport, Hammer- whose name is actually Maki Namikawa, works at a shoe store under his grandfather's supervision and Marcus speaks to teens about child abuse." Rocky shrugs. "He apparently had a rough childhood." Blushing when he realized what he'd said, he apologizes. "I shouldn't be saying things like that to you. I should just say they all lived happily ever after or something, I'm sorry."

Tapping Rocky on the shoulder, Robbie points at the boy. "I don't think he heard you, look."

There, head flat against the table, Arc lay sleeping.

On the walk home Arc is held by Rocky piggyback style, resting his head between the ninja's shoulder blades. Beside them Robbie eats the fries from his lunch hidden in the bag he's carrying. "What about dessert? And don't tell me you're one of those people that doesn't like sweets." He actually looked as though he were going to cry if Rocky said he was.

"I love dessert, don't worry. I don't so much like candy, though. But cakes and brownies especially, caramel candy has always been good too."

"If it has sugar in it, I'll put it in my mouth."

They walk silently for a while, Rocky taking in the scenery while Robbie watched him, at least, until his eye caught the young boy resting against his lover's back. Hand reaching up he strokes the boys hair.

"Are you planning on telling him?"

"That I'm his father? I can't- I mean, I thought about it this morning during breakfast but... I don't know, its too nerve wrecking. What will he say? Will he ask where I've been all this time or why _me_ of all people. I just don't think I can take the rejection." He looks over his shoulder seeing the top of Arc's head. "Believe me, I would love to be his father in any way I can but... I don't think now is the time for it."

"I can understand that." Lowering his hand he stuffs it into the bag pulling out three fries. "Open up."

Taking the offer Rocky thinks about how he will tell Arc about being his father- if he tells him. Maybe he should just go to L.A. happy that the boy sees him as a friend. Behind him, Arc blinks thoughtfully over what he's just heard...


	10. Talking Father to Son

A.N: Thank you for reading and thank you for the reviews. I'm wondering where Coltxdoom is at this point hahaha he's such a fan of these two. I hope you're liking it meng! Enjoy and sorry about the chapter before, there was no chapter ten yet I accidently put it in twice because my computer was having issues and I didn't notice until it was pointed out so thank you 3ninjasfan! This chapter was so hard, I don't recall the mindset of 4 year olds so good but I worked and worked on this scene so I hope it came out ok.

...

Rocky and Robbie enter Arc's bedroom. Looking about the room the ninja smiles about the Power Rangers posters on the wall to the left, and to the right is a poster of a ninja dressed in white with throwing stars in his hand. The wall itself, though, is a light blue almost teal with paw prints running along here and there. Arc's toys were mostly race cars and Lego's, a few stuffed toys like bears and a caterpillar, and a chibi doll, male, that he recognized because Paula used to collect them growing up. Rocky wondered if the boy plays with the doll or was it just a present from a relative that thought it was cute.

Robbie pulled the covers back on the zoo decorated bed then nabbed the sleeping boy from his lovers back, carrying him over to the bed he lays Arc down pulling over the covers.

"The un-troubled sleep of the innocent." He says absently. "So, what do we do now?"

Their voices fade down the hall as they talk about something the young boy can't make out. Eyes open, he slips out of his bed after tossing the covers aside. Walking to the closet he reaches for an old shoe box, little hands take the lid off and sorting through the contents he locates a handful of letters mailed in pink and pale blue envelopes; leaving the lid on the floor he brings the box over to his bed climbing back in. A frown on his face, he tries for the life of him to hold back tears.

Opening one of the blue envelopes he removes the letter from inside. His crystal clear four year old eyes look at the message written on the paper as though it were a foreign language, but underneath it is a picture taped to the left corner. He could vaguely remember what his mother said to him one night while she rocked him in his favorite chair. It was something about this man here, and how they will all be together the day he finds him.

"Blue green eyes, blond hair, ...he's my Dad." He sniffles as he recalled what Rocky had said on the way home. "Mommy said he would love me, and that we'd be together... but she's not here and he doesn't want me." Looking at the picture more carefully, he cocks his head. "Maybe its not him, this guy has shorter hair than that guy out there, and he looks old too..." He runs the back of his sleeve past his nose. _'Will he get mad if I ask him? Grown-ups don't like bad questions, I seen big sister get yelled at when she asks some guys if they like her.'_ His little fingers scratch his moist chin. _'But at least she gets to know, so I'm gonna ask him.'_ Folding the note, he drops the box on top of the dresser beside his bed then lays down falling loosely asleep.

...

Arms wrapped firmly around each other the two fall down onto Robbie's bed, lips in a fierce tango breaking only to give them some air; during the pant Robbie leans back into the kiss breaking it with a loud 'mua', before removing himself from the blond.

Sitting up on the bed he looks down at his boyfriend then says. "Hey Sam,"

Dual eyes fixed on the brunet he answers. "Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing." Robbie waves it off. "I just wanted to see if you'd answer to it."

Making a face of wonder, Rocky sits up as well. "Why wouldn't I answer to it, its my name." He rests his head on Robbie's shoulder, an arm around his back. Turning his head he peppers kisses along the males neck.

He closed his eyes savoring the intimacy as if they were all alone in warm dark place, lit only by their feelings for each other. He enjoyed the peppery scent of his boyfriend's cologne, or deoderant? It was hard to say. But he'd almost forgot what he was saying when the moist tip of Rocky's tongue brushed his pulse point.

Shuddering, he regained his focus. "I know, but since I've known you its been Rocky this, or Rocky that... I don't know, I guess I just wanted to taste Sam."

"Taste Sam?" Rocky repeated in amusement. "Alright then, Iiiivan, what does Sam taste like?"

Rolling over on top of him, he kisses him deeply then answers. "Mmm, familiar."

"Really? Could it be because _I_ am Sam?" He added after a second thought. "Just like how you're Robbie _and_ Ivan."

"Oooohh, I get chills when you say my name."

Laughing at that, Rocky gives in to the grind but when catching himself returning the movement, he whispers into the kiss. "Don't make me hard."

"Oooh, I love it when you say that too."

Laughing, he gave the brunet a shove off before straightening his posture. "Whatever."

"Bleh, Sam and Ivan are dorks, listen to how their names sound together." He says in a thoughtful tone. "They could never make it as a couple."

"Never." Rocky agrees. "Now Rocky and Robbie, it has a certain ring to it, right?"

"Yeah." He thinks quietly to himself then smiles. "Hey, Rock', do you know how to cook?"

"A little bit, I guess. I make a better sous than a chef." Rocky cocks a brow. "Why?"

"I don't know, I just think that we'd have to eat at home at some point, so one of us has to know how to do it- once I convince you to live with me someday."

"Live with you?" Rocky can't help but smile at the thought, as far out as it is. "What makes you think that will ever happen?"

"Whaaaat?" He shoves Rocky this time. "You said our names have a certain ring to them," He wriggles his ring finger. "I'm gonna assume its an engagement ring."

Rocky laughed hard so suddenly he thought something might crack. "Dream on, Fabio."

"Think about it?" He laughs out. Holding out a hand he moves it slowly before them. "An apartment somewhere in the city, with two rooms incase we have a fight" He smiles at Rocky's laughter to that. "I'll decorate because my room rocks, and you... you can do all the cooking and cleaning- because you always take care of the dorm when I leave for classes- I know its not a ghost, don't deny its you." Thinking with a 'hmm' he then goes on. "Our neighbors will suck but that's alright it just gives us something to talk about on verbally slow days, and what else...?"

"We'll have two dogs named Punchinello and Judy-idiot."

"Hahahaha, yeah." Another thoughtful sound, then he asks. "What would we fight about?"

"My insane jealousy anytime a girl talks to you." Rocky ponders outloud.

Nodding, Robbie says. "It would probably be the other way around, girls don't talk to me much- I'm more the good-little-buddy type. I'd probably fight with you about your distance."

"I'm not that distant."

"But when you are," He phony shivers. "ice fuck."

That made the ninja chuckle. "I had no idea I did that."

"Now you know."

"Mm. And you know, I'd probably get mad at you for coming home with injuries because you don't want to defend yourself."

"Understandable." He nods. "I wish I went shopping before we left, there's no protection in this house and I'm so ho-.."

Rocky covered the males mouth with his hand. "Don't say that, there are young ears in the house."

Removing the hand though keeping a hold of it to return it once he's spoken the male says. "He's asleep, though- And I was gonna say HOT."

"But still... if you're gonna talk like that take it outside."

Robbie made a face but actually did get up and leave. "I'm going shopping, for someday." He adds before disappearing around the corner of the door.

...

_'I... don't believe it. ...What would Rocky be doing with- with...'_ Colt scrunches his hand around the condoms. _'Rocky hates physical contact like that, I remember once when I asked him about it he made some whole big stink that I shouldn't even be doing it, and when I said oh just humor me, he told me flat out that the thought of doing that with anyone sickened him beyond words. What was the point of getting pleasure by joining together- that's what he said. But to find this... Maybe I'm overreacting and these are Robbie's- but still... that doesn't give much comfort.'_ Shoving them back under the mattress, he suddenly wishes that he didn't start this little search.

Rocky comes back after tomorrow, he'll get his answers then. Rocky is a lot of things and completely honest is one of them, Rocky won't lie about this.

_'So why do I hope he does?'_

...

Rocky travelled downstairs after waiting for twenty minutes in Robbie's bedroom for the male to return from the store; but he made a slight detour to peek at Arc first, seeing that he is still sleeping he felt it would be alright if he wandered a bit. Grabbing his laptop from the kitchen table where he had left it this morning, the ninja sits in the living room on the couch opening his computer and starting up the page for his creative writing. Rocky must have been typing for about ten minutes when he felt a stirring from somewhere upstairs, then foot steps walking slowly through the hall and down the stairs. Fingers stilled, he waits for the person to approach and...

"Arc, you're awake."

The boy rubs his eyes with the back of his hand the other clutching tightly to a blue piece of paper. Rocky had seen him holding it as he slept wondering when he had gotten it since they boy was asleep when they got in; maybe putting him down on the bed woke him up for a minute.

"Where's aunt Edi?"

"She's still out with your uncle and sister." He closes the electronic notebook.

"And cousin Ivan?"

"He stepped out for a minute as well. But its okay, I'm nice I won't hurt you." Patting the seat he says. "Come sit, we can watch cartoons."

The boy wanders over the couch eyeing the spot beside Rocky but strangely he chose to climb into his lap, arms around his neck, snuggling into his chest he starts to cry.

"W- what's wrong?" He holds him tightly caressing the boys back. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. I can't read."

Rocky couldn't help but chuckle at that. Its too cute. "That's okay, you'll be able to read someday." Seeing the note he holds out his hand. "Here, can I see it? I'll read it for you."

"Its from my mommy." Arc says handing over the note.

Rocky's hand clamped down around the piece of paper frozen, his blood cold in his body. Maria, this note if from Maria? _'No. I have to stop thinking like that, this note is from Marissa, Maria is my tormentor... Marissa is just... a woman.'_ Unfolding the note, Rocky has to steady himself from freaking out when he sees at the bottom of it is a picture of him from his sophmore year of high school taped to the paper. "Wh- when did you get this- the note, I mean?"

Sniffling, Arc replies. "Last year for my birthday. Can you read it?"

Nodding mechanically, Rocky clears his throat in a quick and curt sound. "My darling little boy, this is your mamma. How are you my love?"

"I'm fine." Answers Arc as though the woman were in the room right now speaking to him.

Smiling faintly, Rocky goes on. "I'm having so much fun here at the home, the other women here are a bit strange- one girl likes pulling out her own hair, but she likes brushing and styling other peoples. Isn't that funny? We bake sometimes, I always make your favorite cookie the ginger bread men that make you smile. How I wish you could come here and taste them but the nurse says no visitors until mamma feels better. I miss you love."

"I miss you too."

"You don't remember this, but I used to rock you in your chair the one in your bedroom the first year you were born but... well, I'm sorry that I could not stay perminantly there are things I have to take care of first. ...I want you to be so happy. See the man in the picture at the bottom of the page?" His voice cracks and his hand starts to shake. "He's your pa-... pa-... your pappa. He looks just like you doesn't he? I hope you can meet him someday, mamma's working hard to bring you two toge-..." He swallows hard. "To bring you two to-.."

"Cousin Ivan says to sound out words you don't know so good."

Nodding, Rocky says. "to bring you two together. Its only a matter of time for me to leave this place, so I'm gonna be on my best behavior so that I can get out and bring our family together. He'll love you, he will. Just as I love you darling, you two look so much alike. Be good for your aunt and uncle, love your cousin... tell Corin... tell her that she's a pretty girl."

That came off kind of dry. Did Marissa really hate her daughter? Can anyone hate their own child?

"Love you always, Mamma."

Grip tightening on Rocky's shirt, he lifts one hand into Rocky's hair moving it to one side like he used to wear it before the out-growth screwed up his usual cut. The boy asks quietly. "Is it true? Are you the man in the picture?"

Blinking, Rocky looks at his picture: smiling boy wearing the color purple that his girlfriend, Carmen, picked up the day before saying it would compliment his eyes.

"I..." He starts.

"I heard you talking to cousin Ivan on the way home when I was resting," He looks desperately into Rocky's eyes. "why don't you want me?"

"I do want you! I was just... scared that you wouldn't want me. It makes no sense to me that... I don't know, but I'm scared that you won't want me."

"...I don't know you."

"And I don't know you. Arc, would you be okay with me being your father? Would you want me to visit you and write you letters like your mother did. We live so far from each other, aren't you going to be hurt from the distance?"

Wiping his eyes getting a little assistance from Rocky, he says sadly. "I never got to see mommy, just one time and she told me about you right before she left again."

"Do you remember what she said?"

Shaking his head, he answers. "Not all of it. But mommy said that we'd all be a family when you came to see me, and now you're here but where is she?" He starts to cry again this time loud.

Panicked at what to tell him he rocks the boy making soothing 'hushes' and 'ssshhh'. "Arc, your mother is-..."

"I know!" He cut him off. "Uncle Iggy told me when I asked why aunt Edi' was crying. He said that mommy is in the box and that's why aunt Edith is crying," he paused as his verbal tears swallowed his words back to allow their passage out. "They put mommy in the dirt! She would have gotten back up, right?"

Teary as well, Rocky shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but no. Your mom died, but she loves you Arc... you know that, don't you?"

The boy nods.

"Okay. You have to hold onto that to keep her memory happy so she won't be sad in Heaven, she doesn't wanna see her darling boy cry."

"But I only got to see her one time."

_'And its all my fault...'_ He thinks wrapping his arms around the boy tighter he couldn't think of anything else to do or say but cry.

"Will you leave me too? Will you only see me one time?"

Shaking his head, Rocky rest his cheek atop the boy's head. "I would like to spend every day of the year with you but I can't."

"Are you sick like mommy?"

"No, I'm not sick. I live in Los Angeles and you live here... I didn't know about you until just this year, its part of the reason that I came here with your cousin- so that I could meet you but... Arc, I could get an apartment and I don't know, maybe you could come live with me or I could move here after school is over. I... really want to be a part of your life but there are so many things that have to happen first, does that make any sense to you?"

"I don't know."

Rocky laughs softly. "That's ok. Just know that, if you want me I will come to you as fast as I can... But, I've never been a parent before so you'll have to help me through it. Can you do that?"

The boy nods.

"Thank you." Rocky can feel his chest becoming lighter all of a sudden. Can this be real? Just like that. Its such a relief and at the same time such a bunble of nerves for the pit of his soul. His mom and dad can help him out surely and at least Arc isn't a baby anymore so he won't have to worry too much about him being left alone at his parents house if he comes back to L.A. with him and Robbie. Can this work out? Him, Rocky Douglas, with a kid? "Arc?"

"Hmm?"

"I got you a present, do you wanna see it?"

Moving back so he can flash his dad an excited face. "What is it?!"

"Its upstairs, come on let's get it." Holding onto the boy he carries him like a backpack, Arc's skinny little limbs wrapped around his waist and neck, up to Robbie's bedroom.

Rocky will be a great father to Arc, not just because he wants to be but because he owes it to the boy for killing his mother. And... he won't let Marissa's memory die in him, Arc loves her so she has to remain a good person to him.

* * The Next Day * *

Rocky is still glowing from yesterday; Arc was like an adorible little sponge clinging to everything he said about his home and his brothers and parents, grandpa especially, he asked if he was like master Splinter. Rocky laughed at that saying that his grampa is pretty close to master Splinter minus the being a rat part. Arc took well to the baby nunchucks copying his moves the best he could while using them and when Rocky said that he would get better with practice, Arc nodded with enthusiasm saying that he promised to practice everyday if Rocky would leave him some notes; which he planned on making a short video for the boy if Robbie has a camera, if not he can make it at home and send it to Arc later.

Fixing the collar around his tie, Rocky looks over his shoulder to the closed bedroom door wondering where Robbie is since he should have been out of the shower a half hour ago. Its the day of the wedding and the ninja can already hear the clatter of the Ballerini family downstairs, more of them coming in as time ticked by. Just how big is Robbie's family? He only knows that Edith had Marissa, as for the father's side its a mystery. They only have Aunt Sabrina since uncle Cliff died of lung cancer and the family wasn't sure if they counted Sean and Evan's adoptive parents as relatives.

The bed room door finally opens and in walks Robbie, dressed in a dark blue suit hair slicked back so much you'd swear-...

Rocky burst into a laugh as the male walks past him to get a tie from his closet.

A knowing smile spreads across the Canadians face as he asks. "What?" He knew Rocky would get a kick out of his mini-pony so he had to do it, even if his hair would scream at him full force later its worth it to hear the ninja laugh.

"I had no idea..." He can hardly keep his laughter back to talk so he instead just grabs the males hair.

"Oh this, yeah, I've got enough for a small ponytail."

That only made Rocky laugh harder. "Your roots must be screaming, take that out." He pulls the band free. "Robbie, this is a no." He shoots the rubber band across the room like a sling shot would.

Laughing, he hands Rocky his tie. "Alright, no ponytails. Here, help me put this on."

"Okay." He continues snickering while helping the male with his tie, and during that takes the sprinkled chaste kisses the Canadian is planting on him. "You really like kissing me, don't you."

"Can you blame me?" He kisses him again. "You taste good."

"Again with that taste thing," Eyes to the ceiling his tongue peeks in and out of his mouth touching his upper and lower lips as though he's trying to taste himself.

"Wow, you're right! What is that kiwi?"

"Oh shut up," Robbie shoves the male away then looks in the mirror beside his closet door. "Am I sharp?"

"Yeah. What about me?" He spreads his arms giving a little turn.

"Red?"

"Cranberry."

"Oh good, then you look fine."

"Oh shut up," He shakes his head smiling. "I think me and Arc are gonna get along great, you know."

"Are you?"

Nodding, he opens the bedroom door. "We talked yesterday... he kind of overheard us talking on the way home, but Marissa sent him a picture and talked about me so he kind of had an idea of who I am."

"And he's ok with it?"

"I think so. He asked if he could still call me scaredy-Rocky, though." He chuckles. "He's got a bit of immaturity in him, kinda reminds me of Sin."

"You mean, _you_, Sin is gone because he's a part of you."

"I know."

"Sometimes I wonder about him."

"Wonder how?"

"Well because he was always stripping for me and kissing me, he made me feel like the king of the throne."

Blinking Rocky said in a dull tone. "Keep thinking like that and we won't be using any of that junk you bought the other day." He leave the room.

"Wait, that's not fair." He follows him out.


	11. Wedding Night

A.N: Thank you very much for the reviews it means so much to me *starts crying*

Warnings: There is hmm in this chapter that's code for sex. Watch out for language and nudity. That's all skip the scene if its not your cup of tea. Thanks for reading.

...

Colt walked the campus grounds with a heavy heart, unsure of which bothered him the most. The thought of his brother being a homosexual as being true, or the fact that he can't seem to trust his brother enough to stop thinking like this. Rocky is the most straight forward, honest person he's ever known. Infact, he would truly be shocked if Rocky ever kept anything to his self.

'Grrr. Stop thinking its the truth because its not!' Colt bellows at himself. Shoving a door open he steps out onto the quad ready to treck to the library, when his path is blocked.

"Colt? Oh my God, it is you. Hi." Maggie waves a hand as though her verbal greeting weren't enough. "I didn't know you'd be on campus yet, this is such a surprise." She pulls the male into a tight hug. Then turning to a girl next to her, she says very casually. "Judy, this is that guy I was telling you about, the one I met at the fast food place" She explains then turns to Colt. "Colt this is Judy, my best friend since kindergarten."

"Nice to meet you!" Greets the blonde with a high ponytail swishing sideways when her head cocks. "Colt is an unusual name."

"Not really, there are people name Colton that have it shortened to Colt, but no, my real name is Jeffrey. Colt is my nickname."

"Oh. I see."

Maggie, listening to the two of them converse, notices a drastic difference in the male she met weeks ago. Hand on his shoulder she turns her attention to her friend. "Judy, we'll see you around, okay?"

"Hmm? Oh sure. It was nice meeting you, again, Colt." The girl bounced away quickly finding someone else that she knows to strike up conversation with.

Eyes now on the male, Maggie asks with a voice full of concern. "What's up? You look like you're about to smash someone's face into a wall."

"Ha ha," Colt spat out a dry laugh. "You read people very well, you know that?" He continues his pace to nowhere; Maggie following behind him.

"Great, now that I've guessed your mood how 'bout telling me what's going on?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because."

Grabbing his elbow she then pulls him to her spinning him around to face her, by shoving his shoulder. "Because why?"

Colt makes a face of inpatients then rolls his eyes. "We can't talk here, if we should be talking about it at all."

"Is it that taboo?" The girl asks once again following after the moving male.

"It is."

"Ok, but... Colt. This thing has obviously got you beyond upset, and its really better that you talk about it or it will fester in you like a virus."

Colt scoffed in a laugh.

"No its true. I'm majoring in psychology; I see the signs all over the place."

Pausing in his steps he drops his head in defeat. He doesn't want this to make him a basket case. Inhaling he grabs the girl's watch covered wrist. "Come on, like I said, we can't talk about it here."

"Alright." She allows him to lead her to his room.

...

The door closes behind them and Colt sits her down on his bed; he switched the mattress from his single with the one that Robbie uses, while he takes a seat on his brother's bed. "What I'm about to tell you, you can't talk about with anyone else. Got it?"

Nodding, the girl leans forward so that Colt can whisper this taboo thing without it going any further than the short distance between them. The walls tend to be paper thin when it comes to gossip and what not in this place. She would know, the night her brother passed everyone in school knew due to someone spreading that they had overheard the conversation; it wasn't bad that they had sympathy for her but it was bad that they were in her business. She never did find out who the person was that leaked the information that was so personal to her. "Of course, go ahead."

"I have an older brother who has been through some of the worst shit in the world last year; he was abducted by some crazy girl he had met when he was in high school."

"Wait. Rocky Douglas is your brother?" She asks in shock mostly.

"Yeah."

"My God, that was all over the news this year and last, I had no idea." Blinking, she looks Colt in the eye asking. "He's alright, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's doing better as far as we know but, the thing that's bothering me, isn't the kidnapping or his behavior... its something he might be doing in result of that."

"Such as?"

"My brother has this roommate, named Robbie, and" He swallows over a dry throat, wetting his lips as he steadies himself to say it out-loud to someone else other than Tum. "I think he and my brother have become lovers."

"You mean he's gay?"

"No!" He barks then lowers his voice shaking his head. "Yes," Shaking his head again he replies. "I don't know. Maybe. A girl, that's dating this dick that used to harass me and my brother back when we were kids, told him she heard them and he told his friends, and they told me."

Mind spinning she smiles. "Come on, Colt. That's a lot of he said-she said. Its probably not true."

"That's what I keep trying to convince myself of, but this isn't just fabricated stuff. Someone said they heard them and I don't know why she would make this up- its too random."

Arms folded over her stomach, she says thoughtfully. "Well what does your brother have to say about it?"

"That's the thing, I haven't heard from him since he went on this little vacation with Robbie."

"Vacation? ...I can see why you're so concerned but, Colt... Rocky would tell you if something were wrong, don't you think so?"

Colt shrugs. "I honestly don't know. I want to believe that he would tell us- the family, but then again Rocky might keep this a secret, especially knowing how everyone is gonna take it."

"So, if you think he's gonna lie to you all... show him kindness and understanding and he won't feel the need to hide his feelings from you. But Colt, how do you plan on taking the news if he does tell you that he's gay?"

Eyes closed, Colt can feel the tears stinging his eyes. "I'd have to hate him. I can't love him if he's gay."

Scoffing, the girl touches his shoulder. "Are you serious? He's your brother, though."

"It doesn't matter, this is... this is beyond blood because it betrays it." Colt opens his eyes that shine from tears welling and falling over to his cheeks. He can't imagine having to hate Rocky, he doesn't even like feeling that he does. But how can he love a gay brother? What would it mean between them for Rocky to be that way? Things will never be the same. "It betrays it because its wrong, and goes against everything we were brought up on. Rocky liking guys..." He can't even finish the sentence. "What if I'm looked at the same way if I decide to defend him, huh?"

"Hmhm." Pulling the male over to the bed with her Maggie kisses him on the cheek. "Then I'd tell them that his girlfriend is going to kick their asses. Colt, no one will think you're gay because of your brother, and chances are he's not gay. This gossip is just making some chatter around this dull place, it'll die down if its even started up yet. You seem to be the only one that knows for the time being."

"Yeah, and I just hope it stays that way."

...

The wedding has been a beautiful event from the moment they arrived through to the reception. The wedding party is dressed in a lovely ivory white accented with a rich plum purple wiring around the skirt matched to solid plum gloves. Chiki, Robbie's soon to be aunt, is just a wonderful person; her laughter could be heard from the dressing room all the way to the chapel where the guest are seated. Children are dashing about the aisle playing tag between the seats, the teens have eyes rolling while trying to text friends or they're sharing secrets and giggling about them once the message is passed on.

Feeling his hip vibrate, Rocky reaches into the pocket of his suit's pants pulling out his phone. "Hm." He intoned flipping the phone open. "Its Tum," He says to his boyfriend's questioning gaze. "Hey Tum, what's going on?"

"Eeeee-aaaaa!" A kid squealed while trying to squeeze between Rocky's knees and the back seat of the pew infront of him.

Turning his legs to the side to let the child through, he tossed a quick glance around the room looking for Arc who's somewhere in the fray of the chaos. "Wait- what did you say?" He returns his attention to his youngest brother.

"I said that something's come up; when are you coming home?"

"Um, tomorrow morning- early, why? What's happened?" His voice is concern thinking his mother had an accident or his father's been shot again. It happened once before on a case and it was frightening to think about losing the man.

"...Rocky, I don't wanna ask this but... I have to be blunt."

"If this is serious, Tum Tum just tell me." Rocky insists.

"Its Colt. He's got this crazy idea in his head that you and Robbie are together, together-together, like you've been intimate."

Rocky could feel his mouth going dry. Swallowing his voice that tried to escape him so he would not speak back inside his throat, he says gently. "Michael, repeat to me exactly what he said."

First name always means business.

"I can't remember but roughly, Baha- Darren's friend, made some big deal out of something that he said to him about you and Robbie. I told Colt that you aren't gay when he asked me outright. Is that ok- should I not have answered at all?"

"No, its fine." Gaze at Robbie, who is tugging at his shoulder, he understands that the male is telling him to follow him to a quieter place. Nodding he stands to follow him. "Hold on a second, I'm going where there's less noise."

The two make a shaky path out of the room and down the hall to a small bathroom.

Noticing the furthering silence Tum speaks again. "Rocky, someone says they heard you two, so- is it true? Are you and Robbie..." He swallows hesitant to say it. "Lovers? Because when you spoke to me at the park you said that you weren't sure what you were feeling... but you did ask if I would still care about you."

"Tum tum, you have nothing to worry about. I'm straight, plain and simple, but if you're asking me if Robbie and I have been intimate... then yes. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I love him and for the time being he and I are seeing each other until we get back to L.A. No one knows... and no one gets hurt."

"No, don't even worry about me bro- you know I love you no matter what... but Colt seems really pissed about it, like fight induced pissed."

"I'll handle that when I get home. Our plane leaves at three a.m."

"Okay. I'll try to soothe the beast out of Colt if he keeps sniffing around."

"Thank you."

"Yeah well, you've bailed me out of a lot of crap over the years when we run around helping the world, and Colt's off playing 'the loner' card. I owe you some."

Rocky snickered.

"And for what its worth... its nice to see you getting gutsy, I mean, not physically nice... I don't think I'd wanna see my brother kissing a guy or anything, but its nice in moderation."

Again Rocky laughed.

"So, what have you been up to? Did you meet Arc? Is he cool, or a brat... because I don't wanna brag about being an uncle to a brat."

"Naah, he's actually really cool about everything- me being his dad, life, just everything. I can't wait for him to meet you guys."

"Is he coming back with you?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask him about it specifically... he only just found out yesterday that I'm his father."

"Oh."

"Aside from that, I'm good; Robbie's family is insane on the outside but really sweet on the inside."

Robbie laughed about that. "No we're not."

"He's there with you right now? Put him on," Tum says.

"Okay. Tum wants to talk to you." He hands him his cellphone.

Taking it, looking quite shocked, Robbie answers. "Hello?"

"Listen you, you'd better be taking care of my brother or I'll murderalize you when you least expect it." The yellow ninja snipped in a mock serious tone.

"Yes sir. I promise to love, cherish, and obey your brother until Connecticut do we part."

Chuckling Tum retorts. "You'd better. And thanks, I like hearing my brother happy."

"So do I. Are we done with the threats dungeon warden?"

"Yeah, I'll let you off for now. Put Rocky back on."

Handing the phone to the blond, he spots his uncle coming down the hall. Tapping Rocky on the shoulder he starts away.

"Okay." He says to Robbie. "Tum, the wedding is about to start, can you make this quick?"

"Just wanted to say good bye, and see you when you get home."

"Yeah. Bye." Hanging up he follows after the brunet.

...

Aside from the men there isn't a dry eye in the house after the ceremony, but the tears stop when they arrive at the reception hall where you either located a table to have the meal, or stood on the little platform to give speeches. The room is lavishly decorated in the color theme and each table has a candlelit center-piece of white roses and silver plastic stars. The silverware is beautiful, the China plates just breath-taking, and everywhere in the room flashes from Kodak camera's are going off.

"Sit by me scaredy Rocky." Arc takes his hand dashing to the tiny table for the children.

"Uhhh," Seeing the itty-bitty chairs the male hesitates.

"How 'bout you come sit with us buddy?" Robbie suggests picking the kid up.

"Okay!" Tossing his arms around his cousin like a little monkey hugging a tree limb, he's kicks his legs freely while being carried bridal style over to the table.

The meal is being served by men dressed in tuxedo and white gloves; the meals itself is made up of mashed potatoes, green beans- sauteed, and a well seasoned piece of pork; Rocky's never heard of having pork at a wedding, it seems odd to him, but its delicious so he can't complain. Arc must have dropped more food on himself and Rocky's knees than he got into his mouth- which, thankfully, he had the foresight to set a napkin down over both of them before letting his son sit on his lap to eat. Arc has his own plate beside the ninja's.

"Will you eat my greens?" Arc asks once done with the diced hunks of pork.

"Tell you what, you've got sixteen pieces on your plate, if you eat four... I'll take the rest, deal?"

He thought it over. "How much is does it look like?"

With his fork Rocky separates the amount. "That much."

"Okay." Grabbing them all in his hand the boy stuffs the four into his mouth biting off as much as he can, chewing it with a displeased cringe. Dropping the handful, he eats only one then. "These are good, I think they have cheese on them."

Taking one himself Rocky chews it with a nod, "I think you're right." though, he's sure there is no cheese on them he'll let Arc think so if it helps him eat it.

Tilting his head back to look at his father Arc says. "Do you wanna play a game? Its fun."

"Alright. Which game?"

Smiling the boy says right off. "We're going on a picnic and we have to bring something,"

"Oh God." Robbie snickers.

Glancing the brunet's way Rocky continues listening to Arc.

"I'm gonna bring apples. Your turn."

"Ummm oranges."

"Nope."

"Nope. What nope?"

Laughing the boy replies. "You can't bring oranges."

"Is that not picnic food or something?"

"Cousin Ivan?"

"How 'bout an igloo." Robbie replies with a cheeky grin.

"There are no igloo's at a picnic." Rocky interrupts.

"My turn... ummm angel cake!"

Figuring its his turn, though, he hates that sneaky smile on his boyfriend's face he says. "I don't know how igloo's have right of passage but ummm, napkins."

"Nope! Ivan."

"Insects."

"Apes."

Rocky thought for a moment then, thinking he's got an upper hand, says. "Apples."

Robbie and Arc laugh hysterically.

Blushing from their laughter Rocky shakes his head laughing out. "You guys suck."

Leaning sideways he whispers into Rocky's ear.

Mouth agape as he listens he asks. "Seriously? Arc, gimme another turn, okay?"

"Okay."

"To the picnic I would bring raisins."

"Yay!" Kicking his feet happily, he starts in on some more string beans.

"You're such a cheeky little sneak for not telling me its a pattern game."

"Yeeeah, but what was the pattern."

"First name initials." He sticks his tongue out.

"Only cause cousin Ivan told you. Wanna play again?"

"Sure."

At the next table a brunette with heavy freckles bites her bottom lip as she eyes the ninja from across the table. "Rocky is so cute." Says Louisa, the male's new cousin, to Corin who's seated beside her. "Whose side is he on?"

Nearly choking on her bite, Corin swallows hard. "He's, well... its complicated but he's not related to anyone but Arc."

Cocking a brow, she then asks. "So then what's he doing here?"

"He's Ivan's 'plus one'."

Wide-eyed, Louisa asks. "Like his date?"

Corin only shrugged, unsure herself of that answer.

"You wanna, like, go ask him?"

Shaking her head Corin shyly looks down at the table. Third person today to whisper to her that Rocky is cute- like she doesn't know that. But its insane to like him, she can't anyway because of Arc and Ivan and well of course her mother with all she's done to him, what would it look like- infact, how can Ivan be so bold as to date Rocky knowing that.

"I'm asking." Getting up from the table she walks around the one she's seated at to the one behind her table. "Hey," Once she has his attention Louisa continues. "are you two together like a couple?"

Taken aback by the sudden question Robbie answers. "Yeah."

"Aaaw shoot! Because your boyfriend is really cute, you know," Leaning over the table she whispers to said male. "if you ever change your mind call me."

Watching the girl's departure with an amused smile at her choice of walking style, Rocky says. "Bold isn't she. I don't even have her number," He then laughs.

Smiling, Robbie nudges his lover's arm. "Look at you taking public recognition like a pro; the talk with your brother really helped, huh?"

"It did. I feel almost pressured by it since this is our last night as a couple."

"Say no more, I've got it all planned out."

"Oh really,"

"Yeah, why do you think it took so long to come back from the store? I was plotting and scheming."

"Hey, hey language." He points down at Arc.

"I know, that was a as far as I planned to tell you." He sticks his tongue out. "So there."

Around the room speeches are given, some funny, some enough to make you cry, and others just fell flat but by the end of it everyone is given a piece of the most choco-holic piece of cake man has to offer; Arc was trying to work on his third piece around the time Rocky and Robbie are ready to leave after having danced together and apart for a while.

"Arc, Robbie and I are heading out and we won't see you tomorrow morning, but this isn't the last time you'll hear from me or see me, okay? I'm gonna keep in contact with you and come to see you whenever I can- or have you come to see me. How does that sound?"

"It sounds confusing." He offers Rocky a bite of cake from his fork. "Are you going home?"

Rocky nods, since he has a mouth full of cake.

"Bye." And the boy returned to his cake as if Rocky hadn't said anything at all.

"Now get outta here, that's what he's saying to me." Rocky laughs. Kissing the boy on top of his head. "Bye bye, Arc."

"See ya." Robbie says.

"Bye cousin Ivan."

"I win, I was addressed." He teases. "I'm gonna see my mom and then we can go."

"Okay." Taking a seat beside the boy, Rocky looks about the dance floor at all the smiling happy people. Robbie's brother Mark waves to him and he waved back in return.

Robbie is an only child but Mark is considered Robbie's big brother because he's stuck by the boy since third grade when their class had been assigned to befriend a younger student: reading to them, playing with them, saying 'hello', little things like that and Mark and Robbie just sort of stayed together even after elementary school let out. Mark is 3 years older than Robbie.

"Rocky?" Says Corin at his side.

"Hmm?" After a second of still looking about the room he turns his gaze to her. "What's up?"

"I... I wondered if you wanted a picture with Arc. I mean, you don't have any and I doubt my aunt would part with one so," Waving a hand for him to scoot closer to the male, she holds up her camera. "Picture?"

"Sure, thanks."

"Arc, scoot over to Rocky for a picture."

Perking up, he stands on the bench. "Can I make a monster face?"

"You can make a monster face in one, but you have to smile in the other one."

"Okay!" Pulling out his cheeks he sticks his tongue out, drooping his eyes for added effect.

"Ooh, spooky." Rocky teases but doing as his son does he makes a goofy face as well.

Once the flash goes off, Corin waits for the light then holds the camera up again. "Okay, now nice smiles."

"We'll make peace signs okay?" Suggests the ninja. "Like this." He instructs.

Copying Arc puts on a wide, cake mouthed, grin. "Cheeeeeeeese."

"Cheeeeese." Says Rocky.

When the picture snaps Corin stamps her foot. "Ivan where did you come from?"

Blinking the flash from his vision her cousin replies. "I come from anywhere to beautify a hideous photo."

"I'm not ugly, I'm a monster." Arc corrects.

"I thought you were a Power Ranger?" He tossles the boys hair.

"When Rita doesn't take over me."

"Aaa, of course. You ready to go?" He asks Rocky.

"Yeah. Bye Corin."

"Bye. Bye cous'."

"See ya sucka." Kissing her on the cheek Robbie takes his boyfriend's hand walking to the exit.

Walking down the hall, the sounds of the festivities dying behind them Rocky looks up at the night sky once they're outside and he wonders what will happen once they get home. Will being friends be hard after this? Are his feelings gonna change and he'll wish this whole thing never happened at all? Too many questions wanting answers, which means it was time to turn his brain off and just let the moment happen as it happens- if that's possible.

"So, you've got it all planned out. Wanna tell me what it is exactly? Is it the perfect date or just a hot bang in the car somewhere on the road." He joked about the last part.

"No, but could we?" He teased right back.

"...Nooo. Come on, tell me what it is- I hate surprises."

"I know. But I'm embarrassed to say that I've never exactly" He makes air quotes. "dated a guy before, I've only ever fooled around and that was the end of it, so its kind of... kinda feminine for two guys."

"Ahahaha, how bad could it be?"

"Strawberries, drinks, and a gift." He made a face like he expected a stab coming.

Laughing, Rocky nods. "That's pretty bad... So what, though. I like fruit, drinks, and who would be against presents."

"So then you're not mad?"

"Naaah. I'd probably do the same thing, I've never even been with a male beyond you so I have even less experience; I've just been 'fooled' around with." He chuckles at Robbie's choice of word.

They climb into the cab, changing the subject of their coupling to music like it were breathing, waiting out the ride to the hotel. Rocky paid the cab fair since Robbie's been paying for pretty much everything else since they got to Connecticut, and he said that he got him a gift which Rocky prayed wasn't anything too expensive, he would feel terrible having the goofy Canadian spending oodles of cash on him.

In the hotel room fifteen minutes later. Rocky left the bathroom, toweling his hair dry; spotting Robbie over by the large window he cocks his head to one side. He's never seen someone look cute even from behind, its weird to have feelings like that because Robbie's just standing there, hands on the large glass window, one hand up higher than the other.

'Its such an innocent act that it just makes me smile... at the same time, I can't help but feel really... sad. He doesn't seem like he's happily standing there but simply standing there.' Head lowered he walks over to the bed taking a seat beside; the ordered snack of strawberries and what sparkling cider, thankfully, not alcohol are set beside the bed. Smiling with a berry up to his lips, Rocky says. "My view is pretty nice too."

Looking over his shoulder, Robbie's laughter clouds the glass for a quick second but it dissipates shortly after. Turning he leans his butt against the glass, arms crossed over his chest, and brow cocked as he takes in the sight of Rocky in nothing but a fluffy white robe. "Hmm, naaah I think I win in that bet."

"Mhmm. Go ahead and shower so we can get this done, we've only got three hours before our flight which means we only, really, have two hours."

Moving away from the window he strides over to his lover. "You make it sound so romantic." Leaning over he gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "Gimme fifteen?"

"Okay."

"Alright." Backing away he starts across the room.

"Wait!"

"Hm?"

Turning, he re-positions himself on the bed so that his back is against the headboard and his legs are laying long ways; gesturing with his hand for the Canadian to stand at the foot of the bed, Rocky relaxes his mind by closing his eyes and once opening them he starts to strip his lover's clothes away with his mind. First the suit's jacket; and Robbie catches his breath at the feeling of hands at his shoulders pushing his jacket away. The item of clothing falls to the floor with a whizzing sound, next came the tie it was a bit harder to manipulate since he had to undo a knot without really seeing it, but it soon fell away from the male as well. Third came the buttons on the male's shirt, Rocky popped the first three open but he moves his attention away from the task settling his mental focus on Robbie's pants. The belt is unfastened and literally flung into a wall on the other side of the room, next the zipper came down at a slow taunting pace over the growing bulge in the Canadian's pants. Rocky chuckles quietly at Robbie's racing breaths as he continues undressing him; the cuffs are popped open once Robbie has stepped out of his pants and socks, now he's left with only his boxer shorts and dress shirt. Mental hands caress the males chest pinching at his covered nipples; Robbie closed his eyes shuddering.

"Make it five." Rocky says when releasing his hold on the male.

"Fi-..." He nods barely getting the word out. Practically ripping his shorts and shirt away the Canadian dashes to the bathroom.

Laughing Rocky returns to the berry he was eating reaching for the cider with his free hand, humming 'happy birthday' which popped up in his head out of nowhere. Waiting out the five minutes Robbie took showering he poured them drinks and located some cologne from Robbie's bag. He's always liked the smell the male chose to wear from the first time they went clubbing and he smelled it on him; giving it a light spritz out into airspace he walks through the vapor cloud before returning the bottle into the bag then walks over to the bed climbing back in. Humming still going on, he eats another strawberry really enjoying the choice of sugar on it instead of whipped cream; strawberries can be so sour sometimes that cream is hardly the best choice of sweetener.

Covering Rocky's eyes with his hands he whispers. "Mind reader. You spoiled my surprise." Sitting beside him on his legs Robbie grabs a berry popping the entire thing into his mouth. "Aaa I love sugar." He says around the bite.

"Yeah." Handing his lover a glass of the sparkling drink, he sips his own before setting it down. "I can't help it, sometimes really strong thoughts jump into my head- so what's with the birthday tune anyway?"

Chugging his drink he sets the glass down beside Rocky's. "I got you something for your birthday, since I missed it last year because of... well anyway I-.."

"I missed your birthday this year by being away at school, I should be the one belated birthdaying you."

Waving it off he says quickly. "Forget about me, I wanna do nice stuff for you."

"Jerk." Replies the ninja.

Crawling to the end of the bed he reaches for his pants pulling out a small velvet box from the pocket, inching back up he hands the box to the ninja. "Here you are."

Opening the box Rocky is bewildered at first but then his eyes soften and he huffs out a light laugh. "An anchor necklace."

Shrugging as though it were no big deal, he explains his reason. "You said that you forgave my aunt for what she did, even if you don't forgive the thing itself and you did it because of me."

"You're my anchor." He nods.

"I wanna continue to be that even after we're apart."

Giving the Canadian the necklace that he's removed from the box; Robbie helps him put it on. "I should break your arm for making me teary eyed."

"I should break your arm for forcing me to give you strip tease when my pace is fine the way it is."

They snicker.

"Thank you for this, really. I don't wear jewelry just, you know, wristbands from childhood friends giving them to me but, I'm gonna wear this."

Tipping forward he kisses the necklace against the ninja's collarbone, then he kisses him on the lips before hugging him with one arm resting against him. Rocky hugs him back sitting in the silence until...

"Robbie, we're about the same size aren't we?"

"...I don't know." His voice is muffled since his face is still in the pillow below Rocky's head. "It might be a bit tight on you."

"That's alright, if its alright with you."

"Hn. What are you saying?" He sits up.

"I can't go out to buy you anything but I can give you something that you really want."

"You don't have to-.."

"Yeah but I want to, I actually had planned to while we were dancing earlier. If this is it... then it should be special."

Dipping his hand beyond the male's robe he caresses his boyfriend's abs to his chest and kissing Rocky's neck, he then scoots over so that he's resting on top him. Rocky parts his robe at the bottom, as well as Robbie's. The two grind heavily into one another, slowly, clean skin on clean skin warming against each other. Though their hips are moving more steadily now, their mouths continue to kiss softly with tongues just teasing to come out to mingle with the other person's. Low sighs and passionate moans separate their lips and the hunger in their hips drives stronger movement from them while they breathe in and out, foreheads together, breaths mingling; Robbie unties their robes one at a time pushing them open completely. When Rocky arches from the bed his robe uncovers the tattoo on his chest; the sight of it was enticing, black against Rocky's pale skin, Robbie's cool for pace was slipping due to that, and his tongue fucked its way into the ninja's mouth, thrust after thrust, getting full participation from tongue and teeth.

"Please, now." Robbie shudders out. Though he's lost in the movement, making it impossible for Rocky to retrieve the needed items to do as his lover is pleading.

Grips on each other tightening they have at their grind session another five minutes, and when Robbie's mouth cruised down his body stopping and the pelvis before coming back up; the Douglas male is finally able to get the bottle of lubricant and the condoms.

"You've gotta-" His words are cut off by a kiss. "back up so I can put it on." Says the blond receiving three more hard kisses before the brunet pulled back. Catching his breath he scoots aside to sit against the headboard, fingers fumbling with the package he then locates the tear open slice pulling it aside, removing the condom from inside he swallows hard before getting up the nerve to slip it on.

Sensing his hesitation, Robbie says in a low voice. "You don't have to do it if you're still nervous about it." Hand touching the red covering, its quickly taken away from him.

"No. I can do it." Just as he's about to cover himself he notices how bright it is in the room due to the lamps still being on, on top of that he also notices Robbie's fascinated gaze on his lower region. Suddenly shy he covers his member quickly, being sure that he put the condom on correctly, though, then he reaches for the lamp.

"What are you doing?" He stops his boyfriend's hand.

"I'm turning off the lamp."

"Why? Am I repulsive? Afraid you'll change your mind if you realize you're with a male?" He almost taunted the blond.

"...A little." He glares as if to say 'and so what?'.

Still straddled around the males hips he stands on his knees. "Do you think I'm gross?"

"You know I don't."

"Well okay," Sliding his robe off he drops it beside him; holding his sex in his hand loosely he asks. "then does this make you sick?"

Wetting his mouth slowly, he carefully thinks about the question while looking at the very thing the question is about. "Uncovered? A little, I mean, its not anything to do with you but more like... it. I know what happens with that- bathrooms and all." He explains.

"Ahahaha." He continues to laugh.

"I'm glad that you find it so funny."

Sitting down he retrieves his robe slipping it on. "My love, you'll be happy to know that I have thoroughly cleaned and prepared myself in hopes that maybe tonight I could talk you into doing me." He blushed at that.

Snickering Rocky grabs a handful of the brunet's robe pulling him in for a kiss. "Now I think you're gross."

"Say what you will, but all you have to do is slide in."

"Won't it still hurt, unless you've done this before?"

Shaking his head he says admittedly. "I've always been a top man, I've never dated any of the males because I always thought that it would be too weird- plus, none of them were interested in me that way." He shrugs. "But looking at life now, I'm glad I never did."

"You and you're cursed smooth talking; do you wanna?..." He trails off holding the bottle of lubricant out to the male.

"Sure."

Uncapping the bottle the musty smell of White Mist drifted through the room mixing with the blond's borrowed cologne; the intoxicating scents brought the mood back to them. Rocky wraps his arms around the male's back through the open robe and with his fingers he rakes over Robbie's spine. A fevered kiss resumes and both men are humming pleasured hums from the fingering and the lubricated massage. When Robbie thought it was well enough he gave a little stretching to himself to be sure he'd done alright while showering before he took position and inched his way down.

"Be careful because it hurts." Rocky whispered into his lovers ear.

"Okay." Biting his bottom lip, he presses his eyes shut glad that Rocky is sucking his neck so he won't see the pained face- if he makes one. "Ahhh!" He cried out when his wall is broken. "Shit, that does hurt." He declared digging his nails into Rocky's shoulder and side.

"I'm sorry." Rocky kissed him tenderly on his cheek.

Turning his head, Robbie kisses him back in order to distract himself as he adjusted his hips to a more comfortable position; moving them slowly up then down, he can't help the winces and tenses until it begins to feel much better.

'I hope that whatever part of my aunt it was that went insane is suffering for doing this to you so violently,' Thinks the Canadian. 'because if gentle hurts then I can't image what it must have been like by force.' Unhappy from his momentary distraction of thoughts, he looks Rocky in those beautiful eyes of his and gives him an extra sweet kiss on the lips. "I'm ready when you are."

Rolling them over so Robbie is laying down on the bed, Rocky pulls Robbie's knees up about his hips; when Robbie wrapped his legs around his waist... carefully, and slowly, Rocky moves into and out of his boyfriend until Robbie's grunts of pain turn into pants and sighs of pleasure. He wouldn't dare enjoy the warm feeling around him without the Canadian being there with him.

Moaning, Robbie begs. "Please move faster." He arches from the bed when his wish is granted.

The passionate entwined dance lasted for as long as they could stand being blinded by pleasure. Robbie couldn't clutch Rocky any harder than he was, and he was sure that his koala grip around his body would bruise his lover all kinds of purples and reds, but the pleasure was intense, it was numbing, heady, desperate, and wanton. Robbie literally wanted to engulf the male into his body with each press in, but the outgoing tug was fire... That easy comfortable slap of skin would forever be drilled in his brain, along with the delicate soundtrack of his blond lover moaning and panting in his ear and neck.

The end all of the romp for Robbie happened the moment the ninja's shaking hand latched onto his member, caressing it in time with his thrust. It meant a lot to Robbie because he knew that touching was not the blond's strong suit when it came to sex being involved, but he stuck it out and did it, though, he pulled away when he had whispered, name knowing the end was near. For Rocky it was just being there that was his demise, feeling Robbie's body contorting around him whenever he felt maximum pleasure because of his hitting him in the right way, and when it was over they lay together using the last few minutes of time they had to rest. But there, wrapped in the blond's arms laying on his chest Robbie felt uneasy as he looked at the large window.

"Rocky?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." Looking at the clock wondering how long they had been asleep, Robbie sits up. "Ready to go? We can take a quick shower together to save time."

Looking at him with uncertainty of what the male wanted to say to him he nods. "Sure."


	12. Boiling underneath

A.N: Thank you so much for reading reviews of any kind are always wanted, I just ask that it be constructive critism though if you wanna rant hahaha I don't mind that either. But I would like to do this for a living and you help me know that I'm doing ok. Thank you. Lighter.

..............

Rocky and Robbie walk quietly down the hall, suitcases in hand to their once shared room. Colt no doubt has moved in and probably moved Robbie out in the most extreme way he could think of, especially now if he suspects anything is going on between the two of them and as Tum says he isn't exactly happy about it. Well, Colt can lay his suspicions and anger aside since the two have parted emotional ways the moment they stepped off the plane and business faces up, they return to the school ready to resume campus life again.

The ninja couldn't help but have a ton of questions stowing themselves away in his heart, starting with what Robbie was thinking of when looking out the window at the hotel that would make him so upset. I mean, they can't talk about it as a couple but he saw no reason why friends could not discuss it, that is what friends are for, after all.

"...Robbie-..." Rocky starts to say but is cut off from the rest by said male.

"Well, the hall isn't litered with my stuff." Smiling he says. "That's a good sign, right?"

"Colt knows better, he wouldn't have tossed your stuff into the hall." Opening the door after unlocking it, he steps inside the room.

"Ahaha, is he kidding?" Robbie notices the posters of bikini clad girls right away, one of them particularly fetching in a hard hat and 'bug' sunglasses covered in police tape.

"I'm assuming he just bought these, there's no way he could have hidden them from our mom for too long." Dropping his suitcase to the bed, he then heads straight for the bathroom.

Sighing with a glum feeling in his heart as reality further sets in, he scans the room with his eyes for his stuff. Spotting a large enough box he walks over to it, kneeling down he pulls open the flaps to peek inside.

The door opened behind him as Colt stepped into the room, books in hand. Seeing the Canadian, his back to him kneeling beside his junk Colt couldn't help but glare. This jackass that currupted his brother is just sitting there as though he's done nothing. Does he even have a clue the sully he's placed on the family name? Does he care? Or is everyone in his family as sick as he is? He's probably the product of two women or in this case two men raising him.

Growling the ninja stalks over to the unexpecting male lifting his fist to strike him when....

"Back off." Growled his brother suddenly directly between him and his target.

Momentarily startled by the furiocious look in his brother's eye when he spoke Colt regained his composure when the murderous look removed itself just as quickly as it came. The look only made Colt wonder more if the rumors are true.

"Hm?" Turning around he stands shocked to see Colt standing in the room moreso to see Rocky infront of him. "Ha," He laughs in disbelief. "ninjas really are awesome, huh? I didn't even hear you come in."

"Shut up." Colt snapped.

Taken aback, Robbie picks up the box from the floor. "Did I do something wrong?"

"You tell me, brown noser, do anything interesting lately? Like maybe take advantage of a truama victim?"

"Excuse me?" Robbie blinked.

"Watch it, Colt." His brother hisses.

Colt merely shrugged turning on his heels to take a seat at the desk. He actually wished it could have been more casual than it came off as, since sincerly he was actually getting away from the blood lust look in his brother's eyes. _'Calm down Colt, you can ask him once that creep is gone. Then you'll see that it was only there because no one in their right mind can stand being called a fag.'_

Feeling the static in the air, Robbie shrugs. "Oookay, I'm just gonna go now. See you around Rock'."

"Bye."

The Canadian heads to the door but pauses. "Which room is it?" He asks Colt.

"Guess."

"Funny. Come on, I'll be out of your hair a lot sooner if you just tell me."

Colt only scoffed then opened a text book finding that more interesting then the conversation.

"Its 20D." Says Rocky sounding very sore at his brother for making him have to take the answer from him.

Blinking Colt asks. "How did you?" But then he remembered that his brother isn't like everyone else.

"Thanks. See ya." Heading out of the room, Robbie closes the door after himself.

"We need to talk." Says Rocky sitting on his once lovers bed to be closer to his brother so they're not yelling. Colt tended to use his outside voice whenever they were in heated discussions.

"Yeah, we do." Colt chided. He could almost taste his anger he feels so bitter towards this conversation. "I want you tell me why I found condoms under your mattress?"

"Condoms?" Rocky thinks for a moment then smiles. "You're kidding me, right? What college male doesn't have condoms in their room- ever hear of _just incase_?"

"Yeah, that makes sense enough if it were anyone else but you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Remember that time I asked you about... you know, how to do it so that- well anyway, you said that you're not a sexual person and you avoid doing that at all cost. So then why the condoms?"

"Okay, its true that I'm not a very sexual person but I can be and when I am its better that I'm prepared, and look its a three pack and not a one is used is it?"

Colt hadn't thought of that.

"Why are you so interested in my sex life anyway?" Cocking a brow he asks smuggly. "Don't tell me you want more tips from your big brother? Colt if you haven't figured it out by now your reputation is gonna hit a low."

"Ha ha." He shoves his brother on the shoulder. "Its not that, its just something stupid I heard about..." He trailed off.

Rocky knew exactly what that something stupid was, but he would rather Colt come out with it instead of bringing up the conversation himself. Rocky believes strongly in guts and courage to do and be anything, and even when he strays a bit from his own teachings he will always find his way back.

"...Well? What's got you all strung out?" He coaxes.

"Baha, you remember him?"

Nodding Rocky grabs his suitcase pulling it closer to him to begin unpacking. He noticed that Robbie left his suitcase behind making a note to return it to him if he doesn't come for it his self.

"Darren told him something and I don't know, being a messanger to piss me off he told me what it was."

"You're being vague."

"Rocky, Darren is running around campus saying that you and Robbie are _sleeping_ together."

Playing it cool Rocky nods. "We were bond to fall asleep at the same time one or two nights, we are roommates after all."

"That's not what I meant," Colt could feel his anger rising again. "I mean he said that you and him were sleeping together, like having sex."

"What, was he hiding out somewhere in the room? Did he _see_ this alleged sexcapade going on, or was he just making things up because he was bored and you're an easy target when it comes to getting worked up reactions."

"Laugh if you will, he sounded pretty sure of it. Darren told Baha that his girlfriend had heard you, can you deny that?"

"No. I can't. But I can say that she might have heard the two of us talking; these walls could be paper thin, our talking could have blended in with someone having sex and she just let her imagination run wild. Without visual proof you're just kind of making allegations." Pulling out his clothes he stuff them into the drawer once filled with his and Robbie's clothes now has a few shirts and jeans from his brother. The change will set in eventually but right now he can't help but feel a bit of longing.

Suitcase empty he walks it to the closet dropping it inside.

"Any more questions? Or am I cleared?"

"Yeah, and hey I'm sorry for accussing you of being... you know, but Baha was just so convinsing."

"That's how they are, you know that by now. Just don't take what they say too seriously and you'll be good."

"Yeah yeah.... so what was it like?" His fingers are fiddling with the corner of his notebook.

Busying himself around the room Rocky questions. "What was what like? Conneticut? The harsh cold winds? Having a son? What?"

"You know, I mean, Robbie's got same sex parents. Was it weird seeing it?"

Pausing his activity, he cocks his head. "What?"

"Well, for him to be gay he must-..."

"Okay Colt, you're obviously never gonna get off this kick so I'll tell you... Robbie has a normal mother and father just like we do- well, maybe not _just_ like we do because they, I don't know, they're so chill about everything... it almost seems like they don't care about each other but in that I can tell they really do. Its beautiful." He then resumes his mending the room. Colt sure did a number on relaxing in the place during such a short amount of time spent in it. He hoped his brother wasn't going to be a messy roommate.

"Well, it figures they'd be weird in some way." Colt shrugs. "But yeah, what was Arc like?"

"He's awesome, he's taken to calling me scaredy-Rocky because I kinda flipped out seeing his sister."

"Flipped out?" He moves to the bed seeing his brother sit on his own.

Colt had taken the mattress from his new room, with help, and brought it in here giving Robbie the one he uses.

"You're not gonna believe this but Corin looks exactly like Maria to a scary degree."

"You're kidding? No wonder you freaked out."

"But here's the messed up part, Corin is the one that has the blonde hair and scary blue eyes, Marissa, her mother is a brunette. She stole her daughters looks confusing onlookers into thinking that Corin is really what she looked like."

"That's sick."

"Yeah, can you imagine me pointing her out, having her go to jail because of her mother who would be free to continue tormenting me."

"Was she nice? Did she hate you or say anything?"

Rocky shakes his head. "She was really nice, had a mean streak, though, I could tell because when one of her cousin's insulted Arc she chewed his head off for it. I mean she really went at him. ...Also," He trailed off.

"What?"

"Corin kinda helped me get over what happened to me."

Wide-eyed Colt asks. "Did you sleep with her?"

"No," He waved off the comment. "she just knew that I needed closure and she gave me that. I got it all out, everything I couldn't ask or wanted to know I just dumped it on her by seeing her as Maria."

A faint smile crossed the other boys face. "That's good. I'm glad she could help you, although, its kinda morbid if you think about it too hard."

"I don't think so."

After a moments silence Colt says. "So do they know that their son is gay?"

"Oh my goooood!!!!" Rocky groaned. "Colt, Robbie is _not_ gay he's _bi_, and trust me I've seen him with plenty of girl to know that he can be _very_ straight. That being said, I don't wanna hear another thing about gay people or my own sexuality being questioned. I'm not gay and I never will be. Happy?"

"Very."

"Good, now I'm gonna go get something to eat after I drop off his suitcase. You want anything?"

"I ate."

"See ya." Forgotten suitcase in hand he leaves the room.

Colt sits on his bed staring at the closed door. Sighing he lays back to stare at the ceiling. _'He still acts like my brother.... he, maybe defends gays a little too much but.. I shouldn't read anything into that should I? He didn't go raging to Darren about lying about him, I guess that's typical Rocky to never get mad or at least not show it as much as anyone else would. I just wish there was a way to fully know so I can stop thinking about it.'_

Rocky walks slowly down the hall to Robbie's new room, suitcase in hand and lump in his stomach he knocks slowly surprised when the door swings open from contact. "Huh? Robbie?" He steps inside his dual eyes widen. "What happened in here?" He asks, though, he's pretty sure he can guess.

"This explains why he didn't just junk my stuff out into the hall, he got all his agressions out on the room." Robbie laughed sadly at his own comment.

"That creep." Rocky mumbles assessing the damage.

"He really hates me for kissing you, doesn't he?"

"Seems that way; let me help you clean up."

"Thanks." Sliding the mattress back into its place on the boxspring he takes the left nodding for Rocky to take the right. "Did he bring up what Tum Tum was talking about over the phone? How bad was it?"

"Not too bad, I managed to defuse his inner bomb." Fixing the curtain rod, he then moves to the pulled out drawers. "Robbie, you know if Colt harrasses you I want you to tell me, okay? Don't let him off the hook as though he has a right to act this way."

"I don't know, its gonna be kinda weird telling on your brother. I'd feel like an ass."

"Brother or not, you're my friend and he has to know that acting this way is wrong no matter who he is and he needs to stop."

"I'll try."

Rocky looked at Robbie sideways. It made sense that he had a black eye when he came back from Hell, he just took the blame from people and the punishment as if he deserved it or something. Can someone really be so passive to violence and confrontation to just allow theirself to suffer? He'd definitely argue with the male over that if they ever ended up living together.

_'Stop thinking like that, even joking, we're friends now and nothing more.'_ Fixing the last disheveled item in the room Rocky turns to the male and says. "I'm going for lunch, you wanna join me?"

"So bold for the first day back." He teases.

"Shut up, friends eat together all the time." He shakes his head giving the Canadian a friendly shove when he approached.

"I would love to, it'll be just like when I first came. We'll eat at that same place, I'm dying for a sandwich."

"Okay." He instictively took Robbie's offered hand then shook his hand free from the hold. "We've gotta watch that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't even realize that I reached for you." Leaving the room he stuffs his lonely hands into his pockets. "We'll figure this out."

"Of course we will." Though Rocky seemed to walk a little more ahead of Robbie for just incase.

* * *

"Hey Rocky!" Tum tum shouted from the couch when his brother walked in. "I'd hug ya but," He nods to the t.v.

Rocky glances at the tv screen. "Who's winning?" He asks his little brother and Tum's girlfriend Paige.

"Who else!" The girl rolled her eyes. "Guy thinks he's Speed Racer or something."

"Hahaha. Where's Mom?"

"Showing someone a house. She said, though, that when you come back to stay put she should be back before you have to go to your next class."

"Okay." He takes a seat in the arm chair watching the game go on.

"So did you come out of the closet to nosey Colt?" Paige asks being blunt as always.

Rocky really does think that she was born the wrong gender sometimes. "No, because I'm _not_ in the closet."

"If you say so." The girl shrugs. "Ha!! I win this round." She brags, puffing up her a-cup chest.

"W'ever."

Making a face Rocky says to himself. "Did you just say w'ever?"

Leaving the game on the start screen, the boy turns to his oldest brother. "But you did say that you slept with Robbie?"

Withdrawn from the feeling jumping in his chest Rocky says. "None of that matters now, I told you we're just friends from now on like we started."

"Yeah but can Robbie stick with that, he said he's liked you from the start right?"

"He'll keep his promise so long as I don't give him any reasons not to, it goes both ways; I don't act suggestive and he won't pick with it."

"But you never wanted him and he still liked you."

"Tum are you driving at something?"

"Noooo, not me. I'm just saying why would being your usual self around him be any different than before from his point of view. And now that's he's been with you on more than kissing terms it'll be brutal to keep his hands off."

"I can't even believe I'm having this conversation with you." He closes his eyes massaging the bridge of his nose to ward off the headache he feels brewing.

"I'm only saying know what you're getting into."

"Yes sir." He salutes.

"Did Arc like the numchucks?"

"Is he adorible? Does he look like you?"

"He acts more like me than he looks, but yeah he has blond hair and my nose. He loved the chucks, I promised him I'd make him some dvd's to learn how to use them. Hey Paige can you ask Stacey to film me, she's good with a camera right?"

"Uh huh, she'll do it."

"Tell her thanks."

"You want her number? She'll just die if a boy calls her."

"Ahahaha, naaah, just ask her for me, thanks."

The girl shrugs.

"He said he would like to come visit, that you sound really cool too."

Grinning around a bite of _Snickers_ bar the teen brags. "Ha, I'm so awesome I bring in the love without even meeting them."

"Can't disagree, he snagged me and I consider myself a hardass."

"Because I'm so cute, right?"

"I can't even remember anymore, don't ask." She waves him off.

Cocking a brow Rocky wonders how those two stayed together for so long. Since eleven with them. Same as him and Paula. His heart sank for a moment at the memory of the bright girl now reduced to rocking in the corner of a room in the Moonhalf mental clinic from having a nervous break down.

"You alright, Rock'?" Tum asks. "You look kind of spacey."

"I was just thinking about Paula."

"That's kinda random, so I guess you didn't hear then."

"No. What?"

"I went over to see her a few months back and they say she checked out."

"...You mean her mother checked her out?"

"No, she checked out. I mean, it could have been her mother they wouldn't tell me anything, I'm just a friend, but she's gone."

Thinking about that Rocky shakes his head. "Why wouldn't anyone contact me?"

"I don't know. ....Are you gonna try to find her?"

Rocky is quiet for a moment sighing before he speaks. "No. No, if she's fine then she'll contact me if she'd not then her mother will say something. I believe that."

"That's the spirit." Tum gives his brother a thumbs up.

Having nothing to do with the conversation Paige only listened in quietly having many questions but didn't care enough to ask them. So changing subjects feeling the other one has played its course, she says. "Tum did you figure out what you want for your birthday?"

"I forgot its September, my brain is all over the place." Says Rocky. "What would you like for your birthday?"

"My birthday isn't for two more weeks, I don't really care anyway. I'm too old for birthday exxitement."

The two give the male a skeptical look.

"Fine, maybe I am excited but I only really want the cake and maybe a PSP, couple of games, a car-.."

That made Rocky laugh. "I don't know about a car, but anytime you want mine you can borrow it."

"Seriously?! Rocky! Thank you!" Jaw dropped, Tum laughs to himself from thoughts of cruising the street in a car rather than on a bike.

"But wait, how are you gonna get around?" Paige asks, also liking the idea of riding around with her boyfriend and friends, but she can be practical.

"I can get rides with Robbie; you can have my car for the weekend just to see if you're beyond being a freshman driver."

"Tight. Thanks bro."

Rocky shrugged. "Its no big deal."

But he knew it was, it was the same with him and Colt when they first learned how to drive. Although, Rocky did most of his driving with their grandfather since the man trusted him enough behind the wheel of his convertable and often let Rocky drive him to the market or on a quick errand someplace, though, Mori tended to keep his hand on the wheel during the blond's right turns- Rocky cut them a bit sharp sometimes and would ride the curb. But he's better now.

The front door opened calling their attention to it.

"Mom?" Rocky called.

"Rocky, hey you're back? How was the trip?"

"It was great, Robbie's cousin is gonna send over some pictures so you can see Arc. He's great mom, you'll really love him." He stands giving his mother a kiss.

"I just can't believe I'm a grandmother. I can't wait to see him in person" She swoons. "I'm gonna spoil him rotten."

"Meaning fat." Chirps Tum Tum.

"Ha ha. Rocky can you come over for dinner tonight or do you have classes?"

"Can't, I have classes. I'll ask Colt, though."

"Would you like a snack? I can make you something."

"No, I'm good. I just ate a little while ago, anyway, I really just wanted to some by and check in so I have to go."

"Okay, bye baby."

"Bye mom, bye Tum, Paige."

The two wave him off while following Mrs. Douglas into the kitchen for that offered snack. Smiling, Rocky leaves his childhood home with a smile in his heart. But he can't help wonder about Paula being out of the clinic. Is she better? Worse? Why would she just be gone....


	13. Research

A.N: Thank you so much for the review. I think that Colt might sort out by the end or maybe he'll be more open to it but I can tell you this there is going to be a fight, I only hope I can do it well and explain it so that its not complicated when ninjas battle it can get ugly.

.............

Colt took a deep breath before going into Dr. Maxim's office that Saturday morning. He decided to go after his class was over that morning and whether he made an apointment or not the psychiotrist is going to see him. He's been observing his brother for exactly one week since the blond got back from his little trip with Robbie and he's been keeping note of anything about Rocky that comes off as peculiar.

A woman exits the office in tears clutching her purse. The ninja cocks his head as he watches her departure, wondering if leaving in tears meant anything. Standing he walks into the man's office his secretary calling after him as the door closes. The doctor looks over at him from his filing cabinet in wonder of what the middle Douglas child could possibly want. A session perhaps? No that seemed unlikely, so then what?

"I need to talk to you-..."

"Doctor I tried to stop him;" Interrupts the secretary. "Young man, you need an appointment; it isn't fair to just barge in on the doctor without schedul-..." She sees Maxim's hand go up.

"Its fine, I'll speak with him."

The woman cast a glare at Colt but did as the man said and let him be leaving the room.

The ninja waited her out speaking only after hearing foot steps proceed away from the door. Taking a seat on the couch he suddenly stands back up; he has to have authority or he'll never get answers to his questions he'll just be viewed as a child and that's the last thing he wants. Pacing over to the man's desk, which he is now seated, Colt drops his fist to the desk a little harder than necessary.

"You look serious, what's this about?"

"I need to ask you something and I want an answer to it, straight up, no mumbo jumbo talk just an honest clean answer."

"Alright, what's your question?"

Colt tried to steady his voice, he doesn't like that this is causing him to shake with rage or sadness or otherwise. He needs it to be over. No one in school has mentioned it yet but who's to say Darrin and his goons aren't just waiting with it. The right place, right time.

Taking a breath he exhales slowly then speaks. "Its my brother, Rocky, I-... I wanna know something about him that he might have told you in confidence.. I need to know. Please tell me."

"Our discussions are confidential unless its a family session where everyone can discuss the topic freely. Would you like to schedule an appointment?"

"No! I just want you to answer this simple question so that I can stop freaking out!" He snaps not meaning to.

"Alright, what is it?"

"My brother, Rocky, I need to know.. if he mentioned anything to you about being..." You could hear his swallow it was so hard. "I need to know if he told you whether or not he's gay?"

Cocking a brow the man can't help but recall his conversation with the blond about the very subject of the question.

_"Its got something to do with happiness, my happiness." He emphasized. Lowering his gaze to his lap, he then looks the man square in the eyes and says. "I'm falling for someone and as a parent I wanted to know how you'd react to it."_

_"That's fine, but first you have to tell me what it is." His interest is spilling over now._

_"What if... what if I told you that I'm falling for my male roommate?" He phrases it._

_Dr. Maxim smiled at first then he processed the sentence turning his smile into a thin line on his face before pursing his lips as he watched Rocky slowly nod when he'd realized that he understood what he said. "When did this happen? How long has it been going on?"_

_"..." Thinking it over, he replies speeding through it. "Recently- I mean, the attraction was off and on for me but for him I think he said it was right around the time I went missing that he felt it the strongest, but he kissed me one time before I was taken and during that time I thought about him and I-..."_

_Waving a hand, he says quickly. "Slow down, I'm in no rush." He chuckles. "Explain it all to me at your speed."_

_Letting out a sigh, he says more calmly. "Robbie first became my roommate sometime first semester last year, we were friends right away because he was an honestly good guy, I thought. Time went by and at some point he ended up calming me down when I freaked out about missing time for the first time when Sin was trying to take over my subconscious. But I never noticed him until he gave me a massage to ease my headache... he kissed me. Not on the lips on the neck and jaw." He blushed a bit saying something like that to someone. "Robbie told me that I kissed him in return but I don't remember doing that which means Sin must have done it. Anyway, when I was taken I kept thinking about all the things and people I would never get to see again and he continued to pop up in my mind, even Maria noticed my thinking about him... it was part of the reason she had raped me with a sex toy just to make me afraid of it. I think she succeeded in doing the opposite."_

_"Do you think that maybe what happened to you is the reason you've decided to be a homosexual?" Asks Dr. Maxim as he took in the boys words._

_Shaking his head, Rocky defends quickly. "I'm not gay Dr. Maxim, I just... have feelings for Robbie."_

_"Mm." He intoned. "Emotional? Physical? Mental?"_

_Rocky knew the answer to that easily. "Its all of them. I can honestly say that." He begins to figit in his seat; fingers pinching at the fabric of the couch. "It started out mental, even when I pushed him away I kind of kept thinking about him, then it became physical, now its emotional."_

_That caught the mans attention right away. "You've been intimate?"_

_The blush said it all. Rocky looked completely uncomfortable as he spoke. "One time" He clears his throat quickly. "with inner connection and twice without. It was just a release once bare and the other over the clothes."_

_Now it was the doctors turn to be embarrassed. He didn't need such graphic detail but it was intersting to know. "Most young men in college like to experement with same gender sex, women too."_

_"Yeah but Dr. Maxim I'm not experimenting. I'm not bisexual, and I'm not gay, I like women but... I like Robbie too." He defends. "And that's my problem... what if I wanna say fuck it to everyone and be with him as long as he wants to be with me. What if I don't care that people call me gay even though I'm not. How do I deal with that? How can I be part of that without hurting him from harrassment or my family from the humiliation that their son is seeing a man."_

_"That is a problem." Says Maxim calmly. "Do you plan on telling them?"_

Blinking he looks at the Douglas male before him now full of question and concern over his brother for something that Rocky isn't even sure of himself. What should he tell him? He isn't even sure if he can tell him anything since he doesn't know anything.

"I think that you should talk to your brother about this; Rocky hasn't told me anything out of our usual session discussions so I can't help you. I'm sorry."

"And you're being honest?"

The man nods.

"Shit." Shoulders sagged he turns away to leave.

"Hold on," The doctor calls out. "I wanna know what you plan to do if the answer were, yes, that your brother is a homosexual? Will you hate him because you don't understand? Or will you give him the benefit of being happy no matter who he chooses to be with?"

Colt shakes his head then walks out. He knows exactly what he'll do, he only hopes he doesn't have to.

.............

Rocky turns the page in his science book taking notes after doing a little reading; his class has a very big lab coming up and he wants to make sure to get top credits for it, though, he's hoping for the best in the P.I. business he can't just assume that his wishes in life will turn out and its good to have something else to fall back on for just incase.

"Rockyyyyy?" Calls a voice that he's somewhat familiar with.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder he turns his head seeing Ellis beside him. Smiling he pulls out a chair for her. "Hi."

"Hi!" Leaning over she plants a kiss on his cheek. "I haven't seen you since you got back from your trip with your friend. How are you? What have you been up to? Don't tell me its been studying the entire time because that's just not healthy."

"Sort of." He replies then says. "And you've seen me in class."

"No, I mean emotionally. Rocky, you're my boyfriend and you said that we'd date once you got back and well unless I'm seeing, hearing, and feeling" She chose then to squeeze his thigh. "things you're my boyfriend and you're ignoring me."

"I'm sorry, we've got this lab coming up and I wanna do well in it. Can I take you out tonight?"

"That's more like it." Grinning Ellis leans over kissing Rocky on the lips.

Mouth clamped Rocky hoped the girl didn't realize the kiss was one-sided or she'd be really offended. He had to wonder why girls thought it was okay to just swipe kisses from him when, as she said, they haven't even officially dated yet.

The girl looks about the mess across the table then picks up a book. "Maybe I can help you; what spot are you at?"

"Umm, I'm kind of a work alone kind of person." Rocky tries explaining gently.

"Alone? Who does that anymore- well, except for eggheads."

Giving her a curt frown Rocky says in a bland tone. "_I'm_ one of those eggheads, Ellis."

Blushing from embarrassment the girl lowers the book to the table. "Sorry."

"Its fine- I'm used to it anyway."

The vibrant girl giggled. "You shouldn't be used to people calling you names."

"But its true, I shouldn't have to defend myself against it."

Ellis' eyes slit thoughtfully. "You're really cute today." Brushing his arm with her hand the girl then stands. "I'll leave you alone if that's what you want." Bending down she kisses him on the cheek. "See you around, maybe you can come to my room for dinner and I'll cook for you."

"Maybe."

Curious about Rocky's aloof, yet, responsive behavior she shrugs it off walking away.

_'I'm sorry Elle, but its just too soon for me right now to be falling for someone when I'm still interested in someone else.'_ Rocky cast his dual gaze at that very person.

Robbie is studying as well across the library, head down the entire time, Rocky wasn't even sure the male knew that he had come in, if he had he was sure that Robbie would come over and talk to him. Its been a week since their time as a couple and the conversion back to just friends. Robbie seems to be taking it well but Rocky feels like a wreck some of the time, mostly on nights when the psychotic woman would find her way into his dreams. Just the other night he dreamt that she was at his bedside gripping him with her inflamed hand leaving a burn mark in his skin but when Rocky threw himself awake he saw that there was no mark and, of course, no Maria but his body still buzzed with fear. Rocky reached into his nightshirt pulling out the anchor giving it a squeeze in his palm, closing his eyes again he quickly fell asleep. Other days were better, though, he and Robbie would joke and carry on and nothing would feel weird or forced it was just what it was.

_'Why do I still get an itch for him? I must be worse off than I thought I'd be.'_ He continues to think. _'Hn. I'm clearly not gonna get much studying done staring at the back of Robbie's head; better pack it up.'_

Gathering his books and pens the Douglas male exits the library heading for his dorm to drop off his things before going to the courtyard to read for enjoyment, on his way across the building his spots Colt coming in his direction. Cocking his head the blond wonders what has his brother so pissy but decides not to ask and continues on his way to the statue where there are three benches placed to sit around it. Setting his things down beside him he pulls out his book of the week opening it to the page he left a paper clip as a bookmark.

The ninja reads from his book for a good ten minutes before marking the new chapter, closing it, he pulls out his electronic notebook from its shurikan decorated carryall; opening the documents once turning on the screen he clicks on the saved progress of his fictional story then begins typing.

..................

"Ramen?" Colt says after being handed a steaming bowl of prok flavored noodles with some added broccoli- his brother's personal touch to keep him healthy.

"Well, I'm kind of low on funds so its either Ramen or Hot Pockets and personally I can't stomach another one."

Scrunching his face he sighs while digging in.

Watching his brother a second Rocky then eats as well. "....Colt?"

"Mm?" He intones around a swallow.

"Where were you coming in from earlier?"

"Nowhere, I just went to see someone."

"Paula?"

Taken aback the male asks. "What would make you ask that?"

Rocky shakes his head. "Nothing particular, just wondering."

"No. I haven't seen her since the first time she... she checked in to the institute I was seeing someone else."

"Ok."

They eat in verbel silence watching the small television. Rocky has to wonder what Robbie is doing since the mini television is his but he so nicely left it behind. They made a deal back when they first met that if Rocky provided the mini-fridge then Robbie would provide the mini-tv.

Deciding to break the ongoing silence Rocky says. "I'm dating someone, her name is Ellis. She's nice."

"Really?!" Colt practically cheered and he could have slapped himself for it.

"Yeah, she asked me out before I left to see Arc I'm thinking about taking her to the winter carnival this year."

"That's a great idea! Maybe we can double, cause you know, I'm seeing someone too."

"Olivia? Right?"

"No, I broke up with her and right after that I met someone else." He boasted without even trying. "Her name is Maggie and she's a college student, I think in your year."

"Nice."

"You know it. She's tall and really great, like hang out and not give a damn if you fart or something."

Rocky made a face, though, he laughed. "Sounds like a real winner."

Sitting aside a piece of vegetable Colt takes another slurp of noodle.

"....I'm going home tomorrow so I can be filmed doing some nunchuck work, its for the dvd I'm making for Arc."

"I can't imagine what it must feel like- having a kid, I remember my pregnancy scare with..." He chose not to say her name again. "It was terrifying."

"Yeah, the getting there must be scary- especially when you don't know what to do but, its not so scary for me; Arc has his aunt and uncle and sister taking care of him... hn. I kind of feel temperary."

"Are you kidding? You said it yourself the kid likes you and, minus his choice in nicknames, you love him back. I actually can't wait to meet him, it'll be pretty sweet to be an uncle."

"Ahahaha, I can already see the dangers behind that."

"Better my bad influence than Tum fattening him up." He teased.

Rocky laughed nodding his head.

Its nice to be around Colt when he's acting like himself. Whatever is bugging him, Rocky could only hope it went away. But the only chance of that happening is if he talks about it.

"Colt, come on, where were you?"

After a very gruff sigh his brother responds in a tight manner. "I went to see your therapist, okay?"

"....Why?"

".....I wanted to ask him about you, I wanted to know if you'd said anything to him about being gay."

"Whaaat?" He couldn't believe his ears, was Colt really that obsessed with the subject? "And what did he say?" Rocky asks knowing the answer.

"Said he didn't know, which makes me all the more curious."

"You're out of your mind." He stands when hearing a knocking at the door. "I wish you'd stop being so gung-ho to peg me as something I'm not." Pulling open the door he calms his tone before saying. "Hello?"

Grinning his holds up an envelope. "Got the pictures from the trip, want yours? Corin made copies."

"Sure, thanks."

"No problem. ...Is uh, _He_ in there?" Robbie asks since he can't see beyond into the room.

"Yes _I_ am in here, but you shouldn't be so get lost." Colt chides smuggly.

"You know, that personality of yours isn't very cute Colt, you might wanna work on your people skills." Robbie snickers while handing the pictures over to his friend.

Rocky couldn't help but smile; he knows the one thing that gets to his brother faster than anything is someone sassing him right to his face. Luckily, though, Colt only left it at flipping the male off- not that Robbie had seen, though.

"See you around."

"Yeah, and thanks again."

Robbie nods before heading down the hall.

Closing the door Rocky opens the envelope. Flipping through the photos his hand shakes coming across two of them: One of him and Robbie dancing and another with them kissing. Paling, Rocky removes all but the two photos from the packet then hands them to his brother.

"Take a look." He says sitting down beside the male.

"I love pictures," Colt says taking them from his brother ready to scrutinize them.

Pointing he names the people in the photo- at least, anyone he recognized. "That's his mom and dad, Edith and Iggy."

"Iggy?"

"I know, weird right, but they're both really cool." When Colt flipped another picture he says. "That's Corin, creepy on the outside but really nice on the inside."

"Its just freaky, she looks exactly like what I remember Maria looking like." Scoffing he flips pictures muttering. "Maybe you should burn it."

Shaking his head Rocky replies softly. "You shouldn't say things like that, its just not right."

Ignoring it Colt asks. "Is this Arc?"

Smiling Rocky looks at the picture that was supposed to be of him and his son but Robbie managed to sneak his way into it- not that he minded. "Yeah. Cute isn't he?"

"Yeah he is, he looks a lot like you."

"I only see it in the nose and maybe the jaw but personality wise he's a little like me and a lot like Sin."

"Speaking of which," He says while still looking at the four year old. "I wanted to show you something."

"What?" Scooting aside a bit he raises his shirt.

Rocky raises a brow then says. "And you thought I was gay, you're practically incest, what are you doing?"

"Funny. I wanted to ask you about my tattoo. I need to know if it says what I want it to say."

"Which is?" Rocky looks it over.

"Uh-uh, no chance I'm gonna let you lie to me by saying its what I say when it really reads dumbass or something. What does it say?"

"You're so immature. It says freedom."

"Thank you. That's exactly what its supposed to say."

"When did you get that?"

"Right after I was done with school."

"Mm. And here I was gonna get one removed."

"You have a tattoo?! No way."

"No lie, Sin got it during one of his outtings." He instantly wished he hadn't chose that particular word.

"Outting? Is that a confession?"

Rolling his eyes Rocky grabs his brother's pillow from the top of the bed smashing the male in the face with it.


	14. The Halloween scene

A.N: Thank you for the review. I should warn you all that a sex scene is in the next chapter but don't worry anyone who doesn't like watching two men its with Colt and Maggie. Thank you for reading and please review if you like. Lighter.

.............

October 31.

Robbie walks down casually down the hall of the dorm building scythe in hand watching out for the goofballs bouncing around with Halloween spirit bursting out of them, a few shoulder brushes now and then but he's not complaining about rough housing because in a gew hours he plans on doing much of the same at the party being held in the main room of the dorm.

"Rocky?" He knocks on the door of his old dorm room waiting for his friend to answer.

"Buwaaa haaa haaaa!!!!!" Screams a boy or maybe a girl; with the high pitched tone its hard to tell, running down the hall skeleton hands waving about slapping anything in site.

"Bunch of freaks in this place," Mutters the grim reaper with a smile. Knocking once again, he calls. "Rocky?"

The door pulled open revealing not Rocky but his brother Colt.

"What do you want?" Asks the zombie version of the blue ninja.

Robbie took in the look of the male. Being a zombie suited the pissy male: the scars on his face and the tattered clothing. "Cool costume." Mentions the male in a friendly tone.

"Yeah and yours is real original." Colt replies sarcastically. "Again, what do you want?"

"I wanted to know where Rocky was, I rented a movie and he we could watch it in here- it is my tv you know."

"Whatever. Rocky's still in classes so until he comes to get you beat it." He slams the door in the Canadian's face.

"Right." Turning away he heads back to his room.

Its been quite a while now since their time in Connecticut but being with Rocky still haunts the male's memory. He can see the blond smiling at him, he can feel him holding his hand or holding him, the kissing is the real killer and considering that Rocky isn't a very sexual person Robbie had to wonder if kissing like that is natural to him or did one of his girlfriends teach him?

_'I wonder if Rocky thinks about me?'_ He scoffs. _'Yeah right, Rocky is a champion when it comes to sticking with a plan, he probably doesn't think about even one thing that we hold personal. Although.... I did see my chain down his shirt that day we went for sushi and he leaned over to get a plate from the conveyor.'_

Pushing his door open he drops his plastic pin sticker to the bed then heads to the closet to get a bit more make-up for his face. He really did think Colt made an awesome zombie, the blue ninja does a good make-up job. Stepping before a small mirror on the moveable closet to apply more gore to his face.

Back in the dorm room shared by the Douglas brothers. Colt is searching the closet for his missing costume piece.

_'Where did I put that bald cap?'_ He wonders while moving boxes and filled with this little thing or that.

His fingers brush across rubber; with a smile he yanks the thing out from the box unfortunately toppling the box over as well.

"Aaa shoot." Bending down to clean up the mess he shoves the contents back into the box. Spotting the pictures he panicked a second. "Wouldn't want these to get messed up." Shoving them back into the envelope he drops the packet into the box sitting it back on the shelf.

"Alright," Placing the bald cap over his head he grins at his reflection laughing to himself at how funny it looks, "cap in place," opening a small plastic container of make-up paint he swabs some of the gray color onto a small sponge that comes with the kit then applies it on the hairless part of the cap to cover up the flesh color. Once done Colt looks it over in the mirror by tilting his head forward casting his glance up to check. "Looks alright. Time to party."

Leaving the room he closes the door the small gust of the action causes two unseen photos that slipped from the pack to blow further under the bed where they slid away to.

...........

Rocky tied off the sash to his costume in a hurry. He had a late class and promised to meet with Robbie to watch a video with him but it seemed as though he was too late for that since the party has already started downstairs. He's been looking forward to this movie since it would be the first time he can have alone time with Robbie that will be honestly viewed as nothing but being his friend. It was really hard to move on in September with everything still fresh in his mind but during October he's started to get the swing of a normal existance again and having been on several dates with Ellis he can say that he has now passed the test of the backslide.

"One last thing." He pulls a small box from under his bed taking out the long black wig that is inside. Slipping it over his hair, which he took ten minutes tugging back before-hand, he gives it an adjust here and a finger combing there before grabbing a ribbon to tie it off.

A knock at the door called his attention but instead of opening it he calls out.

"Its unlocked."

The door then opens revealing the visitor to be his girlfriend in her maids outfit. Giggling she spins having her dress twirl about her as she does so, the action exposing her well purportioned butt cheeks. "How do I look." She asks in a phony french accent.

Smiling he says. "You look great."

"Just great?" She cocks a brown brow. "Rocky, you're... you're gorgeous! You may get more attention than me." Walking to his side she gives him a playful shove. "What are you?"

Rocky could have been knocked over by a gust just now for that question. "Can't you tell? I'm a samurai."

"Oh. ...What's this red mark across your chest?" She points at before running her finger along the red stained tear in his costume.

"I was cut down in battle."

Snickering she says. "Now that's a shame." Taking his hand in hers she leads him to the door. "All ready?" Receiving a nod she heads out with him in tow. "Then let's move out."

The room is lit with bat and pumpkin designed lights, on the snacks table is all sorts of candies and cookies bought from the market earlier, sodas of all sorts of flavors, and some jack-o-lanterns to give the table flare- as if the ghost decorated table clothes and spider webs weren't enough. In the confrence room the television is set on an all day marathon of the Halloween movie trilogies should anyone tire of dancing and talking and they just wanna sit down and relax. The costumes were all over the place some traditional with witches or childhood like pirates, other costumes are movie themed from Batman to the phantom in Scream.

If Rocky could pick out the most original costume he would say its the girl dressed as a child holding a doll that her head sits atop. The ninja's dual gaze scanned the room for Robbie hoping that the male wasn't waiting up for him or something; he's seen at least two reapers and neither were the Canadian.

"Uh-oh, Rocky's got that far away look again Leanne." Ellis says to her best friend.

"Huh?" He asks snapping out of it.

"Every now and then you space out on me, I've been thinking of naming it I see it so much."

A little embarrassed that he's been doing such a thing and not noticing he shakes his head. "Sorry."

"Its alright." Ellis shrugs.

But Rocky couldn't help feel that it bothered her a bit, maybe he was reading her wrong but her tone lowered a bit when she replied to him.

"Boo!" Shouts Robbie from behind Ellis.

Jumping out of her skin the girl turns around. "Dammit Robbie, you scared me." She slaps him on the chest.

"You seen Rocky anywhere?"

"Is that the only reason you saught me out? How rude. I think I should be insulted."

"Not even a hello." Adds Leanne.

"I'm sorry. Hello Ellis and Ellis' friend. Have you seen Rocky?"

Groaning playfully the girl rolls her eyes. "You've gotta make some more friends or people will start to wonder about you. He's right here."

Guilty Rocky raises his cup of soda as if to say sorry.

"Jerk, why didn't you say anything if you were standing right there?"

"It was funny." Replies the ninja.

Ellis looks at the two of them a second then shakes her head. She must be imagining things there was no way Rocky's mood brightened just because of Robbie, he must have really just thought it was funny that the guy didn't recognize him.

"Your costume kicks ass- Samurai wounded in battle?"

"Cut down, but you were close."

Ellis tugs her friends sleeve. "Leanne, this is Robbie- Robbie this is Leanne."

"Hi." They said in rather dry and simultanious voices.

"We should all dance together." She suggest.

"I could dance." Robbie takes Leanne's hand leading her away to the floor.

"You wanna dance?" Ellis asks.

Hesitant, he nods. "But I warn you, I'm much better at slow dances."

Grinning she pulls him against her. "Then we'll slow dance, like we're the only ones in the room. I don't mind."

Rocky froze a moment realizing that Robbie and he did the exact same thing at the wedding.

"Mmm. Tell Jack to take a backseat for the rest of the night, okay?"

"What?"

"I decided to name him Jack since its jacked up how many times I have to see his face." She laughs.

"Ha ha. I'm sorry, though, I think I've just become the spacey type."

"Its alright." Holding him close she rests her head on his chest swaying lazily. "Just as long as I can have this moment with you."

"Alright." He rests his head on top of Ellis' wishing he could give himself to her, hating himself even more for opening his once closed eyes to watch Robbie as he oddly danced like a goober with Leanne. _'So much for being over it.'_ Thinks the ninja.

The night went on rather nicely, pleasent chatter shouted over the music a few screams can be heard from the confrence room due to the movie hitting a bone chilling scene. Colt kept an eye on his brother while dancing with Maggie; she's dressed as Glenda the good witch. Rocky seems to be acting normal, he's dancing with his girlfriend- granted its not even at the right pace but its nice to see anyway. Maybe Darren was just being an ass because Rocky doesn't give in to his crap as easily as he does.

_'Man I'm stupid. I should apologize to him tonight before bed.'_ Thinks the zombie. _'That should cheer him up.'_

At that moment Darren, dressed as a werewolf brushes past Colt heading over to Rocky, he has one of his dumb friends with him, though, its hard to tell which one since he's covered from head to toe.

"Look at this," Darren says to his friend. "if it isn't the _butt_ reaper."

His friend laughs, a husky sound due to the mask over his head.

"Get lost." Robbie says in a kindly tone while continuing to dance with Leanne who incidently stopped when Darren showed up.

"Oh and look there's his latest victim." He directs this comment to Rocky who stopped swaying with Ellis to survey the scene and make sure Robbie isn't injured by his childhood pest. Seeing the red across his chest he fingers it. "Although, I think you've got the blood in the wrong spot, shouldn't it be in back." He throws his head back with laughter.

"Will you get lost," Says Robbie in a stern tone. "you're wrecking the mood, you dick."

"Dick? You'd like that wouldn't you, faggot."

"Tch. Not as much as your dad do-..."

His words are cut off by a fist slamming into his mouth knocking him to the floor. Leanne screamed covering her mouth. Rocky stepped in front of Darren wooden sword at his belt drawn.

"Back off Darren; this sword may be made of wood but I can and will draw blood with it."

Darren was this close to a 'yeah right' but his words remained in his throat seeing how dead serious Rocky's glare is.

"Hn. Whatever. Hey you know what," Darren calls over his shoulder loud enough to be heard over the music. "you might wanna take some lessons Robbie, that way your boyfriend won't have to beg like a bitch telling you how to please him."

Half the room burst into laughter hearing that the others that didn't tapped shoulders and turned heads to ask what was said.

Ellis' eyes widen with wonder and she asks. "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing. Darren's just a jerk." Helping his friend up, he turns back to his date. "I'm tired of dancing do you wanna see if we can catch the last half of the movie?"

"U-... sure."

"Come on." He says with a smile.

It took everything in his power to grab a hold of Ellis' hand and walk away without checking to see if Robbie was alright beyond helping him off the floor. Darren is becoming a problem but what frightens Rocky so much is that he can feel something brewing in him that badly wants to stop Darren before things get out of hand.

_'Ignoring it is the best solution, he'll know he's wrong and move on to the next dumb thing.'_ He assures himself.

....................

The Douglas brothers are in their shared room slowly removing their costumes. Colt steals glances at his brother who seems to be in his own little world while half-heartidly undoing the tie on his belt.

"Rocky, listen, I'm sorry about giving you grief over this whole thing. It was stupid of me and I shouldn't have doubted you for a second." He sighs out loudly; glad to have the heavy feeling off his chest.

"Its okay, really. I wanna go see if Robbie's alright, though, its my fault that creep Darren is picking on him."

"Its his own fault actually, but I know what you mean."

"I'll be back in a little bit." He walks out the door.

Tattered clothing removed Colt slips into his pajamas; tugging the cap from his head he drops it to the floor then heads into the bathroom to remove the make-up and brush his teeth. He really does feel better now that the air has been cleared, he had to give it to Rocky if he is lying, though, if someone had so much as called one of his girlfriends something as stupid as a phony he would have been on them like white on rice but he didn't do anything aside from helping the male up and walking his girlfriend away from the situation. Retrieving his cap from the floor something catches his attention as it slides out from being underneath the cap.

_'What the-...?'_

Pulling the thing from under the bed Colt feels another just a little ways next to it and pulls it out as well. Holding them up he hopes to see them in the window's light from where he sits but seeing that he can't he walks them over to the window tugging the curtain aside a bit but the moment he did this, the second he saw what the stray photos held he can taste vomit coming up in his throat. It just couldn't be. There is no way. Rocky and Robbie are dancing- together!

_'....There's just... there's just no way. I... he told me that I was crazy- did he lie?'_ Hands shaking he flips to the next one.

And that was the one that brought it out. Dashing into the bathroom he barely makes it to the toilet before the contents in his stomach spill out into the bowl. Breathing hard, Colt flushes after his three minute puke fest. He feels weak and dizzy... numb.

_'How could he lie? How could he... how could Rocky lie to me- to everyone?'_

Forgetting that he'd done it he flushes the toilet again before standing on wobbling legs heading back into his room.

_'He's gay, Rocky- my brother, is gay.... he kissed him... that fucking queer he kissed him and yet Rocky didn't pull away- what is wrong with him!'_ Picking up the pictures he shoves them violently under his pillow. _'The only reason he wouldn't push him away is if he liked it.'_ Pulse pounding he had to leave because he didn't know what he would be capable of if he stayed when Rocky returned. Maggie has to still be awake.


	15. Head rush

Warning: There's sex in this scene, you've been waaaaarned.

...........

Robbie stands before a small mirror on the wall in his room. His fingers touch lightly to the swelling beside his mouth then to the blood coming from his mouth. That Darren, whoever, has some punch. Two knocks cause him to turn his head to the door and through the mirror he sees Rocky walk in. Even from the doorway the samurai dressed ninja can see the blood on his friend's mouth.

"A.. are you alright?" Coming into the room he closes the door after him before crossing the room to the male, he touches Robbie's lip gently.

Wincing from the touch, Robbie swats the hand away. "I'm alright, don't worry about me- I'm used to it, but what about _you_ did Colt flip out again?"

Shaking his head Rocky sits on the males bed. "No, that's the funny thing, he actually apologized for being a jerk and accussing me of being gay. He either didn't hear Darren or he figured since I gave you the brush off after that creep slugged you it was some kind of sign that we didn't do anything." Reaching out a hand for him he says quietly. "I wanted to make sure you were alright, but after what he said and people heard..."

"Say no more," He sits down besied Rocky gaze at his lap. "Guess we've got 'em all fooled, huh?"

Rocky senses a 'but' but it doesn't come, so he asks. "Go ahead if you wanna say something."

"Its just that, this whole thing isn't working out so good for me... I'm having a really hard time adjusting to not touching you or kissing you whenever you look cute or something." He gestures to the long black wig on the blond's head.

Smiling he removes the wig. "Does this help?"

Snickering, the reaper shakes his head. "No, now you're back to the look I originally love." Cupping the ninja's face with one hand it lowers down to the male's neck where his fingers languidly trace the chain about Rocky's collarbone. "Was Darren right, about me not pleasing you in that way?"

Rocky laughed a bit. "The very fact that we were heard at all should answer that; I'm a near silent lover, just ask my old girlfriends you'd think they were masterbating." He snickers until the Canadian's hand comes back up to his cheek cupping it. "Robbie?"

He pulls Rocky to him for a kiss not surprised that the male backs out of it.

"As much as I want to, I can't... _we_ can't- we agreed."

"I'm sorry."

But his apology wasn't for almost breaking the promise it was for grabbing the back of the ninja's head with one hand bringing him into an unrefused kiss as deep as the sea or a cheesy love novel. Soft, warm, flesh against flesh caressing while their mouths speak in silence, though, their voices whisper in pants of lost breaths until they're forced to seperate for lack of air. Breaking apart they look intensily at the other a look that said if the other person moved even an inch they'd be eaten alive. A blink on both boys part breaks the spell and they look away as they stand, saying in unison.

"Just friends."

And Rocky leaves the room. Robbie watched the door until the scene in his head of it opening allowing a Rocky in that didn't want to refuse him and wants to be with him but it didn't happen so he went back to checking his wound before he removes the make-up from his face and the costume from his body to trade it in for pajamas. Rocky watched the door until the scene in his head of Robbie opening the door and pulling him back inside insisting that they remain lovers stopped playing in his head, with that gone he walks down the hall to his room, head low.

* * *

Colt knocked steadily on the door to his girlfriend's dorm room and after the fifth knock the door was answered.

"Colt, what are you doing here?" Maggie asks taking a quick step back when Colt came forward, no words, just entrance.

Door shoving closed hard he turns the lock knowing that Maggie has a roommate who is thankfully gone tonight. Reaching out for the girl he pulls her, salmon color, nightgown clad body to his own kissing her hard and passionately. The red head raps her arms around the males neck surprised greatly when Colt's hands slide down from her neck to the back of her thighs and lifts her up onto his hips walking her over to the bed. Colt would have wanted his first time with the girl to be romantic, special, but he can't seem to stop the hungry drive in him screaming for release to rid himself of the ugly images that spun black and sickening circles in his mind of Robbie touching his brother and his brother enjoying it.

Maggie moaned softly tilting her head back to allow the ninja more of the neck he is feverishly biting in to. "Aaahh," It was half pleasure half pain as she pushes him back a bit. "not so hard." She says breathlessly.

Kissing a trail from her neck over her delicate collarbone, Colt whispers. "I'm sorry." But he continued on like a zombie, neither with it nor against it, just doing.

Maggie could swear Colt was a vampire, she can feel a hickey growing on her neck shivering when Colt gave it the slightest lick before he presses his mouth to her. Tongues collide as a gentle tap meets with an abrupt stab that soon traced the roof of her mouth. Maggie's hands are pinned beside her head against the wall behind her and they soon become aquainted with the ninja's mouth sucking and kissing the bicep, elbow, and wrist of her left arm.

"Colt." She uttered in a sigh.

Releasing her hands Colt undoes the first three large buttons on her nightshirt exposing her bra-less breast. Quick hands now at the girls thighs caressing them gently yet strong, he leans down suckling at the pink peaks of her chest; his tongue worked magic on the girl and the pleasure was evident as his palm rests against her wet panties. Pushing up her nightshirt Colt kisses a trail down her body to that very spot removing the obstruction of clothing in his way before he dove into her with his mouth, finally voicing his own met needs with a low groan, though the girl seems to be the only one receiving.

_'Rocky... that asshole.'_ Thinks the ninja. _'He lied to me, right to my face!'_ He can feel Maggie's body shudder around his tongue.

If she isn't ready than he must be doing something wrong. Sitting back on his legs the ninja undresses fast dropping his clothes to the floor or maybe they're still somewhere on the bed he didn't know or care but he hooks fingers past the waste band of the girls underwear sliding them off, tossing them before he pulls Maggie's naked body, still sitting up, against his own; with Maggie on his lap he wraps his arms around her pulling her closer before positioning himself with her body and moving slowly in.

_'Why does he want this with a guy?! How can he possibly-...!?'_ Wonders the anger conflicted ninja. He bared his teeth in anger over his girlfriend's shoulder at the sound of his brother enjoying Robbie in this intimate way. _'And who is on top of who? Bastard corrupted my brother turning him into some man pussy seeking-...'_ His face is turned to the red head to receive a kiss from her.

Her hips move up and down on his lap at such a speed its a wonder the bed doesn't collapse from the constant impact of it all. Their movements are carnal and rough but the sounds are tender and passionate.

_'I hate him...'_ His mind hisses.

"More." Maggie begs.

Darren's words crash through his mind as he obliged to the girls request. The room is filled with sounds of ecstacy and pleasure as the two ride it out into a hard shudder into one another when they release in a collapsed heap on the bed beneath them.

_'And if this is still going on.... I'll....'_ Colt can't finish the thought, he just can not.

Maggie wraps her arm around her lovers chest snuggling close to him, planting light kisses on his chest. "Not that I mind the end result but what brought this on?"

Colt blinks absently then, after a moment, turns his attention to the girl. "I'm so stupid, I didn't even use a condom."

Smiling she gives him a light pop on the jaw. "Relax kid, I'm on the pill- but what's bothering you so much that you can barely stay conscious for after glow?"

"I..." He swallows audibly hard. "I found these pictures of my brother- Rocky," He corrects not wanting to use such a friendly term for his brother just yet. "with that asshole Robbie."

"Okay, so you found some pictures; what was on them?" She leans up on her elbow looking down at him.

"He lied to me Mags, my own brother... he fucking lied to me." Colt shakes his head his sweat soaked hair not moving of its own accord like it normally would being stuck to his forehead. "He's been- I think he's gay."

"You _think_ he's gay? Colt, did he actually tell you this?"

"I told you that he lied to me. I found pictures telling me what he refused to say." Sitting up Colt now looks down at her. "Rocky and that prick were dancing together in one and kissing in another. If that isn't betrayl I don't know what is."

"Or maybe he's just confused and shit happened and now he's really embarrassed about it so why bring it up?" She shrugs. "The matter could be done and over with for them and now you and that moron Darren are bringing it back up making it an issue when it really isn't. How have they been acting lately? Sneaky or are they openly friendly with each other?"

Colt thinks that question over. So far they've only ever been around each other in public except for tonight since Rocky said he was gonna see if Robbie was alright after Darren popped him one. He'd never been so happy to have the male around in his life and if he intended to keep pummeling the Canadian they may end up best friends.

"You're right, I should look into it more. Thanks for this and... you know, that." He leans over kissing his girlfriend. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay- and remember, no chew outs, beat downs, or actions of any kind without concrete proof that something is still going on."

Dressing, he nods. "Right."

Colt leaves the room after dressing and giving the girl one last kiss making a mental note to buy her something for being an aggressive creep when he should have been gentle. Returning to his room he didn't expect to see his brother in bed sound asleep but there he was down for the count. Cocking his head he walks beside his brother's bed looking down at him as if trying to see something. Noticing a bare shoulder he recalled that Rocky never showed him this tattoo of his and carefully he moves the blanket from his brother's sleeping form.

_'Let me see... the.. the art of Sin. Sounds like that guy alright, but Rock' said he was going to get it removed so that's nothing to worry about. What else... Just some necklace.'_ Grabbing his brother's phone he checks the messages that are saved and the phone numbers in the address book finding nothing out of the ordinary. _'Man you're dull. Maybe Maggie is right and it was just a freak accident and they'll never do it again.'_ Going over to his own bed he removes everything but his boxers before crashing on top of the blanket and falling asleep.

November 4th.

The Douglas family looks like an advertizement for one of those photoshop places with everyone smiling and looking on expectantly. The reason for this is they have a visitor to their home- two if you count the person who brought their guest.

"Arc, this is Jessica and Sam Douglas they're your grandma and grandpa."

Jessica beamed hearing the words outloud. She hoped the day would come when she could be a grandmother and spoil a kid rotten with love and presents. Sam looked just as proudly noticing right away Douglas features on the child and if possible became more proud of his son Samuel than he ever was before, though, he knew how the child was born he didn't care about that this boy will be loved right.

"And this is Michael, your uncle; Jeffrey, your other uncle, is at school with your dad- they have classes."

Pulling the collar of his shirt from his mouth the boy throws his head back to look up at his cousin. "Like kindercare?" Asks the boy.

Tum laughed at how high the kids voice was. Jessica's heart soared from her chest with want to hold the child right away but she wasn't going to make any snappy movements in fear of scaring the kid. New families and parents it all must be such a change for him, its better not to push too much on him.

"Yeah, grown-up kindergarten."

Arc nods to show he understands. Returning his soaked shirt to his mouth he looks the family over with wonder and curiosity as if trying to figure out what to do with them.

Jessica pulled out the ace in the hole. "Arc, honey, would you like something to drink or eat?"

Twisting back and forth a second while thinking the boy walks over to her asking. "Do you have marshmellows?"

"I think we do, do you like jumbo-sized."

The boys eyes lit up at the recognition. "Mhm!"

Sam laughed at his enthusiasm. So Arc was another eater like Michael, the kid will weight 100 pounds by the time his wife is done with him.

"They've got colors too."

"Oh cool! I've never had those ones." Taking the woman's hand he follows her into the kitchen.

Watching them exit Robbie smiles "And like that" he snaps his fingers. "you guys are in with him."

"Thank you for bringing him by Robert." Sam says unable to hide the joy in his tone.

"Thanks for letting him stay, I'd hate to think of him staying at a hotel with me- I can't afford that." Taking two steps backward he turns then opening the front door. "I'll get his things."

Jessica and Arc exit the kitchen just as this happens and the woman held her breath thinking Arc would snap if his cousin left the home without him the boy only glanced that way before removing a green marshmellow from the six he managed to carry in his small hand to hand it to Sam.

"Do you want one?"

"Thank you, Arc."

"You're welcome." Taking a seat beside Tum tum he looks the ninja over with a smile. "Your dad has the same name like my dad, is it so he can remember his name?"

Sam laughed at that. "No, its because... well sometimes a man likes to name his first born after himself."

"Mm. My mom wrote to me and said that I was named after a... a croogle point."

"Do you mean crucial point?"

Looking to Sam Arc asks. "Do I?"

Smiling the man nods. "I think so."

Nodding to Jessica Arc says. "I think so."

"Hey Arc," Tum, whose been quiet until now, says. "I can show you my video games and stuff. I'll even let you eat from my candy stash."

"What's a video games?"

"If Rocky heard you say that he would have a small heart attack." Tum snickers remember his brother's obsession with the things as a teen. He didn't know if Rocky played them anymore, though. "Come on, I'll show you." Tum takes the boy's hand into his own, not minding the sticky feeling due to the snack he's been eating.

"Michael, let the boy have a life before you ruin it with that brain mush." Says his father teasingly.

"I was only offering Gameboy, sheesh." He smiles slyly while leading the boy upstairs.

"Should I put them in his room or would you rather do it?" Robbie asks.

"I'll take them up." Offers Sam taking the duffle bag and smaller bag filled with toys.

Jessica watches her husband a moment then looks at the Canadian. "Really, thank you for this. You don't know what this does to Sam and me. And he's just an angel."

Brows furrowed he asks. "Arc is?!" Snickering he waves it off. "Wait until he's comfortable, see if you still think he's an angel."

"Rocky's coming here for dinner today with his brother, why don't you come as well."

Grinning handsomely he accepts the offer. "Thanks, I'll do that."

Giving the boys arm a pat, Jessica leans in to whisper. "You're very good for my son, I don't know what you told him to make him not so nervous but really, you're a life saint."

"You're gonna make me blush."

Mostly because he knew why Rocky was so happy, although he couldn't really say it was anything he did the thanks belongs to Sin and his crazy get-what-he-wants way.

"I'd better go for now. Tell Arc bye for me."

"Alright. Bye dear." She closes the door after him.

* * *

"Colt!" Rocky called out to his brother when he hit the parking lot. "Can I catch a ride with you home, it'd be kind of pointless- both of us driving there."

_'Get bent.'_ Colt glared at his brother a second before answering. "Sure."

Taken aback by the hard tone he thinks in wonder. _'What's with him?'_ Pulling open the passangers side door to enter.

"Hey you," Maggie says wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's neck. "are you going home? Can I come with you?"

Smiling, the male gives her a kiss on the cheek before saying. "Yeah, sit up front."

Again Rocky is taken aback but gestures the girl to the open door.

"I'm Maggie by the way." Holding out a hand she shakes Rocky's.

"Rocky." He says in a confused tone before climbing into the backseat of the car.

The ride to their home was silent for the blond while the two upfront chatted about the songs on the radio and which station is best agreeing that one station plays crap music but the radio host are hilarious.

_'So much for apologizing. Maybe Darren's comment just took longer to settle in, he really should stop listening to that guy.'_ Rocky thinks lifting his thumb to his mouth he hooks the nail beneath his canine giving his thumb a twist. _'I should pay Darren a visit.'_

When they got to the house Maggie introduced herself instantly winning Jessica over with her kind and outgoing personality, the red head even complimented the woman on her clothes saying she has great taste. Arc exploded with happiness jumping into Rocky's arms, slamming into him for a tight hug when lifted into a hold.

"Uncle Tum showed me Gameboy, there's a man named Mario stuck in there and he wants you to help him get out so you have to go around until the end."

"Wow!" Rocky humored the boy. "Did you play?"

"I only watched, I like Mallow because he's like a cloud but they keep calling him a frog- isn't that silly?"

"Very silly." Says Rocky.

"Ignore me why don't you." Says Colt teasingly.

"Are you Colt?" The boy looks over his other uncle assessing him. "He's tall." He reaches out for the male.

"Looks like height wins today." He takes the boy into his arms.

"My name is Arc and I'm gonna be five on my birthday next time."

Looking impressed Colt says. "That's so big, are you gonna go to school then?"

"I am, aunt Edi told me this and I'm gonna draw and have naps."

Rocky can't help but feel his heart swell having the boy here in his home with his family, although... "Arc, have you been chewing on your shirt?" He asks noticing the wet patch.

"Don't start on him when you were the same way. His stuff is in Colt's old room, get him a clean shirt."

"Right." Heading upstairs Rocky walks into the room to sort through the clothes.

"Are you my aunt?" He asks Maggie.

"No, I'm just some nobody dating your uncle." She tossles his blond mop.

Arc looks her over then chews thoughtfully on his shirt again.

"Enough of that, come change your shirt." Says Rocky taking him from Colt setting him down to the floor. He undoes the buckles on his overalls removing the shirt once he could get access to it, handing Arc the clean one. "Here you go."

"Thank you." The boy pulls the shirt over his head smoothing it down before Rocky re-buckles the overalls. "Can we play ninjas now?"

"Yeah, we'll go in the backyard. Have you been practicing?"

"Uh huh! My chucks are in my bookbag upstairs, I'll get them!!" He slides from the couch the dashes upstairs.

"Will you be staying for dinner Margrette?" Asks Jessica already thinking of setting another place for later on.

"I can't I have a class tonight, but thanks for the offer I'd like to stay over another time."

"You'll be welcomed."

"Oh Rocky before I forget Robbie is coming tonight for dinner as well. I thought it would be nice for Arc to have him here his first night."

The weight in the room could only be felt by those who are skilled enough and sensative enough to shifts to notice how thick it got when Colt heard the news. Tum tum and Rocky both looked at their brother who, to anyone else, is just standing there casually holding his girlfriend around the waist while she made small talk with their dad. Its definitely talk time with the middle child.


	16. Outbreak

A.N: Thanks for the review, I never get to be anything really nice for halloween although I was Sakura from cardcaptors one year- loved it! Hahaha. Paula will be very explained in my next Colt story so I won't give too much away, but to sum it up she was a childhood friend of the Douglas's and her and Rocky became very serious about each other, Colt fell for her and went in for his charming kill when he found out that she had a crush on him. Rocky broke up with her believing that if she wanted to be with Colt she should, he loved her that much but he warned her she'd get hurt, and she did. The rest will be in the story. ^_^ I don't know if this came out so good, I'm sorry *cries a bit.* But I hope you like it.

...........

Dinner of fried cabage, meatloaf, and mashed potatos, is set on the table and at the small island counter before two stools for the family and guest to enjoy while having space to do so, but not be out of the conversation due to the seperated locations. Jessica poured a cup of milk for Arc into his sippy cup, which was in his travel bag, then moved around the kitchen pouring drinks of Apple Cranberry juice for everyone else. Her family is in the living room; Sam playing cards with Colt, Rocky talking on the phone with her father, Robbie watching television or Rocky it was hard to say from this angle but then again why would he be watching Rocky, Tum tum is playing airplane with his nephew holding the boy over his head while he dashes about the room both of them making plane sounds. Her heart melted once again.

"Mhm." Says Rocky. "Hachi-ji kake-naoshi masu." He listens to the person on the other end before saying. "Sayonara." Hanging up he slips his phone into his back pocket; beeping Arc on the nose as he and Tum tum go by. Noticing the brunet's ice colored eyes on him, Rocky asks. "What?"

Shrugging, Robbie replies. "I just think its cool that you can speak Japanese- fluently at that, most people sound like I-just-learned-this, creeps."

"What's the big deal," He sits beside him on the couch fully aware that Colt's attention to the card game between he and their father slowed a bit as he listened in. "you speak French don't you?"

"Who me?" He scoffs a laugh. "No, I barely get my english out right."

"But your parents have heavy accents, and your vowels sound a bit accented."

Robbie shrugs. "They are French Canadian and speak it but I was born speaking english, I don't know anything about funky vowels but it could just be from listening to them speak their english then having it changed when I heard American english."

After a thought Rocky says. "French is tough, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't know, I always took Spanish classes."

Rocky snickers.

"I can speak French, you know."

"Really, Dad?"

Sam nods. "How do you think I got your mother to date me, I asked her in French- thought it would impress her to have to either ask around to find out what I'd said, or research it."

Furrowing his brows, Rocky asks. "What if she never bothered?"

"Then you'd probably be calling Caitlin Morallis, Mom."

Having heard the entire conversation Jessica swats her husband on the back of his head. "Dinner's ready, casanova, I hope you enjoy your last meal."

Flush with embarrassment from the laughter from his kids and one of their friends he nods with a simple. "Yes, dear." As response.

The small group migrate into the kitchen taking a seat at the table, Jessica and Sam at either sides of the tables end, Colt on the right beside his mother, Tum Tum bext to him, Rocky across from Colt and Arc is next to him, Robbie is seated at the island counter behind Rocky.

"This is delicious, Mrs. Douglas- I'm not just saying that." He eats then swallows another bite. "I've never eaten cabbage this way before. We usually have the red stuff and its always boiled."

"I'll write out the preparations for it." Jessica says.

"Thanks. Maybe I could make it in my dorm on my hot plate." After a thought he adds. "I should send it to my mother too."

"I've never spoken to her, is she a nice woman?"

"Yeah, a bit crazy when you're friends with her because she doesn't have her 'be civalized' wall up, but she's awesome. I can give you her number if you want."

"That would be nice. Its good to know the parents of your kids friends."

"Ahahaha so you can rat me out when I'm bad?"

"A mother should know what her son is doing when he's away."

"Tch. More like who." Mutters Colt.

Rocky glances at his brother while chopping Arc's meatloaf into squares. He wonders if Colt is just being his usual jerky self to Robbie or if his words are as loaded as they seemed. Thankfully no one but Tum tum and himself had heard it.

"Did you guys see _Top Chef_ last night?" Asks Tum to his brothers. "Betty and Marcel has some fight." He laughs at the memory. "She practically told him to jump into the fryer because the spaz was complaining that the grease wasn't hot enough to fry his onion rings."

"I meant to catch it, but I was beat." Says Rocky.

"I'll record it when they replay it." Tum eats a bite of potato.

Setting his glass down, Robbie says. "Speaking of video's, Mom made a copy of home movies we have of Arc when he was a baby; I didn't think pictures were enough so I asked her to burn them to dvd, they should be in his bag."

"And you're just telling us this now?" Jessica's eyes widen in shock and disbelief.

"I forgot." Robbie shrugs in defense.

"Ha, not to rush the meal but don't ask for seconds."

All but Colt chuckle at the comment. He's clearly in a pissy mood.

"Paige's show comes on tomorrow at seven in the morning, make sure you watch it."

"Tum tum, no one wants to watch your little girlfriend dancing." Colt chides.

"Jeffrey." His father warned.

Colt merely remained silent and ate his meal with no more commentary through it. The family and guest helped to clear and clean the dishes from the table then they migrate to the living room to watch the home movie that Robbie retrieved from upstairs in his cousin's bag. The 4 year old was even more adorible as a baby with his bright blue eyes and curious personality. He looked at anyone talking to him and smiled that cute little toothless smile.

"Listen to how much he cooes." Said Jessica with a tissue touching below her nose. "Rocky always talked up a storm when he was a baby too. He wasn't as curious, though, he always seemed to be in his own little world. Mori said he was talking to angels."

Edith's laughter comes over the sound as the camera is guided about the room. "Wheeeere's Arc?" Aiming the camera at him directly when she finished turning she says. "There he is!"

The baby laughed reaching out for the camera so he could bring it into his drooling mouth.

Jessica, Tum tum, and Rocky let out an 'aaaawww'.

Robbie wasn't really watching, having seen them before, too busy watching Rocky's serene, happy, expression; the action hidden by the darkness in the room. Arc watched some of the movie but was busy playing with his toy car quietly beside his grandfather.

"Marissa, will you smile at the camera?" As if Edith realized that her sister couldn't hear her she leaned forward tapping her on the top of her head. "Smile."

Reading her sisters lips the woman smile then held up her nearly 3 year old baby. Her lips are moving but not a sound is coming out.

"She says that this is the happiest day of her life, and she's glad that she gets to hold her baby." Edith says for the viewers.

When 3 year old Arc stuck his finger up his mother's nose she pulled the hand away and nibbled on it gently causing the boy to laugh histerically.

"Dop!" He said when pulling his hand away.

Rocky could feel the air tightening in his lungs and his throat felt thick like it was going to close up seeing Sin's tormentor and the real vision of his own, at least until Robbie's hand rest on his back giving it a gentle rub.

_'Stop, make them stop!'_ Colt pleaded to God. "Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?!" He barks standing up from his seat.

Confused by her middle son's outburst, Jessica asks. "By what?"

Remembering what Maggie said, the suspecting ninja calmed his anger. "By... by the fact that... that..." Looking at all their questioning faces he throws his hands in the air. "I'm out of here." Grabbing his coat he leaves the house climbing into his car. Rocky can ride back to school with his precious Robbie.

"Well what's gotten into him?" Sam wonders turning the lights on while Jessica stops the dvd. "Samuel?"

"I don't know, I'll ask him when I get back to school."

"No daddy, stay here tonight so I'm not nervous." Arc grabs his father's arm.

Wanting to talk to Colt right away, Rocky instantly changes his game plan not wanting to upset the boy. "Okay. I'll stay tonight at home, but you can do it by yourself tomorrow?" He questions. "I'll have to call you scaredy-Arc if you can't." Teases the blond.

"Nuh-uh! I can do it tomorrow! You're the only scaredy around." He smiles when he's picked up and walked upstairs with his dad.

"I know I am." Rocky says before he's out of earshot.

Pointing to the stairs Jessica says. "I don't know what it is about this, but I think its going to be good for our son."

"Yeah." Having his beeper shake in his pocket Sam reaches into it. "Shoot. I've got to make a call." Kissing her on the cheek, Sam walks into the kitchen to make the call.

Upstairs. Rocky helps Arc into his pajamas then the two climb into bed. The room is dark and quiet, moonlight shines in through the open curtains and blinds; Rocky doesn't want the darkness to scare Arc- if darkness bothered the boy that is, and maybe just a little, he doesn't want the darkness around for himself.

"Can we snuggle?" Asks the boy already gripping the front of his shirt pulling himself into his father's hold.

"Sure." One arm around Arc, the other slides under the boy's head beneath the comfort of the pillow- not that he weighed much, though.

"In school, I know twins but they're a boy and a girl, are they aliens?"

Rocky shakes his head snickering. "No. Its possible to have a boy and a girl baby born at the same time."

"Oh. I was thinking about that." Silent for a moment the boy then asks. "Do I have a twin? Other babies mighta been born when I was too."

"Ahaha, no, you're the only you out there. Twins have to have the same mom and dad to be called twins. Anyone else born when you were just share the same birthday with you."

Thoroughly confused now, Arc says while closing his eyes. "I'd have a big party if that's true."

"Ahaha goodnight, Arc."

"Goo-night."

...............

Rocky snuck downstairs after prying himself out of his son's grasp; he had to talk to Colt and tomorrow or whenever else he would get the chance couldn't wait. Flipping open his phone he dials up his brother waiting for the answer.

A chill creeps through the ninja's bones as images played through his mind from when he was younger and Marissa had snuck into his home to take him away in the night while his family slept. Sin's memories and his own criss-cross as the dark figure with the vivid eyes became just a hungry woman watching him from the comfort of his own home.

"Hello?" Colt grunted.

Snapped out of his stupor, Rocky shakes his head. "Colt, I wanna talk- are you up?" He shoulders his phone between his cheek to hold it up while checking, with the dayglow, the time on his watch.

"I'm up, what do you want?"

"What I want is to know what's up with the attitude? Where was all that coming from tonight?"

Colt is silent a moment then he sighs. "I told you, its nothing."

"Nothing must be what you throw on your island when you're in trouble; that's obviously a lie."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I said it to you all the time when we were kids; you would do something and I would ask what you got into and you would always say "nothing", and I eventually got you to tell me anyway. So let's skip the song and dance and just tell me what it is. Be mature."

"Psh. I don't owe _you_ anything." He sounds as though he's about ready to hang up.

"And that's another thing, you keep saying _you_ as if I'm the scum of the Earth. Did I do something wrong? Or has Darren's stupid story gotten to you?"

"It isn't anything Darren _said_ so much as its what _you did_."

Feeling that he's getting close to what Colt is getting at Rocky has to make sure. "Meaning?"

"A picture's worth a thousand words, Sam- or maybe you'd rather be called _Samantha_!"

Colt hung up on him after that; Rocky could almost see the male's phone slamming down on the desk top beside the bed or its been hurdled across the room. Its over, he's been caught.

November 13th

Rocky has had enough; since their discussion that night Colt has been openly rude to him with snippy words and all around rude behavior as far as living together went it was a nightmare! He didn't know what was worse the silence or the openly bitter and insults to him filled conversations Colt was having with his girlfriend. Colt didn't even care that Ellis has been spending time with him, kissing him, writing him letters; that he would leave around in the open for Colt to see, none of that seemed to get through to him. So Rocky, eventually, just stopped caring what his brother thought of him. If he could not change Colt's mind than so be it, let him be wrong its no skin off his nose; he's actually shocked his brother didn't tell their parents.

But today, when Robbie said 'hello' to him in passing, Rocky spotted the black eye that his friend refused to say that Colt gave him that was the end of it. So storming to the quade, where he knows his brother likes to hang out, Rocky spots him, heads over, and with one quick turn after grabbing him by the shoulder he slugs his brother in the right eye.

"That was for the sucker punch that you gave Robbie." He explained before turning away to leave.

"Don't run away you coward!"

Tensing, Rocky balls his fist in and out reducing his stress with a quick ten count before continuing away.

"I said don't run!" Colt shouts.

His voice is closer than Rocky would have guessed and, turning, he just managed to side step getting popped on the jaw; with his opposite hand he grabs his brother by the wrist, spinning on his heals behind his brother- their backs facing each other, and he nails Colt in the ear with his elbow letting him go once the hit landed. Recovering, Colt angrily strikes battle stance.

"Are you sure you wanna do that brother?" He asks before he can get a stance of his own. "You know once you call a battle, you can't take it back."

Colt's stance only became more firmly planted.

With a shrug Rocky gets into a stance of his own.

Not liking where this is going Robbie gives a phony playful laugh before saying calmly. "Now now, whatever happened to using our words when we're angry?"

"Shut up pixie dust." Snaps Colt keeping his attention focused on his brother.

"I'm only gonna say this once, leave Robbie alone and drop this whole subject or be punished."

"I'm not afraid of you, bring it on!"

"You asked for it."

Stressed to the point of tears Robbie only throws his hands in the air in exasperation. "Aaaw crap, they're fighting."

Colt, as usual in Rocky's opinion, went straight for the first strike swinging his fist in a hooking manner at his brother's head to repay him for that elbow to the ear; leaning to a back bend Rocky evades it easily enough but didn't see it coming when Colt swung his elbow out for his own perry landing it square into his older brother's left eye. Momentarily distracted by pain, Rocky keeps his good eye out for his brother's next movement blocking a rapid succession of wild punches, the blue wearing ninja often uses on their opponents, with a single hand to forearm technique until he successfully flings Colt's arm out far enough to get in a good punch to the gut.

Staggering backwards with a hand to his throbbing gut, Colt scouts the area a second for something he can use- anything!

"Kick his butt Colt!" Call Maggie.

Whom, like the rest of the spectators, came from nowhere. Oh sure there were people around but none of them seemed to be paying any mind to what was going on- at least, not that they had noticed.

"You know, with as butch as Maggie is, it makes me wonder if you're the girl in that relationship." Rocky spits, not even knowing he had it in him to trash talk.

"That did it." Colt mutters.

Dashing towards the blond he jump kicks at him, missing one but landing the other to the center of his brother's chest Colt snickers when he hears Rocky cough from having the wind knocked out of him.

"Yeah, get him Colt!" Calls one of his high school classmates.

"Rocky's gonna win for sure." Says another kid.

Colt approaches his brother cautiously. "Ready to give up?" He asks.

Rocky grabs him by the shoulders driving his right knee into his brother's gut before kicking him in the same place with his foot and repeating the knee only his left foot aims a bit higher bashing Colt in the mouth with a little more force than he wanted to. Colt drops to the ground spitting blood from his teeth after giving them a quick licking to check for any loose ones. He's fine.

"Colt this is ridiculous, we have to stop..." He can't stand the fact that he's made his brother bleed. "Do you even know what we're fighting for?"

"You know _exactly_ why we're fighting!" Hollars the male as he stands up; he can feel welts growing on his abdonmen and hoped Rocky has the same, seeing that his brother's eye is puffing up nicely.

"No, I don't.... its just a stupid rumor. I'm with Ellis, and that's all that should matter!"

Ellis had to blush; was this fight over her? Rocky does care then? Or maybe he's two-timing her and Colt thinks its wrong and he's sticking up for her?

"I hate you, Rocky... I hate you!" Pouncing on his brother he delivers punch after punch to his face muttering that he hates him and crying at the same time.

Rocky sat there and took it.


	17. Fisting

"Fight back!" Colt punched the hard ground to punctuate his words.

"No." Replies his brother in a feeble voice.

That only seemed to make Colt angrier; he rears his head back intent on smashing it into Rocky's but he's surprised when a pair of arms wrap around his neck pulling him back and off of Rocky.

"Knock it off Colt, you're hurting him." Robbie says holding onto the ninja as tightly as he can.

But trying to keep a hold on Colt is a venture better left untaken as he shook and bucked like an actual wild horse to shake the male off. Rocky only watched as his brother made a fool of himself over this; wanting to say something, he instead spots Darren out of his good eye; the creep is really laughing it up.

_'Bastard.'_ Getting up he starts across the quad until Robbie's grunt called his attention to the Canadian.

Still attached to Colt, his brother slammed his, Robbie covered, back into the statue in attempt to beat the boy off- or break his spine with how hard his brother was making the impact. Rocky darts over to them slamming his fist into his brother's gut; Colt doubled over in pain being released by Robbie in the process. Foot sweeping his brother's from under him the fired up male drops heavily to the hard ground in an utter of pain before he's pinned down from behind by Rocky, whose got his hands on Colt's wrist and his knees on top of the back of his knees.

"Colt this is stupid, look at yourself, you're giving Darren exactly what he wants- us fighting, and its pointless...." Leaning over, he whispers. "I want you to calm down, really calm down and once you do come to our room because I wanna talk to you."

"Fuck you." He spits.

"I'm gonna tell you everything, so I think you need to come... but not unless you've calmed down, do you understand?"

Colt seemed to be thinking that over and when he felt his brother's weight ease up he nods in defeat.

"Alright. I don't care how you manage to do it, but you will be calm when we talk. I don't wanna fight you, not even a little and I'm sorry for hurting you... so this ends now." Standing, he walks over to Robbie grabbing him by the arm. "Come on." He starts for the main building.

Maggie watches them depart before going over to her boyfriend helping him up. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing a few days won't heal." He wipes the blood from his mouth.

"What did he say to you?" She asks curiously having seen the blonds' lips moving when he pinned her boyfriend down.

"He said that he would tell me everything but... only if I _calm down_ first." He mocks.

"Well, last time I checked I can be pretty calming." The girl suggests with a mischievous grin.

Smiling back, Colt shakes his head at how lucky he got to have dumped Olivia when he had.

Clapping his hands together, Darren approaches the male looking as though he'd just won the lottery. "Nice fight Douglas, you kicked your brother's ass- good for you. Let me guess he pulled out one of those Douglas family good will speeches to get you to stop. So childish; if I were you I'd still be kicking his ass."

Maggie scoffs. "Hn. If you him you'd be good looking."

Hand to his heart Darren says. "I'm hurt. Why do you say such nasty things to me Maggie? I thought we were friends. You get corrupted by this family and this is what happens."

"Whatever." Replies the girl.

Colt brushes the dirt from his clothes, the scene before playing out in his head. Darren was right to tell him whether it was just to get off on the fact that he's annoyed or whatever, because he honestly never would have known a thing and with proof now Rocky can't deny it. But... there's still the matter of what to do about it. Does he disown him, tell their parents and Tum, have his brother hated.... Its weird to think like this it really is but he can't stop the train from moving. Maybe... maybe if this whole thing is still going on he doesn't have to be the bad guy- not out loud anyway, he should instead hire a stooge to do it. And with as much pleasure as Darren seems to be getting out of this, he can only assume that he'd be an easy hire.

"Come on Colt, let's get you cleaned up."

"Okay."

.............

"Its all my fault," Robbie says when they've reached the common room and located a first-aid kit. "I shouldn't have-..."

Cutting him off Rocky says. "Is it just me, or are we the only ones that realize we're not together?"

"I-uh.."

"Because last time I checked you and I haven't done anything even remotely suggestive as to say we're a couple or something like that, bunch of shit heads." Bruised cheek landing on his balled fist, his elbow resting on his thigh he pouts in thought.

Robbie blinked but his confusion soon turned into a laugh. He didn't know what had come over the blond but hearing him talk like Sin without actually being Sin was just... adorable. And when Rocky looked at him ordering him to stop laughing he only laughed harder.

"Oh give me that," He snatches the cleaning supplies from the males hands causing him to laugh longer. Dabbing it to his lip he stands up leaving the room. He wondered if Colt were waiting for him in their room and he hoped like anything that his brother will listen to him and understand the truth without thinking there's more to it than there really is. He can't keep doing this with him, its ridiculous! Once Colt knows he won't feel so left out and then things can return to some type of normalcy.

Ellis knocked on the door frame before coming in. Robbie looked horrified wondering if she'd heard what he'd said a moment ago, but the girl seemed more interested in Rocky's injuries instantly coming to his side taking the cotton swab from his hand. The Canadian watches as the two acknowledge each other without speaking, he then figured neither of them were talking because he's still in the room.

"I should go."

"No," The girl request. "stay. I... you can stay, what I have to say is no big deal... I just didn't wanna start it so that I don't end up cracking or something, but I'm good and having you here will make not crying easier."

"What are you getting at?" Rocky asks.

_'Okay, now its just getting to be weird.'_ Robbie thinks. Once is fine, but twice? _'Isn't that just how it was last year? I should talk to him about it.'_ Nodding, Robbie says that he'll stay.

"Rocky, I... tell your brother that its sweet that he cares enough about me to order you not to hurt me but its really unnecessary, I can take care of myself. And in order to do that then I'm saying good bye to you and Jack. You don't love me, I get that, so I won't force you to like me if you can't. I only hope that she accepts your love and it makes the both of you happy."

"Who?"

"The girl that you can't stop thinking about. Its written all over your face when you're with me that you're thinking about someone else. Its alright, I just wish you would have been more upfront about it. I can take it."

"But Ellis, I-.."

She pressed her finger to his lips to silence him. "Don't. ...I'm not upset, I liked you a lot but I never thought that you were the one. At least, though, when I binge on my break up ice cream I know what flavor to get" Standing she walks to the door then calls over her shoulder. "Rocky Road."

Her sweet laughter is the last thing they hear from the girl as she disappears.

".....This is awful." Rocky says quietly.

"I know, and I'm sorry... its my fault Ellis thinks that you're into someone else- I should go clear this up with her right now."

Grabbing him back he pulls him down into the seat beside him. "I didn't mean being broken up with, I meant the fact that... I really don't care." He snickers quietly. "It... actually feels good to be rid of her and having to pretend that I'm happy when I'm not."

"Oh no, it really is you isn't- Sin!? What are you doing here," Robbie asks. "Does Rocky know that you're back?"

Cocking a brow at his friend Rocky shakes his head. "Rob' relax, I'm not Sin. Its me- just me."

Shaking his head in disbelief Robbie counters that statement. "But, you just said that you don't care and you feel free- Am I missing something?"

"What, I can't talk like that. I really don't care, I didn't wanna date Ellis whether you were in the picture or not, some things just are what they are. And as far as my alter goes, he and I are together, sealed deal. I just... I don't know, he always said that he was more dominant than me so whether I want to or not I may sound like him sometimes." Rocky shrugs.

"Oh."

They sit in silence for a bit then without warning Rocky leans over giving Robbie a simple kiss.

"Happy birthday to me." He smiles faintly before standing and leaving.

............

Colt did manage to calm himself down with a huge amount of assistance from Maggie and he returned to their room so he can hear Rocky's side of the story about the reason Robbie had his lips on him. Although, even if its legitimate can he believe it? Rocky's been lying to him thus far what's to stop him from making up another lie about it so he'll back off. He only hoped his brother has come to his senses and will stop this nonsense.

The door to the room opened and his brother came through it; he looks horrible. His eye is losing the reddening and is now turning black, his lip is swelled from the bruise and he has a few cuts covered by band-aids here and there from Colt's knuckles splitting skin. But Rocky acted as though they didn't hurt even a little, he just takes a seat on his bed and sighs in thought while looking at the floor.

"Colt-" He starts but gets cut off.

"Rocky, I'm sorry. After calming down I realized what we were doing and I didn't mean to hurt you that badly."

To Rocky it seemed as though Colt had been trying to hurt him this badly, but he accepted his brother's apology- granted he not do anything ridiculous like this again for a while. Nodding, he clasps his hands together. "Okay. I said that I was gonna tell you everything and I meant it."

Colt knew better than to listen to something like this without being mentally prepared for it, though, he still can't see ever being ready to accept something like this from anyone he knows. "I want the story from the beginning, I wanna know how this happened? How do you go from punching a guy to _this_..." He practically flicked the pictures at Rocky.

Leaning over he picks them up from the floor looking at them with a plain expression, though in his heart he cared deeply for the memory. Looking, now, into his brother's eyes, Rocky swallows then says quietly. "Robbie and I would have been enemies, we should have been but I couldn't hate him. He helped rescue me-"

"How long is he gonna praised for that?! Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that you're safe and okay, going back to being you but Rocky... you can't keep letting him hold that over your head- is that how he roped you in?"

"He didn't rope me into anything, I can't be bought Colt." Calming his building anger that's grown in him since rejoining with his alter, Rocky says. "I am grateful to him for helping rescue me which is why I couldn't tell him to go away when he asked to remain my friend. Yes, he kissed me but it was Sin that kissed him back, not me and I never planned on being with him but... I don't know, something happened and the more time that went by I just started to realize that out of everyone he was the only one that treated me like a person with a problem and not some rape victim or freak with a mental gift." Smiling faintly he goes on to say. "I liked it. I felt human again, he didn't avoid me because I could hear his thoughts, he didn't look at me like I was made of glass- sure, he felt guilty for it being his aunt that did those things to me but he wasn't consumed by it and I admire that bounce back."

"Stop it, because you're making me sick." Colt states in all seriousness. "I don't wanna hear a love story, I wanna know how far it went but that its stopped."

"We dated each other when I went to meet Arc," He shrugs as though its no big deal. "we said it would go no further than the week and it hasn't. He only kissed me, and to be fair, no I didn't hate it... but it just wasn't my thing being with a guy. So there, are you satisfied? Robbie and I are friends and nothing more."

"I'd be satisfied if you went back to hating him. Rocky, you _kissed_ a _guy_. God didn't plan it so that men touch each other, its sick and you gotta know that. Mom and Dad didn't raise us to be stupid."

Fully offended Rocky again steadied his anger to say. "Don't preach to me Colt, not when you stick it in any female thats wearing a skirt because you assume it was put on for you, needless to say the pregnancy scare.... I've had enough of this whole thing, but I'll tell you even if Robbie and I did want to be together it isn't anyone's business but ours. Keep that in mind."

Angry, Colt stands looming over his brother. "But its alright for you to police my relationships like you're dad?"

"I'm not telling you what to do, I'm trying to open your eyes from your infatuation- nothing more, you can't see the bad in the person you have feelings for so its my job and Tum's to look out for you. Is that so wrong?"

"You were with a GUY!" Colt shouts completely worked up. "It doesn't get any more wrong than that! ....Don't tell me what I'm doing wrong- or what you think I'm doing wrong anymore because I don't wanna hear it."

"Fine!" Rocky throws his hands up in defeat.

"Good!" He mimmicks the hand toss.

"Oh real mature! You know what Colt" Rocky says not believing his own words. "I should be with Robbie just to spite you and the rest of this stupid place because you're the ones with the problem- honestly I don't see shit wrong with it."

Shocked, Colt shakes his head. "Wow, Maria really must have done a number on you for you to talk like this. I just can't believe it, you know its wrong and yet you're saying its alright. I just can't believe its coming from you."

"Shut up." He whispers feeling tears sting his eyes.

"Is this because of Maria? Rocky, just avoid blondes that's all there is to it. You don't have to be tainted mind and body- its sick." After a thought he asks. "What about Arc?"

"Don't bring him into this, Colt." Rocky warns.

"Are you gonna teach him to be okay with this sickness?"

"Jeffrey." He growls.

"Because if that's the case maybe he was better off withou-"

His words are slammed back into his mouth by Rocky's fist giving them a shove. Colt fell back on his back hand going to his mouth.

"Don't ever talk about my son, that's the end for me in boiling points." He looks down on his floor bond brother with animocity. "I'm not much in life, but I want to be everything for his and I'm gonna make sure that I do a good job in teaching my son not hate. He'll love people for who they are and never turn into some monster because he can't handle things he cannot change." Backing away, Rocky turns the knob on the door. "I'm gonna try to patch things up with Ellis, since because of _you_ and your outburst she thinks I'm two-timing her and she broke up with me. I'm not speaking to you until you decide whats more important in life- being right or being a good person."

Colt checked his mouth in the bathroom mirror, the pain in it far too distinct to be just a bruise and surely enough his brother had cracked his tooth. He made some good points though, he should rethink his choices he doesn't want Rocky angry with him, but dammit why can't his brother see his side of things- for once! He never butts into anyone's life hating it when people do it in his own but this is something that Colt is sincere about, why can't Rocky see that?

"Fuck." He mutters.

Grabbing his phone intent on making a dental oppointment he instead checks the time then heads down the hall to the stairs. He can't just sit on his hands about this and as much as he hates it, he's gonna ask Darren for help.


	18. Proposition

A.N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing you rock for that! I like how this chapter turned out, I was nervous at first but then I thought dude this is ok. So here it is. Hope you enjoy it. Lighter. I can't wait until Top Chef comes back this August- watch it, just watch it. ^_^

...............

Rocky's destination was strictly to Ellis' room. He didn't plan on going anywhere else tonight, even though his feet keep trying their hardest to move him along to Robbie's room he isn't going to make the mistake of going to the male and end up having sex with him because his body aches for the male, mostly his mouth. He wants so badly to kiss him, to be made to feel that everything is going to be alright and who cares what everyone is going to be talking about around campus for probably a good long month until lack of proof bores them away. Rocky kind of wanted to see some of that lacking proof himself as he can't get the Canadian out of his head no matter how hard he tries; so naturally the best solution is to patch things up with Ellis so anytime his kissing urge acts up he can simply lay one or fifty on his girlfriend. Girlfriend, which is what men should have, not boyfriends. Why is it that morally he doesn't want anything to do with the male, but emotionally he can't stay away from him. Maybe remaining friends with Robbie was somewhat a mistake and he should tell his friend in a kind way that they should avoid each other like the ick. ....He couldn't do it. Robbie just makes him feel so damned good.

_'Damned.'_ He snickers at the choice of word. _'That's more true than it needs to be, ....I can see if Robbie and I had just kissed a few times, but we had sex, dated- sort of ....Why am I so stupid... why am I so messed up? I may forgiven her of her crime but... I can't be kind; I hate Maria for doing this to me, and I always will but no... I guess she didn't really do __**this**__ to me, I did it to myself because of the fear she instilled in me of women, I could have chose to be alone or something but I chose Robbie and now I'm stuck in all the problems that come with it because I can't let go. Hn. I don't think I'll ever let go.'_

Realizing he's made it to his destination, Rocky lowers his fist without even knowing when he'd raised it. He can't do it. He can't- its either Robbie or nothing, but he can't be in a relationship and have to be guilt stricken everyday because he can't properly love her. Its rude to the girl and he can't do it. Turning away, he starts back to his room.

"Rocky?" Says a voice he's never heard before.

"Yes?" Turning he waits for the person to come from the shadows.

A girl about his height maybe just an inch off, approaches him. He's practically struck down by her beauty: brown hair dark enough to look black lays in a braid behind her head between her shoulders with a sweep of bangs covering her forehead, her skin is naturally tanned and her eyes are slit so its hard to say for sure what color they are for sure but they look dark brown like her hair, slender but not overly thin as to expose bone through the skin.

"I'm Talisa Trang." She holds out her hand.

"Nice to meet you," He shakes her hand. "don't think I'm being rude but did you just want to introduce yourself."

"No. I um.. actually have something to ask you."

"What is it?"

"I'd rather talk in private. Do you know where we can go?"

"I.. I don't know, maybe the library."

Nodding, the girl walks passed him with Rocky coming along beside her. The walk was in relative silence for them and neither seemed to have the need to say anything. All around them the campus was still buzzing about the fight as they wondered and made really out there guesses as to why it happened. Rocky's keen hearing did pick up someone saying that it had something to do with Robbie and that Darren seemed to know. He wondered for a moment if he should go over there and stop them but decided against it. Last thing he needs is to give them word of mouth so that it can be picked apart and twisted.

Opening the door for Talisa, Rocky walks in after her being led to the very back shelves where there's a line of pushed out wall that creates a bench. No one knows if it were intentional or not but people slip back there and sit on it mostly because the light doesn't really reach and you can make out without being seen- at least for a while, because the librarian often comes to check shooing people away whether they're just trying to do a quick read from a book they took from the shelf or they're actually kissing. He and Talisa take a seat and before she can say anything Rocky holds up a hand to silence her speaking before she can.

"If you're gonna ask me out, then I have to decline because I just broke up with someone and I'm not really ready for another relationship yet, so-..."

The girl laughs. Its a sweet laugh, heady and heavy. Grabbing his arm, she says. "Rocky, come on, you didn't even let me talk and you're turning me down."

"Oh... I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"I do wanna date you, but" she raised her hand to silence him this time. "hear me out, its only to help us out."

"Us? Us as in you and me, I don't understand."

Scratching behind her ear, she glances around to be sure no one is listening to them beyond the shelves but the place is practically empty anyhow, so chances of being heard are slim. Thank goodness for the distraction of the fight.

"Rocky, I've seen you around campus with Ellis- my best friend knows her, you don't love her- romantically you don't even like her and I know why."

Shaking his head, Rocky defends himself readily. "No, its not what you think, though."

"It is what I think, I've seen that look because I've made it myself a few times." Clearing her throat she says. "Rocky, I'm a lesbian."

Double taking he shakes his head, and to make sure he'd heard right he asks. "I'm sorry?"

"I am a lesbian, I love women and I've never been with a boy once." She laughs. "I can tell by _that_ look you're wondering why I would tell this to you. Its because I have a girlfriend and I've been with her for four weeks secretly, but lately its hard to act like a simple friend to her- the voice change, you know when you love someone it goes up a notch higher, well, I saw how you looked at Robbie that day in the library and I wanted to ask you to be my boyfriend."

"I don't.. understand..."

"If I date you, and Robbie dates Eureka we can double date every time meaning I'd be with Eureka aaand-..."

"I'd be with Robbie." He can't help the feeling of his cheeks rising at the prospect of that.

"You do like him, right? Because if you don't than I can just find someone el-..."

"I'll do it!" He cuts her off.

Grinning from ear to ear she gives a little shimmy shake of joy before throwing her arms around him receiving a hug in return.

"This is so great I can't wait to tell her!" The woman cheers into his shoulder.

"I can't wait to tell him, this is gonna completely blow his mind."

"Ahahaha. I hate it, though, how they do this to us." She sobers up releasing him. "Always acting cute like they can't avoid it."

"He does!" Rocky agrees. "I'll be completely nuetral towards him all day then suddenly he'll laugh that snicker of a laugh that he has and I'm sent right back to the little room in my mind where he's all mine."

"You do not have a room, too?" The girl insist in disbelief.

Nodding, Rocky says. "I do. We're just in there, enjoying ourselves without anyone to tell us to stop. I love it in there."

Smiling, she nods. "Me too. ...Is this your first boyfriend?"

"Hn. My last, I'm not gay."

"You're bisexual then?"

"No." Rocky shakes his head. "I'm just _me_, who happens to have fallen for a guy this time. But there isn't going to be anyone else if things don't continue with Robbie and me, I'll be right back to women if anyone at all."

"That's heavy, you must have it worse then if Robbie is all that much of an exception to your normal schedule."

"Honestly, I think I do. He's everywhere to me, and half the time all I can think about doing is kissing him." He lowers his gaze feeling an uncomfortable raise in his cheeks admitting that outloud. He can't believe he's talking about all of this, truthfully. Its scary and yet exciting to be able to get it all out. "Whenever I'm hanging out with people I start wondering what excuse I can come up with in order to ditch them so I can hang out with Robbie."

Talisa listens quietly to him with a smile on her face. She's been in the same place before with her first girlfriend all she wanted was to talk to someone that would understand and as Rocky's... well, skirt, she felt that listening is what she would do for him.

"We were a couple for only a week in September because he and I left the state, he thought it would be a good idea to just be out there and have a nice time together. I think that only made my condition worse."

"Did you sleep together?"

"Well..." Rocky was hesitant; this isn't the sort of conversation you have with a lady present, she did ask, though. Paige doesn't count, its hard to tell what that little blonde monster is sometimes. Rocky's only seen her in a skirt maybe once or twice out of the entire time his younger brother dated her, other than that she dresses like a stray from a rap video- from the boys section. "At first I slept with him to cure my itch that was back... I don't before summer started, other than that its only really been two other times."

"Did you always like him?"

Rocky shrugs. "Not like I like him now, he made the first move I didn't think twice about him as anyone other than my friend." He smiles from the memory. "I had a headache and he gave me a massage, then he started kissing me on the neck and I kissed him back then I left and...." He trailed off shrugging a hand as anyone could guess the rest.

"Mmm. I first knew that I was a lesbian when my best friend Deb' helped me get dressed for a date with some guy that asked me out- first timer, I was 16 and my parents wouldn't let me date until then so I was very much isolated to women and, I don't know, somewhere along the line I developed feelings for Deb' so when she helped me dress I whispered to her to kiss me, she laughed and said "don't be weird", but I said I was serious and so she did. We ended up making out on my bed that night, I canceled my date when he came over and the two of us have been secretly together for a while but we broke up when I wanted to try sex."

"She didn't know how far the relationship would go for her?"

Nodding, Talisa taps Rocky on the thigh. "What about you? Did you make the offer or did Robbie?"

"I forced myself on him, no dating, no kissing, I just attacked him and he didn't reject me" He readjust his sitting position, turning a bit more to face the girl. "After I was found from the kidnapping everyone started to look at me like I'm fragile or tainted, they wrote me some sick mail asking me for dates and making suggestive comments about what we would do to keep my mind off what happened..... I don't get the logic of them but Robbie, he just was there and I needed that."

"Top or bottom for you?"

"Bottom, always." He couldn't believe he'd said that, as if he and Robbie had some glamorous future planned out. What is this girl dragging out of him, she could easily be working for Darren. "I mean..."

Talisa chuckles. "Its okay, I think I understand. Its different for women, though."

"Hey Talisa, can you answer something for me- if you know?"

"Sure."

"Robbie was beaten up around the time that I disappeared, did you ever see it going on or hear any of the reasons why?"

"Once," She nods. "some girls were chatting about it and I overheard. Anyone that liked you as a friend or former crush just went after him when they found out that he had kissed you and that's what made you take off."

"Do you know how they found out?"

She shakes her head.

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Just wondering, because it happened in our room- door closed and locked, and yet somehow everyone found out."

"Its not easy being into the same sex."

"It is for you, every guy loves a lesbian."

That made her laugh a little louder than she wanted to. "No, its not fun. I don't wanna be with my girlfriend and hear a bunch of sicko's calling out to us or getting off watching, I hate the women that turn their noses up and get disgusted or think we're doing it for mans attention. We just want to be in love." She rolls her eyes thinking about it. "My parents are really religious too and they _hate_ me for it."

"You told them?"

"I had no choice, they caught me kissing one of my girlfriends."

"What happened after that?" He's very interested it might help him get some insight on what his fate will be if Colt decided to go home and run his mouth to their parents.

"My mom would not stop crying, my dad thought that I was corrupted by my girlfriend and I only needed to get back on the Lord's path. Anything they could say against her they said it, anything they thought would help me break away they tried it and in the end you can't change the pictures on a poster just because you have a magic marker."

"Yeah."

"Are you planning on telling your parents?"

Rocky instantly shakes his head. "I'm in the same boat you were in and I just can't face that when I don't even know if Robbie and I will work out; why worry them and go through all the drama when I've got enough of that just trying to recover from the events of last year."

"Got it." Touching his arm she stands. Leaning over she plants a kiss on his cheek. "We may well get used to it, right? I'm gonna tell Eureka that you said yes. Let me know with Robbie, okay?"

"Okay."

"See you around."

"Bye." Rocky remained seated as he thought. _'Robbie... he's taking so much grief because of me, should I really do this to him? He's already got something weighing on his mind that he won't tell me but now I'm gonna ask him to pose as someone's boyfriend, like myself, so that we can go out. Its not fair to ask him, but its worth a shot.'_

................

"Gotta tell you Douglas, this comes as a surprise to me." Darren leans his weight back in the seat of the desk. "You coming to me for help."

"What help?" Colt chides. "I came to ask you to do an assignment for me."

"Same thing."

Rolling his eyes, Colt was beginning to think this idea was stupid. It may not even work. "I hate the idea of my brother being gay, I can't fucking stand it- it makes me sick and..." He shrugs. "It needs to end."

"Ahaha are you admitting to me that your brother is a queer? You do hate it." The crude blond can't believe what he's hearing, he wanted to get Colt's reaction but this is far better than he expected, the boy actually has begun to hate his brother! Oh how the mighty have fallen.

"I do. But that isn't why I'm here... I want you to make Robbie suffer, make him suffer like you intended- but failed at, torturing me and my brothers. The guy is a push over, I slugged him right in the face and he didn't so much as cuss at me. It should be easy enough to make him back off my brother."

"Assuming I do it, whats in it for me?"

Colt scoffs. "What more can you want, you get to make someone miserable- I thought that was your whole reason for living."

"You would think so, but its not. I want.... I want you to do something for me in return."

He knew this was coming, although, he'd kind of hoped that Darren would be too amped up from the idea of making Robbie's life hell to want anything more. "_Fine_, what is it?"

"I want an errand boy."

"_Forget it_." He couldn't have stressed the words any clearer.

"I think its a pretty fair asking since your brother is probably gonna retaliate on anyone that fucks with his little chocolate factory."

"Don't be disgusting!" Barks the ninja, his brother instincts kicking in. "He's still my brother and I won't let you bad mouth him... As far as Rocky goes, I'll handle him."

Darren again thinks this over. "I almost do kind of feel like I'm robbing you in this deal, you'll keep your psycho brother off me while I make a pansy ass cry. Is there a limit or can I really make him suffer?"

"Do whatever it takes to stop them from so much as being friends. I want him humiliated and warded off." Colt stands. "When he tells my brother he can't be around him anymore, your work is done."

"Wait." He ceased Colt's trek to the door.

"What?"

"Gimme your phone number."

Raising a brow, Colt takes his cell from his pocket. "My number?"

"Incase I have to call you about something."

That seemed shifty but Colt handed over his phone so Darren can put his number into it. "There. Is there anything else?" Asks the fed up male.

"Yeah, say I'm doing shit to Ballerini and I may need to embarrass solid as a Rocky... you're cool with that?"

"My brother's a big boy, he can handle it- probably expects that you'd be pulling shit anyway. Do whatever you like."

Darren grinned from ear to ear. It was eerie, but at the moment Colt could care less, he just wanted his brother to get back to being himself. Good ol' _straight_-as-an-arrow, Rocky.


	19. Its Raining Evidence

A.N: Hayasami you couldn't be more right. Colt has got serious issues and it'll only get worse before it gets better. Thank you for reviewing, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Lighter. And sorry it took so long, major writers block!!

...................

December 18th

Rocky, Tum Tum, and Robbie exit the mall with a single bag in each other their hands; Rocky's carrying a remote controlled speed boat for Arc- the final of the four gifts he's bought for the child among a karate gi, a Gameboy with a very easy for a 4 year old to play Pokemon game, a stronger pair of nunchucks since Arc has gotten much more skilled and faster with the little plastic pair Rocky bought him months ago. The boy is practically a prodigy with how quickly he's soaking up the information from Rocky's DVDs and working on the moves everyday until he could do the entire routine within 3 minutes, and now a remote speed boat for the boy to play with at the beach when he visits over the summer next year as Edith had promised he could. Rocky was praying for next year to speed it along; it was going to be something else having his son for the entire summer, what would they do besides the beach? And Arc will be five by then, maybe he could up the boys' ninja training. Is he ready for that, though? Rocky also can't wait for Grampa to meet him since when he visited he wasn't able to come over, he'll love him.

Robbie came to the mall in order to buy a gift for Rocky- which the ninja knew nothing about, and one for his girlfriend Eureka. The girl is really quiet, its almost strange pretending to be with her in Robbie's case. He's used to talk, talk, talk in his life so being with someone who's a bit on the shy side kind of sucks the talk out of him returning him to that young boy that used to hide out because of his gift. The other kids knew about it but they wanted no part in knowing their futures and the ones that did bugged him constantly like he were some sort of fortune teller of everything they wanted to know about. They didn't seem to get that his visions only happen some of the time, not whenever he touches something. How messed up would that be to go through life knowing everything? He doesn't want to know the things he knows as it is, so why add on to that. He looks over at Rocky wondering if he should tell him what he's seen. Its pointless, sure, but sometimes people wanna know stuff, he just wasn't sure how to put it, in the meantime he's just been enjoying what he's got since Rocky and this girl Talisa talked to him about the proposition. _'Hn. Imagine me in a secret romance; I always thought songs like that were so rude, but now I think they were kind of written for people like us.... its nice to be understood.'_ Thinks the Canadian.

Tum Tum came to the mall not only to get one extra gift for Paige- which would make two in total, he wanted to ask Rocky about borrowing his car tomorrow. He's very nervous, not about asking for the car because he's sure Rocky will lend it to him, but because he has plans for him and Paige- BIG plans. He's going to pick her up, cook her dinner and dessert, then make sweet love to her for the first time since they got together at age 11, Michael 'Tum Tum' Douglas has decided to get intimate with his girlfriend. Its all thanks to Colt and that stupid conversation they had before he left for college life; he just began to wonder why he and Paige have never gone beyond kissing- they don't even grope each other! He just figured it hasn't come up so why force it to, not-to-mention, Tum always figured Paige was one of those girls that wouldn't do anything until she was married but that proved to be wrong around the end of November when he was watching a movie with her and sex scene came up. She laughed and said 'geez, don't stop- get it, get it.' then very casually she looked at him and said 'punk, you never try anything.' And that's when he got his great idea to woo her. If only his girlfriend was a girl this would be easier. Who knows when an opportunity like this will come up again; his parents are going to San Francisco to visit his grandmother before their grandfather comes over to stay for the rest of the month which meant he will be alone, good and alone to do as he pleases.

When they got to the car Rocky pressed the alarm to unlock the doors. "Tum, do you mind driving? I wanna sit with Robbie before we get back to school."

"Sure." He takes the keys.

Tum Tum knows about the arrangement because Rocky told him a week after it was made. He thought it was weird, at first, like any of the things he hears about his brother's secret life but in time he got used to it. They have the week off for winter break so Rocky wanted to get a few more things done and invited Tum along; he and a few others went to the amusement park and Colt went with him for that so why not take Tum shopping with him. Dropping their bags onto the seat they scoot into the backseat. Robbie took Rocky's hand then rested his head on his shoulder with a phony sigh of contentment chuckling over it afterwards.

"Get a room." Tum Tum says peeping at them from the rearview mirror while he backed out.

"Great idea, drop us off at a hotel." Robbie teases.

"Don't even think about it." Warns Rocky joking as well.

"Rocky," He maneuvers the car into traffic. "do you think I can borrow your car for tomorrow?"

"I don't care."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask why?" He cocks a dark blond brow.

Tum shrugs, driving the car with a very casual look about him before he finally says. "I wanna treat Paige to a romantic date."

"Aaawww." Robbie says.

"Get a room." Rocky comments playfully.

Snickering Tum says. "I'll leave you on the side of the road you know."

Smiling at their sibling bond, Robbie asks. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Whoa-ho! Is it _that_ romantic date?" His brows wriggle up and down suggestively.

Tum Tum pales a bit keeping his eyes on the road. Last thing he wanted was to be backed down from his plan because of heckling.

"Oh brother, he's not answering," Robbie goes on to say. "you're really gonna do it, then? This is a big step, I wanna meet this girl- give her the drill session."

Smirking Rocky shakes his head. "She's great, you'd like Paige... although, she can be very... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Manly." Tum throws out. He knew it was true. Paige could out eat him without even thinking about it, rough house like she's a pro wrestler, and yet, when she dances and sings on the television show she's on.... Tum can't even put it into words. Her hair is all done up and sometimes she wears dresses, but her face still tends to get a little mean but when she looks like that its adorable rather than 'crap, who did it this time'.

"That's so sweet." Robbie leans forward. "Good luck, man."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, good luck- you'll need it."

"Need it, how?"

Rocky shrugs. "I've seen you two together, you're like two monsters waiting to see who's gonna make the first move- you'll never be able to make love to her."

"Yeah, she's probably into the rough stuff." Tum says defeated.

As if listening to the conversation from outside of the conversation Robbie asks. "Should we be talking about this?"

"I really don't think we should, the image is gonna form and then I'll have to kill you Tum."

His brother only laughed. "So where am I taking you? Back to school, our house- where?"

"Hey, can we go to your house?" The Canadian addresses his secret lover.

"Why?"

"I don't know... because...." He shrugs.

That reply was usually the Canadians way of saying 'because I wanna make-out or because I wanna have sex' both options were tempting but undoable.

"My parents are probably home."

"Naah, mom and dad are visiting Gramma until the twentieth, I've got the whole place to myself." Assures his younger brother. "Aand since I do wanna see Corey for a while..." He trailed off.

Pulse racing, Rocky grins and says. "Tum, don't ever doubt that you're my favorite brother."

"Hey, if it were me you'd do the same." He shrugs, though, he can't help but feel eight kinds of cool from his brother telling him that. He honestly thought that Colt and Rocky were on some weird plane of understanding each other and he was light-years behind, never to catch up. So this is like a small Christmas present for him.

"I would." Rocky says to his unasked question.

"What are you gonna do while we're hanging out?" Robbie asks.

"You kidding? _Black Christmas_ is out, we've been dying to see it- hope it doesn't suck."

They made it to the Douglas home, and to be honest, Rocky thought there would be some sick joke being played and their parents were gonna be there and Grandpa and Grandma but the house was, infact, empty. And as they made a mad dash upstairs they can hear Tum shout after them...

"Try not to kill each other."

before he closed the front door and took off. Sweet alone time.

................

"This isn't working out." Rocky says while staring at the ceiling; the hand that's clasped in Robbie's bounces off and on the bed beneath them.

"What isn't?"

"The arrangement, sneaking around- I don't like the whole thing."

"Yeah but, Rocky, we want to be together, unfortunately, this is the only way to do that." He turns his head to look at his lover, hair rustling against the pillow as he does so. "Sneaking and hiding, that's what its like to be gay."

Eyes narrowed, he sighs in agitation as- for the hundredth time, he has to say. "Yeah but I'm not gay."

Snickering Robbie then frowns releasing Rocky's hand so he can lean up on his elbow to look down at him. "Really, you are- in some way, but you're afraid to admit it. I love that its only me, but Rocky... when was the last time you were with a girl- I mean _really_ with a girl? What happened?" He cocked his brow in question.

Rocky didn't want to think about it, last time he was with a girl was too long ago to count- sure there was Ellis, but he wasn't really with her it only appeared that way on the outside so technically he hadn't been with a girl since Carmen in the tenth grade even then they were only intimate once and it was without penatration. And as far as what happens when he's with women he could only think about Emily and how bad it was with her. He couldn't get hard, hell he could barely lose his breath when kissing her but its lucky that nothing happened Rocky would have felt guilty over it for the rest of the year. Even though they split on very bad terms Emily is a good person and deserves a good life.

"Are you homophobic?" Robbie asks.

"No."

"Of yourself, not other people."

"N-..." But he hesitated. "No. I mean, I don't know. I don't want to be but.... I just don't know. Maybe I've got too much moral code in me to admit to myself that I'm wrong." He sits up. "Maybe I'm just not ready to believe it yet- don't make me feel bad over it."

"I'm not," He leans over planting a kiss on the brooding blonds cheek. "I just hope you don't push me away when you come to your senses."

"What does that mean?"

"Its not like it isn't true what everyone whispers about me," Readjusting his self so that he's sitting up as well he touches Rocky's shoulder. "I curupted you and because of me you're gonna end up sad or hurt and that's gonna piss me off because those are the last things that I want for you to be."

"Everyone has to be sad some time, its a way of life." Rocky states absently.

"You're so gloomy now, what happened to the fire-starter I was with fifty minutes ago?"

"He realized he's been texting his boyfriend's phony girlfriend so she can set up meetings for him, that's what happened."

Twisting his mouth back and fourth thoughtfully, he scratches his cheek. "That is kind of weird," As if something dawned on him he looks about for his clothes. Climbing off the bed he grabs his pants padding the pockets he then does the same to his sweater pocket.

"What?" Rocky asks watching the search.

"I think I lost my phone."

Reaching for his own phone on the nightstand, he dials Robbie's number to see if it might have fallen out anywhere in the house but there is no ring.

"Do you remember if I brought it with me when we left for the mall?"

"No, what would I know about what you stuff in your pockets."

Boxers already on, Rocky drops his legs over the side of the bed then pulls his jeans on, then his shirt. "Did you bring it with you?"

That made Robbie stop turning his clothes inside out. "Now that you mention it, maybe I didn't. Come on, I wanna go back to the dorms and check."

"How are we gonna get there, Tum took my car and went to the movies. That's some walk, I mean, fine for me but you..." He trailed off with a playful smirk.

"Hey, I excersize." He's getting dressed.

"Not as much as you should."

"Bleh, bleh, bleh- leave it to me to date a fitness guru." Once done dressing he crawls across the bed wrapping his arms around Rocky's shoulders. "We are still going out aren't we?"

"I don't know, we'll see but.... I don't think its a good idea to sneak around. That's all I can say."

"Aaaw, you are a little in love with sorrow, but I don't mind, I have a real crush on avoidance, I hate dangerous situations and that guy always bails me out."

Rocky snickers. "I'll call a cab."

* * *

A few things happened over the course of time between Rocky's birthday and today. 1. being Colt found out about this Talisa girl Rocky is dating causing him to feel guilty about teaming up with Darren since his childhood nemesis did say that Rocky might get caught in the crossfire. But then again, Rocky can take care of himself not to mention the fact that Talisa said that she finds the rumors hilarious since she and Rocky are obviously together- they even kiss quite heavily in public, its almost sickening.

2. And this one even shocked Colt, but, he likes hanging out with Darren- at first when the male came around with his this and that prattle to get him away from some of his friends so they could talk opperation ruin Robbie's life they finished their planning over a pizza and ended up just talking like normal people afterwards. Darren's sort of... well... funny. He says vulgar things pointlessly but so what, what male their age doesn't half the time so Colt didn't mind too much. Not only that but he told him things about his buddies that he obviously couldn't say to them like how Baha goes to fat camp and only comes back a little heavier, or how Russle had his genius little sister doing his homework until he left for college he laughed wondering how Russle is fairing. Infact he talked so much Colt joined in saying this and that about his family and friends. Although the only reason Darren said anything about his family is because his little brother lost his leg last year in a car accident, he was with friends and next thing they know they get a call and have to rush to the hospital. Colt gave him a kind word of sympathy.

3. Rocky was right about Robbie being bi as lately he's been seen with this chick around campus and in his and Darren's opinion the girl is too hot for a wag-liking-fag, as Darren likes to call them, such as Robbie Ballerini. Colt wondered if she knew that Robbie is infected, bte she'd break up with him real quick if she ever found out.

And 4. Never ever, ever, ever, ever talk about Arc. He's still working on paying for the dental bill for that broken tooth Rocky gave him. Its not that Colt has it out for Arc or wants to pick on his nephew but he had a point to get across and well Arc just got caught in it. It wasn't intentional or even meant to say anything bad about the boy but it was said and rather painfully shown why it shall never be brought up again.

But now presently he inside Darrens room after they spent the morning ran-sacking Robbie's room for things to harrass the male over. It really was a wonder Rocky hasn't come after Darren or his friends which means that Robbie is keeping his mouth shut about all the weird things that have been happening to him over time. Such as, the word fag spray painted across his door- he must have asked the guy incharge of the building if he could paint over and did so, then there's the fact that all his jeans were cut into short-shorts they didn't stop laughing about that one especially when the male still had a pair of jeans to wear which meant he wasn't changing the one pair that he was wearing that day when it happened- oh but he's replaced them by now. Colt's favorite one was when they put a bag over his head and tied him up in the bathroom after stripping him down and in Maggie's lipstick pencil wrote 'male molestor' across his chest. But still, Robbie has said nothing, though, for days the campus has been calling him 'Robbie with a penis hobby'. So today they wrecked his room and took the doofus' phone. They aren't sure where he went but Rocky did say something about needing the male to ask what Arc likes while he buys the child another Christmas gift so they may still be at the mall, so he's most likely with him still giving them plenty of time to mess around.

"Here we go, Eureka. I wonder if that's the girl he's been seeing?" Colt looks over the number. "I'm gonna write her."

"What are you gonna say?"

Colt shrugs. "I don't know, maybe I can tell her he's gay so she'll break up with him- naah, I'll tell that he's gay and that he wants to see other people." He starts the text.

"I hope you're doing that with Ballerini in mind, she'll know someone took his phone and faked it."

"I'm no idiot, I know what I'm doing."

Flipping through the photos Darren comes across a very useful one. "Damn, I don't even need to doctor this. When did this happen?"

Colt glances up then returns his gaze to the phone. "September, he went to some wedding for Robbie's uncle and they danced together and kissed. Hn. My brother admitted to me that he tried it out but didn't like it, so he's back on chick but still.... I can't shake the feeling that I'm being lied to." Sighing he adds quietly. "And so for that Rocky must be punished; he's always told me that even if I chose to lie we can't lie to each other, but here he is sleeping with men and carrying on like its no big deal- I can't let that go or the fact that what he's doing is sick and wrong."

"Man, ice cold."

"Not really, I just know what ticks me off and have the unfortunate lifestyle of acting on impulse."

Darren scoffed. "Its not impulse if you know you're doing it."

Pressing send Colt looks up at the male. "Darren, I'm sitting in your dorm room and actually having a nice time with you sometimes- you think any of this processes with me at the end of the day? Well it doesn't- sorry to burst your bubble."

The male just shrugged. He didn't care either way, but watching Colt act so frazzled has always been hilarious to him its actually kind of fun seeing it up close and personal.

"So what are you gonna do with that picture?"

"Maybe blow it up," Darren shrugs. "Copy it and pass it around, hell maybe I'll fling the copies around like flyers in the quad. I'd like to see either of them explain that away."

"Hn. Yeah. Only problem is Talisa and that other chick."

"Not really, a lot of people- and trust me I have a hard time believing it myself, but they think he's attractive women will rage and anyone that likes your brother will come to believe that Robbie's a sicko that's using him."

"Perfect." Standing he walks over to the window looking out. "I can see Robbie on a bus back to Connecticut already."

"Did you notice this?"

"What?"

Holding Robbie's phone Darren tosses it to the corner of the bed for him. "I looked through the sent messages and deleted ones, most of them seem like they're talking to someone else."

Picking up the phone Colt asks. "What do you mean?"

"Look, one of them says _tell him to meet at Super 8_, why would Robbie's girlfriend call him by Him?"

Finding it strange as well, Colt says. "I don't know."

Message 1: **Says she'll be there, woo hoo.**

Message 2: **We're going to the movies to see The Coven.**

Message 3: **That movie was interesting, but I barely saw it because Rocky looked too good in the dark.**

Message 4: **Tell me about it, I swear Tali' does it on purpose. Lol. Alright, enough of that I guess you'll sit by me in class later. Make sure you hold my hand or kiss me hello, do it with a little more passion, though.**

Colt's hand begins to shake. He's not entirely sure but... if any of this is saying what he thinks it is then....

Laughing Darren says. "You're brothers been pulling wool over your eyes."

"Darren this isn't funny." Colt says in all seriousness. A very hard swallow passes down his throat; hand releasing the phone to the bed he lowers his gaze to the dirty thing. "My brother really has been lying to me, I mean, I thought it was strange that he started dating someone so right off the bat but then again,"

Cutting him off Darren says. "What? The Douglas charm strikes again? Puleeze."

"....I... I can't care about him anymore."

"What are saying?" He sounds hopeful.

"I'm saying whatever it takes, we get them apart and keep them that way." Colt's eyes water. "I wanna make them hurt, I want it so that whenever they see each other it becomes sick and painful. We're gonna make the entire school hate them, hurt them, and never let them forget how wrong they are for being together."

Nodding Darren stands. "Then let's get started printing this picture, by the time they get back from their little trip to the mall they won't know what hit 'em because every jock, nerd, and goth will have one of these."

..................

"Hey Corey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." The brunet tosses some popcorn down his throat munching it loudly.

"Have you ever been intimate with a girl?"

"Twice." Replies his best friend.

"Really!" He can't believe it, since when. "Who was it?"

"They. Tristen last December and Abbey over the summer."

"Wow..... and how was it?"

Corey shrugs. "I don't know, they didn't seem to hate it. Why? Are you thinking about doing it with Paige?"

"Yeah, I mean, if she wants to. But I don't know how to start it. What do I do? What did you do?" He opens the car door sliding into the drivers seat.

"I played music, girls are big on music." Corey nods to agree with himself. "Then you make the room sexy, candles and flowers, maybe chocolates."

"I wanna sleep with her not go out on a date."

"What's the difference?"

"Ugh, now you're starting to sound like Colt."

"That's not so bad, Colt's awesome."

Rolling his eyes, Tum starts the car. "You may be on to something with that music suggestion though. I'll give it a try."

..............

Have you ever sensed something bad happening before it happens? Have you ever felt like you were walking into a battlefield or a trap. That's what it felt like when Rocky and Robbie stepped out of the cab and onto the campus. The air is thick and silent; students some they knew others they did not seemed to be whispering to each other while their attention is on them, but the thing that stood out the most is the sea of white all over the place.

"What the-...?" Rocky starts to say as Talisa walks up to him. "Tali' what happened? What's going on?"

"This." She holds out the paper to him.

Blinking, Rocky takes it into shaking hands and with a single glance he notices what is on it.

"Jig is up." She says.

"I'm sorry." Robbie says knowing that Rocky's reputation is going to go to shit.

"No, they're sorry. Every last one of them." Scrunching the paper into a ball he tosses it to the ground. Turning to Robbie he puts his hands on his shoulders then pulls him in, kissing him. Right there, right in front of everyone. And if they didn't like it.... fuck 'em.


	20. High Tension

Warning: There is sex in this scene so if you don't want to read it its at the end and you can skip it. Its M/F.

A.N.: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story still, its gonna end in about five more chapters I think. It is about time Rocky put his foot down, I cheered and boy is gonna get some more cheers because he lets 'em have it. Poor Souji, he's always so close to heart attacks when it comes to fighting and yet he lives so light hearted hahaha Colt is very undertandably hateble in this? Are those words? But he will come around, I hope. And girl I am not a yuri fan in the least, it drives me nuts to see it sometimes I'm not hating on it I just don't think its for me. I'll try to give Talisa and Eureka more air time but I'm still working on their personalities a bit. Enjoy the chapter. Lighter.

.............

Some people gaped at the spectacle, others laughed, some of the boys and girls made phony vomit sounds. Robbie looked as though he were going to drop dead right then and there, eyes wide but curious as to what was going to happen next. Rocky showed him, pulling away from the male he sighs bitterly then addresses the crowd of spectators and anyone the people planned to tell afterwards.

"There, that's as long as it was but since someone took a picture you're immature minds made it seem like it lasted longer...." Smiling, though it seemed more like a sneer he continued speaking. "Ha ha," A dry laugh. "and to think I've been trying to deny my feelings for him just to look good in the eyes of _you_ people." He practically spit the words with venom. "And why does it matter? Do you think any of you has a chance with me? Do you hate us together out of the dry, proof less, friendship you believe we have- wanna make sure I stay on the correct path and don't end up throwing my life away because some fag corrupted me? Hn. Do I come off as acting so Holy?" Eyes slit he barks. "My response to your dreams and righteousness for me- its not going to happen and you can go fuck yourself. ...I'm" He searches for a word. "busting my ass everyday just to stay a float and situate myself into a comfortable normal existence but I can't do that because somewhere along the way my take on normal and comfortable involve loving a male; I say, so what," He shrugs his hands out casually. "I think you should be happy with whomever but no... no, that isn't true in some aspects because I also had to take in the fact that I have a certain appearance to all of you. _You_ who are not my friend, _you_ that is in lust with me... for this, I deny myself to be happy just because you want to raise me up to a Gods status... if I'm such a God in your eyes than why question me?"

The silence in the air could have killed if it were touchable, to have an atmosphere that thick and so right in your face you'd never survive. And Rocky knew he was doing it, he's always been able to do it. No one ever thinks such things can come from a nice, good guy like him so when he speaks this way it is most definitely always listened to. He can only hope the message is coming in loud and clear.

"I fell for my best friend... I love him." He glanced at Robbie with a slight smile but it dropped the moment he turns his gaze away. "But because of you all I find myself hiding and lying to family and my true friends just to keep up appearance but mostly to keep him safe because for some odd reason you think hurting him will make change my mind and want to be with someone that would go to such measures just to be with me, well sorry but I've been with that kind of crazy before and I don't care to repeat it. I must have missed it somewhere in life's rule book that it reads when you like someone it automatically makes anyone they like public enemy. Would you like it if I went out with you and because some dimwit thinks you don't deserve me they can just say and do whatever they like to you? Its dumb right? You'd be upset, wouldn't you? So then why is it ok for you to be that dimwit because you're not the one I'm with?"

Talisa stifles a laugh at the sting that must have given.

"Dammit..." He can feel his anger leaving. "You don't have to like it, just know that its there and live with it because he and I are our business, not yours. So cut us some slack, please." He lowers his head laughing silently. "I just think that even if you don't like something or you don't know how to react to it, you should just look at it and smile because you don't have to say anything or think anything. It is what it is, so leave it alone." His kind voice leaves him again and angrily, darkly he says. "If you can't find a way to do that then take your problem up with me and leave Robbie alone, because I'm not stupid I know you've been hurting him and believe me if it happens again you'll be in a far worse place than if you come to me directly." Snatching up his lovers wrist he storms out of the quad towards the dorms.

"Rocky that was sweet, but are you sure you wanna do this?" Talisa asks following the two after spotting Eureka giving her a silent signal to come as well.

"I know what I'm doing." Rocky assures her glad that his anger didn't rat her and Eureka out if they chose to stay in secret but he can't do it, he can't hide anymore. He shouldn't have to. Seeing his brother in the elevated walkway Rocky releases Robbie's wrist to go over to him. Colt seemed as though he weren't expecting it raising a brow.

"Rocky-.." He started to say but is cut off.

"....I don't know how you're a part of this, but I know that you are. If you hurt Robbie again you can kiss your life goodbye."

Shocked by those words he says cockily. "You would kill me for some fling? What the hell kind of shit is that to say to your brother?"

"Who said I would kill you?" Asks Rocky before his gaze drops to his brothers crotch then back up to meet his gaze. "I only meant that I was going to ruin you forever; can't do much in your lifestyle if you can't feel anything below the waist."

Colt swallowed hard, he hadn't thought of that. But Rocky wouldn't cripple him. He wouldn't. There's no way his brother could love a... a Robbie more than his own family to wanna do something that cruel. _'I hate you.' _Colt thinks.

_'Likewise.'_ Rocky projects causing Colt to jump when he heard it. Smiling at his brother's reaction he can't wait to see it when he hears this next part. "And by the way, I want you out of our room. Pack your stuff and get out." That being said he walks away with his friends and lover in tow.

............

Laughing Talisa pats Rocky on the back. "I think you just scared the life out of half the campus, I wish I could have recorded that." Cocking her head to look at him she says. "You know, I never would have pegged you for vicious. Its a pleasent shock."

Rocky shakes his head to disagree. He always feels like he should have cept his mouth shut when he does things like that, he still has a way to go in getting over the everyone's image of him but he's sure he can, even if he has to fight the entire campus everyday he will live the way he wants and be happy.

"I swear, I think I had my first non-lesbian fantasy."

Rocky cocked a curious brow to that one. Women can be so strange sometimes.

Opening his door, silent the entire walk due to personal conversation going on in his head, Robbie's eyes widen in bitter shock. "What the-..?"

The others who were on their ways in made pretty much the same expression at the sight of the hurricane hit room.

"What happened in here?" Eureka looks about.

An angry sigh escapes Rocky but he doesn't snap or comment about it, he just grabs a box shoving things into it. "It doesn't matter, its Colt's problem now. Help me pack up his stuff."

"Colt's problem?" Robbie asks.

"Yeah, we're switching rooms, you're getting your room with me back."

"Sweet. Really?"

"Yes, really. Even if I have to throw Colt's things out the door for him, you're coming and he's going."

Not sure how he felt about that he couldn't deny the smile on his face as he bends down to retrieve something to place in the box. Good thing he doesn't own much stuff. "Guess this explains where he got the picture." Robbie says rifling through the envelope finding that the two with he and Rocky are missing. "What would make Colt do this, though, I thought we had everyone fooled. I mean, you explained the picture, right?"

"I did. Maybe it wasn't Colt directly but I know he had some part in it."

"Hey, my phone." Robbie picks it up. Looking through it he can feel the wind being knocked out of him. "Shit, that explains it."

"What?" Talisa asks while pulling clothes from the closet.

"I keep my sent messages incase the message doesn't go through, but I leave them marked as 'unread' all these are open. Colt must have seen them and put it together- I'm sorry you guys."

"Don't be," Eureka says. "what's in your phone isn't the problem the fact that your privacy was violated is. You should tell the dean about it."

"Nah, revenge only breeds more trouble. Better to just leave it alone." He stuffs his phone into his pocket. Reaching for his lap top that's been thrown into a corner Robbie gasps sharply, eyes wide he shakes while holding his grip of the thing.

Hearing the gasp, Rocky rushes over to the male. "Robbie what is it?" He shakes him to bring him back from what's happening.

"What is that? What is he doing?" Eureka asks looking to her girlfriend who shakes her head to say that she doesn't know.

Breathes coming out in hard pants, Robbie blinks. "I'm sorry."

Never having seen it happen Rocky, though, knows what it was. "What did you see?"

"A party, at the school.... everyone was being really nice and smiling."

Relieved, Rocky lets out a breath then snickers. "From a party? You looked terrified."

"Hey, seeing these shit heads happy is a terrifying shock. I was in that vision, you know."

That made Rocky laugh. The two girls look confused but don't ask about the joke.

...............

Colt felt sick with hurt and wonders over and over as he packs his things. _'Can Rocky really be this mad at me? Can he honestly be saying that he's gonna date Robbie like its not a big deal. The point of all the pranks and abuse was to drive them apart not together._ _How could my plan have backed fired? When someone is getting that messed up because of you, that should tell you that being with that person is viewed as wrong and you shouldn't be together.'_ He thinks. Closing up the box he figures he'll wait a while so he doesn't have to bump into Rocky and his disease on his way to his former room. _'I'll go see Maggie.'_

Walking down the hall he continues thinking. _'It was weird, though, I've never seen Rocky this pissed even when he was openly pissed. More over, he's never said things like that. Could Sin have come back? Tum once said that multiple personalities can come back if their job isn't done or the person can have more than one and not know about any of them. Can Rocky have had more than one?'_ He stops in his tracks. _'That must be it! Look at how essentric Sin was, the guy was an errogant bastard if I ever met one, whose to say this isn't just another alter projecting through Rocky and its He- possibly, and as scary a thought that it is, is the one in love with Robbie and Rocky has no say.'_

Darren walks up the hall cocking his head when spotting the ninja standing in the middle of the hall as though he were lost. "What's up horsey, you broken or something?"

Blinking Colt shakes his head. "Thinking."

"Hnhn. I'll bet you are." He starts walking. "Wondering how you're gonna get your brother back for this?"

"No. Something else. I do think I know how to get Rocky back, though."

"I'm listening."

"....Don't do it now, though, let him stew in his victory because my brother is gonna find out the hard way that I hate to lose."

December 19

Tum Tum picked Paige up at her house with a lump in stomach. Today is the day and it'll either become the best day of his life or one he'll never live down and be humiliated by everytime he sees the girl ultimately ending their relationship since it will be impossible to carry on with it without feeling like a huge failure. Paige is fiddling with the radio stopping when hearing the latest DMX song playing.

"I always get the tail end." She complains.

"Stop flipping so much and maybe you would have heard the start; wasn't the radio set on that station?" Tum comments turning the corner to his street.

Paige merely shrugged then changed the station once the song ended. "You're really gonna cook for me? What are we having?"

"I can make lots of things, I've had practice you know."

"I know, I know." She waves her hand. Looking out the window at the scenery pass by she smiled to herself. Alone in her boyfriend's home was going to be very adventurous for them. Hanging out at his house has never been so nerve wrecking before. What if he tries to make a move? Should she go along with it, knowing she's been curious for ages or should she play coy and push him away? Too many ways to play it up- if it comes up.

When the car stopped you could almost hear the swallow from both of them as they exit and enter the house. Removing their thin jackets and sneakers the two walk into the kitchen.

"I hope you don't mind microwaved food. I made it ahead of time and plated it before I came to get you."

"I eat _Hot Pockets_ don't I?" She snickers. Taking a seat she jumps from start when Tum shouts.

"Hold it!"

"What? What!? Is something on my chair?" She looks around for a pin or needle.

Sighing, he walks over to her pulling the seat back from the table. "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out. Sit."

"I was already sitting before you scared me out of it." Paige takes a seat, again, only now she has a pretty good idea that her boyfriend is thinking about the same thing she's thinking about.

Pulling her plate from the microwave he was glad that it was still hot from first being prepared so he only needed it on fifteen seconds to make it hotter. "Here you go." He sets the plate down before her. "Can I interest you in some wine?"

Curious, she asks. "Wine?"

"Well, its apple cider, but its fizzy."

Laughing, she nods watching as he gets the drink and pours it into a glass. After he retrieves his plate from the microwave, Tum Tum sits down in his seat. "Let's eat." He lowers his face, hunches over the plate then plows the food in.

"Its beef stir fry incase your taste buds haven't identified it yet." Paige says taking normal bites, though, she too is eating rather quickly.

Blushing, Tum straightens up clearing his throat. "Right. Sorry. I'm just nervous."

Taking a long drink, she sets her glass down to say. "You think I'm not."

Brows furrowed Tum asks. "What have you got to be nervous for?"

"Same thing you are."

"You can't be nervous for the same reason that I am, because I haven't done anything yet- or even told you."

"I know what you're planning to do and because of that I'm nervous."

Cocking a brow he smirks slyly. "Then what is it?"

Paled, she lowers her gaze blushing, then she looks off to the right angrily as though she's thinking of a better way to phrase it than what's going through her head. "Oh shut up, but believe me, I know."

A little embarrassed he says quietly. "I... were you serious about me and you when we watched those two people....?" He trails off.

"A little... I don't know."

"Well, we could cover this and just go upstairs and get it over with then so its not embarrassing we'll have dinner to come back to." His expression questions hers.

"...O... kay."

"We don't have to-.."

"No, I want to!" Standing, back stiff, she takes his hand. "Come on."

Her rush slowed down when they hit the first step. Tum could swear he heard his ears ringing as he slowly accended the staircase.

_'This is really happening.'_ He thinks. _'I'm really going to... do it.'_ He swallows hard again. Listening to his heart beat for each step he took, just a slow throb. _'Since when was thirteen stairs such a slow trek?'_ He can almost get a sense of his life flashing before his eyes as he walks up the stairs. The time he knocked his front teeth out when he fell from only the fifth stair, the time he broke his leg and had to sleep downstairs in their father's office which was fun because he got to spend a good amount of time with his father and a part of him needed that time in a way, then there was a flash of his love for candy, he'd always thought that if they could just find a way to incorpporate _Skittles_ into that long rope of _Twizzler_ than life would be sweet. When they reached his once shared bedroom he saw his young self eating jelly beans at the desk while doing his homework, Rocky is there speaking to Emily over their can phone, and Colt listening to music while reading from his history book- if he were actually reading then like sand in an hour glass he saw Rocky leave, then Colt and now he's there- alone, reading over a driving manual while his mother talks about different colors to paint the room if he'd like.

"Ready?" Paige asks.

Taking in a breath, he lets it out. "Yeah."

...............

Grinding, that's what Tum Tum always sees on tv; two people in bed with the covers over them grinding. They pretty much have that down since their kissing has become more advanced in the years they've been together but he's never really gotten off from it, its just been something they've done. Its different this time because this time, well... he's hard from it and with that he knows what comes next.

_'Were Rocky and Colt this nervous?'_ He wonders as his girlfriends tongue brushed his own. _'I should have asked them more questions- or at least Rocky, Colt might make fun of me.'_

Paige let out a little moan- which, for their kissing, was also something new. They decided to undress but to leave their underwear on and to avoid being uncomfortable on the first time they're covered by the blanket.

_'__**Could**__ Rocky help me, though, he's with a guy now and from what I know he prefers to be on bottom.'_

"I think we have to do it now." Paige says.

"What?"

"Now, we have to try now." She repeats. "Do you... do you have a condom?"

"Umm..." He can hear his mind screaming at him that of course he has one, but he's so nervous he forgot where he put it. "I think so."

Frantic she asks. "Well do you or don't you?"

"I do, its in... its in..." He scratches his head. "the dresser. Hold on- and close your eyes!"

Doing as he asks she closes her eyes. He quickly climbed out of bed wishing he had more than his boxers to hide his erection incase Paige peeked he could only hasten his mad dash for the condom and return. "Got it." He says climbing back into bed. "Now what?"

"You put it on and we do it." She said it as though it were so simple.

_'We did this in sex ed. how hard can it be?'_ Tum managed to open the package, he managed to slide it on but when it came down to sticking in anywhere he froze. "This won't hurt you, will it?"

"I thought it was supposed to."

"I don't know." Grabbing the waistband to her violet blue underwear he gulps. "I'll try to keep it from hurting."

She nods. "...Go ahead!"

"I was but... I have to look to make sure its- you know, in right."

She scrunched her face like it were the grossest thing she's ever heard but it went away and she closed her eyes waiting for it to happen. Taking a breath he says a little hopeful. "Or maybe you could do it?"

"No way. I'm not looking at it or touching, you do it."

_'Be a man, be a man... the music!'_ Getting off the bed he dashes over to the stereo pressing the on button, then he briefly flips through cd's on his dresser taking the one that would best suit the mood; something slow and earthy with no music, he found it in Rocky's car when he first took it and listening to it at the time made him bored enough to cause an accident but it would work perfectly now. _'Now I'm ready.'_

Returning to the bed he climbs back onto Paige's hips after a quick glance he sets himself in place and carefully, very carefully.....

......It had hurt, but he kissed her so sweetly until the tension in her lips as he moved slowly in and out of her went away and her arms wrapped firmly around his neck. And now that he knows he isn't hurting her he can enjoy the warmth in the room and the heat coming over his body and he can't stop his hands from tracing her figure before settling on her covered breast. Tum thought her hand had come from him in order to shove his hand away but she only helped it to move under her bra. Their kissing intensified and their movements picked up. He wondered if it would be alright to open his eyes but he kept them clamped praying that she did the same. And with shudder of breaths and movement with one final thrust it ended in a moan and blinding light.


	21. One Winter Night

A.N.: Sorry for the late update but my computer was having some serious issues. But I hope you enjoy the chapter. Lighter.

............

December 23.

The Douglas brothers are out for their usual night stroll to get reacquainted with one another's days, much to Colt's anger and dismay of having to hear anything that Rocky-the-man-jokey, as Darren is now calling him, has to say he still came along anyhow to speak with his younger brother and no one else.

"...Well, I'm just gonna get it out there," Tum says glad that its dark enough to hide his blush. "Paige and I made love."

Both brothers were stunned to say the least; mostly Rocky he didn't think Tum Tum would actually go through with it since his little brother is usually more passive when it comes to making the first move.

Colt chuckled quietly. "How was it?" He asks curious to know what his brother would think of his first taste of sexual feelings.

"Umm... it was terrifying... I kept forgetting everything that I needed and wanted to do but-..."

"What did you forget?" Rocky asks his gaze at the night sky.

"The condom, the music, the chair being pulled ou-.."

Again he's cut off by Rocky who looks at him wide-eyed. "You forgot the condom?"

Waving his hands Tum Tum says. "I did but then I got up to get it, so I used it, don't worry."

Letting out a breath of relief he says. "Good."

"The sex itself was... intense... I honestly thought I was gonna pass out from the heat and the breathlessness." He lowers his gaze to his sneakers; he still wears the pairs with blinking lights on them. "Is sex always like that or does it get boring because you're so used to it?"

Rocky thought that over but Colt answered right away. "Tum tum, sex gets better with age and experience, trust me, because older sometimes _is_ wiser and you can try all kinds of new things."

Further embarrassed Tum wished that he hadn't looked at his second brother then asks. "Like what?"

"Like positions, speeds, toys-.."

"Colt knock it off." Rocky snaps. "Not everybody has sex like you."

"I think you've got it wrong, Rocky, not everyone has sex like _you_."

Rocky didn't need to ask what that was supposed to mean because he already knew. Tum Tum doesn't so he felt obligated to know. Honestly he's felt the tension and charges in the air between the two of them just waiting to go off. Now is the time to get to the bottom of it he guessed. After some point whenever he called one of his brothers and mentioned the other to them the called just about hung up on him or chewed his head off saying that he could careless what happened to the other one. Never good to hear from people who are as close to one another as he is with his family.

"So what's up with you guys? Are you fighting over a girl again?" He teased to break the tension.

"Tch." Colt scoffed.

"Hn." Rocky looks in the other direction.

"Okay, the silent insults to each other have been issued now will somebody talk? Please?"

"Tum Tum, the thing is.... Colt and me aren't really getting along these days because" He looks at his brother being sure to direct his words and tone personally toward him. "he's turned into a fag hating, jackass."

"Oh shut up. I'd rather be a hater than a queer."

"What queer?" Tum asks, slightly on page with them.

"Oh what, are you too embarrassed to tell your younger brother that you suck cocks, but you'll gladly tell off the campus?" Colt quips.

Flustered, Rocky balls his hands in and out of a fist. _'Calm down Rocky, he's just trying to rile you up again.'_ Sighing out a calmed breath he says to his younger brother. "Tum, I was going to tell you but every time I wanted to I held back- I don't know, I guess I was just nervous about how you'd react, that maybe you'd tell mom and dad."

"I wouldn't tell mom or dad." Tum says in a plain honest tone.

That wasn't the way Colt heard it. "Ya see! Even Tum is ashamed of you. ...And unlike you he doesn't wanna insult our family and tell our parents about how sick you've become."

"And would you!?" Rocky barks a hard glare trained on his brother. His Chinese sign may be of the dog but that doesn't keep Wolf out of that pack they're just a more primal breeding. "Would you hurt our parents by telling on me for being with someone when you don't even know if it will last? Tch," He scoffs. "of course you'd say something." He shrugs it off. "you're best friends with Darren now, and you idiots would do anything to sate your need to make us feel like shit."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa- _what_? Colt, seriously?"

Colt rolls his eyes. "So we made up, it happens- Rocky is the real problem here, let's focus our attention on that."

"No!" Turning to face his brother, all walking has ceased, Tum Tum says bluntly. "You're acting like a real ass Colt, you're gonna treat your brother like shit just because he's found a way to be happy? Have you forgotten about what happened to him or something, I'm not saying that Maria is the reason he's decided to date Robbie but cut him some slack and let him find his footing until he feels better."

"Ha!" Rocky chides.

"And Rocky," Turning to face him now he says calmly enough. "Dude, I'm happy for you... I really am, but you can't be mad at Colt the way you are because you had to know how something like this would effect people whether you're happy or not it won't always be all the matters to some people. So please understand Colt's feelings and don't jump on him for being stupid. I honestly think that in time he'll come around."

"But-.."

He cuts Rocky off. "But even if he doesn't, you're brothers first and no love can come between that... besides, Robbie doesn't even have to be around you two when you're together. He's not here now... so why are you so hostile and mad? Can't we just calm down and be a family and stop trying to hurt each other just because we disagree and someone wants to be right?"

The two eye each other curiously and then with a nod, they hold out hands giving it a firm shake.

"Thank you." Straightening, he starts to walk again. "Now can we please get back to me/ I'm feeling kind of important over here and you creeps are spoiling my mood."

"Sorry." They both say in unison.

Walking in silence, Tum steals glances at his second brother. "....Not to bring up a bad conversation but, what the hell with the Darren thing, though? I thought the guy was public enemy."

Colt shrugs. "When he's not being a shit, he's actually pretty ok. We even have lunch together sometimes. Is it so wrong to make amends?"

"I guess not, I mean, I'm friends with his brother and he's never once given me a problem."

Rocky listens silently while they speak to each other.

"I can't believe he lost his leg though, that must be a real pain."

"He did?" Asks the blond.

Colt's thigh vibrates alerting him to his phone. _'Looks like Darren and his friends are making their move. Sorry Tum, but I always get what I want, and if I don't want Rocky and Robbie together I'll see to it that they break up no matter what.'_

* * *

Robbie turns over on his bed a smile on his face as he can smell Rocky's shampoo on the pillow case in front of his nose. They figure its pointless having separate beds when they could just have one well-sized one when they push the two twins together. Having his room back is the best thing that's ever happened to him, to be honest, he's never felt safe alone in that dorm. He could swear he heard people whispering outside the door some nights; the voices were a blank to him except one was a bit familiar but not enough to see a face clearly. He once touched the knob when he thought one of the people outside had but no vision came to him so he figured it was paranoia from having to sleep alone. He's glad that Rocky told everyone the truth, and that they don't have to hide anymore- some people have even offered him a smile as Rocky suggested but they never meet his gaze either from being ashamed that they had laughed at them or made fun or because no matter how they treat the situation they'll never accept it. That was fine with Robbie, he would rather take silent human respect than the beating and insults, though, not everyone saw it that way and some of them still shoved him or called him names- Rocky as well if they were together at the time, but he knows that no one would dare call the ninja names alone. Rocky has stopped his violent need for him, in some ways he liked that in other ways he sometimes thought people would kind of deserve it but that's only the devil lurking in him, it happens to everyone at some point a random negative thought.

"How're we gonna get the door unlocked?"

Eyes open he sits up in the bed. He's not imagining things, someone is out there. _'Get the door open, fuck.'_ Getting out of the bed he hurries over to the closet grabbing a bat. Standing beside the door he can see the knob turning, when the lock clicks to say its in secure, the knob then rattles violently up and down.

"Do you think he's even in there?" Asks another voice.

"Why would he not be, campus is locked down for the night." Replies a third voice.

_'Three of them.'_ He notes. _'If they break in here I'll hit the first one over the head with- no, I'll swing it at their forehead to knock them back into the others, then I'll run like Carlos to Talisa's room.'_ He didn't think Eureka could handle it if they followed and brought a fight on. Raising the bat over his head something dawned on him. _'Hold on, the door will be in my way. My plan won't work if I have to move around it.'_

Walking out a bit he tries to switch positions at the door but it was a little too late as the door swung open allowing the intruders in. Aiming the bat at the first person he swings only to have to knocked away from him like it were a stuffed bear. The bat clattered to the floor and so did Robbie just as quickly, his arms braced out next to him. He grunts in pain when a knee crushed down on his wrists, kicking his legs wildly he tries to shout but tape is put over his mouth muffling his cries.

"Hold his legs." Says the tallest one.

Robbie managed to kick the guy going for his legs in the jaw rather hard backing him off but someone else grabbed his legs in the recovering males place. "I got 'im, I got 'im." He assures the ring leader.

Rolling his eyes, he lays still. _'Alright, so they got me. Just beat me up and let me get back to sleep.'_ Trying to see them through the bit of moonlight coming in through the half open window, he can't make out any clear faces they're all wearing masks. _'The masks are a bit much, though, I already know its Darren and friends... only thing is why they're still harrassing me. Are they really that balsy that Rocky's threat meant nothing to them? Whoa...'_

He's lifted into the air and dragged out of the room.

December 24.

"And guess what, daddy?" Arc says his big voice disappearing from the phone for a second before he came back. "I got all your gifts right here, aunt Edi' says I can shake them but I can't open them."

Rocky laughed. "She's right, you've gotta be patient."

"Did you been shaking my gift?" His broken sentence asks curiously.

"I've shaken it, I'm very curious as to what it is. I might have to sneak a tear at the corner."

"Nooooo!!!" He cried out in mock seriousness.

"I won't, I promise."

"Is master Splinter there?"

"Our grandpa? He's here, do you wanna talk to him?"

"Yes, please." The boys claps his hands.

"Hold on," He waves his grandfather over to him. "Its Arc, he wants to talk to you."

"He does?" The man beams. He hasn't been able to meet the boy yet but he's very excited to. "Hello?"

Smiling at the scene, Rocky walks away after whispering to his grandfather to say goodbye for him. Heading into the kitchen he kisses his mother on the cheek. "Can I help with anything?"

"Yes, you can tie your brother to a chair to stop him from sampling the cookies."

"Tum Tum." Rocky shakes his head is mock disappointment.

Swallowing a bite of chocolate and peanut butter chip cookie, he asks. "Well, if we're sending them to people don't you wanna know that they all came out alright? That's what they teach at culinary school."

"I'm gonna have to wonder about that school." Jessica jokes. "Can you roll out that dough and make some shapes, I wanna send these to Georgie's family and Erika Pinkney from the hospital."

"Okay." Rocky grabs a ball of dough moving it to an empty counter top.

"Colt, play White Christmas again." His mother request from the male sitting in the living room playing lounge club with the piano.

"You got it."

Jessica and Tum start singing in muttered voices, Rocky chuckles saying that he never did learn the words to the song. His phone buzzes in pocket. "Shoot." Leaving his station he heads to the sink to rinse his hands, drying them on a napkin he tears from the dispenser, Rocky then answers his phone. "Hello?"

"Rocky, I'm sorry.." There's a dry laugh that followed those words. "I don't know what I thought I was doing, it only made them more excited."

"...Robbie?" Rocky asks.

"Yeah, its me."

Feeling his heart stop he asks. "Where are you? What's wrong?"

Jessica and Tum Tum could hear the grave tone Rocky has taken and stop their work to listen in incase they can help.

"I'm um... ha, you know what, judging by the sounds I'm probably in the boiler room at school."

"What do you mean probably? Can't you tell?"

"My eyes are swollen shut, I can barely hold the phone I'm shaking so badly, can you please come get me?" He sighs. "I'm afraid that they'll come back."

It sounded like he'd started to cry and that was all Rocky could stand at that point. "I'll be right there. Hold on." He hangs up. "I gotta go back to school for something."

Tum tum knew what that something might be, so he helped his brother out by saying. "More thefts?"

Thanking his brother with his eyes he nods. "Yeah, Robbie's computer was stolen. He wants me to help track it down."

"I hope he finds it." Says his mother opening the oven. "I can't believe students are stealing from each other, what is this world coming to."

Rocky made a mad dash out of the house and into his car.

..............

"Robbie! Robbie!?" Opening his mind he feels a light buzzing coming from the far right corner of the room. Hurrying over that way he sees the male huddled into fetil position sitting against the wall. "Robbie," Kneeling down he whispers as he unties his hands and feet. "its me, Rocky."

"I know. Thank you." He sounds very beaten down and tired.

Rocky can see why, whoever did this- and he's sure he knows who, did a number on the male this time. His bruises are past purple and turned black, his eyes are reddening to purple and he has this cut and that on his face. A split lip has swollen at the corner of his mouth and his legs look scraped up by fingernails. That's when it hit him.

Feeling his breath still, Rocky asks in a serious tone. "Robbie why are your pants down?"

Robbie parts his mouth to answer but he could only cry instead, as painful as crying with beaten eyes is, it was his only response.

_'They couldn't have... they wouldn't? To keep us away from each other they would go this far?'_ Rocky wraps his arms around his lovers back holding him close. "I'll get them back for you."

"Don't. Don't, they might just do it again."

That tightened the blond's grip as anger seathed through him.

"Ow."

"I'm sorry." He loosens it then. "Here, let me get you back to the room."

"I can't. I can't go back...." Robbie says standing on shaking legs; pulling his jeans closed, he sighs. "Its not safe."

"It will be, I'm not leaving your side from now on. I'll stay at school over the holidays, that way no one can bother you again."

"No, no, you have your family to be with."

"Then let me loan you some money so you can go home to yours."

"And let my mother see me like this? I'd die." Arm around Rocky's shoulders he takes a step leaning heavily on the male.

"Who was it?"

"They had masks on but, I think it was Darren and his friends but I can't be sure." His words hitched as pain shot through him. "Aaah! Dammit!" He spat. Kneeling down, he holds his butt trying to ease the pain.

_'Those bastards... I'll make them all pay.'_ Rocky thinks as he kneels down in front of Robbie. "Grab on, I'll carry you piggy back."

Robbie laughs. "Thanks. You know, there were five of them- from what I could feel." He teases giving the male a squeeze. "They think they've got me down but I've had bigger." He nuzzles his bruised cheek against Rocky's shoulder.

"Robbie don't joke.... but at least I know that's your way of saying you're gonna feel better."

"Oh so you've caught on, guess I should stop being so predictable."

_'You should, I know that you're really only joking because you're very hurt. You always do that.'_ He walks slowly so the male isn't jostled too much. He remembers to vividly how much it hurt when it had happened to him. But all five of them? They have to pay. They just have to.

.....................

Rocky lays the male down on their pushed together twin beds then climbed in with him, holding him around his waist. "Can you get some rest? Do you maybe want some pain killers? Or something to eat or drink?"

"No, I'm good."

"Robbie you have to go to the hospital, they raped you?"

"Yeah but like I said- I've had bigger, and besides, nothing was torn so it seems pointless."

"But you don't know that.... you could... I don't know, just tell the doctor we had rough sex or something."

"No chance in hell I'm gonna make you look bad. I do think they should have some kind of punishment but my crafty passive aggressive ways should eventually wear on them and they'll leave me alone. Nothing worse than looking like a dick because no one retaliates on your actions and yet you keep it up."

"If only they cared about that. I... I have to do something, though- maybe not beat them up but something."

"Alright, but, can you do it later? Right now, I just wanna get some rest."

Nodding Rocky hugs him. "Of course. I'll be right here and you can come to my house to spend Christmas and the rest of winter break... I'm sure my parents won't mind."

"What about Colt?"

"If he's gonna act the way he is than he deserves to see us flaunted in his face, he can have all the attitudes he wants."

"What if he tells on us?"

"Then we'll take that one step at a time, but for right now, get some sleep."

"Okay." Taking a deep breath he allows his aching body to sag into the mattress.

Rocky lay beside the male watching him sleep, the troubled lines on his face melted away leaving a bruised but still handsome face. Rocky can't let this happen again, because, like to as he does he can't always be around the male. _'I have to go see that creep. I have to make him stop ....even if it means putting myself at risk for more punishment, better me than Robbie.'_


	22. mastermind

Rocky, having unlocked the door using his mental gift, walks into Darren Whittles dorm room closing the door after him, locking it with his hand instead of his mind. Casting his eye about the room the male takes it in to a typical jock room, sports posters wherever there were no women tacked or taped up; Darren even has a few trophies for baseball, so he must have pitched a few winning games. A microwave sits on a small table, next to it is a bag of bagels. Typical dorm room. All he needs to do now is wait for the bastard. Taking a seat at the males desk he lets out a heavy sigh; he doesn't wanna go through with something like this, especially not to Darren but it has to be done; even the most evil person has a shred of humanity that you can make contact with and he intends to do so with Darren by telling the male about his shady past. If Darren listens he may feel compassionate enough to back off of Robbie and leave them alone to their happiness, if not than his troubles may only get worse as the male will have more than enough ammo to blackmail him with if Rocky doesn't want his business spread all over the campus. Its a scary thing having someone have something to hold over your head, it really is, because not only are you nervous of when the day might come where they stop caring about their power and just tell everyone then there's how you're going to be treated once everybody knows. Rocky knows how he's going to be treated and it sickens him to the soul.

The lock on the door flips over the knob is then turned. Darren walks into his room with a bag filled with, what smells like, dirty laundry. He must have been out on the field practicing or something, he'd have no reason to change otherwise. The male walks over to his bed stopping a second to hold onto his head as he feels a slight headache coming on. The reason for this is because Rocky is using his gift on him, holding the nerve where his vision is kept to prevent the male from seeing him right away- nothing wrong with instilling a little fear into a person every now and then, plus he deserves it for what he and his friends have done to Robbie, he actually deserves a lot more but Rocky has never been one for revenge- not right away any way.

With the door closed, Rocky looks over to it with a slight shift in though Darren turns hearing a knocking at the door.

"Who the hell is this?" He walks to the door pulling it open and with a sudden cocky stance the male asks his visitor. "What do you want Douglas?"

"I wanna talk about what you and your buddies did last night."

"Hmph. You can't prove anything, so why bother talking." The male shrugs.

"Because if it happens again I can't be held responsible for what happens to you when I find out."

"Aaaw, your concern for me is touching but terribly misplaced- I'm not into dick."

Rolling his eyes, Rocky looks over the taller males shoulder. "Can I come in?"

"I just said we're not talking, so what makes you think you can come in?"

Behind him, the real Rocky pokes the taller blond between his shoulder blades. "Because I'm already here."

"Shit!" Jumping out of his skin the male turns around wide-eyed and frightened, spinning on his heals seeing that the Douglas male is still beyond the doorway. "How the-... when did?"

His incoherent babble went on like that for a moment as Rocky released his hold on the males vision. He hates the idea of getting that trick from Maria but its actually very useful. Leaning past Darren, who's backing away in fright, to close the door and lock it. Darren continued backing away until he hit the bed. Rocky approached slowly, one step at a time until he reached the place where he was once sitting.

"Darren, listen... I didn't come here to fight or scare you shitless. I came to talk and nothing more."

Seeing that the male has a fairly innocent face and has chose to sit at his desk which is no where near his bed he composes his self and sits up. "Fine. But then I want you gone or I'll call the dean."

"Yeah, I'm shaking." Rocky waves the threat off. "Darren, I didn't come here to get an explanation as to why you did what you did to Robbie I merely came here to ask you to give us a grace period. Six months... if you do this for me than you can do whatever you like and won't be punished for it if not than..." He locks gazes with the male and says in a low tone. "I can do some serious damage to you as payback for raping my boyfriend."

"You can't prove it was us."

Smirking the male asks. "Oh really? Then how did you know there was an 'us' when I only mentioned you?"

"Y- you... what makes you think I'll just give you what you want? I'm not afraid of you, or your ninja tricks."

"You seemed pretty scared to me, but let's stop talking about this, okay? I'm gonna state my case and then afterwards you can decide what kind of person you are and do what you will, but I'm hoping that deep down you're an ok guy. You get along with Colt and you two were far worse than you and I so what changed? When we first got here you and I used to exchange little bits of conversation or notes from things missed in class now suddenly you're that same prick from our childhood?"

Darren rolls his eyes to that but Rocky can see he's gotten under his skin a little bit.

"Darren, what I wanna tell you I haven't told to anyone- not even Robbie knows." The jock seemed to be listening so he goes on. "When I was seven I was kidnapped from school and because of that one day my life changed forever."

................

Darren sniffled hard by the time Rocky was done with his story. He couldn't believe all that the male has been through and for him to still be standing and that he's still willing to live is beyond amazing.

"Well?" Rocky says in wonder of the answer to his question.

"I feel sick." Darren responds. "I... I just couldn't image that all that stuff happened to anybody outside of movies."

"And you just heard about it, try living it." Rocky says quietly. "Everyday is a reminder of what happened; I'm tainted, jaded, sometimes I feel lost and I stare into space until my mind stops having its horrible flashback to let me go through my day. But Darren through all this pain I found a way to be happy and surprisingly its with another human being, that its a male is weird even to me but its not gonna stop me from holding onto the good feelings that I haven't had since starting ninja training. So please..."

"I'll leave you alone." Darren nods.

Unable to hold off his smile Rocky asks. "You will?"

"I feel... man its fucked up, about all of that and for me to mess with you... would just be wrong." He nods. "I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you."

"But man.... she raped you with a dildo?"

"Yeah." He says in a small voice filled with shame.

Darren shakes his head. "Then why are you fucking around with Ballerini?"

"Honestly, its still weird even to me... I'm not gay, I don't find men attractive even a little bit and yet with him..." He shrugs. "Maybe its because I don't know why I like him that makes me like him the way I do, but whether its good talk or bad our business is none of yours. So thank you for listening and accepting my deal. I trust there won't be any more problems between you and Robbie?"

Shaking his head the blond touches his bedpost thoughtfully; he could never imagine being bound to something, half dead, while being raped by some insane woman. Rocky just became one of the bravest men he knows without even meaning to. He should remember to his friends later to stop fucking with them. Colt on the other hand may not take it so well that their little deal is off. But who cares, that guys been a real ass most of the time anyway, he owes him nothing.

"By the way, you might wanna have a talk with the horsey."

"Colt? What about him?"

"Let's just say I was on his payroll most of the time."

Rocky felt numb. "Colt was behind this sudden onslaught?"

"I'm not saying anything directly but, yeah, and he loved every second you spent feeling guilty; that was the main topic of our get togethers, how funny it was watching you and Robbie suffer."

"I'll do that, and thank you for telling me." Walking to the door he turns the knob.

_'I still think its pretty gross that you're a faggot.'_ Thought Darren unknowing that he was heard.

Rocky felt disappointed by that unsaid comment, but what could he do? He's no gay rights activist he's only in love with one person not all of them, he'd be the first to stand up for them but he just can't see the label there in his heart, so he let the comment go. Closing the door behind him, he pulls out his phone. "Colt. I wanna have a nice little chat with you about your friendship with Darren, try to be home when I get there." Hanging up he knew his brother would flee, Colt's not stupid when it comes to his brother's tones so he should know that that one meant business.

.................

Colt swings his hand lightly causing Maggie's to swing as well. The two of them are out for a walk around the area. They had lunch at Subway and grabbed a gumball from one of the machines outside of the supermarket they had passed by on their way to the park.

"How's about a kiss handsome?" Maggie asks with a playful laugh.

Snickering, Colt comments. "Isn't it the guys job to ask for kisses?"

"Yeah, but you're so slow" She pinches his dimpled cheek. "about it, I figured I'd take the initiative."

Slowing to a stop, he turns to face the girl holding a hand to the back of her head he pulls her face to him giving her a nice kiss, so nice infact, Maggie couldn't help her grin from coming out over it.

"Mmm, I should have taken the cherry gum from you, I got white- I mean, who knows what that's all about because it ain't pineapple."

Colt shoves the girls shoulder; feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket he pulls it out. Lifting it to his ear he listens to the message before putting the phone away. Taking his girlfriend's hand he lets out a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" Asks Maggie.

"I guess Rocky found Robbie, he's pissed as usual." Colt says casually.

"What do you mean 'found'," Maggie asks smirking, she knows that Colt was planning some big thing to break the two of them up. "what did you do? Hang him from the flagpole on a wedgie?"

Colt laughed at that giving the girl a light shove. "We're not kids anymore, Mags, its something way better than that."

"Like what?"

"Well, it had to be something serious, something that would ensure their breakup and what better than to hit a soar spot."

"Stop stalling and tell me!" She stops walking to give her boyfriend a shake by his shoulders.

"I had Darren and his friends give Robbie a little scare by..." He trails off waiting for her to beg to know but seeing as she only raised her eyebrows he took that. "I had him raped."

Happy expression sagged she bites. "What?"

"I had them rape him- it was just to scare him."

"Motha fucker!" Pulling her hand back she slaps the male across the face wishing she had punched him shortly after. "How can you be so fucking childish?! Pulling pranks fine, beat him up, that's what boys do! But this, is beyond fucking sick!" This time she does punch him and with a satisfied toss of her hair she expects the male to apologize to her and Robbie and his brother but it wasn't the scenario that played out.

Hand to his reddening cheek Colt laughs. "Are you serious?" He asks through his laughter. "Are you really mad?" He tilts his head back laughing harder. "Your anger is nothing compared to mine! For months I miss my abducted brother just to have him come home and act this way! I'm the one who's angry!"

Backing away the girl truly can't believe her ears. "You're sick.... you're sick, you're not even human anymore!" She shouts at him. "You've become some fucking parasite latching onto hatred that you're not even sure why its there? Feeling betrayed doesn't do this to a person, feeling saddened for someone you love only brings sadness and guilt.... no, your problem is that you're jealous of your brother- hell maybe you're jealous of Robbie- ah!" She holds her cheek.

"I'm sorry that I hit you but you're speaking nonsense right now and I can't let you say something like that to me. Why would I be jealous of Robbie?!"

"Because he's stolen your brother from you.... you couldn't save him in a way Robbie did and now you're feeling useless and that he's so grateful to the male and even loves him only adds to the pain." Pained cheek forgotten, she lowers her hand balling it up. "You wanna know what I love most of all about being with you? That we take walks, that we listen to music together and rent movies once a month to ignore while we make-out, I love that your voice gets a little bit softer when you talk to me and how after sex we just hold each other and talk about ourselves; you told me one night how you never felt close enough to Rocky and now this near stranger comes along and he treats him better than you- even loves him, when he has all the world and right reasons to hate him and where does that leave you? In the same place you've always been... number two. Two to your younger brother, two to your parents, two to Robbie and number two to life...." Grabbing a hold of the male by his jaws she says calmly. "Maybe if you'd stop acting like a damn child you can be a one to him... he'll respect your maturity- if it isn't to late to regain his respect for you because after something like that.... hell, I won't even talk to you." Releasing him she storms away not even looking back.

"So how the fuck do I get over it!?" Colt shouts after her. "You have to tell me!" Sniffling, he sags to the ground. "I... don't know how on my own."

* * *

Rocky didn't go home to see his brother, glad that he got the voicemail he was able to calm himself down and think of how to approach his brother about this whole thing. He knows Colt is a hothead and when speaking to the type its hard to tell what might set them off sometimes so he had to make sure he's in a calm place before going in. He loves his brother and can't stand when they're fighting, which isn't often, but the few times that they do its a world war insults, fists flying, ruined objects, stolen loves.... but no, this has to stop not for his sake he could fight with Colt forever- he never means it, and knows when enough is enough, but for Robbie's sake.

Shoving the door open, a bag making ruckus in his hand, he presses his butt against it to close it.

Robbie jumped out of what seemed like a brief rest due to fatigue only to smile away the start seeing who was there. "Hey, I wondered where you went." Smelling the food he reaches out for the bag. "Mmm, China Panda?"

"Is there any other place?" Leaving the food on the bed, he goes to the microwave to grab a plastic fork for Robbie, he's going to use the chopsticks in the bag, though, he brought an extra pair incase Robbie can use them. "How do you feel? Do need an asprin or anything?"

Looking as though he were truly offended the injured male says. "What are you saying, that being ugly is painful?"

"No, I was just-..."

Robbie waves it off. "I know, but only my eye hurts a bit but not much to bother me." He reaches for his lover giving him a kiss when he's joined on the beds. "Ow. Now it only hurts when I do this..." He kisses Rocky again.

"Owww.."

Rolling his eyes he smiles and says. "Then don't do that."

"Aaaw but its soo good Rocky."

"I know it is." He comments absently while removing a box of lomein from the bag. "Can you use chopsticks?"

"Yeah, but I make a terrible mess."

"Fork it is." He hands it over. "I got rice and egg rolls too."

"Damn, I like egg fuyung. But, I'll just have to make due." Taking a bite he winces. "Ow." Rubbing his cheek gently, he takes another bite. "Man, still hurts. I guess it was that foot in the mouth."

"Robbie!" Rocky snaps. Closing his eyes so he doesn't have to look at the male he continues speaking. "I'm trying to friendly about this, like you are, but if you're in pain will you please not voice it? I can only take so much of hearing about it before I just forget about being polite and go to shove my foot through someone's teeth."

Robbie looks at his lover with sad eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make light of it, I just thought it made it easier."

"Well it doesn't- not even joking.... so just... stop it, okay? This is me here, not some creep beyond our dorm that you have to impress." Looking at him now he says. "If you're hurt than please be real about it and stop joking."

".....its not that simple sometimes.. I feel like if I don't make light of things than I'm gonna start thinking too hard and... I don't know, that's when we'll break up."

"Why would we-..?"

"Because of all this, from being with you.... I'd be terrified of you." Feeling tears he shakes them off. "It was never this bad when we weren't together; before moving here I'd have girlfriends, and quietly have boyfriends, nobody would notice me or care... but moving here you and your brothers are like icons and fucking with that seems to effect just about everybody to the point where things like this" He points to his face. "become ok in everyone's eyes. No one tilts their head to say "sorry man" no one puts a hand on your shoulder to ask if you're alright.... you're just looked upon as though you've gotten what you deserve for touching what should not be touched."

Rocky let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you didn't ask for it... it was given to you because you're a great person and should be loved and cared for- but damn it, I wish that people would stop forgetting that you're normal just like the rest of us, you can be hated too."

Robbie nods but then shakes his head. "I hate what's printed to you, but I don't hate you because you're nothing like the people that acknowledge that they're loved completely. People like Colt- no offense."

"Its alright. I found out today just how true that statement is."

"What do you mean?"

"My brother was the one that put Darren and his friends up to the-... well, he's responsible for just about everything Darren has been doing to you."

"Colt? ...Why?"

"I don't know why. I honestly don't, but I'm gonna see to it that he knows that he fucked up and with what happened that's the last time." He looks despared a moment at the thought of disowning his brother but its something that has to be done if Colt plans to continue on this way. Its not healthy for them to hate each other this much, or be at each others throats over something like relationships with other people. Tum was right when he said they need to step it back a second but this is getting out of hand. It just about turned Rocky's stomach when he realized that Colt was the one that wanted to take a night walk with the two of them, though, they weren't really speaking which is why Tum had to ask him instead of his brother who lives in the same building as he does.

"What about Darren?"

"I asked him to give us six months to be together and after that his aim had better be directed towards me or else."

"I see..." He has his doubts and how can he not, he can still feel this one kid ramming into saying the most sickening thing during it; that he would fuck him until he loved him, I mean, what the hell is that all about?

"You know what's funny, I think I got to the human side of Darren and not the bully. I really think that he'll leave us alone from now on, and his friends granted they listen to him. You know how cliques get when you think you're leader has fallen they over throw and do their own thing."

"And then?"

"I'll try to be kind, I'll be rational, but if it doesn't work I'm gonna have to do some injuring."

Robbie shrugs. "I guess you will."

"Let's not talk about this anymore, we've got food and I'm starving."

"Good idea." He takes an egg roll from the little red and white bag popping the tip into his mouth. "Mmm this place is the best!" He declares to the food gods.

"Hahaha." Taking a mouthful of lomein he nods. "That is good." He opens his mouth to the offer of egg roll taking a bite.

Robbie takes the chopsdtick of lomein offered to him. "Mm, hey let's mute the tv and make up the lines."

"Okay, but turn on something good, I don't want it to be like that last time when we were watching Seinfeld and we remembered all the lines anyway- its not adlibing if you're just saying what they would normally say."

"I know I know, lets see what's on.... Cosby show? No.... King of Queens? Since when did that come on this time ummm, of sweet a movie." Leaving it on the channel he mutes the tv. "Oh here, we go, here we go, you're back?" Robbie says in a female voice getting into it.

"Of course I came back I forgot my stuff, but after this you'll never see me again."

The man in the film kisses the woman grabbing a cup of coffee.

"On second thought," Rocky says. "maybe I will stay, just to bug ya."

Robbie snickers. "Bug me, or make sure I'm not spending your money on shoes again?"

The woman sips her coffee then lets out a sigh.

"Man this is too hot, I burned my tongue."

"What again? That's the tenth time this week."

"I know I know but..." The woman starts to cry. "I'm sorry, I've been having these crying spells since Lester died."

"Our handyman? I know, everytime I look at that crack in the ceiling I think about him." Rocky in his natural voice says. "What the hell is this movie about?"

"I have no idea."

..................

"Mom..." Colt says walking into the kitchen.

"Yes sweety, what is it?"

"I have something to tell you, I think you should sit down first."


	23. Coming Undone

A.N.: Thank you for reading and leaving me a review you rock. Oooh girl you've been reading this since S.V thank you I'm glad you're still interested I don't wanna feel like I'm wearing the plot but this is the last one so, I hope everyone likes it and yup its rounding down to the end I have two more chapters to go or three.

Warnings: Sex in this scene which means you've been warned, if you'd like not to read it skip to December 25th its over then.

.................

Robbie shot up in bed, eyes wide, breaths coming out in hard pants. The room is dark, shadows casting from everything due to the moonlight coming in from the window. The air is calm and still, though, outside the wind can be heard blowing against the window, whining in huffs when it slams into itself. The Ballerini male places a comforting hand to the side of his head to steady his frazzled nerves.

_'It was just a dream, its all over now.'_ He lays back down in the warmth he left on the bed, though, you couldn't tell it came from him since his skin is freezing along with his very core.

Wrapping an arm around the male, Rocky sighs sadly. "A nightmare?"

"Mhm. But I feel better now that I know it was only that." Replies his lover.

Rocky blinks, unseen due to the darkness around them, he has a hard time believing that Robbie is fine. Pushing the issue so that the, often joking about life's obstacles, boyfriend of his doesn't have to sit with the nightmare alone. "Its scary isn't it... being raped? You think it shouldn't be happening to you and yet it is, and even when your mind is over it, your spirit isn't and you end up having dreams and recalling things from it." Resting his lovers head onto his chest he adds. "Robbie, you can talk to me about it."

Smiling the male says evenly. "Nothing to tell, its just your typical sexual violation- same old song, different singer." He shrugs. "I wanna be down about it, but honestly, I'd just rather not give it power to become stronger so unless it shows itself when I have no say over it, I just want it to be gone."

Smiling, Rocky hugs the male closer to him. "I should really take a page from your book; I'm no victim but you wouldn't think so with the way I allow myself to be haunted by my past and problems."

"Mm. Don't worry about being like me, I want you the way you are- you're better than the soaps." He snickers when feeling a pop to his shoulder blade. "I'm teasing. I think I'd be horribly flattered to have you take after me even in the smallest ways. I take a lot from you."

"Like what?" Rocky didn't believe that one bit, he sees nothing of himself casting off to Robbie what-so-ever.

"Isn't it obvious? I wash."

Rocky chuckles rolling over so that Robbie is beneath him. "You're so disgusting." He nuzzles his nose to his lovers. "You're lucky a guy like me gives you even half of his day." He jokes.

"I'll say." He laughs pulling the male down to him from the back of his head for a kiss. "How's about a little hanky panky since we're both awake?"

Brows raised Rocky gets off the male. "Man, I'm beat." He stretches letting out a fake yawn before lowering himself back onto his side of the bed. "Good night."

Rolling on top of the blond, Robbie shakes his head. "Ohhh no ya don't- strip Douglas, I wanna see those dark blue boxers down at your ankles pronto."

Laughing, Rocky shoves the male away not caring that the hopped up brunet didn't actually move. "Its always gotta be about getting naked with you."

"Well not always, sometimes I wanna do it over the clothes." He lowers himself beneath the blanket, shoving Rocky's shirt up over his stomach to the male's neck.

Placing kisses tenderly down the male's torso he's happy to hear a heated sigh and feel the slightest flex from the blond's stomach muscles. Going into a brief make-out session with his lovers navel; Robbie pulls away the dark blue boxers, as low as his reach could pull them away and his hands replace the soft fabric with rough handed caresses up and down the now bare thighs. Rocky's uneven breathing edged him on. Robbie's kisses trail lower along Rocky's hip and leg joint. He want to do this to Rocky so badly, but he knows how the male feels about it; maybe there's a way to dull it down for him, nullify the bad attached to it that his aunt put there. On hands and knees he removes a condom from between the mattress. Rocky's gaze is on him as he moves about. Robbie tears open the wrapper pulling the white protection free, placing it over Rocky's erection he then rolls it up so that only the top is covered while the rest lay exposed to the warm room.

"....What are you doing?" Rocky asks feeling suddenly very exposed, though, you can only really make out his skin tone in the darkness.

"Nothing bad, I promise." Rubbing a hand tenderly over his lovers stomach he adds. "Just let me do this."

Rocky, though, with reservation nods.

Lowering himself back under the blanket he opens his mouth taking in the length of his lover. Rocky's breath caught as his back arches from the bed, his body shuddering as he felt himself encased in the heat beyond Robbie's mouth.

* * *

There was just no way it was true. Jessica Douglas is going to scream, maybe cry, maybe she'll do a combination of the two. Colt came home and unlike other days there was no hello, no kiss on the cheek that he willingly gave unlike when he was a teenager and thought it was embarrassing to kiss your parents, just a very stressed and tired looking child that he hasn't been since he broke a vase at 8 years old and spent the entire day trying to fix it with glue only to end up hiding under the covers by the time she'd gotten home from work. Jessica expected him to say that something bad has happened, a fall, a break up, flunked a class, anything but she never thought.... that he would tell her what he's told her. That her oldest son, Rocky- Samuel, her big strong man is.....

_'How do I tell Sam? Should I tell him? There's no fixing this problem alone, maybe there is.'_ She looks at the bed where her husband would be sleeping it work wasn't keeping him this night. _'Colt wouldn't lie about something like this. He has no reason to; I kind of sensed my boys were having a bit of a tiff but that's normal of siblings, before Sabrina lost her mind she and I used to argue all the time. Make fun of the other or break the other persons things, but we would get along again in a day or so. This is far beyond children battling, this is far beyond all of that. Rocky is gay, gay with that- that damned boy from school.'_

Colt's words were exact. "Mom, Rocky has been seeing Robbie- they're a couple..."

_'Its all the fault of that woman, if she hadn't done the things to him that she's done he never would have ended up like this. He'd be normal, not... not some poor broken child that feels his no longer a man because a woman has raped him.'_ Dabbing the tissue against her nose, she sniffles. _'I can fix this, I can't just cry as though I've given up on him. I can fix this and I will.'_

* * *

Rocky had no idea that a blowjob could be so... good! Mind-blowing, even! Though, to be fair, he didn't know that sex with a male penatrating him could be good either. He lets out a low moan rocking his hips up into the inviting hole. How in the world could something made to be so terrifying by one person be so soothing from another? He imagines that if someone else had touched him in any way he would put his fist into their stomach but Robbie... he just touches him the way he needs to be, holding him when he doesn't ask to be but he would have liked to ask... Robbie just seems to know. He takes the fear from his life. He is his anchor. His breath jumped in a gasp as he released into the condom secured around the head of his member rather than into Robbie's mouth, which would have disgusted him to be honest. but as he thought earlier, Robbie thinks of everything.

"_Now_ I'm satisfied." Says the Canadian popping up from under the blanket.

"Don't sound so smug, you tricked me."

"Yeah but, you _let_ me trick you."

Rocky shakes his head, though, its true in a way. Cocking his head against the pillow he looks at the male's waist. "What about you?"

Perked to attention the male sits back up after laying down. "You'd give me a bl-.."

Cutting him off Rocky shakes his head. "No. No.. I meant," He made a weird gesture with his hands before scrapping the mime act altogether to reach over on his side of the bed to grab another condom and the small bottle of lubricant. Robbie takes the condom from his lover so he can cover himself as quickly as possible. He really didn't think he'd get anything as far as his own needs went- not that Rocky withholds in any way but he really didn't think this would go any further than his getting to give his boyfriend and suck-off. He then reaches for the bottle only to be paused by the sight of Rocky tilting his head back, bottle to his mouth, taking the lubricant into his mouth. The blond then climbs onto his legs lowering he head down to Robbie's lap. The Canadian swallowed hard watching as the tip of his manhood touches the soft lips of his lover before its encased in a semi-lubed mouth all the way to the base, clamping the walls of his cheeks in as well as his lips around Rocky slowly backs himself away until his mouth is no longer around the brunet. Back of his hand going across his mouth, Rocky grabs the back of the bed to help scoot himself into position before lowering himself down. Robbie could have died due to lack of oxygen if it hadn't been for his lover leaning over to kiss some life and movement back into him.

"Ready?" Rocky asked in a voice Robbie had no idea the male could get. Throaty and rough like he were on the verge of beating someone down and the excitement of it was just eating him. It ate at Robbie too.

And if it weren't for Jessica telling herself that her son has been swayed the wrong way due to the sick woman and that boy taking advantage of him when he was in a weak place, she never would have gotten to sleep, she would have been awake wondering if her son were being used and abused by that very person right now. But thankfully, thoughts of her sensible, sweet, first child filled her mind, over crowding the terrible events going on now.

December 25. Christmas day.

Rocky dressed quickly, chucking something he'd picked out for Robbie to wear at the sleeping male before dashing out of the room into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Rocky loves breakfast at home on Christmas day, but not as much as he loves being around his family. The good feeling of being in a place where everyone loves you, the random singing- whether you know the song or not, the baking and, of course, delivering cookies to people they care about that live in the area. His mother likes it to be given on the day to add a good greeting to their day. Dashing back into the room; mouth full of cinimon flavored foam, Rocky shakes his lovers leg violently with his free hand.

"Shake a leg Ballerini, we gotta go." He says over a mouthful. Leaving the room he darts back into the bathroom to spit and rinse.

Sighing, he takes in a deep breath of morning air. Sitting up, he wonders when he'd had time to fall asleep as events of last night flash through his mind. Smiling he pulls his shirt off then locates the deodorant stick wiping some under his arms before slipping into the shirt Rocky chucked at him. Yawning, Robbie then stands on wabbling legs to change into some clean boxers since his were removed last night and dropped to the floor- not that he wouldn't have changed them either way, but you know how it is. Slipping on his jeans he looks around for something else that he needs remembering that its to brush his teeth he heads into the bathroom to do so.

The two finish the morning routine and head out to the parking lot. Taking Rocky's car, he buckles up then starts the car.

"We're gonna have to deliver cookies like happy elves, but you can stay at my house if you don't want to."

"Are you nuts; I've never done weird stuff on Chrismas before, I wouldn't miss this for the world." Answers the male snickering.

"Its not weird to wanna spread good cheer and cookies to people you care about."

"Can I have a tin?"

"I don't see why not."

The car turns heading for the street he lives on. Its always nice to see houses that go all out with decoration and don't just string up a rim of lights on the roof in the front. Every year his mother asks for their help sending them this way and that with lights in hand and ladders under their arm to hang the lights where instructed, next are the blow ups, they have to stand and wait for their mother to find a good place to put them before they start working the extention cords and things around the house. Sam never liked that part much, especially when Jessica put a hole in the screen of the front window just to send a cord through it. Rocky can almost hear his mother now, telling him good morning while she pats him on the cheek then gives him a kiss. She'll be wearing her holiday robe the blue one with the snow covered tree on the back and her pajamas will be the ones his father bought her last year, the ones with the reefs on the cuffs of the ankles and wrist and she'll ask him to help her with breakfast and they'll chat a bit just some nice mother son time. Only this time Robbie will be there, but his mother likes Robbie so it shouldn't make a difference if he's there. He may even get up the courage to tell her about the two of them. It would be wonderful if she understood. Sometimes it feels like he's holding his breath waiting on the world to come to an end when he's with Robbie and honestly it takes some of the joy out of being with him and he hates it. Every moment with the goofy male should be one to cherish and remember until part ways or, who knows, die. They could be that sure fire thing after all.

"Awww." Robbie voice breaks Rocky from his thoughts. "Your house looks good. We have to spend the night so I can see it lit up."

"Yeah." Pulling his car into the drive way, he turns off the engine. "Robbie... how would you feel about maybe going to Japan with me over the summer."

"Are you kidding? That would kick ass, I've never gone any place remotely exciting on vacation and listening to you translate for me will be the end- you sure you're ready for that kind of intimidating assalt?"

"I'll hold up." He smiles knowing that he could never actually fully resist the male, no matter how hard he tried.

Making a curious face, the Canadian asks. "Have we had this conversation before?"

"I have no idea." He makes the same curious face.

"Whoa, deja vu."

"Ahaha." Climbing out of the car he closes the door heading to the house with Robbie not far behind. Opening the front door he holds it open for the male. "After you."

"Why thank you." Walking in with his nose in the air their laughter is silenced almost instantly.

"That's weird. Usually my mom is in the kitchen starting breakfast by now."

"Maybe she had a _latenight_?" He elbows his lover as if to indicate what they've done could have been going on all around.

"Gross, don't say things like that about my parents, think about your own." He walks towards the kitchen."Believe me, one time I _heard_ them," He shudders. "I'm still represing it with food."

Grabbing a pan from beneath the counters' cabinet, Rocky sets it on a stovetop. "Wanna help make breakfast? I'm sure no one but Colt would object and if that's the case he can make his own meal." Turning the stove on, he walks to the refrigerator to grab eggs and bacon, sausage and butter.

"Yup, just tell me what to get my hands on." He looks at the items being spread out.

"Uuum, grab the bisquits from the freezer and some cheese." Rocky instructs reaching into the tiny drawer where the aprons are kept folded on top of each other: Blue ones, green, orange, and pink, they came in a set and Jessica bought two.

"Can I make fried potato's? I can cut them really quick and let me tell you they're prize winning."

"Ahaha, then by all means master chef, go to work." He holds out a green apron to him after tying his own around his waist, slipping his head through the strap at the top.

The two work quietly a moment but Rocky leaves the kitchen turning on the radio to a station that's playing nothing but Christmas songs- which on Christmas day believe me there was more than one to choose from, but he picked a station that was just starting Rudolf the Red Nose Reigndear.

"Shoot, you know what..." Just as he walks back into the kitchen he exits to check the television. The green lights on the VCR which means Tum was way ahead of him with the pre-sets. He would lose it if he missed out on his girlfriend dancing, especially when they had sex she'd think it was a slap in the face that he missed their Christmas special. Rocky enjoyed the show as well, though, it is for children but not really, its for any age that finds jokes, dancing, and interviews fun- whether you can understand Spanish language or not- though Rocky can. Returning to the kitchen he spots Robbie at the table, paring knife in hand, slicing away at potato's. He couldn't help but think that living with Robbie would be nice some day- if they made it.

Dropping butter in the pan, Rocky watches it melting for a moment then he retrieves the flour from the pantry. He's going to make sausage gravy, he's seen his mother doing it many times so he has a pretty good jump on how to make it. He only hoped it would taste alright.

Upstairs the door to the master bedroom opens. Jessica leans outside of it looking down over the banister into the living room. She can hear her son beyond the room in the kitchen talking to that boy. The two of them are laughing and carrying on as if the world is ok with them. Its NOT. Cautiously, she walks down the stairs, through the living room where she turns off the radio before entering the kitchen. Both men pause in their slicing and mixing to see who came to the entrance.

Ressuming his peeling, Robbie says cheerfully. "Good morning Mrs. Douglas, merry Christmas."

Rocky, knowing his mother to be radiant all the time, continues looking at the woman with curious eyes. "....Mom, are you all right? What's wrong?"

Eyes suddenly filling with tears the woman asks in a very small voice. "Rocky."

Upstairs, Tum tum appears from his bedroom, a yawn being covered by his hand, and he starts down the stairs slowing a bit when his second brother opens his door walking out of the room only the male did not come any further than the banister, not even when their father chip and cheerful exits the master bedroom walking passed him saying good morning.

_'Something's wrong.'_ Thinks tum tum not liking the still in the air. This is not the Christmas morning that he's used to.

Seeing the look on the woman's face, the pure hurt in her eyes as she glares at him he sets the pan to an off stove. "...I guess I should skip the first two questions and ask, how much do you know?" Asks Rocky.

"Stop acting so casual!" His mother snaps causing Rocky to start at the sudden raise in father now at the door looking just as confused as Robbie who's sitting at the table. Tum Tum isn't looking in the kitchen but it would seem his gaze is on the stairs instead. The angry woman marches into the kitchen slapping her son across the face as hard as her hand could muster.

"Jessica!?" Sam is flabberghasted by this sudden anger towards their son. What could Rocky have done to make his wife so angry.

Jessica Douglas' gaze never leaves her son's eyes. "I want to know." She demanded in a slow speed. "Is it true?"

Hurt beyond repair right now, Rocky shakes his head. How did she? And who could have-... Colt. Of course. He told. "Yes, its true."

She slaps him again only afterwards she turns to her husband to cry against his chest.

"Jessica, what's the matter? Why are you so upset with Samuel?"

"Because... because..." She continued crying unable to get the words out.

"Dad...." Rocky says cautiously. "I have something to tell you, that you won't like."

Sam couldn't imagine what that could be unless he was flunking out of college or something. The man never would have expected, though, what came from his son's mouth.

"Dad, mom is upset because-..."

He's cut off by said woman who turns around pointing an accussing finger at him. "Shut up! Shut up! I am no longer your mother if you intend to carry on with being.... gay..." She sobbed out the _damned_ word letting her tears fall right into her palm instead of her husband.

"What?" Sam's been angry before, but never this suddenly. And his sudden anger caused sudden action as he bounds over to the frightened Canadian, who lowered his knife to the table when seeing the woman fall apart, and snatches the male up by his collar. "Fucking bastard!" He hollars into Robbie's paled face before landing a punch to the boy's eye.

"Dad!" Rocky darts over to his floor toppled lover to shield him from the next attack which looked to be a kick. Rocky blocked it perfectly, not having to use his ninja instincts at all since it was merely a man kicking someone rather than a trained killer with intent to do real damage to an opponent. "Knock it off!" He barks before his voice turns into a hiss. "Don't touch him again."

Sam was appauled but then he looked a bit relieved. "Oh, well, at least you're the man in the relationship."

"Shut up!" Rocky couldn't believe how pityful his voice sounded saying that to his father. The man who loves him and treated him with nothing but kindness and love his entire life. They're practically twins his father would say to his friends and co-workers when he showed him around the station. "You're wrong about that, _both_ of us are men, there is no woman in this relationship."

"Don't say that," Sam growls. "don't say you're in a relationship with a man its disgraceful and disgusting- and I will not have my son saying things like that in front of his mother."

"Oh but its alright for you to hit a guy in front of her- so long as he's a fairy anything goes right?"

"Do you hear yourself Samuel, you sound stupid defending yourself and this non-existant relationship."

"I don't care! I'll defend it as long as I have to, which seems to be all I've been doing since we got together... guys at school, my own brother, and now I have to defend us to you... my parents who should love me no matter what."

"Nowhere in the 'no matter what' did it ever mention homosexuality. You came to us with your alter, fine, you came to us with this freakish ability, fine, but this..... this is nothing like that- you choose to defy us, you choose to be condemed to Hell, you choose-.."

"I choose to be happy, you selfish bastard!" Rocky bites out through his teeth.

Tum tum walks up the stairs stopping at the end, getting no closer to his second brother but the silent boy makes eye contact with him receiving a disappointed shaking of the head from the younger boy.

"I choose to be with Robbie because he makes me happy." Rocky lowers his tone. "Incase you'd ever stop to pay attention to the part of my life you didn't assign to me, I've been very unhappy.... my life has been flipped upside down since I was seven years old and because of my fears that I'd be a bother to you I kept it all in, blocked it all out so I could achieve that perfection you thought so highly of me having but it was a lie, every smile, every reassuring word that I'm doing great, mom and dad, no need to worry about me..." He stops to swallow, catch his breath a bit. "Its all been a lie... the only time I'm really happy is when I'm doing ninja because it lets me choose who to be, and how well to be at it. I want good things for me too- just like the both of you.... and to me its my family, my friends- the close ones- and Robbie. I deserve to be happy for once, I deserve to be loved without a job to receive it... and Robbie is worth anything I have to endure to be with him, question is, what is my happiness worth to you?"

"You mean a lot to us son, but this is the dumbest thing you've ever done and honestly nothing short of never seeing him again can fix it." Sam says with his tone brewing to harsh underneath the calmly said words.

"Mom?"

The woman only cried into her hand, the other over her heart as though it ached to its core from this disturbing truth.

Stunned to near silence, Rocky says quietly. "What am I worth to you? You who left me to be abducted and you who told me to stop talking nonsense when I thought there was someone in the house... what am I worth to you when I'm being me?"

"This isn't you." Sam ground out.

"I love Robbie, and for him I'm gay... I find nothing interesting in any other man besides friendship but because its a man at all, you won't let me have this. I hate myself every time someone hurt Robbie because of me; how can you all say you love me when my happiness means nothing to you?" Taking Robbie by the hand he walks to the exit. "I continued loving you when you left me alone in that dressing room, I continued loving you when you left me at school... and I'll continue loving you when I realize I'll never see you again."

"Get out! Just get out of my house." Jessica sobs. "If you'd really give up your family just to commit sin then we don't you here anymore."

Rocky parted his mouth to say something but the words did not come out, instead he continued on his way out.

Colt, now finally remembering how to use his legs starts towards the stairs from his look-out post at the railing.

Snatching his brother by the arm, squeezing a little harder than necessary Tum Tum says looking the male dead in the eyes. "I hope that victorious smile you're sporting gives you long lasting pleasure, but it sure as hell wasn't worth making mom cry just to get one over on Rocky." Releasing him the younger male walks into his bedroom shutting the door loudly behind him.

In the car on the streets of L.A. the air is still and the city is near silent as most families are enjoying the holiday with each other, breakfast, presents, conversation, and love. And through this city, Rocky drives in silence with a confused and saddened Robbie at his side. He seems like he wants to say something but the words aren't coming out. Rocky drove here. Rocky drove there. Rocky slowed the car and it seemed as though they were going to park but they instead drove on again until Robbie finally had to ask.

"Where are we going?"

The car stops in a parking lot, its the only car in the lot. Engine off, seatbelt undone, Rocky grips the wheel between both hands and screams. He bangs his forehead onto the center of handle of the wheel as sobs come out right before another round of screaming. Robbie could only sit and watch.


	24. Want what you can't have?

A.N: Robbie is cheerful, but he has his inner jerk that he holds onto for later on. I did take your comment about Colt, this scene didn't go this way at all so thank you so much because I was seconds away from finishing the first half then going into a weeks worth of writers block *frightened shiver*. Tum tum's thoughts will be in the next chapter because I'm still trying to work them out with wording. But thank you guys for the reviews, you're my best verbal readers. hahaha. I take away from a lot of cultures too and my higher power is simply the word of 'if its not bothering me, good for you' if its the type of thing that does bug me I simply ask you not to talk about it around me and we'll always be cool. It may sound selfish or whatever but I would never talk about something that bugs someone else if they were passionate about not wanting to hear about it or talk about so I expect the same respect.

I mentioned the punching bag thing from you 3ninjafan I never noticed it myself and laughed when I did. Thank you for the comment. Enjoy the chapter!!!

.................

February 2nd.

_'Its weird what happened after Rocky's screaming fit on Christmas.'_ Thinks Robbie as he looks over to said male whose head is lowered from having his attention on his study books. Robbie is also studying hard, not knowing what else to do with himself, though, he has to admit that its nice to focus and think about something involving the rest of his life rather than just getting through college and winging it. He's pretty sure he's going to go into accounting for a firm. He likes numbers fairly enough, or maybe a publishing place. Rocky wants to be a writer as well as a detective maybe he'll do both and he can read everything the blond love of his life works on. Yeah, publishing it is. _'Rocky screamed for so long and so loud that his voice actually broke, he sputtered into blood flecked coughs that soon choked into sobs. He asked me, in a voice barely there and shaking, to help him breathe. He was literally sufficating and needed me to give him air to be well enough to ask me 'why is this happening to me?' I didn't know what to tell him, it was only later on that I actually pieced together what his broken voice had said. I don't know why it happened to him but I know it pissed me off to no end. How could his own parents do something like that to him: yell at him, belittle him, make him feel as though he's worthless because he likes me in a relationship way. Its retarded to think that love and care for someone goes out the window just because they disobey you. Not only retarded but scary as well. The rest of the month Rocky said nothing, not to me, not to them, not to anyone. His silence stretched into and through January. The silence was worrying, the silence was sad. But he made a point to show that he wasn't mad at me or anyone. He smiled and nodded to greetings from people, he kissed and cuddled with me but he refused to talk. It was as if he's just shut himself off and his family is in charge of the switch to turn him back on. Tum Tum called a few times, I was shocked that Rocky just looked at his phone to see whom it was before returning to what he was doing, so every time Tum called he sent it to me instead. I asked why and how he even got my number and he told me that he has a lot of people's numbers incase of emergencies. I was flattered to be someone's just-incase call.'_

Rocky cleared his throat.

_'Tum wanted to ask how Rocky was doing and give an update on the family. All I could say was that he was ok, I asked him and he nodded. Tum said that their mother was a wreck and that their father is so furious he's pretty much attacking anyone and anything in site.'_

"Robbie?" He says in a tired unused voice. "I've been thinking."

Robbie looked at his boyfriend as if that were the understatement of the year. "What about?"

"I can't think of any way to get my parents to see that you and I, is between you and I. I can't think of a way to make them take me back without having to break up with you."

Cocking a brow, he sits up. "Sooo, that meeeaans?" He stretched his words as if he were waiting to be cut off so he'd be told wrong about Rocky wanting to break up with him.

"It means that if I'm no longer worth it to them to love regardless my sex life, than they're not worth it to break up with you just to make them happy. I'm sick of making everyone else happy, its time to focus on me now. I'm 21 years old, I should be happy, not miserable and depressed."

"Yea- wait, are you depressed?"

Rocky shakes his head.

"Oh, good. That's some serious stuff."

Smiling, Rocky says good humouredly. "I know, right? What would you even do? You're terrible with serious situations." He laughs.

Robbie laughed as well, it took over him hearing Rocky laugh again. Said male sits himself up into a better position scooting over to the side of the bed where Robbie is seated. Reaching out a hand he holds his lovers chin twisting his head back and forth inspecting his face for something. Blushing Robbie asks.

"What?"

"I don't know, I almost forgot what you looked like when you're not all banged up."

Robbie snickers before leaning forward to steal a kiss from the blond. "Me too. Man, your dad hits really hard, but I took it like a pro- you know I could probably get a job as a punching bag at the gym."

Huffing, Rocky releases the male's face. At least being at school has become more pleasant. His talk with Darren really helped, niether he nor his goon friends have bothered him or Robbie. He had to wonder if Darren would again. Nothing more frightening then knowing your enemies pain. You only ever see yourself until someone puts you in their shoes and shows you another, not so fun, place. Holding out a hand he reaches for Robbie's taking it into his own, his thumb caresses the rough flesh of his lovers hand. He has a few rough patches of his own from handling weapons and such for summers long. He had to wonder how a dainty guy like Robbie could have the hands of a man- unless... releasing his lovers hand he says quietly.

"You're disgusting."

"How?"

"I train as a ninja, fight with weapons and such... and yet you have strong hands from doing.....?"

"I work out! I've told you before!" He says blushing from only guessing at what he's being accused of. "You know those things that you squeeze? I have two of them and I squeeze them to relieve stress." Shoving the male he retorts to the earlier comment with. "Creep."

"Hey, I don't know you're personal time." Rocky defends himself from a tossed pillow, easily swatting it away.

"Well ask me next time." He turns his nose up, pouting sadly. "You're always so quick to hurt my feelings."

"You don't have feelings."

"I do so." He crawls to the top of the bed, shoving Rocky down he rests himself on top of him. "Really, though," He says getting his erious voice. "I have to ask you what you wanna do about us?"

"Why? I already told you that I want us to be together."

"But can you mean that? In the long run, you and I.... who knows if this will last and isn't just some passing great time. Your family is your whole life."

"And now they're nothing, just like I'm nothing to them." After a thought he adds. "minus Tum and Grandpa, although, I haven't talked to him about it, I'm sure mom or dad got their hooks into him."

"Rocky, I've-.." He's cut off by a knock at the door.

"Who's that?" Rocky pushes the male on the shoulder telling him to scoot over. Walking to the door he pulls it open. "Hi. What's up?"

"This is for you." The Deans secretary hands him an envelope. Her face is unreadable.

"Thank you." He says to her retreating form.

Curious, Robbie asks. "What is it?"

"I don't know." Tearing it open he reads it quickly then slowly, then again. "Are you kidding me?"

"What?" Walking over to him he looks over Rocky's shoulder. "Your being kicked out of our room?"

"My parents aren't paying for my room anymore," He shrugs. "I guess its only natural that I'm kicked out of it. I've got ten days before its reassigned." He places the letter back into its envelope.

Drawn back Robbie is expecting another screaming fit. "Are you... ok?"

"......Yeah."

"Good, I mean... is it good?"

"Yeah. I'll just... find someplace else to stay."

"Where?"

Rocky shakes his head. "I don't know."

"Hey, I'll ask my parents to pay double, that way you can-..."

"Are you nuts? I can't ask you to do that and I won't."

"But why not? My parents adore you, Hell they'd let me get throw me out sooner than they'd let you."

"I'm not going to accept it, sorry. But, I can fight my own battles and this is just another one of those. I'll be fine."

Shaking his head, Robbie sighs, defeated. "Fine. But wherever you go, I'm going with you. We'll get a job and live together like an old married couple- we'll drink cold tea and talk about the good old days when bread was a dime or something." He watches miserably as his lover walks to the closet gathering his things. "Break up with me... please?"

"So now you're abandoning me too?"

"No way. I just know when enough is enough and this is enough, so let's give in and just be friends."

"Fuck you." He snubs Robbie's worried face. "I'm gonna start being that guy- you remember, the one that shrugs off other peoples shitty ignorance and stupidity."

Robbie scoffed at that knowing that Rocky only resorted to potty mouth when truly angry or when they're just playing but he can tell this is one of those times when they're not playing. "I should be flattered that breaking up with me pisses you off that much but you're being unreasonable. You're gonna struggle and that's gonna hinder your education, Rocky, you're going places, I'm not. You keep the room under my name. I'll move out, I'll get two jobs and get a place and life will be sweet- no homework."

Giving Robbie a solid hug, he then kisses the male. "You are so not getting out of this relationship that easily. I have to go, alright. Goodbye." He opens the door, closing it after his departure.

Shoulders slumped, Robbie staggers back to the bed dropping down onto it heavily. "Dammit." He says quietly and after a moment the only thing else he could think to say is. "Dammit."

................

Colt is in his single room, head down, books open, studying- or at least, he's trying to. But he can't seem to get past writing out his older brother's name on the paper. He's not sure if he's on the verge of writing his brother a letter or just trying to put order to the thoughts in his head of what to say to him when he sees him. He hasn't seen his older brother since the blowout and Tum Tum is officially not speaking to him. The only people on his side are his parents and well, they're kind of in a bad place right now, so its not as though he could see them to exchange pleasantries since they're so upset.

_'Rocky.... Rocky.... Rocky I....'_ He reads the words over in his head. _'Rocky, I'm sorry.'_

Something that started out so heated and cultivated with its means and point and reasoning seems so weak and flimsy now that its out in the open. Was it really just a game to Colt? Was finally having something to boss his older brother around about really that appealing to Colt that he would make mother cry? Rocky being gay and trying to hide it became his way, his way for him to finally crack the granite that once called itself Samuel, but was defined to more from their grandfather as Rocky. Rocky is actually very appropriate for his brother. He clammed himself inside a rock, he hid his pains and insecurities and from that safety pointed out everyone elses faults and mistakes as though it were a way to gather strength around himself and keep everyone away from the sad and week person inside of himself. But that's rude to think that way. His brother really did have a horrifying and scary life that honestly Colt couldn't deal with if it had been himself. But did Rocky really deal with it? He had Sin to hide behind.

_'Damn. How could I have been so stupid.'_ Colt thinks sincerly in the quiet of the room. _'I.... I wanted to have some way to make Rocky see that he's human just like the rest of the world, that he can hurt and feel pain, that his butting into other peoples lives and relationships is wrong. But maybe I should have just talked to him instead of doing all this. Maggie was right, I've become this monster and I couldn't even see it. Maybe I should have been named 'Monster Destroyer','_ He recalls his younger brothers desired ninja name. _'Colt. Hn. Fast and free, spirit of a young wild horse, huh? What's behind that? I'm loose? Maybe Grandpa knows more about us than we do- well, Tum Tum excluded, he may know him but the name doesn't define my brother completely. That little creep is actually somebody underneath all that 'when's dinner?'.'_ Closing his text book, he sighs. Hazel eyes rest upon a picture of his family. It was from last Spring. Rocky looked happy, he's smiling but in his eyes it seems as though no one is there. He was trying, for all of them, to be back to normal and he seemed to pull it off because Colt didn't notice anything wrong with his brother. But Tum Tum noticed. He kept trying to talk to him about it and he did nothing but brush it off and tell him that as a man Rocky should know what to do and how to handle his sadness and pain. But does he? Rocky's granite to the world, but he can't be granite to himself.

_'And when I found that out I chipped away at it until he broke. Until he felt he could have no happiness. I saw him when he left the house that day, he looked as though he were going to sufficate. His eyes read blank. He couldn't even be angry- which is what I wanted. He was just emptied. I didn't want that, I wanted rage and fights, fire and a challenge just to show that- Hell, I don't know, that I could finally beat him but instead... all I got was loneliness and isolation. I unknowingly gave myself my own fears and now what? How do I make it better? I'm better on the fly of emotions not long winded thinking and considering. I am a Colt. I am fast and free and if I'm not free, I'm brash and lash out until I can be.'_

A knock on the door called him to attention. Standing he walks to the door turning the knob, pulling it open. To say he was shocked would be an understatement. Robbie Balerini age 21, sophmore in college, personal interet hockey, stands before Colt with bitter accussing eyes. Shoving his way into the room he turns to face Colt when he's sure the male can't shove him out without a fight.

Holding up a hand to silence the words he believes will come, Robbie than speaks. "What is it that you wanted from all of this? Hmm? To hurt your brother? Or maybe you think screwing with other people's lives is funny. Rocky was going to tell your parents about us in his own time and you went and made what was going to be heartfelt and sweet, easy and understandable so there's no fear running through those people's minds, sick and twisted with your ugly, sick, words because that's the point you're taught to know- not to lie down with a man as you would with a woman. Nevermind that I make him smile, laugh, and admit his bottled up pain so that he can last through hard days, all you see is the _fucking_, its sex; we filthy animals do it because it calms aggitated nerves and man how good it feels too and that's all it is to nearly all the world. So why when someone says, hey I'm gonna be this way with a man does everyone suddenly grow so moral and conscious of this meaning that you will love only one and sleep with only a woman. They miss the 'A' woman part and allow themselves to believe the plural because one isn't enough. Maybe I could be the one for Rocky, maybe not. But don't sit there and have the world turning their nose up at what we have when we're not sleeping together. It isn't dirty, and it isn't sin. Its love and love should be what matters, not your needs to tell someone what's wrong and whip out the good book of ancient times that who knows, might not even have stood any longer in these modern times. Why is the world so close-minded? Why do you think its okay to hurt your brother in order to please someone that says to love everyone?"

Colt swallowed hard but did and said nothing.

Smiling faintly, Robbie actually looked kind of sick before speaking again and he says very softly. "You're cute Colt. Any girl would wet herself if you looked her way and, you know what, any gay guy would too. ...Do you feel better? Did you want to know that? That you're good looking enough to please the male eye? Because this, what you're doing to your brother honestly seems a lot like jealousy and its pointless because," He approaches the male getting close enough to him so he that he can feel his body heat and possibly brush lips with him if the conversation got a little more verbal. "unless you want a man.... _why do you care_? Only sicko's and psycho's ruin lives for fun- you strike me as neither, so than what is your motive? Have you hated your brother all these years and finally found a way to strike? Or are you just jeaous?"

Colt's blank face then drifted to pissed. How dare this asshole come into his room and talk to him this way. Raising his fist he's again surprised when its grabbed tightly in Robbie's hand right before he's slammed into a wall and pinned there by the male's weight.

"Honestly, you're the worst piece of shit to walk this earth for what you've done. My aunt kidnapped, raped and tormented your brother but she at least was out of her mind, but _you_, you're sick for fun. You get no status from hurting us, no power over hurting your brother who's already so hurt a tiny gust could blow him over, but you wouldn't know because you can't take your head out of your own ass to see that, to talk to him, to ask him about him. Its only you and your fucked up version of a good time." Robbie eases away from the male calming his voice back to its usual pitch. "Your brother just got evicted today. Who knows where the hell he's gonna now, or what he's gonna do all because you decided to have some fun."

That hurt. Visibly he winced. "Wh-... what am I supposed to do?"

"How the fuck should I know! You're in charge of you, not me. And you're not in charge of anyone else, neither am I... so no, I'm not fighting Rocky's battle for him, I'm just asking why? As well as how? How come people like you are allowed to be happy, are allowed to have gifts and opportunity when the rest of us have to get everything taken away because the rest of us dance to a different beat."

Colt lowers his eyes to the floor, annoyance clear on his face, though, he can't really be sure who or what he's annoyed at. Robbie or his accusations.

"I'm waiting for my answer? I'm waiting for you to tell me that you're jealous, sick or psychotic- take your pick...."

"It isn't any of your business what I feel, or why I do things." Colt snarls.

"You made it my business because you chose to do this to me and your brother." Robbie glares at the male, the icy color of his eyes threatening a coldsnap through the room. "So, Colt who runs his mouth as his emotions fly off the handle, you don't get to choose silence. Answer the question."

Colt bit the inside of his cheek thoughftfully. He really doesn't know, he had only just started really thinking about it himself and then Robbie burst in. What is his answer? What can he say?

"You've lost, Colt; your evil is over and there's nothing left for you to do, so what will you do now?" Robbie smirks knowingly, gloatingly. "You've played your ace in the hole and yet Rocky and I are still together. Now that your game is over? What will you do?" Walking to the door he grabs the knob. "You'll find your answer as to what kind of person you are in that question. So think long and hard about it." Walking out he closes the door in a light thump.

Colt sat heavily on his bed with a feeling as though it would have broken, collapsing to the floor had his mental weight been as heavy as his physical weight. He thought about his brother, he thought about his family, he thouht about Robbie and Darren and Maggie. It all hit him, it all rushed to him util it gathered in his chest like it were going to explode leaving a gaping wound in his chest.

"I'm sick." He whispered into the quiet room. "I'm sick." He repeated as if the word had made no sense the first time. And for the first time in a very long time, Colt honestly cried.

* * *

"Rocky? Are you kidding me?" Andre scoops the blond into his arms, patting his back heartily as he hugs him tightly in his arms.

Chuckling, Rocky gives the male a tap on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm breakable you know."

Laughing cheerfully, the bartender lets him go iviting him in gesture into his home while his mouth runs on about what he's been up to since their parting. The door of safety and care closed behind Rocky as he let himself relax.

"You're kidding? You're gay?" Andre wants a confirmation of what the male was telling him. "But I thought that Sin was the one with the...." He made a gesture of something that looked like dusting.

Cocking a brow Rocky smiles. "He was but, Sin is a part of me... I actually think that I'm mostly him and he's the one that won in the end but... I'm not really gay persay. I'm more just exlusively in love with a guy but no others."

Andre nods as he really understands. "Did you tell your parents?"

"More like they were told and now everything has blown up around me and... I don't know, they hate me. They kicked me out of my home and now I've been asked to leave the dorm at school... that's why I came here. I wanna know if you'll help me out for a little bit."

"You wanna stay here, with me and the woman and my kid?"

"I won't be a trouble; I'll sleep on the couch and cook and clean. I'm a very good house guest."

"I don't doubt you but... Rocky, I can't and it kills me because you're a friend of mine and I wanna help you the best I can."

"Thanks for that."

"How 'bout I get you a room over the bar? We can have it cleaned and get a key just for you so you don't have to worry about it being used."

Rocky seemed beyond grossed at that idea, knowing what went on in there with men and himself alike. "Not a good idea." Sighing he says. "I'll just get a hotel until I can get enough for a cheap apartment."

Emotionally punched, he touches the male's shoulder. "If you'd like I can get you a job as a bartender at the club. They love me there, they'll take my recommendation for you."

The idea of working at Sin's hangout was wrong in so many ways, but it wasn't sleeping there and he could still go to school in the morning. He was out of options for this short notice so he had no choice. "Thank you. I'll come by with the address of the place I'm staying when I find one. Let me know what your boss says?"

"Okay."

"Let me see your phone." He takes it punching his number in. "Call me anytime, even if its to just say hello."

"Thanks. I will."

Standing, he holds out his hand shaking the hispanics. "See ya around."

"Yeah." Rocky leaves the home wondering what he was thinking to ask the man if he could stay with him. Its just that Andre was so nice to him when he told him everything about his alter and... it was useless. Rocky rubbed his arms feeling a horrible thing creeping up around him. He has to get away from it lest he be consumed. He'll fight this, like he fights everything, and he'll win.


	25. Thank You part one

A.N.: Thank you all for reading this and to 3ninjasfan and Hayashi, thank you for the reviews. These are the very last chapters maybe there will be an epilog, I don't know but if you ever get the time go to youtube and listen to these two songs after reading this and just think about it hahaha. I think you'll really like it; the songs are "Thank you for hearing me" by Sinead O'Conner, and "Beautiful" by Darren Hayes. Enjoy the chapter.

............

Michael 'Tum Tum' Douglas, sits quietly in his bedroom wishing like hell he had a rope of _Twizzler_ or a pack of _Skittles_ or something sweet to suck down as he sits alone in the darkness thinking about his brother, Rocky. Since that terrible Christmas last year, he hasn't heard a word from his brother, only his brother's boyfriend Robbie, who says that Rocky is doing all right, though, he refuses to speak to anyone- even him! Its weird... weird to actually put the words together and out in the open 'Rocky's boyfriend'. He knows that his older brother never intended for things to turn out like this, everyone, broken and angry because of Colt and his anger. Rocky would have explained it, Rocky would have helped them understand and see his point. But he never got the chance, he only got the ambush. That's what Tum Tum is calling it 'the ambush'. His second brother timed it perfectly and counted down the seconds as Rocky and their mother met up in the kitchen as they did every Christmas morning. The feeling of the room just grew darker and angrier after Rocky had left. Their mother wept and mumbled bitterly with her husband who was slamming things, shouting anything he said, and counting moments where he should have known that something was wrong. Tum Tum found that to be the odd part since Rocky hadn't shown any signs of being a homosexual until now. Maria Balsam kept coming up and soon Jessica began saying things like "she should have been a better mother" and "I should have loved him more".

Colt, on the other hand, was mute through their parents verbal slaughtering of their oldest son- up until their father asked him how long he had known and what all does he know, at which point Colt joined in on the shooting of a blind-folded, deaf man, who- if he could hear them, would know that his place in the family will forever have a burn on it and the cinder just continued growing with every insult. Its been a month, and in that month the house has grown into odd cold silences where it was once filled with happy greetings of good morning or how was your day. Because of that Tum Tum realized something very strong. Rocky was their world. If Colt had messed up, they'd be embarrassed and chalk it up to experimenting and they would tell him that he need to keep it out of the house. And he, Tum Tum, is invisible. Oh sure their parents adore them and love them all the same but their expectations of that love are divided into certain catagories. Colt is the lovable screw up, the one who gives them a chance to prove to their other two children how deep their love can go. Tum Tum is the boy who can raise himself, to show the other two that they have a certain independance while still being very tucked in and loved in open arms. And from that, is Rocky. Rocky is perfect. He's the example to them of what happens out of their love. He's the one that, to the two of them, has been there, has done _all_ that is wrong and independantly made the right choices from their guidance and now lives the examplatory life of the perfection. Perfect can no longer be looked at to make mistakes, perfect can't stray from the crowded guidance of his independance; the shock is too great, the raw disblief is too much to be handled without a toe being eased gently into water first. But it happend, and what's left from that is a cold silence that detaches all parties from normal existance.

Tum Tum has had enough, he had to do something to get their family back together, though, he isn't sure what. Sitting up, he pushes the blanket from himself, getting out of bed. _'I hate thinking on an empty stomach.'_ Wandering downstairs, he heads into the kitchen pulling out a sealed container full of the left over macaroni and cheese from the other day. Venting the lid, he shoves it into microwave turning it on to a setting that will cook it through without needing to go for round two once its been test stirred, he then takes a seat at the island counter and waits for it. Running a hand through his hand he lays his arm across the counter top, resting the side of his head on his arm. _'What can I do? What can I say? ....Should I do something that will make this look small in comparison?'_ He shakes his head a bit. "That's a dumb idea."

"Tum tum?" His mother calls from the living room.

"Its me, Mom. I'm just getting a late night snack."

Late night, its only nine o'clock- that's how dead the house has become. You have dinner then the rest of day seems unreal. He could go out, a few times he has gone out but for some reason when he leaves he feels a wave of nausia rush through him, like something else were going to happen in his absence. He has to watch them. He has to watch all of them. He just doesn't understand how the people he loves and cares about can become so un-recognizeable in such a short amount of time. Maybe the whole Douglas family is guilty of giving unrealistic images to one another and the let down will never be easy. But still....

"Come in here, come sit with me." She asks.

Glancing at the microwave, still whirling his food about, Tum Tum lets out a plantif sigh and stands from the stool he's sitting on to walk into the living room. Jessica is seated on the couch, green bathrobe on over her pink pajamas. She has a book on her lap; Tum Tum recognizes it as the photo album. Taking a seat beside his mother, his cheek is lowered to her shoulder by her hand pressing him down onto to it. The two sit quietly for a moment or three, since the microwave announced that Tum Tum's snack was done after the five minutes he'd put it on, until finally he couldn't take watching the still memories flip past his vision.

"Mom, can I talk to you?"

"Of course Tum Tum, what is it?"

Worrying the finger tips of his left hand with his right, Tum Tum sighs softly. "Its about Rocky and what happened over Christmas."

"I don't want to discuss your brother, Michael."

_'Uh-oh, given names.'_ He lowers his gaze to the book. "At least you're still acknowledging that he's related to us." Flipping the book closed from a picture of him from the fifth grade that is staring up at him, Tum Tum looks up at his mother. "Why can't we talk about Rocky? Are we all just supposed to ignore that blond guy in a lot of the photos and make like the guy that lived here was just some foreign exchange student? Because I won't do it- and if you are telling me to do that than that months worth of sleepless nights is only going to get worse because I'm scared to believe that you can think like that Mom. ....I won't let you do this to him or us."

His mother's eyes filled up with the tears from Christmas to now and they spilled over her was January 6th when her tears stopped flowing for her oldest son and now that they're going again, its unclear as to whether or not they'll ever stop.

"I've been awake and scared every night, that Rocky will never come through that door again but if he does you and dad will throw him out instantly, you won't even give him the curtasy of an arguement because, for you, he's just _over_....I don't want for Rocky to just be over."

Brown eyes show sadness as she looks at her youngest child. "You don't know how your father and I feel, we-..."

Cutting her off he says in a clipped tone. "How you feel? Then tell me how you feel." Sitting up, back more erect, as he has to twist himself a bit to look at her. "Do you feel sick? Do you feel angry? Because so what- I feel _lost_. Like I'm gonna slip away from everyone because I can't take the fear and pressure behind being measured in perfection, knowing what's gonna happen when I screw up."

His mother had been shaking her head as he spoke. "No, no baby, you won't screw up."

"Won't I?" He stands from the couch as if he planned to flee should his mother lunge at him, and yet he felt fearless in his own fear of getting this whole situation off his chest. "Paige and I had sex! We could have just dove into it and I could have gotten her pregnant, but I didn't, I was careful because I _know_ better- not because you taught me."

His mother looked up at him speechless by this discovery. Her youngest boy had sex?

"Just because you instruct someone on how to live a good life doesn't mean that they're going to apply it for that reason. No one wants to be hurt and no one wants to be scared and so we protect ourselves from pain the best we can. ...Rocky would have told you when he thought the time was right, but he couldn't because Colt stole it from him. Mom, I hate this." He felt his strength crumple then and he sank back into the seat allowing his tears to flow rather than wiping them away.

"You love Paige, sweety, and even though this is a serious matter- its not the same thing as with your brother."

"Oh doesn't Rocky love Robbie? I've seen them together, Mom.... I've seen first hand how much Robbie cares for him and it startled me that for the first time I was seeing my brother for who he is inside. I noticed because I see that in me anytime I'm with Paige or I come home from a crappy day and you're here to cheer me up by simply sitting with. I recognize when people are happy mom, and because of Robbie, Rocky is." Touching her shoulder as though he could transfer his feelings into his mother he asks. "So how is it different?"

"We've raised you boys better than this."

"We're good people, mom. You guys did a fantastic job, why can't you see that?"

"No. Samuel is not good, he's not himself... he's confused."

Tum Tum scoffed at that. "Is that what you're telling yourself? Is that really what you want to believe?"

"Michael, please, no more."

"Why? Because its starting to not make sense that you would condem your first born because he's _confused_?"

Wiping her eyes, she shakes her head and sobs out. "Its every parents worst nightmare that their child will grow up wrong."

Wide-eyed, Tum Tum stands from the couch, backing slowly away from it as if a snake were sitting there ready to strike. "...Right, Mom, what was I thinking to question you. I'm sorry." He starts for the kitchen. "You were right to throw out that chain-smoking, crack addicted, womanizing, public masterbating, theif of a son because he had decided to get his life back together and be gay." He holds his hands up defensively. "Sorry I bothered you."

Tum Tum walked to the microwave grabbing his food from it, getting a fork and the salt shaker on his way past the drawer for utensils; th salt being on the counter. Passing through the living room was rough; he wanted to comfort his mother's tears but he couldn't. He stands beside his feelings and what he said. His brother is worth being hated for a while. He's been there for him through a lot of things, and has noticed him when other people seemed to not. He loves Rocky and nothing new about him will change the guy that his brother is.

* * * *

Robbie checked his digital watch for the seventh time since arriving at the library. He figured he'd study through his lovers absence and where better than a public place with dozens of witnesses. After what happened to him, between Darren and the male's friends, Robbie is very skittish about being alone in fear that that horrible night will happen again. Try as he might, he hated every second of it and wished like anything it didn't happen- or even something small like the nightmare's truly going away. _'I should call him.'_

"Hey Ballerini." Says a familiar voice beside Robbie's, backpack, leaning reach.

"This is new. What's up? You hooked on me after only one time or are you here to tap my shoulder for a friend that wants me to know he has a little crush?" He laughs.

Humoring him with a laugh, Darren continues to loom over the male as he speaks. "No, I came to tell you that I'm sorry for what we did, before."

"Ohhh, you're _sorry_. For what, was it now? -stepping on my foot? Cutting me in line at the cafeteria?" He turns in his seat. "Because there's no way you're using _'I'm sorry'_ to apologize for a dog-pile rape."

Figity in his shame; he thought it would be an easy thing. He apologizes, Robbie being Robbie- or what limited knowledge he actually knows about the male, he would accept and leave the matter alone. But this is what he gets, bitterness. "...'Sorry' is all I've got."

"No, its not good enough." He shakes his head. "I mean you obviously don't know what it feels like to be raped. Its not something I'm used to, its not rough fucking sex.... When you rape somebody you have something that you share intimately with someone _defiled_ because some sicko took it from you forcefully.... and now, anytime I close my eyes I feel scared, anytime my boyfriend helps me undress for that romantic act, I want to pull my pants back up." He pauses when seeing Darren visibly wince at those words. "He'll kiss me, and for a brief second I'll have this intense urge to bite his tongue off, and when we hold each other close- I'll move into him and have to remind myself of who I'm with so that I don't end up ramming into him with the intention of hurting him as badly as I was hurt!" Robbie's hand, once flat on the table, scrunches into a fist. "And you think 'I'm sorry' can just make it go away like waving a wand... you're right, though, you are _sorry_ and until I think of a way for you to make up for what you did, a way that you can show me that you're truly hurt and sickened with yourself about what you did- all of you, leave my sight."

Darren stood there a moment, truly embarrassed and at a loss for words. He thought that it was just sex- don't gay people fuck up the butt anyway, shouldn't he have hardly felt it? Unless he's a virgin.... Darren's face changed as he thought about that. He thought about what Rocky had told him; the things that happened to his once rival when he was a child and then only last year was sick and wrong. It hurt Darren to know things like that from such a blunt point of view, Rocky told him that he scraped every day just to get by without having a flashback of what happened to him. If he'd of known any of that beforehand he never would have touched Robbie, not in that way. Darren had to wonder where the hell his common sense went to even think to do that to someone in the first place. If not for Robbie, said Rocky, he would have made them unrecognizable ages ago. Even when they were complete asses to him, the Canadian had protected them simple because he hates violence and they did what they did to him.

Cocking a brow while growing very uncomfortable with Darren's just standing and staring over his head, Robbie asks. "Are you done?"

Blinking, the reforming thug shrugged. "Listen, I'm having a party at a hotel tomorrow night... if you want you can come. It'll be me and some of the guys and some girls- you can bring, Douglas if you want."

Robbie paled at the invite. "I'll think about it." He says quietly.

"Look, its not a trick- would I have told you to bring your bodyguard if it were?"

"Guess not... you should work on your people skills a bit more." He smiles. "I'll go to your party. Thanks for the invite."

"Yeah." He smiles seeing that the battered male had. Maybe his conscious will be cleared after all. "See ya."

Robbie only watched as Darren left the library, his held breath blowing from his mouth. "Scary guy." Retrieving his phone, as he'd originally planned to, he calls Rocky's phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, what happened to you? I've been looking all over the school then I check the lot and your car is gone."

"I'm going somewhere."

"Where are you going?"

"To my grandpa's... I don't know if he got the message or not about me, so I thought it'd be better if I could explain myself to at least one person in my family."

"You couldn't have brought me along?" Robbie gathers his things, fearing the night, regardless Darren's half-baked apology.

"I don't know, my grandpa's a ninja, if he doesn't take it well-..." He trails off.

"Say no more." He swallows hard and the thought of being kicked through the window of the man's home.

"I'll be back tomorrow- ten days, right?"

"Yeah." He heads for the exit. "But where will you go after that? I just wish you would take me up on my offer."

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me. I'm great at thinking on my toes."

"....Alright, but remember, we can still escape from this place and live the life." He smiles hearing his lover's laugh.

"We'll see. Don't forget to lock the door tonight."

"Okay." Snapping his fingers he, adds. "Guess what just happened to me?"

"What?"

"Darren Whittle, your arch enemy and now mine, apologized for raping me."

"You kidding?"

"No. He came right up to me and said he was sorry. I of course gave him a massively hard time about it but, I don't know, I sorta don't have any kind of torture in mind, so I'll let it slide."

"Believe me, I could think of a few things- but I won't, too much time invested in thinking about Darren."

"Yeah, when you could be thinking about me."

"Uh-huh." He says humoring him.

"I love you."

"I love you more." He replies.

"I loved you first," He can almost see Rocky's eyes rolling.

"You'll love me last if you keep that up." He teases.

"Sorry, when it comes to the love competition first come, first place."

"Hahaha, in the words of my Dad, you are so the woman in this relationship."

Pushing the door open, he laughs as he scouts the area. "I'll take that. Have a safe trip, and hope it goes well. Bye."

"Bye." They hang up.

Rocky's car pulls up before his grandfather's cabin. All he has to do now is get out of the car, walk the foot bridge, and go inside and tell him everything. He can remember a conversation similar to the one he's dreading now from before it went well playing what if. What if he liked Robbie, what if he loved and wanted to date him.... 'what if' has always been life's little safe game and escape-goat for any wrong doings you've either done or plan to do. But when the questioned-question plays itself out tunes change. But, he asked Tum tum what he had thought about him being gay- or at least gay for Robbie, and he was on the fence and he turned out to actually not mind it. They even kissed infront of him, much to Paige's squealing delight and he didn't so much as bat a lash or whip out a gross. Grandpa will be the same. He loves him, he always has and always will no matter what. Rocky just realized that he was gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles have whitened then turned pinkish red; releasing the wheel he lets out a sigh then opens the door of his car.

"Get it together, Rock', just be honest and clear about it. He'll understand." On frozen legs he paces over to his grandfather's home. The place where he's spent many summers doing ninja since he could walk and talk. A friendly, inviting place where he can let down his guard and be comfortable. But he thought that very thing about his home and look how Christmas had gone. Hn. He never would have guessed he'd even see another Christmas after spending last years with a mad woman. Boy wasn't that fun; Maria's idea of Christmas presents was a horrible dinner with zombies- for as lively as the other captives had been, sitting around listening to Christmas music and watching one movie- Rudolf the Red-nose Reign Deer, which was more awkward than it needed to be since she mentally spoke through the whole film about what an ass Santa and the other deers were for hating Rudolf for being different. That reminded her that Rocky had a gift and a good life regardless this gift at which point she'd spent the night beating him while he lay cuffed to her bed, and once he'd passed out she took it upon herself to suck him hard then take a ride on his lap. He hates everyday that he allows himself to feel the pain she caused him; he had been strong enough to stop her and yet he did nothing but allow his own body and spirit to be broken like glass returning to the sand it had once been. He could beat her and he can beat this. He won't chicken out.

Knocking on the door, he spots his grandfather in the kitchen pouring a glass of milk. The elderly man smiled when seeing his grandson at the door waving a hand to him. That was his favorite part of the boys being older, they could stop by to see him anytime they liked and its always a nice surprise to come home and find the boys in his home cooking a meal for him, or just hanging out around the house doing nice things for him. He wondered if he could get help moving the furniture about? Pushing the door open he pats his grandson on the shoulder.

"Rocky, its great to see you. What are you doing here?" He hands him the glass of milk going into the kitchen to pour another one for himself.

Rocky, though steered into the livingroom, remained silent and still once he was left to stand. He can fill tears running down his cheeks at the thought of bursting his grandfather's happy bubble.

"How's the family? I'd meant to be their over Christmas but I couldn't get out of bed, this darn hip has been acting up." He takes a seat.

"Grandpa..... I came because I have something to tell you, but you may not like it."

Concern shows on the man's face. "What is it?"

Sitting down, clucthing the glass as though it were a shield that would protect him if need be. "I'm in love with someone Grandpa, but you may not like who it is." He verbally sobbed then, wishing that he wasn't but the tears and choking sounds refuse to stop.

Relieved, the man pats his grandson's knee. "Its Robert, isn't it?"

"Then Mom told you?"

"Your mother hasn't told me anything."

Rocky had to wonder why that was, but then he realized that cut-out means cut-out, no two ways about it.

"I could tell it was love by the way you'd talked about him, you had a light in your eyes that you only see when you're in love with someone- like me with Angelica Huston."

Rocky sniffled through a laugh. He remembers how his grandfather often watched the woman's movies with a certain sparkle in his eyes. But still, it was weird thinking about older people still having feelings like younger people- immature thought or not, it remains true for most people.

"When did you acknowledge it?"

"Over the summer, he snapped me out of worries and self-doubting, my fears... he just laughed and loved me- even when I pushed him away, and called him this and that. I thought that I hated him becuase Marissa was his aunt but it didn't stay that way for long. He helped me clear my mind the old fashioned way." Blushing he said shyly. "Forget I said that."

The man laughed. "Enough said."

"Grandpa, I've been having such a hard time being with him, though. The guys at school beat him up nearly everyday because of me, Colt hates me- really hates me, to the point of us fist fighting in front of everyone on campus and just when I thought I'd shut them all up that bastard Darren Whittle and his friends gang raped Robbie, and on Colt's order!"

Mori Shintaro could not believe his ears. Colt would order for someone to do something like that to his brother, just because he couldn't understand that he's gay. Its.. its just unbelievable! "Are you sure it was him?"

Nodding, Rocky explains about what he'd said to Darren and how the male took it. "Grandpa, he told mom and she went nuts and then dad found out while she had been yelling at me and..... it all happened over Christmas, it was a nightmare. I haven't seen them since, not mom, dad, or Colt. Tum Tum is the only one who talks to me but I just couldn't talk to him, not yet, but.... I had to come and tell you myself before it could get tainted again by someone throwing it around all wrong. I'm not gay, but I love Robbie and it doesn't feel like its changing at all even though I'm losing everything around me."

"Well, rest assure, you're not losing me anytime soon. I'll speak with your mother for a start- your father might be another story, no father wants to hear something like that about their son. Colt, though, I'm just so surprised at him but I'll speak with him as well."

Feeling his breath return to him Rocky smiles. "Would you really?"

"Of course."

Setting down the glass he hugs the man tightly, receiving a hug in return. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I just.... I'm getting so tired and I don't know how much fight I have left in me, grandpa; my granite is crumpling down around me."

"Rocky..." He laughs. "Your granite isn't crumpling, when I named you I told you that you were strong, solid, cool as grainite rock. I meant every word and it still stands before me." He holds the male back to look at him. "You're strong in body and mind, you can overcome anything. Solid when you take bad news and example ways to handle it good or bad you face it instead of running. Cool as granite because pn the outside you're untouchable, hard, but inside you're tender and soft. The battle may get tough, but your rock will never crumble."

Laughing, he sits down beside the man. "I wish I could believe that like you do."

"You do, otherwise you wouldn't be here to tell me yourself."

Wiping his face, Rocky nods. "You know, I always hated crying but lately it seems like that's all I can do."

The elderly man snickers. "I know those days."

Rocky steadies his breath, it happened so quickly, almost eagerly for him that he really was feeling much better. "I have a favor to ask you, though, my room is no longer being paid for at school and I found a job but I need somewhere to stay. I'll pay you rent, and help out- anything you need. It may take a while though."

"I won't hear of it, you'll wear yourself thin with expenses. You're my grandson, you'll stay here as long you need, no charge."

"Thank you, grandpa."

"Anytime. Now, about this Robbie thing, I want a proper introduction- I wanna set the fear of a ninja into him."

Rocky laughed about that. "Robbie won't be easy to intimidate, he laughs about everything." He smiles faintly. "I hate it though, because of that I know he feels the pain the most.... I wanna get into him and stay there, but I only get brief encounters with his pain but I like to think that when I'm there, I'm repairing him the way he repairs me."

"I'll bet you do. If he can put on a brave face as you say he can, then you're all the healing he needs. He can overcome anything- you can overcome anything with healthy, good, love."

Hugging him with one arm around the man's shoulders he says. "And you'll always give that to me grandpa."

"You bet, now, its getting late. You go set up the futon upstairs and get some rest, its a school night."

Rolling his eyes, he smiles as he does as he's told.

"And you'll help me move the couches around tomorrow after you bring your boyfriend over."

"Okay."

"Good night, Rocky."

"Night, grandpa." He disappears around the spiral stairs.

Drinking his glass of milk, Mori puts Rocky's in the refridgerator. He couldn't believe the behavior of his daughter- or Colt. He's seen better from the male than to be aggressively angry towards his brother over something that's really none of his business in the first place. Its time he talked some sense into this family before things get any worse.

* * * *

"Your grandfather wants me over for dinner?" Robbie asks as if hearing the sentence had him wondering if he'd heard Rocky wrong.

"Yeah. He doesn't care that you and I are together; he's happy for us."

"Awesome." He takes another bite of his ham sandwich. The two are sitting in the quad having lunch. "Do I have to behave a certain way?"

"No. Just be yourself." Holding out his sandwich to the brunet, Rocky asks. "Trade one?"

Taking the sandwich, he passes his other half over.

"Do you know where you're gonna stay after ten days?"

"My grampa's. I asked him and he'd like for me to stay- free of charge to my guilt ridden conscious."

"What's to be guilty over, he loves you."

"I know. But hey, I might get a job working at a bar, which means I can keep paying for school."

"That's good. Where's the bar, maybe I can stop in sometime."

"Heat Wave."

Robbie nearly choked on his bite. "That club Sin used to visit? Are you nuts? What if some creep tries something with you?"

Cocking a brow at the show of concern, Rocky gives the male a peck on the forehead. "I'm a ninja, Robbie, no mere man can stop these flying kicks and fist, plus; I'm a telekinetic hazzard, if my ninja won't stop them, that will."

"Cocky bastard." He elbows said bastard on the side. "When do you start work?"

"Whenever Andre calls me back and tells me his boss wants to give me a test run."

"Mm. And whooom is this Andre?"

"Why so nervous about _whom_ this Andre is? He's just a friend of Sin's, he helped him out when he went to the club."

"Oh."

"You remember."

"Barely.... I'm going to a party tonight."

"Really? When?"

"I don't know; Darren invited me after his apology." He brushes crumbs from his hands and fingers. "Do you think I should go?"

"Its not my decision." Rocky replies. "Do you want to go?"

"I don't know, I feel like I do but then.... I'd rather spend the night with you."

He nods through the swallowing of a bite then says when his mouth is empty. "So spend the night with me."

"Won't be much fun since we'll be at your grandfather's."

Rocky snickers as he finishes chewing the last bite of his lunch. "Then go to the party you dork. I won't miss you."

"You'll miss me. You don't have a choice, the Ballerini tattoo is not an easy one to wash off."

"Ha! You always admit that yours can be washed off; the Douglas tattoo stays on tough and no laser can remove its powerful mark."

"Wah, wah, wah." He smiles. "I've got classes, see you tonight my dearest love."

"Mhm. Bye."

Rocky receives a wave in return. He's about to get up when his phone rings, he thinks its Andre until he sees the caller I.D. Smiling he flips the phone open and says. "Hello Arc."

"Do you know its me daddy?"

"Yes, I do. How are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm gonna have a brithday party, remember to come."

Rocky could have been in the world's deepest depression and it would have been destroyed completely due to receiving the invite to his son's birthday party. "I'd love to come, I wouldn't miss it. Do you have anything specific that you'd like as a gift?"

"Uh-uh. I'm gonna be five, I haven't seen much stuff."

Rocky laughed quietly. "I'll think of something really good, something that big old five year olds would love."

"Thank you daddy. Are you sure you can come?"

"Yup. I'll clear my whole schedule for you."

"Daddy? Are you alright, you didn't call me all January... I thought that you might be lost."

Rocky sighed quietly. He hadn't meant to shut off completely it just sort of happened. "I'm sorry, Arc. I kind of was lost for a while, but, no more missed calls to you. I'm feeling much better now, thank you."

"That's good; I'm feeling much better too, I got the sniffles last week."

"Aaaw. I'm glad you're all right now."

"Me too."

"Arc, I have a class right now but I'll call you later on, okay? You can talk to your great grandfather again, I'm staying at his house."

"Yippie!! I got a present from him too on Christmas, I can thank him."

"He'd like that."

"Did you like my present?"

Rocky had forgotten he'd left his house without his presents, he wondered if they had gotten thrown away. His parents wouldn't do that no matter how angry they are at him. Its probably just a matter of going to pick them up. "I loved it, thank you very much."

"You're welcome. Bye bye, be smart in school."

"You too. Bye." He waits for Arc to hang up incase he had something more to say. Closing his phone, he pushes the door open to the hall walking through to his class which is the first room on the left. Going home.... maybe he should call first, see if Tum Tum is there. Or maybe his little brother can just meet him at the park and drop them off. He can only hope that his grandfather can talk some sense into his parents and Colt. He doesn't really like his battles fought for him, but he'll make an acception this time. Speaking of his, former, brother Rocky spots him sitting in his seat in class. he only glances at the male before moving to a seat across the room. Colt noticed his brother's entrance and stands up walking over to where his brother is seated.

"Rocky, I wanna talk to you." He sits down in the empty seat beside the blond.

"About what?" He was never able to fully master ignoring his loved ones, no matter how much he loathes them at the time. If only he could apply his 'shutting off' towards loathing that way no one important gets unintentional silent treatment. He's only ever 'shut off' twice in his entire 21 years of living; when Paula's mind snapped and now that his family has disowned him.

"About this whole thing with Robbie."

"This _thing_ you're refering to is our relationship." He informs his brother.

"Right. I just.... thought that I'd say that I'll stop being an ass, I mean, it was wrong of me to just come down on you without fully understanding you."

Turning his dual gaze on his brother, eyes full of wonder and curiosity. Does Colt really understand him, will he back off and let them be? Apologize even? "You understand?"

"Yeah. You see, I've been thinking about you, and all the girls that you've dated over time and when I thought about that it became obvious why you think you like Robbie."

Raising a brow, he asks. "Why I _think_ I like him?"

"Think about it. Paula, Carmen, Jo- well, you had a thing for Jo but didn't date her, Talisa and Marisol." Seeing that his brother didn't follow, he continues explaining. "They're all exotic- foreign, the only exception being Emily and you kind of dated her because she was the first girl you ever knew."

That had to be the most amusing thing that Rocky has ever heard. If he weren't so incredibly insulted by the accussation he'd of laughed hard enough to pop a lung. "And how does Robbie fit into this equation?"

"He's a guy, the most exotic and foreign thing your unknown fetish has come across, so of course you're infatuated with him- not only that he's technically a foreigner since he's Canadian."

Sighing through his nose he says in a bland tone. "And if I tell you that you may be right will you stop being a jackass?"

Colt's posture sags and his eyes lower to the desk. "About that... it was really shitty of me to just rat you out the way I did, but, I don't know.... something inside of me just wanted to win for a change."

"Win what?"

"At being the favorite, getting mom and dad's love and attention without having to strive for it."

"Colt..."

Cutting him off he goes on to say. "You know, I went from admiring you to outright..." He blushed a bit. "kind of having ill-will towards you."

"Colt, you don't have to compete with me because there is no contest. I'm not the way I am for any reason other than that's me and I can't help it- just like how you can't help the way that you are, if you think mom and dad love you differently for it then that's really something to take out on them, not me. Its unfair in the long run to become underhanded and cruel, trying to hurt someone who's unaware of it. Its sick."

"I know. Robbie told me."

Rocky found that odd, his outgoing lover never mentioned speaking with Colt. "Colt, I love Robbie and not for the reasons you said but because he's a really good person and I like being with him." Spotting the instructor, he turns his attention forward.

"....A...are we all right?"

"If you want to be."

"I do."

"You'll have to accept Robbie, though, because he and I aren't splitting up for any reason but our own."

Colt is silent. "I just... I just don't know if I'm ready for that though."

"Hn. You can have me, but if we're going to be cool then you have to lay off Robbie, I mean it. No insults under the table, no hiring idiots to beat him up nor you, just please stop all of it."

"............I have to think about it."

"Then we have nothing more to say until then."

"Right." Returning to his seat he looks back at his brother unsure of what to do anymore. If Rocky plans to stay gay then he can't want him back. He sure missed him though.


	26. Thank You part two

A.N: I always do this, I say one chapter maybe two and it ends up three. Thank you for reading and reviewing but the next chapter is the end I promise you. I'm sorry its taking a while but I can't stop crying myself.

............

Rocky stayed wrapped in his brother's embrace; hard, hot, tears streaming down his, already, damp face. And as his younger brother, who somehow managed to gain a 6' standing to his 5'8", Rocky just kept wondering how. How Robbie, someone he loves dearly, could something so incredibly stupid and thoughtless to him. How could he leave him. How could he just... go. It was his fault, Rocky thinks, it had to be; there were too many warning signs and he missed them all being blinded by love.

"Its alright, Rocky, everything is gonna be alright." Colt whispers softly.

How can he say that everything is going to be alright when Rocky's whole world came crashing down in a matter of minutes. They were fine this morning.... weren't they?

10:15 a.m.

"Here you go." Tum Tum hands over beautifully wrapped gifts to his older brother.

Taking the gifts he sits them on his lap. He can tell right off the bat which one is his son's. Setting the other gifts on the bench at his side, he tears open the gift, smiling. "Lego city? That's so cute." The picture of the, possible to build, tiny fire station and four building city stares up at him. "I have to bring this with me when I see him in May."

"You're going for a visit?"

Rocky nods. His smile falters as tears come to his eyes; turning his attention to his brother he says softly. "I'm sorry about all this, and ignoring you then."

"Are you kidding? I'd of left the country and you never would have heard from me again."

Snickering Rocky shakes his head. "No you wouldn't."

Laughing as well, Tum nods. "Yes I would. I'd live under the assumed name of Tichael 'Dum Dum' Mouglas."

Rocky laughs a little harder. That's Tum Tum for you, always good at cheering people up. But it also only added to his despair over hurting the boy with his issues leaking into the family life.

"Rocky, I talked to mom and... she's still really bent up about it but I think I might have gotten through to her a little bit."

Rocky only blinks; mouth pulling in thoughtfully.

"What?"

Rocky shrugs. "I don't know; Mom made it quite clear she was over me because of this so... I guess I'm over them."

"Yeah but you can't mean that."

"Why not? They mean it. I've been kicked out of my own dorm room."

"Whaat?" Having heard about this for the first time. Tum Tum is very shocked and disappointed by how incredibly stupid this is making everyone act. All logic has just seemed to go out the door because Rocky just happens to be in love with a man- like they've never done anything wrong in their lives, and his parents lived in the era of hippies and drugs. They have to be guilty of something or another wrong. "Where are you staying? What are you gonna do about school?"

"I'm getting a job at a bar." He puts his gift down then picks up another, opening it. "And I'm staying at Grampa's."

"Really?"

"Mhm. And as far as what I'm doing, I'm gonna spend as many sleepless tumbling nights with my boyfriend before I fully move in with Grampa."

Tum Tum laughed. "Yeah, go against the man. Rocky you're so bold."

"And stupid, don't forget stupid."

"Definitely stupid."

Noticing the language translater that his brother opened he pats it with his hand. "That one is from me and Paige."

"Tell you and Paige, thank you."

"I will."

"....I talked to Colt, he still refuses to understand and so I told him that the door for us to be cool will stay open but I just can't talk to him when all he's gonna do is bad mouth Robbie. He actually thinks I have a thing for exotics!" He throws a hand in the air.

Making a face of question Tum asks. "What the hell does that mean?"

"That I like foreign things and my relationship with Robbie is as far out as it goes for the exotic fetish."

Tum Tum shakes his head. "Colt's just looking for an understanding to why you've changed and gave no real warning to him or anyone else." He then shrugs.

"Yeah, but I would have told everyone at my own pace."

Hands up defensively his little brother says. "Don't need to tell me, its everyone else that feels betrayed, although, you did kinda give me a heads up about how your were feeling back when Sin was around."

"True." He lowers his gaze regretting not having asked his parents or told them rather about his feelings before diving right in, but back then being with Robbie was just ridiculous and controllable wonder, nothing serious. And now look at him, very much serious.

"Hey, I know what will take your mind off it."

"What?"

Digging into his pocket he removes a small hand-made doll. "Jenn made it." It has a small wooden head but the body is made of nothing but cloth and cotton, the hands and feet are also wooden. "Make this thing dance."

Cocking a brow Rocky slits his gaze inquiring. "How would that make me feel better?"

"Because its cool. Come on Rock' you never do anything cool with your gift."

"Gift, huh? I think its more of a curse... because of this gift some mad-woman found me and tortured me; if I were just any normal kid I never would have had to go through with any of it."

"I don't see it that way. That sicko seemed like she'd take anyone to please herself but you just happened to be her favorite and just so happened to be a psychic as well."

Rocky huffs out a laugh. It always sounded ridiculous when said out loud. But Tum Tum might be right. "Alright, gimme the doll. Can't believe I'm nothing but a side show to my own brother."

Laughing, Tum Tum gives his brother a shove. "You owe me this."

"I owe you?" Placing the doll onto the ground above their feet, he focuses on the doll; little strain in his dual colored eyes.

The doll lifts up to stand on its feet; its little arms raise up and down as it does the monkey, it even has a nod of its head going. Tum Tum smiled as he watched the doll dance. Rocky was happy simply because Tum was happy and it really wasn't a big deal using his gift- even if he still thinks of it as a curse. Oh why couldn't his parents hate him for something that he couldn't help, he could at least promise to never use his gift but as far as his feelings for Robbie they just can't stay down. He's tried, oh how hard he's tried but the second he sees the adorable bastard his heart soars; the moment the smiling creep laughs or teases him, he's in Heaven itself. Robbie holds him like no other even when He, Rocky, is the one who is holding while being held. The tiny doll began to do the whoosie jacuzzi. He can't figure out what Robbie is hiding though and foolishly he tried to sneak the thought from the netherlands of Robbie's subconscious but the male was no dummy, knocking on his forehead Robbie asked him what he thought he was doing. Rocky had never been so embarrassed and apologized over and over for it, but the problem was solved as soon as it started because Robbie forgave him on request that he give him a real blowjob someday. Rocky blushed just thinking about it; the tiny doll looked as though it had just exploded before it collapsed lifelessly to the ground.

"What happened?"

Rocky blinks as he returns from his thoughts. "Um.. nothing, I was just distracted."

Picking up the doll Tum Tum was a little surprised at how it looked as though the little guy was in dire pain before it fell to the ground. That could be really dangerous if Rocky wasn't careful with it. No wonder he doesn't want to do it so often.

"What were you thinking about?"

That only made Rocky blush more. "Um... nothing, its personal."

Tum knew where this was going. Sex stuff. Even though he's already had sex- twice actually, his brother's still look at him like he's a young child and the response to any question that's answer is sex is always a very deep blush right before 'its personal' comes out. Stuffing the doll back into his pocket, he says. "Sex stuff, got it."

Rocky ruffles his brother's hair before standing from the bench. "I'll open the rest of these later. Thanks for bringing them for me."

"Uh-huh." Standing as well, he checks his watch. "Paige is almost done at dance rehearsals, I'm gonna go pick her up."

"Alright, see ya."

"Bye." The two go their separate ways.

Rocky wanted to go back to the dorms but decided to stop by the club instead. Andre hadn't called him back yet about a meeting being set up but there was a chance that a meeting in person could help boost the managers decision a bit- granted they're hiring. It took Rocky ten minutes to get there from where he was and he parked on the side of the building going in with a slightly sick feeling as spider webs of the past clung to his mind pulling about his thoughts and forcing their image into his mind. Sin had done so much; met so many people; the tattoo that still covers his chest; the obscene things he's had their body doing, but it wasn't his fault he had to admit that. Sin was young and confused about himself because most of what had happened was in his life, his mind. Sexual sabotage is very common in his situation. He just wished that maybe his cocky and kind alter could have just chose Robbie to fool around with, so that he doesn't have the scar of all those weird men tugging at him right now. Knocking on the managers door, he waits for an answer.

When the door opens a man stands before him but he's on his way out it would seem and inside sits a very sweet looking woman. Not what Rocky had been expecting, that was for sure.

"Come in. Nice to see new faces." She greets. "What are you here for?"

"Uuh, I'm Samuel Douglas... one of your bartenders was supposed to talk to you about there being a position open?"

"Andre, right? He called me about you, yes." She shrugs. "I don't really need another bartender, I've got plenty."

"Yeah but... I thought maybe I could sub is anyone is sick or something."

"Its not that big a job, one man can do it if he really applied himself."

"Oh."

The woman smiles at him, her little red lips spread clean across her face. "You're adorable you know that, just like a little kitty cat."

Rocky frowns but mostly because he wondered how that would help him in this situation.

"I may have something for you."

"Anything. What?"

"Desperation will get you everywhere my boy." She runs a hand through her curly light brown hair. "I want you to help with shipments."

"Shipments?"

"Yeah, you seem like you can carry a lot of weight." She pulls out a cigarette from a silver case, lighting it up with a struck match from a tiny book she had on the corner of the desk. "Usually I make the bartenders do it but they gripe, complain- since business is good I'll lend you a hand."

"Thank you! Really, I'll do the best I can."

"In the meantime, you'll clean up the place before it opens. Deal?" She blows out a puff of smoke.

"Yes, deal." He holds out his hand. "Thanks again, you won't be let down."

"I know." The woman holds out a, veiny hand. "My name is Celia Armstrong."

"Samuel Douglas."

She smiles. "I know, you told me that already." Nodding towards the door, she says. "I have no shipments coming in right now, but you can grab a broom from the closet over there," She points and continues to speak when Rocky turns his head to look. "do a good job. You'll get your first check next week."

With a firm nod, Rocky walks to the utility closet to retrieve the cleaning supplies. How bad can this be?

.............

He had no idea just how disgusting men could be. The bathroom was a nightmare. There was just no way it was possible to be this gross. He couldn't even identify some of the things on the floor. White dust is puffed here and there, he noticed, and by the look of it it could only be drugs. That wasn't bad though a quick sweep and it was out of the way. Cleaning the toilets made him nearly gag and after an hour and a half he was out of there, thankfully, with a job well done. Next he swept the club itself of bottles and cigarettes and things. Easy. He wondered about the bedrooms, though, and returning downstairs he knocks on the woman's door to ask but she wasn't inside.

Taking his phone from his pocket, he dials Andre's number. "Hey, thanks a lot for not telling me about the bar position." He didn't mean to jump on him right off, but he had to.

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I knew how badly you needed a job and I didn't wanna deliver bad news so I thought I'd look around until I could get another place and you're in luck because I have. How much do you love me?"

"Plenty, but I already have a job."

Silent and shocked, he asks. "Really, where? When did this happen? You know, you really should have told me."

"I know. But it was sudden, I'm working at Heat Wave, but instead of bartender I clean and help bring in shipments."

"You aren't? Man, that job sounds suckish."

"Hey, its money. What about you? Where's that other place you got."

"Supermarket. I know a bagger who can get you a job stocking shelves."

"That beats cleaning toilets anyday, but, I can't. I'd rather not be seen if you know what I mean."

"Huh? Not really, why not?"

"My parents for one, too awkward and the hours might be gruelling when put with my school schedule."

Andre intones for a reason Rocky is unsure of. "I think I understand, but hey, we get to work together! Are you feeling the love?"

"Ahaha, I'm feeling it." Spotting Celia walk back in, he says quickly. "I gotta go, thanks for caring. Bye."

"Bye." He hangs up.

"Miss Armstrong," He calls to the woman.

.................

By the time Rocky got to the dorm he was beat. He'd forgotten all about going to his grandfather's with Robbie for dinner, until he saw said guest dressing. "Shoot."

"Aah!" Robbie jumped out of his skin.

Laughing Rocky sits up. "Why are you so jumpy?"

"Why are you always acting like a cat, all stealth-like and unnoticable until you say something. Its very rude."

Rocky only laughed and lamely says. "Sorry." Taking in his lovers appearance he tilts his head. "Hm... You look good. But a tie?"

"Well I don't know! This is important and I don't wanna screw it up."

Rocky's happy mood changed instantly as he recognized something was wrong. "Robbie... what is it? It can't really be about going to my grandfather's thats got you bugged. So what is it?"

"It.... it is going to your grandfather's. He loves you and he wants to meet me and see that I'm right for you and... shit, I usually suck when people read me. What if he says "you must go now" I don't know how to handle that. He's all you've got as far as family goes right now and I don't wanna put you through anymore."

Smiling Rocky grabs the male by the back of his neck. "Trust me, my grandfather will like you and not just because he's kind and likes everybody. You've got a great aura; how I'm the only one who sees that is beyond me."

Robbie shrugs. "Should I lose the tie?"

At first he was going to say, yes, but looking at those puppy dog eyes he couldn't bring himself to. "No. The tie looks great, plus we could maybe have some fun with it later."

That perked the male up. "Then let's get going before my nerves get the better of me again."

"Right."

The two drive with nothing said between them, not even the radio was on to give some sound to the silence. Then out of nowhere, as it usually is, a grin breaks out over Robbie's face.

"Pull over, let's do it." He mimes that he's undoing his pants because he's in that much of a hurry.

Rolling his eyes, Rocky says. "What is it this time?" Robbie got hot for him over the weirdest reasons. He once said 'hmm' while doing an assignment and they ended up in the entry way of the closet. Then there was that other time when they were eating at The Cafeteria- the small inexpensive restaurant beside the college, he set his fork onto his napkin and that warrented a roll around- which the male did not get, but that the anticipation was there over something so simple Rocky began to wonder if maybe Robbie was just sexually broken and using any excuse he could to cover it up.

"I just noticed," He reaches over grabbing a very hard handful of Rocky's hair. "You're growing your hair back out."

Blushing Rocky says as off-hand as he could muster. "You said that you liked it long and you've been really good to me so I thought I should at least give in to one of your many innate request."

"Innate? How dare you." He continues to brush his fingers through the male's hair until he's satisfied. "I'll have you know that I'm not a sexual person, you're just so damned cute- everything you do, thanks for ruining my life." He tries to hide a smirk while looking out the window in a huff.

Rocky shakes his head knowing the male is only pretending to be upset and sure enough not long after he again says.

"Pull over!"

"Robbie its not gonna happen!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter orphan;" Pointing out the window he says. "I wanna get donuts. Come on."

"Fine."

Rocky pulled over and they were back on the road a moment later with hot donuts. Grandpa was more than happy to see the treat brought for him, and he spared no expense in giving Robbie the third degree but his boyfriend stood up to every question or challange. It was actually really cute watching the two of them interact, he hasn't seen his father this animated since his finding out that he has a grandson. By the time his grandfather said arm wrestle Rocky called the two to a stop.

"You should work on your weight," He says to Robbie while giving the male thirds. "if I wanted to toss you, I'd of thrown you clear through the wall."

"Yes, Mr. Shintaro but don't you think you could chuck me through a wall regardless?" He says meaning the mans natural size.

Mori laughed. "None of this Mr. Shintaro, call me Mori."

"You got it." Robbie smiles at the man then says. "Thanks for dinner, by the way."

"Its not a problem, thank you for putting a smile on my grandson's face." Replies the elderly man before his attention shifts over to the clock for the sixth time that night.

"What? Are you expecting someone?" Rocky asks half thinking that his grandfather foolishly called his parents to set up a situation.

"I hope you boys don't get offended but, I wanted to see a movie tonight with a friend of mine."

"Oooh, ditching us, huh? This friend must be a lady friend, then." Says Robbie wriggling his dark brows.

Mori turned beet red before standing. "I'll take a donut with me. Don't let anyone in the house while I'm out."

"Grampa, I'm twenty one."

"Right. Well, I'll always see you as that young boy who could barely get his foot to meet my stomach because his legs weren't long enough."

"Aaaww, little shorty." Robbie says pinching his lovers cheek.

Blushing, Rocky waves his grandfather off. "Didn't you say you had a movie to get to."

Mori snickers as he walks off into his room to change. Robbie couldn't help the tears that formed in his eyes. Rocky noticed the unfallen emotions, reaching out a hand he holds his lovers'.

"He's awesome, Rock' don't ever let him go."

"I don't plan to."

"I'll help clean the dishes, then how 'bout we find something to do while he's out."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two clean up rather quickly and decided not to watch a movie since they'd only have a short time together; Rocky remembered that Robbie was going to a party with Darren and in all honesty it seemed like a good idea for the male to go. He might make friends there. But as for him going he wasn't sure if he wanted to face Darren yet after all he's told the male, it'd still be awkward for him knowing that someone else knows. It was about the forth time Robbie sniffled that Rocky finally asks.

"Are you alright?" He closes the cabinet after drying the last plate. "You've been acting really funny since yesterday."

"I'm fine, I think I might have the sniffles or something." Stuffing his hands into his pockets he asks casually. "Would it be alright if I used the bathroom?"

Blinking Rocky shakes his head. "No, I'd prefer it if you peed yourself." He snickers; walking into the living room he takes a seat. "Its over there, first door."

"Thanks." He dashes off as though he's been holding it since they left the school.

That only made Rocky laugh a little more. "Weirdo." Looking about the room, he gets up to grab a few things to create a mood. If he knows Robbie and he does, he'll wanna make out or something.

In the bathroom, Robbie crouches to the floor and allows himself to cry a bit. He feels so guilty he can hardly keep it together to have enjoyed the nice dinner he had with Rocky and his grandfather.

_'Stop it Robbie, this is stupid... why the hell would you be unhappy now.'_ He coaches himself. _'You're hardly in a place to be upset, you love Rocky don't you? You're not self-serving, you're together for the both of you, now suck it up.'_ Wiping his face with his hands he then splashes some water on his face then dries it. Checking his reflection he nods approval of his appearance before exiting the bathroom. The instant he stepped out he smiles. "Mmm, pie- let's eat." He takes a seat next to Rocky.

Shaking his head, Rocky holds up a candle.

"Mmm a candle, let's make shadow puppets."

"Ahaha. I don't think its dark enough for that."

Noticing the the difference in Rocky's voice Robbie's mouth drops. "Aaaw you've got candy!?"

"Last piece." Rocky says standing from the couch only to be grabbed around his waist and kissed deeply. So deeply infact his candy was removed without his knowing it.

"Bleh!" He says after he steals a few sucks of the last piece of candy. Taking it from his mouth, he holds Rocky's hand placing the candy into it. "What kind of candy is that?"

"Carmelo de leche." Rocky shrugs making a disgusted face at the disgarded candy. Going into the kitchen he drops it into the trash then washes his hand. "Wanna go sit on the roof with me, we can look at the stars?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen the stars in ages what with all the city lights."

"Its this way," He climbs the winding iron stairs to he and his brother's bedroom when they visit over the summer.

Following, he takes in the new bit of the house. "You guys sleep up here?"

"Mhm. I'd usually be in the middle, Colt liked the edge he could peek over the sides and Tum prefered the wall because he was sure he'd fall any place else." Taking a moment to sit in the room he points out the places. "I always liked playing cards up here; we'd sleep on futons and share a blanket." He shrugs.

"Sweet." He looks overhead the over his shoulder.

"Come on, and be careful; I don't want you splattered on the ground from falling off the roof."

"Hey, I'm like a cat." He waves off the warning going out the window after his boyfriend. It wasn't so far down but he still felt a little nervous and quickly climbed up onto the flat of the roof.

The sky was gorgeous; stars littered it, glittering brightly, bits of tree in their view making some of the scenery play peek-a-boo when the wind blows gently by. It was really breath taking.

"Rocky, can I admit something to you."

"Sure."

"I... I feel guilty because I wanted you to... I don't know what I wanted really but, I'm sorry for not telling you."

"What?"

"I knew that, you and I would be together."

"You knew? What do you mean?"

"That we'd be a couple.... that time back when you kept getting bad headaches and I offered a massage; I kissed you because when I touched you I saw you and me together- sexually, together and I couldn't help myself so I kissed you."

Rocky didn't know how to take that really. It was just sort of... weird to mention.

"The funny thing is, I thought it was a crock because I'd never seen the place that we were when we were doing it. But being here, I know now that it was your grandfather's home."

Sitting up he looks down at the male. "Here? That's some gift to see this far."

"I feel like an ass because I feel responsible for all the things you've lost just because I wanted to date you."

"And that's what's been bothering you?"

"Kinda. There is something else...."

"Don't worry about it, really, I'm fine- in fact, I've never been better. ...Don't you believe me?"

Casting his glance towards the male he smiles. "I believe you."

"Good." He smiles. "Jackass, you'd defile me in my second home."

"You were the one who started it."

"I doubt it!" He shoves Robbie on the side. "And what would happen if I decided not to do it with you?"

"Oh we'd do it someplace else, my visions are always like that." Cocking a brow he says teasingly. "Your grandfather does have that hot tub I see." He sits up looking over the roof.

"You're sick." He laughs heartily. "No, we're not getting in the hot tub. If this is unavoidable then we'll go in the bedroom."

"Good, doing it outside would creep me out."

Rocky slips back into the window, going downstairs to retrieve the cots. Robbie takes a seat on the bare floor then calls out. "We'd better stay in the middle, I don't wanna feel like I'm laying on Colt," He shuddered like he'd been touched with a case of the cooties. He grabs the top of the futon, that appeared at the stairs, pulling it up and laying it out.

"Well, strip, let's get this over with."

"Don't make it so romantic." He laughs unbuttoning.

Undoing his jeans he nods. "Its romantic, its always romantic."

And it was... the slower the better they say and Robbie was very maticulous about it all. It was like making up for the swept up rush of it all when they had sex the first time, it was slow to make up for the hurried need of being together they had the second time, it made up for all the playful ways they'd done it when things were just silly and sweet, it made up for dirty- quick needs that tore through them from time to time and it made up for all their pain they had to endure because no one wants to understand them even a little bit and think that hurting is funny. It was hard to breathe in that kind of love but they wanted to be light headed, they want to fly away from it all to a place where only they're allowed to be as no one can ever see you when you're in your intimate place; whether you're having sex, or just sitting on a park bench enjoying a holding of hands no one can be there even if they can see it. And when it was all done they slept soundly.... too soundly for Rocky because a storm had woken him up with a violent bang of thunder. It sounded like something had been hit. Looking around he wondered where Robbie was until he realized that he must have gone to the party.

Checking his watch he sees that its nearly midnight. He thought about going back to sleep, but the sound of his phone ringing called his attention before he could close his eyes again. Fishing around in his jeans' pocket he pulls it out. "Hello?"

"Rocky, its Colt."

"Colt, hey what's up?"

"Rocky... its Robbie...."


	27. Thank You epilog

Rocky heard his brother call his name before the elevator door closed. Its funny, he didn't see him in the waiting room so he must have just showed up. Why would Colt be here? Rocky hurried down the hall to room 306, the nurse told him; after a very quick lie that he is Robbie's fiance as only immediate family can see patients who have been in surgery; the lie, though, it made the nurse blush and become a little flustered it didn't bother Rocky at all, he and Robbie joked about it enough times it comes out as easily as breathing- granted you don't have emotional baggage. Rocky grabbed the door knob giving it a turn; he expected to see his lover laying in bed with a cast on his arm or leg complaining about how he can't hear the television because the remote doesn't work; all the while the bed is moving him up and down in recline. Smiling at the thought Rocky opens the door ready to hear the lame explanation of what happened but his mouth falters and the words in his throat hit a brick wall before even the smallest sound could come out. He wasn't expecting this... he wasn't expecting the Robbie he sees laying in bed before him. Covered from the waist and up in a wrap of crisp white bandages, sullied with dark red blotches of blood. Did someone do this to him- whatever it is that's done its... its so severe, so deep that....

"Robbie." He says but his voice is drowned out by a boom of thunder.

He turned his gaze at the closed window where the storm rages on and as it comes back to his lover, he sees that the bruised brunet is staring at him with his one exposed eye. Shock took over him as he sees in that eye a world that he and Robbie kept under the covers from the rest of the world saving it only for each other. His true pain. Rockys' frozen lungs began to work again, fuelled by the strong emotion of concern for his lover and the need to ease his pain. Faintly, the corners of his mouth tug up into a small smile.

"You're so lame, Robbie, why didn't you stick up for yourself this one time?" He slowly walks over to the bed, taking a seat in the chair left beside the bed as though a ghost had beaten him to his lover's bedside but is now gone having said his peace. "You of course know that I'm gonna have to take revenge on whoever did this."

Rocky's voice was so calm and so low that Robbie couldn't help it, his sobs expelled from his mouth in sad little huffs and gasps; tears roll from his one eye. Rocky tears up as well, but they did not fall; he takes the Canadian's wrapped hand, holding it firmly, though, gently in his own. Rocky could hear Robbie swallow his throat is so dry.

Looking beside the bed, he asks. "Would you like some water?"

Robbie parts his very crinkled lips to say something but nothing comes out. Taking it upon himself, Rocky pours the male a glass of water helping him drink it by bringing the glass up to Robbie's lips. Robbie took the offered drink not realizing just how badly he did need that drink. Trying a verbal breath he sighs then says.

"I can finally understand now.... I can finally understand" His voice breaks and he lets out a hard cough. "what it feels like to be a hero. The lack of knowledge from the person or persons you saved is sad, but, you can't help but feel your heart warm when you look at them- happy and healthy."

Smiling, Rocky nods; he knows what its like to rescue someone, although, he's never rescued anyone unaware of it. "Who did you save?"

Smiling softly, Robbie's one exposed eye looks at his lover and he whispers gently. "You."

Shocked, Rocky shakes his head looking a it disbelieving. "What do you mean? How did you save me?" Taking his lovers hand again, he asks. "What happened to you?"

"What time is it?"

Rocky thought that Robbie was acting very strangely, but he answered him anyway. He may very well be on medication for the pain. "Two forty."

"Fifteen minutes to three.... Hardly fitting for all the things I wanna say." Robbie pats the bed beside him.

More confused by his lover's words Rocky removes his jacket and sneakers leaving one on the chair, the other the floor; he clims into bed with Robbie, gently placing his arm around the male's torso.

"You're gonna be mad at me, but, Sam.... can you hold off on it until after I finish. I want today to be filled with nothing but good love between us. So please, love me."

"No. You don't have to ask for my love, you always have it- no matter what, but, Ivan, you're not making any sense to me. You have to tell me what happened between dinner at my grampa's to now."

Robbie sucks in a shaking breath, letting it out slowly. "The party was fun, believe it or not; Darren was a real great guy when it got down to it. There was dancing and singing along- this one girl asked me out, ha! can you believe that? She said "man, if I could turn you, I must be a real roll in the sack" I never laughed so hard in my life. Am I a roll in the sack?"

Rocky laughs, nodding.

"Sweet."

There is a moment of silence between them.

"There was a-.... a chubby blond kid, I can't recall his name but it might have started with a C."

"Chris?"

"Could be. ....He was the one, he said, "let's light these drinks up like they do in bars" and the others cheered. I didn't drink out of respect for you, so I was having a soda."

Rocky snickers.

"I don't know, the whole thing was so damned juvenile that by the time they got enough hot drinks down their throats they couldn't tell what from what and... I went over to tell them that it was enough already, because someone spilled a drink, and when Chris took a drink without blowing it out. You'd of sworn the kid was a dragon the way he spit that out... fl-..." His voice falters. "Flames blew out so quickly and I was right there and.... woosh!" He raises a hand up as if to show through mime the path the fire had taken.

Rocky's eyes widen as what Robbie's saying hits him.

Swallowing, he goes on. "I was so shocked by the booze being spat in my face I fell back in a panic or maybe I was shoved as he ran by for the sink but, I hit the glasses and things on the table and went up like a fire ball." Tears stream heavily down the male's eye. "Nobody helped me, Sam_, nobody_. I tried that whole, stop-drop-and-roll, thing and it only seemed to make it worse; I honestly don't know what happened after I stopped screaming but I woke up here and here you are."

Rocky felt his eye twitch in anger and pain. How could this happen to Robbie? Burned! This badly at that. And they did nothing to help him?

"It wasn't their fault, they did what anyone would do in a fire- they ran. Chris may be here too, his mouth was lit up pretty bad, he drank it after all." Robbie turns his head a bit; pain showing on his face with every small move he makes. "And that's what happened."

Rocky told himself to remain calm, but inside he was boiling a bit. Why can't Robbie ever just have a nice day. Its always something, if not everything. A simple party and he'd be back at the dorm safe and sound was that so hard to allow to happen in life. "If I'd know this was going to happen I would have asked you to stay at my grampa's with me, instead I pushed you to go."

"I would never have stayed with you- not for a second." Robbie was so serious about that Rocky looked almost offended by the comment. "It was... my choice.... it was my choice to save you, and I did."

"How did you _save me_?"

"Sam, I never told you this because, I- I don't know; when I was younger I just buried it inside of me because I couldn't handle it anymore but, my _gift_ is nothing but trouble. I'll touch someone and see only the misfortunes in their lives- never the good. I used to think that it was because I couldn't fully control or understand my gift that made me see things only sometimes." He watches Rocky sit up straight from the slant he'd been in before. "But its because not everyone will have a misfortune that I sometimes see nothing."

"That's really what you think?" Rocky's tone was low.

"Its what I know." Robbie admits sadly.

"Then you're full of shit!" He barks. "How can you say something like that when you saw the two of us together and being with you has been nothing but great!"

"Hn." He puts a finger up to his charred lips to ask for silence. "You promised me you'd be mad later."

Still fuming, Rocky shakes his head to calm himself down. Resting back beside the male he glares at the clock. "The moment you get out of here, I'm gonna ignore you for two months."

Robbie laughs. "Ok. I disagree with you about that, though, personally, we're so good together but out loud everyone has something to say and it hurts you; it hurts when they say things and it hurts when you have to defend me; your family disowned you and you tell me that's not misfortune?"

"Maybe for them." He says through a pissy little five year olds pout.

Laughing Robbie nods. "Okay, for them but... Rocky, when I kissed you that one time I saw us together but since getting together I've been seeing bad things but the one that kept coming to me the most is the two of us being burned... to death."

Rocky blinks, concern taking over his face. "Couldn't you have just told me so we could avoid it?"

Robbie shakes his head. "When I see something, it happens- no if's, and's, or but's about it."

Rocky disagrees. "But you don't know that."

"Unfortunately, I do. Rocky, if i had stayed with you then you and I would be here together having been rescued from under a burning tree that was hit by lightning during this very storm. It came through the window to your room and pinned us down- this is what I saw; Mr. Shintaro would have made it out alright but you and me would meet our end."

"If we were both meant to die then why are you the only one here?" Rocky wonders. "Am I going next?"

"No. ...I told you that I saved you and I meant it." He takes his lover's hand. "Remember when my room was broken into? I had a vision of a party and I saw me, me alone getting burned."

His hand is released instantly and before he knows it Rocky's fist is coming down at his face. Robbie didn't so much as blink from the air following the blow, it didn't reach his face it remained in the air, just a hair above his nose. The two dead-lock gazes; neither saying a thing, just staring at the other. Robbie has no fear of Rocky, he would never harm him- sure, he's hit him once before but he had every right to but since then he's been nothing but good to him. Reaching up, his wrapped hands take the fist into them, holding it gently.

"You may think its pretty shitty, but I love you and to me... to me, getting burned was my choice. I've never been able to escape my visions but its like someone threw me a bone and gave me the choice. How could I not take it."

Rocky leans over, holding his hands at Robbie's pained sides, he rest his head gently against the male's chest. It was an uncomfortable, awkward position in the bed but he stayed there, sitting on his legs bent over, crying.

"Heey, hey now.... we had such a nice time together- times like this have been my favorite, not the holding and the crying but, just being alone together talking." He pets his lover's back.

"Its just so stupid... to be tested this much, but you know how far I'll go and how much I'd fight but still you insist on testing me."

Robbie can tell that it is not He whom Rocky is speaking to but someone far away.

"Sam... I'm going to die, even now its getting harder to breathe.... If you have any last words, please say them to me."

Rocky sniffled loudly before turning his head so his words would not be muffled. "Is there no other way?"

"I'm sorry."

That only made his pain worse. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Rocky snickers. "Ivan, do you know that I had to tell the woman at the desk that I was your fiance."

Robbie laughs at that. "You're serious?"

The blond nods. "And you know what, I actually meant it." Rocky laughs through his sobs. "I never thought I would love anyone this much again, not since Paula, but here you are and once again someone I love enough to spend the rest of my life with is being taken away." He cries for a moment. "I'm so damned scared for you I don't even know what to say or do to make it better."

That got to him. Robbie was scared as well, but he hid it, he wanted to be happy in his last fifteen minutes on earth but Rocky cracked him. He broke through that shell he's been so good at putting up. "Sam, you being here, you making it to see me is all I could ask for- because in my vision I was alone, right to the end. So thank you, this is what I want to make it easy, this is what I need to make it better."

"You mean that?"

"Of course I mean that, Sam.... you've come away to hide with me and its been so great. You and I kept each other for each other and who could ask for anything more."

"Yeah... Rocky and Robbie have taken a lot of shit but we remained good, happy- untouched."

"You're the one who talked funny, and didn't give a shit about what people said or did, how did I miss that? You were just coming out for me." He laughs merrily. "And I thank you for that."

Rocky nods. "And you were the one that let me talk about my problems, you didn't cast them off you listened and you loved me all the more for having them."

The two found themselves laughing a little longer and louder the more they spoke. They talked about how they held hands, how Rocky chewed out the school- even kissed infront of them and all for him. Robbie, who always laughed and brushed his pain aside knowing that it was already being received with every kiss or hug, long hold, or bitter tone taken with him for being foolish. They just stopped laughing in small sputters until there was nothing but silence between them. Rocky looked at Robbie and they smile at each other.

"Ivan.... what am I supposed to do without you?"

"Hn. You could sing of my love forever."

"I'm serious...."

"You live Rocky, you live Sam... you live. Don't waste a second hiding from people who don't deserve to have the power to stuff you in. You're worth far more to yourself and to me to be anyone elses. So for us.... live."

Rocky nods.

"Thank you."

"Thank you." He reaches under his shirt to reveal his anchor. "I'll keep those words with me and you... you keep this." From his wrist he removes a multicolored wrist band, its very old, Robbie can tell, but its had such care taken of it it looks almost brand new. "Paula gave me this, she made it for me and I made one for her- we did it at school but we always looked at it as our thing, our little mark of forever in every way shape and form."

"And you're giving it to me?"

Nodding, Rocky lifts Robbie's hand slipping the band on. "Don't let them take this from you," His wrist actually felt naked, almost scared without it but seeing the smile on Robbie's face as he received it the empty feeling went away filling with a new one. "All of me is with this, take it with you in spirit while I keep it in life."

Robbie touches it tenderly, but when he looks back at Rocky its not love in his eyes but fear that his boyfriend sees. "Sam, its happening." His body begins to shake.

"No!" Grabbing the call button he presses it over and over. "Ivan hang on!" He wraps his arms around his body tightly, his nails digging in as if to trap the male's soul where it belongs.

"Ah!" Robbie cried out. He's holding Rocky just as hard, his wrapped hands managing to dig into the blond through the his shirt and all causing the male to grunt in pain.

"Don't go!"

But Robbie could speak no further than a cry of pain; the nurses and doctor ran in pulling the two apart. Rocky backs away from the scene of them trying to revive the male but his monitor beeps louder and more frantically with every attempt.

"Get him out of here!" The doctor shouts.

A nurse came over to him leading him out of the room. Rocky wanted to stay, he had to stay, what if Robbie woke up?! He'd need him! Kneeling down where he stood Rocky begins to cry; his hand unconsciously rubbing at his bare wrist before it gradually moved to his collarbone tracing the necklaces delicate chain and anchor. He's trembling down to his very soul and it didn't seem that he would ever stop.

Colt was the first person- the _only_ person he saw when he got off the elevator.

"Rocky!" His brother called to him before slamming into him, arms wrapping around his sunken body. "I know what happened, is he all right?"

Rocky shakes his head. "He's gone, Colt. He's gone." And Rocky cried against his brother. He did not return the embrace, he just stood there crying.

"Sshhh... I... I'm sorry that I didn't get there sooner. I was invited but I didn't wanna go, I mean, come on! it was Darren's party but then I went and I saw Robbie laying there and I called an ambulance and then you, right after."

"He's gone.... He's gone...."

"I'm sorry."

Anger surged through Rocky then, and he shoved his brother to the floor. "No you're not- you hated him! Everyone hated him! You make me sick!" Rocky stormed from the hospital to his car, slamming the door once he was inside he rests his forehead on the dashboard since he got in on the passanger's side. "Dammit!!! Dammiiiit!!!!" He tries to catch his stuttering, shaking, breaths. "Why? Why?!" Rocky gasped suddenly when a hand touched his shoulder. Looking behind him he expects to see Colt, but instead he sees.... "Sin... How?"

The cocky bastard smiled in that way he always does, but his eyes look sad even as he spoke. "You know I'm everywhere you don't want me to be. That's what makes me so charming."

"Go away, I don't need you or want you around anymore."

"Its my choice to be here, just like it was my choice to go away." He leans forward between the seat, elbows up on the shoulder of the chairs. "You're in an unfortunate life where your gift has me very much real, I'm not just some alter ego, I truly exist when you find that you can't and your grasp is slipping drastically. You want me to take over, brother? Hmm? I'll do it for you... I'll deal with the messy shit while you hide out."

Rocky hated hearing Sin say that, like he was some punk or broken. He may hide away but not the way Sin is saying it. He and Robbie hid for self preservation but they never hid from each other and he, Sam, will not hide from the loss of his lover. He'll face it just as he faces anything wrong with Robbie. He'll hold him and smile. Grabbing the necklace around his neck he takes in a breath and lets it out; when looking back up Sin was gone. not behind him, nor beside him, but gone.

_'I won't let your last request be in vain, I won't let you down and I won't hide... not ever again._'

* * * *

The funeral was held not long after his departure. Sam and Jessica Douglas held their son tightly all the day in between as he cried in pain and told them everything in his heart. Jessica, in all honesty, was hurt that she could be the kind of person to make her son feel the way he has and wanted so much to make it up to him, but Rocky wanted nothing and retired to his dorm room at the school. He didn't need his family as hard as he needed them earlier on in his life. Things would be changing for everyone and its for the better. Colt and He made peace with each other, he didn't care for the fact that his brother had apologized for Robbie's death when in life he cared nothing for him. He has to be strong because he wants to be strong and with his son crying in his arms it isn't easy to keep his pain inside. Arc really loved his cousin and he was not taking it well.

His mother and father, the people who picked-on and shoved their son were a mess. They loved him through their being comfortable with everything Robbie is and was. They're truly beautiful people. Corin couldn't bring herself to cry, she only stared at her lap while her fingers tried mercilessly to rip themselves off her hands. All the other people at the funeral, his aunts, uncles and the like were broken inside as well. His family, Rocky's, they're there but he imagines that its only for him, just as the other students at the school. He loved this for Robbie to have all these people around but he hated the reason that they were.

"I wanted to say something kind." Rocky says at the podium. "I wanted to say something to ease everyone's pain but to tell the truth it wouldn't matter what I say because you wouldn't understand Robbie the way he was for me, just as I wouldn't understand Robbie the way he was to any of you. He's not gone because between all of us we have things about him to share with one another like our own personal existance with him and because of that I don't know what to say to help you understand who he was to me. But... I can say this- as wrong as you are for not liking him and as sad as it is that he wasn't worth anything to you until he passed on.... you're here now. You're here for him. ...Thank you."

Rocky looks over by a tree, where Robbie stands smiling at him right before he gives him a small wave and fades away.


End file.
